Chapter Text
Jinyoung felt warm. You know, that feeling you get deep down in your chest when you're completely, head over heels in love with someone. Shit. He was in love with Jackson. No no no no, this is not good. They had already had a few close encounters with the press, and what with it being the new year and all, Dispatch was even more on edge than usual.
Jinyoung was lying in bed, sheets spread out as the glow from the early morning sun broke into the room. He groaned, shivering a little as he pulled the duvet over to cover himself. It was still winter and although the sun was shining, it was doubtlessly cold. He could hear Jackson in the shower, attempting to hit the notes of Britney Spears' 'Toxic'. Jinyoung smiled to himself, wondering why on earth Jackson still listened to that song. He scoffed, he knows why. The exact same song had been the one playing when Jackson had asked him out. Jinyoung had always wished that it was some deeply romantic song instead, but the world gives what you get. He still remembers the moment vividly.
"He is SO drunk" Mark giggled, appearing next to Jinyoung.
Jinyoung smiled, they were watching Jackson dancing solo in the middle of this club that they had for some reason, decided to go to.
"And you aren't?" Jinyoung replied, chuckling.
Mark was about to reply when Youngjae came over and dragged him away to dance.
Jinyoung turned back to watching Jackson, there was something about him that Jinyoung just couldn't figure out. Something that made Jinyoung want to be around him like, all the time.
"God we get it! You're in love with him"
Jinyoung spun around to see Bambam trying to steady himself.
"I-what?"
Bambam put a hand on Jinyoung's shoulder to stop himself from drunkenly falling over.
"How am I the only one who's not completely wasted?" Jinyoung thought to himself.
"Okay, so maybe it's not love but you OBVIOUSLY have a crush on him" Bambam giggled.
Jinyoung's heart started pounding against his chest, "Who?"
Bambam scoffed, "Jackson you idiot"
"No...I'm not...I-"
Jinyoung stopped and looked over to where Jackson was dancing. Maybe Bambam was right.
Bambam looked over at Jinyoung and laughed, "Go and dance with him"
Jinyoung looked to where Bambam was standing but he was gone.
Jackson called him over. And that, is when 'Toxic' came on.
Jackson pulled Jinyoung by his hands so that they were dancing together, close and heated.
Jinyoung laughed when his friend attempted to do a slut drop but landed flat on the floor. He reached out and pulled Jackson up, only he pulled a little too hard and now they were just two inches apart.
"I like you" Jackson slurred, resting his head on Jinyoung's shoulder.
Jinyoung panicked, "I like you too"
"No", Jackson stood up straight and slid his hands down to hold Jinyoung's, "I like, like you"
Jinyoung knew Jackson was drunk. He didn't know what he was saying. And, surely he wouldn't remember this in the morning?
Only he did. And now a little more sober, Jackson asked Jinyoung out on a proper date. And of course, Jinyoung had said yes.
Jinyoung was interrupted from his daydream by an urgent knocking at the door. He sighed, rolling out of bed and finding a t-shirt and some boxers to put on so at least he wasn't completely naked when he opened the door.
Another knock sped him up a little.
"Alright, I'm coming, I'm coming!"
Jinyoung opened the door to see a panicked Yugyeom waiting for him.
"Shit Yugyeom, what's wrong?"
"Is everything okay?"
Jinyoung turned around to see a concerned Jackson standing behind them. He had obviously just stepped out of the shower as his towel hung low around his waist and his hair soaking wet. God, Jinyoung loved him, but now wasn't the time.
Yugyeom looked as if he was on the verge of tears, "D-Dispatch" was all Yugyeom managed to say.
Jinyoung's heart sunk. Yugyeom didn't have to say any more, he already knew.
Jinyoung swallowed back his dread and turned to Yugyeom, "Okay, we'll be down in a minute"
Yugyeom nodded and ran off back to the boy's main common room. Jinyoung shut the door, his hands shaking.
Shit.
"How bad?"
Jackson was slumped in a chair, his eyes were red.
After Yugyeom had left their room, Jinyoung had completely broken down into tears. Jackson had held him for a while but they both knew they had to face it. Now, Jackson's not much of a cryer but seeing Jinyoung so upset broke something inside of him as he let out a few silent tears.
"You don't want to know" Jaebum muttered.
The other boys in Got7 were really the only ones who knew about Jackson and Jinyoung's relationship. They couldn't tell anyone else, god forbid JYP found out...but now it was as inevitable as ever.
"Here" Mark said, passing his laptop over to Jinyoung who was curled up in the corner.
Jinyoung took it, scrolling through the Dispatch article that had outed them that morning. He started crying again.
Jackson stood up, taking the laptop from him. He studied it for himself. Pictures upon pictures flooded the screen of that night at the club. Jackson holding Jinyoung's hands. Jackson slumped against Jinyoung's chest. Oh, and the one thing had Jinyoung forgot to mention. Jackson kissing him.
"Fuck"
Jinyoung looked positively grey as he ran out the room.
"Is he okay?" Bambam asked wearily.
"Of course he's not fucking 'okay'?" Jackson snapped, "Do you know what happens to idols who get caught dating? They get cut from their groups. Careers ruined. Hate mail for months, more death threats than you can count. And that's all just for heterosexual couples!"
Bambam flinched.
"I'm sorry" Jackson sighed, "I didn't mean to yell"
All of the boys stayed silent.
"I should go check on him" Jackson mumbled before leaving the room.
Jinyoung sat on the bathroom floor, his neck sweaty and his palms cold.
This is it. It's all over.
There was a gentle knock at the door.
"Jinyoung? Can I come in?"
Jackson.
Jinyoung didn't respond so Jackson came in anyways.
"Baby" Jackson mumbled, his voice cracking when he saw Jinyoung on the floor. He knelt down and bought Jinyoung into an embrace. They sat there for a while.
"Here" Jackson said, reaching over Jinyoung to grab some toilet roll.
He shuffled over slightly so that he was sat in front of his boyfriend. He took the tissue and dabbed at Jinyoung's eyes, ever so gently so not to hurt him. "We'll be okay"
"How do you know?" Jinyoung blubbered.
Jackson had seen Jinyoung cry before but never like this. He was always crying at the end of a movie, or out of laughter but Jackson had never seen him cry out of pain. And it was breaking his heart.
"I don't" Jackson sighed, moving back so he was sitting next to Jinyoung against the wall.
"But it's us, we're strong" Jackson took Jinyoung's hand in his own.
"You're strong, Hyung. I'm weak and a crybaby" Jinyoung laughed under his breath.
"Hey" Jackson put a hand on Jinyoung's face and rubbed his thumb across the tear marks that were on his face, "We are strong"
Jinyoung didn't take his eyes of Jackson. He could tell that Jackson wanted to cry but he wasn't, he was holding it in, all for him.
Jinyoung wanted to tell him he loved him. He wanted to tell him that he would rob all the stars in the sky if he asked. Cheesy, I know. But it was true. Jinyoung had finally found a light in his life, someone that was always there without fail. Someone who was willing to watch all the shit shows on netflix with him, someone who would pull him into a corner, off stage and give him sneaky kisses when no one was looking, someone who would hold his hand under the table and do the thumb thing. Jinyoung wanted to tell him he loved him. But he couldn't. Not right now, at least.
Instead, Jinyoung leaned in and softly kissed Jackson. Once. Twice. Three times.
He kept his head pressed against Jackson's until they knew they couldn't sit there any longer.
Jinyoung stood up first, reaching a hand out to pull Jackson up.
"Just like that night in the club. How Ironic" Jinyoung thought to himself.
Jinyoung was a couple of months younger than his boyfriend but he was still taller than him. Giving him perfect access to forehead kisses.
Jackson took Jinyoung's hand tightly and squeezed it.
"We'll work it out"
"We'll be okay"