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Shinsou’s always had a knack for psychology. Maybe it’s because it relates to his quirk, but he’s always been curious as to how the human brain works. He likes to understand the reasons, the motives, behind every action. Since it’s not exactly a useless skill, he figures it won’t hurt to do some research now and then. It’s hardly a waste of time when it helps him to help others.
It’s a topic he’s always had an easy time learning. He tends to analyze people for the fun of it. Complete strangers make their entire life story known to him through subtle cues like a shift of the feet or a scratch of the nose. It’s all so intriguing to him.
The thing is, it’s kind of burdensome too. Sure, it’s interesting to be able to see that Bakugou lashes out constantly because he’s probably deeply self-conscious (albeit, he’s also more than a little enabled and entitled), but he didn’t really… want to know that? It’s jarring for him to realize just how many of the people around him have some form of psychological issues.
It becomes especially burdensome when he gets roped into being friends with Midoriya and is suddenly constantly surrounded by it.
Now, mind you, Shinsou is well aware of the fact that he’s not an expert on mental health. He never got a doctorate, or whatever the fuck it’s called. He’s not even old enough to get one. He is, however, also aware that Midoriya is an absolute mental disaster, Todoroki has some serious shit going on at home, and Uraraka has an invisible, anxiety-inducing anvil on her shoulders at all times.
He notices the faint discrepancies in the smiles Midoriya gives him, and he knows there's something below it just festering, waiting to boil over. Maybe he only notices it because of all his research, or maybe because he can relate a little too heavily.
(More likely, it’s just because it’s fucking obvious and whoever is in charge of his mental stability should be embarrassed for never noticing.)
The poor Todoroki kid looks like he’s almost always on the verge of a panic attack. Either that or emotionally numb. Maybe both. Shinsou’s never talked much to Tokoyami, but he would bet literal money that the guy has insomnia at the minimum. Even Iida seems to have issues, what with how anxious he tends to act whenever a single rule is so much as bent.
He doesn’t think one needs a fancy degree to be able to tell these things. They’re just there . They’re evident.
The situation is kind of pesky, though, because it makes him want to… help, or something. Which, okay, is super fucking weird, right? Like, yeah, he wants to be a hero and everything, but he never thought that he would want to help people psychologically. The concept had only come up maybe once or twice, and it was quickly dismissed each time.
He’s also never really had friends, so the reasoning behind this feeling is lost to him. Why should he want to help these people? Why does he want to take their worries away and make them smile? He chalks it up as some sort of responsibility to help them, kind of like an apology for accidentally figuring out their deepest darkest bullshit.
But maybe, just a little bit, he actually cares about their well-being. It’s not his fault that they’re all so… sweet. Kind. Charismatic in a way that he can only ever wish to be.
And they always smile so much when he helps them. How is he supposed to say no to that? How is he supposed to refuse them when he knows that it would make them so happy? He’s only a teenage boy with a strong maternal instinct. He doesn’t know if he would even want to say no, nonetheless be able to.
So he starts to help them out more and more. No big deal, right? He talks Uraraka down from a panic attack (or three), yells at Bakugou when he inevitably gets angry over nothing, and makes extra food at dinnertime in case anyone wants some of it.
He offers to tutor Kaminari and gives him some self-tested tips on how to work around ADHD. He doesn’t mention it when Kirishima and Mina tag along for the advice, too.
So, yeah, he’s nice to them. So what? He doesn’t expect much in return. Maybe some thank-yous, or a closer relationship with a couple of his classmates.
The one thing, however, that he never would have expected to come from all of this…
“Hey, mom!”
“Can you help me with the homework, mom?”
“Mom, tell Sero to stop covering my stuff in tape!”
“Would you like to join us for lunch, mom?”
...was for him to become the accidental mother of everyone in class 1-A.
For once in his life, Shinsou Hitoshi is getting some sleep. It’s around one in the morning, and he’s laying in his bed with actual exhaustion running through his bones. His eyes want to be closed. His brain does not want to think.
He is so fucking happy.
He didn’t sleep the night before, and he only got two or three hours the night before that. While it’s not unusual for him to go almost a week with no more than ten hours of rest, it’s still tiring. Would it be so awful to just give him a regular nightly schedule? Some damn REM sleep? Apparently so, saying as how rare it is for him to have any.
So, anyhow, it’s one in the morning and his eyes are closed. He is going the fuck to sleep. It’s a miracle.
And then his phone beeps.
It pulls him out of his fugue state, and Shinsou is already formulating some choice words for whoever is messaging him so late. His eyelids feel heavy and his phone screen is shockingly bright, but he manages to sit up and become conscious enough to read the message.
>Midoriya 01:27 AM
are yuo awake by any chance?
Now, that is debatable. He’s half-conscious for the first time in days, and therefore kind of uncertain if he’s even alive right now. Before he can manage to respond, though, another message comes in.
>Midoriya 01:29 AM
i mkinda freaking out rihg tnow and its stupid i know but i
>Midoriya 01:30 AM
i dont know i just odnt want to be alone irhgt now
Oh, god damn it. Shinsou can not just leave Midoriya like this, no matter what his state of consciousness is. He sighs, sits up a bit more, and turns on the lamp next to his bed. He rubs his face with his hand, trying to wake himself up a bit more. He has got this. He will help Midoriya through… whatever he’s going through.
Even though he might pass out before Midoriya gets down the hall.
>Shinsou 01:32 AM
hey its all good, come over to my room
>Shinsou 01:32 AM
bring an extra pillow
A couple minutes pass of Shinsou fading in and out of slumber until he hears a light knocking on his door. He stands up, still in boxers and a too-big t-shirt, and opens the door for Midoriya. He’s standing there in his similarly-big shirt and loose pajama pants. His eyes are red and he’s got a pillow under his arm.
Shinsou immediately goes into Comforting Mode.
“Hey, come on in. Take a seat,” he says, voice gravelly and deep with exhaustion. Midoriya does exactly that, sitting down on the foot of the bed gently, as if he would break it if he did it any harsher. Shinsou sits against the wall that touches the head of the bed, crossing his legs beneath him.
He expects Midoriya to start talking about whatever is bothering him, but is proven wrong, and just continues to stare at the poor kid awkwardly twiddling his thumbs with increasing fascination.
“Do you… wanna talk about it?” he asks, uncertain. Midoriya glances up at him before looking back down at his hands. They’ve stopped moving, at least. Maybe that’s progress?
The most startling thing out of all of this is how silent he’s being. Midoriya is known for his constant mumbling, talking, or otherwise making some form of noise. But now, he’s just… sitting there. Silently.
“...No, uh, not really. I just… didn’t want to be alone. I don’t, um, I-I can’t --” Midoriya pauses, sighing under his breath, “I don’t think I can trust myself to be alone r-right now, is -- is all.”
Well, damn if that doesn’t break Shinsou’s heart just a little bit. Can’t trust himself? What sort of things was he planning to do that he shouldn’t? Is the poor kid okay?
“I -- uh, I didn’t mean t-to wake you o-or anything. I can, um, I can go? If… if you want.”
“No, stay. I wasn’t even asleep yet, and besides… you're more important than sleep. I can get sleep any other night.” Now, this is not true. He can not just ‘get sleep any other night,’ because that is not how the relationship he has going with sleep works, but if it makes Midoriya feel less insecure, then he’ll say it.
“A-are you sure?” he asks, because he has as much self-esteem as Bakugou has patience. Shinsou nods, leaning heavily against the wall beside him.
“I sure am.” He pats the space next to him on the bed, signifying Midoriya to sit against the headboard with him. “Do you think you’ll be able to sleep tonight, or do you need to be distracted?” Shinsou really does not want to stay up all night to distract Midoriya, but he’ll do it, because he is such a good friend and everyone can rely on him so fucking hard.
Midoriya moves to where Shinsou’s hand patted, legs straight in front of him. He’s still looking mostly at his hands as he rubs them together slowly, as if to soothe himself. He does, however, seem a bit less frazzled, so Shinsou takes that as a win.
“Um, no, I -- wait, uh, I mean, yes? Um. I will be able to sleep. I-is what I meant.” He laughs at himself quietly, presumably out of nervousness. Shinsou smiles lightly and moves to lay down on his side, facing toward Midoriya.
“Let’s get to sleeping then, huh?” he says, watching as Midoriya follows his lead, laying down next to him. “If you need anything, and I mean anything, just wake me up. Seriously.” At that, Midoriya finally smiles a bit (and not in a self-deprecating way). He closes his eyes and curls into a tight ball.
Shinsou continues to lay on his side, watching over Midoriya until he can hear small, gentle snores coming from underneath his forest of curls. Finally, Shinsou can sleep. He cards his hands through Midoriya’s locks once, then rolls onto his back and closes his eyes.
He’s not sure how, but his eyes feel even drier and heavier than they did before. He can practically feel the redness in them, but it slowly begins to subside as the world melts around him. Finally, he’s asleep.
And then his five a.m. alarm goes off.
He absolutely swears that he can feel his eye bags’ deepness. It probably looks like he got punched in the fucking face (which he would honestly prefer, because at least then maybe he would be unconscious for longer than four goddamn minutes at a time). But whatever, it’s fine. This is fine.
All that matters is that Midoriya is feeling better.
He continues to repeat that to himself in his head, over and over like a mantra, all the way through his third cup of coffee. Todoroki asks him if he’s feeling okay and he almost flips him off before remembering his manners. Yep.
All that matters is that his friends feel better.
He wishes that he could feel salty about that but, frankly, it’s true. If he can manage to improve someone’s day, even by the smallest increment, he will. Even if he has to bend backward for them. Or, you know, get no sleep.
So he deals with it.
It’s another night just like all the others--Shinsou is lying in bed tossing and turning fretfully. His brain won’t stop fucking thinking no matter how hard he tries.
By the time it hits four in the morning and Shinsou still hasn’t fallen asleep even once, he decides to call it quits. He throws on the nearest t-shirt he can find (which just so happens to be pink with a cartoon cat on the front) and stuffs his phone into the pocket of his grey pajama pants. When he exits his dorm, he tries to shut it as quietly as possible so as to not unnecessarily bother anyone.
He walks down the hall, down the stairs (the elevator is too bright and makes too much noise), and into the common room. As he turns the corner, he sees a certain bird-faced individual reading a book on the couch. It’s not uncommon for Shinsou to find him here, or for him to walk in on Shinsou himself. They’ll often sit next to each other in contented silence and, occasionally, Shinsou will bring him a mug of tea with a straw.
(He would make him a mug of coffee but birds aren’t supposed to have caffeine and, frankly, he isn’t sure how much bird biology carries over to Tokoyami. He’d rather give him some Earl Grey and look dumb than risk anyone’s life.)
Tokoyami glances over to see who’s walking around so late and meets Shinsou’s eyes. They nod at each other and Tokoyami respectfully turns back to continue reading his book. Shinsou notices his lack of anything to drink and decides to take it upon himself to bring him something.
He makes his own cup of coffee before heating up water for the tea but, right as he’s putting in the tea bags, he hears the door to the stairwell quietly open and close. Just his luck, he tries to be nice and then Tokoyami decides to go back to bed.
He leans his head out of the kitchenette to see if he’s gone but instead sees a tired Todoroki walking his way. Shinsou sighs and turns back to the pot of water. He might as well make another cup for Todoroki while he’s here, so he dumps a bit more water into the pot as well as another tea bag.
Once Todoroki reaches the kitchen, he opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. Shinsou turns and smiles gently at him.
“I’m making some Chamomile tea, there’s enough for you to have a glass if you’d like.”
“I’d appreciate that,” he replies as quiet as ever. Todoroki is one of the few people in class that Shinsou can spend extended amounts of time with, if only because he’s so peaceful. While some may see that as a problem, Shinsou just takes it as it is and lets the boy behave however he pleases.
It’s not like he’s acting like Bakugou or anything. There’s no need to intervene just because someone likes their peace and quiet.
He’s tempted to ask why he’s up so late (early?) but refrains from doing so. He knows that whatever the answer is, it’s probably nothing good, and he doesn’t want to go prying into Todoroki’s mental health. Plus, he’s sure that, if he were in Todoroki’s position, he wouldn’t want to be asked about it.
“It should be done in a minute. Would you like any sugar or anything in it?” he asks, taking a large sip of coffee. It takes Todoroki a moment to realize he’s even been spoken to, too busy staring out into space.
“I can do that myself. Thank you, though.” Shinsou nods at that. He opens his phone to make sure no one else needs a random comfort-buddy or pep talk, and it seems he’s in the clear (for once). He also notices that it’s been long enough for the tea to be finished and takes out the tea bags, placing them on a napkin to be thrown out.
Once the tea is poured into two separate mugs, he pushes one across the counter in Todoroki’s direction and scoops two spoonfuls of sugar into the other. He makes sure it’s all dissolved before placing a metal straw in it and carrying it, as well as his own mug of coffee, to the couch.
Tokoyami only glances at him as he places the mug on the table in front of him and takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch. He takes a moment to flip the page of his book before grabbing the mug and taking a sip.
“Thank you. Is this Chamomile?”
“Specifically, it’s Chamomile with honey and vanilla. Is it good?” Tokoyami nods and takes another sip.
“Did you not get a glass for yourself?”
“No, I have coffee. I’m not big on tea myself. I did make Todoroki a cup, though. I’m not sure where he went.”
“I’m right here,” Todoroki replies, walking into the room and taking a seat on one of the large sofa-like chairs. “It does taste good, thank you.” Tokoyami nods his greeting and Todoroki nods back. Shinsou laughs a bit to himself. Where there are introverts, there will be head-nods.
At this, they seem to go back to being content in silence as Tokoyami reads his book, Todoroki stares into space and drinks tea, and Shinsou scrolls absent-mindedly through social media on his phone. Shinsou’s feeling pretty at-peace. It’s nice to just sit with company sometimes without all the social expectations like talking and being energetic.
He glances between the two boys sitting with him and thinks about how happy he is to have made friends with them. But he looks at Todoroki and…
“What… are you eating?”
Todoroki pauses, right as he’s about to put a forkful of something in his mouth. He’s got the mug of tea balanced on one of his thighs and… a can ? In his other hand? How did he not hear him literally opening a can?
The two of them stare at each other for a moment. Todoroki looks at Tokoyami as well, who is now also staring at him out of curiosity.
“...corn?” he says in an almost unbelieving tone, as if Tokoyami and Shinsou somehow should’ve already known that that was what he was eating. He continues to stare at them as he puts the fork into his mouth.
“Just corn… in a can?” Tokoyami says questioningly, to which Todoroki nods. “But… why?”
“I like it,” Todoroki offers, shrugging. Tokoyami simply responds with, alright then, and goes back to reading his book.
It’s not like eating corn is bad or anything. Shinsou just thinks it’s plain weird to eat a full can of it at four in the morning. Like, was this his breakfast? Or was it just a strange snack? What did this kid’s diet even consist of?
Whatever. He’s had multiple days where his only meals were cups of coffee, so he’s not one to judge. Shinsou shakes his head and turns back to his phone.
For another half hour or so, the three boys remain there, mostly silent, drinking their respective drinks. But then it hits five o’clock and Shinsou stretches with a sigh. He stands up, stuffing his phone back into his pocket, and grabbing his now-empty mug from the coffee table.
Five was when Bakugou and Kirishima got up for their morning run, and he was absolutely not about to have a run-in with either one of them. He would just head back up to his room for an hour or so before coming back down and pretending he slept.
“I’m heading up, would you like me to take your mugs to the kitchen?” he asks both of them, though he directs it at Todoroki. He only nods and attempts a smile, Shinsou thinks? Was that a smile? Or was that a grimace? Whatever. He takes the cup from him and turns to Tokoyami.
“That would be much appreciated, thank you.” He holds the mug out to Shinsou but doesn’t really spare him a glance. His book must be getting interesting. Shinsou finds that, when a book starts getting good or pulls Tokoyami in, he won’t even register that there’s a world outside of it. He’ll just get completely sucked in and not respond to anyone until he finishes the page--or sometimes, if it’s really intense, the whole chapter.
Shinsou thinks that he, surprisingly, enjoys discovering all the small, domestic traits that his classmates possess. It’s, dare he say, endearing?
He places the mugs in the sink for someone else to wash later because fuck that and proceeds up the stairwell to his room. When he moved into the hero course, it was due to the expulsion of another student, so he got placed in the same dorm that that student had been in. For consistency’s sake, probably. This means he’s only on the second floor, which is convenient because he only has to walk up and down one flight of stairs, but it also means that everyone has to pass by their floor on the way up or down.
Therefore, when he finally gets into his dorm room, he gets blessed with being able to hear Bakugou and Kirishima’s harsh footsteps and absolute shouts to each other as they leave to go on a run together.
Fucking pesky.
Shinsou knows they’re, like, dating or whatever, but do they really have to spend every minute of every day together? Especially when they do everything so loudly?
At least when he’s a pretentious asshole, he’s quiet about it.
Sometimes.
The shouts slowly die down, and Shinsou thinks he’s in the clear until he hears a knock on his door. He should’ve known that there was no such thing as peace (nonetheless alone time) at UA.
When he opens the door, it’s none other than the obnoxious boyfriends themselves. Kirishima stands the closest to him with a smile on his face while Bakugou sulks in the background.
“Hey, good morning, mom! Sorry to bug you but, ah, Bakugou here may have broke his stretch band?” Bakugou grumbles some sort of disagreement behind him but he pays no mind. “I was wondering if you had one we could use, just for today!”
Shinsou thinks for a moment. Does he have one of those? Does he even know what that is? He’s… not sure. It’s not like he really exercises as much as everyone else in this class, nor to the same extent.
“What… what’s a stretch band?”
Kirishima laughs at this, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m gonna go ahead and assume that means you don’t have one. Well, I guess we can ask Midoriya--”
“Oh, fuck that! I’ll just find another exercise to do, I’m not gonna use Deku’s shit!” Bakugou suddenly exclaims, making both Shinsou and Kirishima sigh to themselves.
Shinsou looks between the annoyed Bakugou and the vaguely-worn-down Kirishima and rubs his eyes.
“Alright, I think I know what you’re looking for, so you two just… wait in my room and I’ll go get it. I left it… downstairs. So just. Wait in here.” Kirishima smiles and Bakugou looks slightly less pissed off, so he takes that as a win. The two take a seat on the edge of his bed and Shinsou steps out, shutting the door behind him.
Then he walks, like, four feet to Midoriya’s dorm room. And he knocks on the door.
He doesn’t really feel bad about knocking so early in the morning because he knows there’s a high chance that Midoriya’s already awake. He’s just not a loud jerkwad like some (blonde and redhead) people, so there’s no way to tell for sure.
Midoriya opens the door with a smile as always. Shinsou gives a weak smile back simply because if anyone deserved a smile, it was him.
“Oh, good morning, Shinsou! What’s up?” he asked, as pleasant as ever.
“Hey, would you mind if I borrowed your stretch band? I’ll have it back to you by the end of today, most likely.”
“Sure thing!” Midoriya says with a smile. When is he not smiling? “Let me just grab it real quick,” he mumbles, turning to rummage through a pile of exercise equipment in the corner of his room. Eventually, he lifts up a floppy-looking red tube with handles on each end.
“Here ya go! You can bring it back whenever. I don’t really use it much.” He hands the band to Shinsou, who thanks him and takes his leave. He walks back to his own room, swings the door open, and chucks the band at Bakugou. He scowls at having something thrown at him but doesn’t yell. Shinsou decides to take that as a thank you .
“Have it back by the end of today.” Bakugou nods begrudgingly and stands, Kirishima following behind. They walk out of his room and as soon as the door is shut, Shinsou lets out a loud sigh.
He loves this class, trust him, but Jesus these kids are tiring.
Shinsou’s not having a good day.
Normally, he does just fine, but every now and then his depression will spike and send him into a week-long slump. One such slump is beginning to take hold of him and he’s trying valiantly to fight it off with too many ounces of coffee and a lot of music.
It’s growing increasingly difficult for him to beat it away because every five goddamn seconds, someone is asking him for advice, a favor, or even simply a conversation. He usually doesn’t have a problem with being bothered so frequently, but his overwhelming thoughts are making him irritable and he finds himself almost snapping at anyone and everyone who tries to get his attention.
He’s in the process of brewing his third cup of coffee of the day when Kaminari approaches him, cheery as usual.
Too cheery.
“Hey, mom! Wanna watch a movie with us? Sero votes for Into the Spiderverse but I’m pretty sure we’re gonna watch Aquaman because Mina is dead-set on watching it,” he smiles, leaning against the counter next to the coffee machine. Shinsou fights off a scowl.
“And when you say ‘us,’ you mean…?” he sighs, trying his hardest to socialize despite how dreadful it sounds at the moment.
“Me, Mina, Sero, Kiri, Jirou, and maybe Bakugou. Well, probably Bakugou, just because Kiri is gonna be there, so.”
Shinsou stirs a spoonful of sugar into his mug and rubs at his temple with his free hand. He looks over to Kaminari, which just makes this whole situation worse because he looks so excited over the prospect of Shinsou coming along. He grimaces weakly.
“I would… rather not. Thanks for the invite, though,” he says, grabbing his mug. He starts to walk out of the kitchen when Kaminari grabs at his wrist. Instinctively, Shinsou yanks his arm back and scowls deeply at him. “I said, no thanks. What don’t you fucking get about that?” he snapped.
He didn’t pay much attention to Kaminari’s smile falling as he stormed out of the kitchen and up to his dorm room.
He manages to get to his room without any more disturbances, which is good because, frankly, Shinsou isn’t sure if he could manage to not yell at anyone else today. Everything has just been too much . He sits on his bed and scoots as far back against the wall as he can.
Looking up at the ceiling, he closes his eyes for a moment and lets out a deep sigh. He tries to take a moment to recompose himself but, just to spite himself, there’s a knock on his door. The hand holding his coffee immediately tightens its grip as he tries to wrangle in his anger.
Man, he’s got some issues, huh?
He reopens his eyes with a groan and places his coffee down on his bedside table. He rubs at his face as he stands and walks toward the door. One last time, he tries to relax his facial expression so he doesn’t look like he’s going to rip anybody’s head off.
When he opens the door, it’s fucking Kaminari.
He’s standing there pathetically like a kicked puppy, like he wants to talk all about how fucking sad he is.
Okay, wow. That is a strong reaction, he thinks. Once again, Shinsou realizes he’s scowling. He closes his eyes for a moment and wills his anger away.
Why does he always get like this? Why is it that he suddenly decides to hate everyone that he loves every time he gets the tiniest bit depressed? It’s like-- oh god, it’s like Bakugou. Does he act like Bakugou? Is he an asshole?
Of course he’s an asshole. He’s fucking awful.
Well, but if he’s so awful, then why does the whole class think he’s so great? Why do they want to spend time with him and get his advice all the time? What about that? Huh, depression?
Pity.
It’s all pity. They don’t actually like Shinsou, they just feel bad for him. He’s so disgusting. He’s so rude to the only people who’ve ever been kind to him. He’s a monster.
Monster.
Monster.
M o n s t e r.
“...Shinsou?” Kaminari asks quietly.
Oh. Right. Kaminari was still waiting for him to say something. How long has he just been awkwardly standing here, thinking about himself? Selfish.
“Just… come in,” he sighs. He knows he’s not going to get out of this conversation, so he might as well do it away from everyone else’s peering eyes and ears.
Kaminari reluctantly walks into his room, taking a seat on the end of the bed nearest to the door. Shinsou sits across from him and watches as he twiddles his thumbs nervously.
“...are you okay?” he whispers and, for a moment, Shinsou is surprised. Why does he care? He should be asking Kaminari that, not the other way around. Shinsou isn’t the one who just got shoved by his friend.
“Well, yeah, but I know that’s not how you usually act.” Oh, he said that out loud. Whoops. “You wouldn’t do that unless something was already bothering you, or at least I’d like to think that you wouldn’t. So talk to me. You always let us talk to you. It’s only fair.” Shinsou wants to let out a self-pitying laugh, but he manages to refrain.
“It would be fair if anything I had to say mattered. But it doesn’t.” Kaminari gives him a sad look and it almost sends him into another bout of anger.
“Well, for one, that’s just not true. Everything you have to say matters. And for two, you can’t really tell me that you think every word we say to you is important. What about when Mina just wants to gossip, or when someone complains about something Bakugou did? That stuff doesn’t really matter, but you listen to it anyways.”
Shinsou tries to take this into consideration, but he finds it a bit difficult when his depression is adamantly refusing to believe literally anything that isn’t negative.
“It does matter because it’s you guys saying it. It doesn’t matter what I say because I don’t matter. Besides, it’s not like any of you even like me, anyway, so you don’t have to listen to me just to--to keep up appearances, or whatever. I know you don’t really care.”
Kaminari is quiet for a moment, once again looking at him with a sad, pitying expression that makes Shinsou want to deck him. He seems to shake his head minutely.
“...you don’t really think that, do you?” Shinsou can’t hold back his scoff.
“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I? I’m… I’m me. I’m not someone people like. I mean, kudos to all you guys for putting up with me for so long, but it’s not necessary. I know it’s bullshit.” He says this with such certainty that there seems to be no room for argument. Kaminari, however, always finds a way to argue.
“Okay, uh… the only bullshit here is coming from you. You matter so much to everyone in this class. Even Bakugou likes you, albeit in his own weird way. I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but I need you to understand that we do care about you.”
Shinsou feels a tightness in his throat. He wants to believe it, he really does, but he also doesn’t want to believe it. Well, his depression doesn’t want to believe it. The rest of him is trying tooth-and-nail to claw its way out of a ditch.
His eyes don’t water, but he almost wishes that they would. His head is throbbing sharply and, really, all he wants is to take a fucking nap. He wants to be angry when Kaminari places his hand on his shoulder but he’s not. He’s comforted.
The look of pity hasn’t moved from Kaminari’s face but Shinsou’s finding it harder and harder to care.
“I don’t know why you would think that we don’t care, but we do. You’re sort of, like, really important to everyone. You’re like our glue, or, I dunno, some other metaphor? I’m sorry, I suck at comforting people.” Shinsou lets out a chuckle.
“I think it’s less that you suck, and more that I’m just inconsolable. Thanks for trying,” he says, refusing to look up at Kaminari’s face. Kaminari’s grip on his shoulder tightens for a moment before letting go. He thinks that he’s about to take his leave but, instead, he wraps his arms around Shinsou and squeezes.
Shinsou can only sit still with wide eyes. Is this… the first time anyone in this class has hugged him? Sure, he hugs them , but this is the first time the other person has actually initiated it. It’s probably lame as fuck to get hung up on something like that but Shinsou doesn’t care.
Before Kaminari can retreat, Shinsou hugs him back, holding him as close as possible. He never thought this would mean so much to him, but here he is, almost crying over simple physical affection.
Shinsou wishes they could stay like that, just for a few hours, until his mental battery is charged up with love. Alas, Kaminari eventually pulls away with a sad smile.
“You matter, dude. At least to me. Don’t ever think otherwise, got that?” Shinsou offers a weak smile and a nod. “Is this why you were in a bad mood?”
“...yeah. Sometimes when I get… depressed, I get irritable. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
“Don’t worry about it, man. I’m just glad I actually went to check on you. The thought of you dealing with all of this alone… sucks.” Shinsou lets out a small laugh at that.
“Yeah, it does.”
So yeah, Shinsou notices shit about his fellow classmates. He notices all their little domestic traits and their hobbies. He helps them out with whatever they need help with, and he doesn’t think much of it when they call him mom.
But now, they notice things about him, too. They notice when he looks more tired than usual, in a way that’s less sleepy and more drained. They hear the slight differences in his tone when he gets sad, irritable, or anxious.
And what’s more, they don’t just see it. They don’t just notice him falling apart and do nothing.
They help him pick himself back up.
More than once, Tokoyami has come downstairs in the middle of the night to find Shinsou already there, and he’s gone out of his way to make him a cup of coffee. Just like how Shinsou made him tea.
Bakugou offers to help him with his exercises, at least as much as he can offer to help without having a conniption (which ends up being more like, “you fucking suck at this, let me show you how it’s done!”). Kirishima starts bringing him snacks when they study together to ensure he’s eating enough. He pretends that it’s just because he likes snacks, but he hardly ever eats any of them, so that’s a bold-faced lie if Shinsou’s ever heard one.
He actually ends up going to Midoriya’s room a couple of times to calm down when he freaks out. Midoriya is more than happy to scooch over to the edge of his bed and talk with Shinsou (or, rather, at Shinsou) until he feels a bit better.
And Kaminari…
He’s always sending him worried glances.
Not in an annoying way, but more like an endearing way. Like, wow, Shinsou never realized that there are people that actually like him. Kaminari actually enjoys Shinsou’s company and that is revolutionary to him.
He’ll find Kaminari hovering outside his dorm room for “ no reason at all ” just so he can walk to class with him or ask him to hang out. The offers to hang out are frequently dismissed unless it involves coffee or cats, but Kaminari doesn’t give up.
Shinsou can’t even attempt to be annoyed at him for it.
In fact, ever so slowly, Shinsou finds himself feeling quite the opposite of annoyed by him. Dare he say he’s… enamored?
He’s the perfect amount of bubbly and bright to bring him back up from the depths of depression. He’s like sunshine personified. Plus, he’s cute to boot.
Man, being the mom friend turns out to be a lot more fruitful than he could’ve ever imagined. He’d say he’s glad he took on the role but, frankly, he never did. It was just thrust upon him and he went with it.
It’s times like these he’s glad his classmates (friends?) are pushy.