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Dean is not Dean. Well, no. He is Dean, but he's now a Knight of Hell. He's a Demon with a capital D. And Cas is tired, desperate and terribly worried. They've been at it for 36 hours. 'It' not being any sexy kind of 'it', but the curing-a-demon process they tried on Crowley. Only it takes a lot more for a Knight of Hell. Dean is tired too, but still very not-human. Since he's trapped, he's trying to hurt Cas in the only way he can: aiming low, for his feelings.
Cas loves him, he can see it now that he's got that uncaring clarity that demons have. He loves him and he wants him. Dean loved him too "Yes, Feathers, a lot! A little part of ex-me still does and it's screaming at me to shut up! But don't get your hopes too high, sweet-cheecks, because it's not gonna work, and you know it!"
Another dose of Sam's blood.
Dean passes out for a couple of minutes and when he wakes up again, just for a second, Cas feels his soul again and he can see his humanity back in his eyes. But it passes all too quickly and soon the struggling Knight of Hell is back. "You know... I didn't just love you, Cas, I lusted after you..." he's aiming even lower, now "The things that I wanted to do to you would make a hooker blush, my little angel. Yeah, that's right. And I wanted you to do things to me, too..."(a moan) "you're so hot when you get all smitey, ya know? It makes me want you to bend me over the hood of the Impala and pound me into next week..." Cas is trying his very best not to listen, not to picture in his head what Dean is telling him "Say whatever you want, I'm not stopping, Dean!" "Not even if I tell you if, and let me stress the 'if', this cure works, which I doubt, that I won't remember a thing about everything I said? Come on, man, you know that we'll never be together because, as a human, I'm a fucking coward and I have my head way up in my ass and full of that macho crap that I'll never say anything, never touch you, never push you up against a wall and kiss the living shit out of you, and I know you'd want it... I wouldn't even do shit if you were to make a move, I'd just make up some excuses, like I always do, for everything, and turn you down! While if you stop now, well...we could just fuck, Cas, right here on this chair, if you want to...you can even not untie me, angel, if that's what you're into...".
Cas is a wreck and he's hating himself because the things Dean said turned him on, too. But his mind is made, so he bends down, cups Dean's face with one hand, leans his forehead on his and with the other hand he pushes the siringe with the last dose of Sam's blood in Dean's neck.
Dean passes out again.
Cas kisses his forehead, while big warm tears roll down his cheeks. He composes himself and goes back to Sam, who's in the storage room next to the dungeon, sitting on the floor, hugging himself, dying with worry and still physically weak for the huge amount of his blood now pumping through Dean's veins (turns out that curing a Knight of Hell requires a lot more 'human juice' than what a regular demon needs, king of Hell or not).
"I finished" Cas says, with a trembling voice Sam asks "Do you think it's done? Do you think it's Dean again?" "I still can't be sure untill he wakes up, but I can feel his soul again". Sam sighs with relief. Ok, they're still not 100% sure, but the cure is complete and Dean's soul is back, if there will be complications, they'll deal with them, as they always do.
They bring Dean to his room, but not before Cas has drawn a devil's trap on the floor under the bed, just in case. They lay him down, Sam takes Dean's shoes off, cleans him up a bit with a wet cloth and covers him with a blanket.
Cas watches the two brothers, his family, with deep affection and sadness. What the demon said really got to him. He knows that nothing will ever happen between Dean and him, but at least he's back. That beautiful soul that he first saw torn and shredded to pieces in the pit is back where it belongs. That man loves him, but he's a man who'll never let himself be happy so it will all go back to what if was before, like nothing ever happened. Besides, Dean won't remember saying anything, so, for him, nothing really happened...
Dean wakes up 3 days later, human. Sam has that rare, boyish smile that makes him look like a huge 8 years old. Jeez, Dean missed that smile on his little brother...
He manages to stay awake for about an hour, just enough to eat something and go to the bathroom, then he falls asleep again.
One of the first things he says is "where is Cas?", Sam answers him that he's gone right away after they put him into his bed, but Sam just phoned him and told him everything was back to normal. The next day he wakes up twice, for a couple of hours and he even manages to take a shower.
When Sam says that Cas is still not around, he tells his brother he's going to pray for him "and, can you give me a minute alone...with him?" .
A recognizable flutter of wings tells him that the angel heard him. Cas is there, his expression is strange, Dean can't tell if he's very happy of very sad.
He made up his mind, decided to 'man up, Winchester!' and just go for it, before he chickens out, finds another excuse, hears a voice in his head that tells him that real men don't do these kind of things... He stands up, still a bit wobbley, and walks towards Cas, who is still looking at him with that unreadable expression. He smiles, uncertain, goofey and, as Cas would later put it, completely endearing. He cups the angel's cheek and kisses him. Just like that. Nothing complicated, no big declarations. Just that. Simple and full of meanings, just like all the gestures between them, all the simple 'I need you-s', 'we're family-s' and 'I'd rather have you, cursed or not-s'. Cas doesn't react immediately, he just stands there, with his eyes open, his brain trying to catch up, but after a minute he finally kisses back, tangling his fingers in Dean's hair and his Wayne's World t-shirt. They kiss for a while and when they break apart, cheeks pink and grinning like two idiots, Dean says "I remember".
This time Cas kisses him, slow and tender but Dean interrupts it with a yawn followed by an embarrassed smile. "I'll be back tomorrow, pray for me when you wake up". Cas kisses him again, on his forehead and Dean drifts off, with that goofey, endearing smile still on his face.
The next morning Dean wakes up with Cas already in his room. This time he doesn't complain about it being creepy, he just wraps himself around the angel and snogs him in earnest. They stop when they hear Sam making noises downstairs, probably cooking breakfast, and they decide to go to him. It feels right to tell Sam, since he and the angel are pretty close, too and (they don't even need to discuss it) Cas is going to move in with them.
Obviously the only things Sam has to say about it are "Huh..." and "FUCKING FINALLY!"
fucking finally indeed...