Work Text:
Steven was dreaming.
He wasn’t sure how he knew it, at first - he was in the temple, where he had spent most of his life at this point, at the countertop making something.
His mother was on the couch, looking like she had when she had given birth to him, wearing a T-shirt like his and strumming a guitar.
That was probably what gave it away.
“This is a weird dream.”
She stopped moving her fingers and looked puzzled. “What’s weird about it?”
“Well… it’s weird because I know it’s a dream? Normally, I mean, when people dream they don’t realize they’re dreaming till they wake up or right before they do, I think.”
Rose Quartz looked amused by that. “By that logic, wouldn’t weird things be normal and normal things be weird?”
Steven’s mind flashed with images of his life, and he couldn’t help but laugh. “For me they are!”
The sudden outburst had Rose looking surprised for a second, before she started to chuckle herself. “I suppose that’s true.” She held up her guitar. “Would you like to go for a duet?”
Steven just shrugged, placed whatever he was making down, and grabbed his guitar - from where, he was not sure, before he sat down on the couch - not next to her, though.
Rose almost seemed hurt by that, before she started playing.
To Steven’s surprise, the song his mother sang was one that he didn’t recognize - but his hands moved almost on automatic with the music, as though some part of the dream or his mind was feeding it to him without his awareness.
All he would remember later was that he felt that she was singing it about the two of them.
The two of them were sitting at the table now - a pair of mugs had appeared out of nowhere, filled with hot chocolate.
Eventually, Steven spoke. “I’m not sure why I’m seeing you, I think. I mean, I’ve dreamed about you before, but… it was always just watching you. Not talking to you.”
Rose couldn’t do much but shrug. “I could only try to help you by showing you what happened to me, before now. You had to find your own way, and… you still hadn’t learned who you were, who I used to be, and I didn’t want you to take after me. Or to give you all of my issues with the Diamonds.”
She sighed, and took a long drink from her mug filled with something that looked like hot chocolate to Steven but that he wasn’t sure was hot chocolate. Eventually, Rose spoke again.
“Steven… I think you’re past the worst. But you’ve still got a ways to go. White, Blue and Yellow may be willing to talk to you, since they realized what happened when they didn’t talk to me… or you’re just better at convincing people than I am. And they won’t hurt you or anyone on Earth as long as it keeps you happy the way it is, but not everyone in the Empire is as willing to change as they are. And some gems might not appreciate change at all.” She looked sad. “I wish I could have been there to help you and the others…”
“You were.” Maybe he shouldn’t have sounded as angry as he did when he said that.
She winced, but didn’t argue. “True. I… for the Cluster, I didn’t know -” Her face had a brief look of anger pass over it before she calmed down. “But I left you all my problems, just hoping you could help solve them because I couldn’t or wasn’t willing to. I...”
Rose stopped for a second. To his surprise, Steven saw her start crying. “I… I’m sorry.” She said, before continuing. “I know that all the words in the universe won’t ever make up for me not being there, or for what I did and all the things I left for you to handle… but you have handled them so well.” Her eyes started to water again. “And I want you to know that, that I am so sorry… and I am so happy for you.”
Something in Steven broke at those words, broke at what she said. Remembered that Rose and the Crystal Gems had never known about the Cluster - even Pearl had been shocked, and he was pretty sure that his mom would have told her if she had known about it.
This wasn’t a memory, and he didn’t think his subconscious could make a version of his mother this convincing. But...
“You… you can’t be here. Your gem’s in me, and… it’s mine now.” He had formed... himself? When it was removed after all.
She just gave him a kind smile, the tears no longer falling. “All this magic and all this adventure, seeing memories of mine that you never experienced despite not being me, leaving your own form three times willingly or otherwise, and our friends briefly losing control of theirs thanks to White, and you think that somebody just ends because they can’t stay in their body any more?”
“You’re dead.” Steven bluntly said.
Rose sighed, but she nodded and placed her hand on his.
“I know, Steven. I’m dead. It doesn’t mean I can’t be here. It will never mean that I don’t love you.”
Those words got through Steven’s skin. His eyes watered as if Blue Diamond (Aunt Blue) was crying around him. “Mom?”
“Shh, shh… it’s okay, Steven…” Murmuring words of comfort, Rose plucked him up like he weighed almost nothing (when had she left her side of the table?)
For a few seconds, or a few minutes, all he did was cry. And all she did was hold him, tears falling from her eyes just as rapidly.
Eventually, the tears stopped flowing from their eyes. Steven rubbed at his eyes and looked up at Rose - who was still more than twice his size. “Why are you here?”
“I wanted to see you again.” She looked sad again. “I’m not sure if you’ll need anything of me anymore… and everything that was mine is yours now.”
Steven felt his heart sink again. “You’re leaving?”
“For a while, I’m afraid. You don’t need my help now.” Rose rubbed his hair sadly.
“But… I want your help. Mom…” Even though he had never seen her, never really spoken to her, been angry with her for all she had done for a while, Steven felt… safe, here with her. More than he did almost anywhere else except with the gems and with his father.
“I know.” She gave him another hug. “And that’s just part of why you’re better than I was. And I’m not leaving forever.”
“Really?”
She smiled. “I promise. Get some sleep. Good sleep. I can stay here for that long.”
Steven wanted to protest - but he felt a numbing sensation creep over his body. Dimly, he realized that he was back in Rose Quartz’s arms, and that she was carrying him across the room. To his bed - when had he left it?
Had he left it at all?
As he felt his mother pulling his covers over him, the sensation of weariness grew.
And as he felt a large but gentle hand on his chest, peaceful blackness swallowed him.