Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

How the hell did I get into this shitty mess?

“Holy shit! Are you okay?!”

I glared up at Justin, my fuck of a friend who asked that through laughing. He was crying at this point! I nearly broke my arm from trying to do a stupid kickflip.

“Nah, nah,” he got his last laugh out, “I’m serious. You alright, dude?” He held his hand out to help me. I grabbed it, just so I could pull him down to the concrete with me. He grunted from landing hard. “I deserved that.”

I got up myself, dusting off my pants. “I’m fine!” I rolled my shoulder back. Shit, it did hurt a lot. “You have a hard-on for people getting hurt, Justin?”

“Hey, my bad.” He had his hands up.

I could’ve broke something on the stairs. Hope he tries to grind on the bars and lands right on his nuts, bastard.

“You got it, man, I’m sorry.” He fixed his hat and placed the board on its wheels.

I sat on bench table, next to Trevor, another friend who was the one that told me to try the stupid thing, to pull the knot I felt in my shoulder.

Trevor snickered at me, punching my arm, the side that was hurting. “You’ll get it, Chloe. Remember that time I tried to grind on the handrail,” he pointed at the stairs in front of us, “and I undershot it, rolling down until the end?”

“Yeah!” I scoffed, remembering how he lied down at the bottom for five minutes. “Fuck, you were rocking back and forth, crying like a bitch.”

“That doesn’t compare to Justin hitting his stomach against the railing ten times!”

“I can do it now! Watch!” He grabbed the board and ran far off to speed towards the stairs. Our heads turned with him, watching him ollie then grind against the rail.

I was impressed at first, smirking at him, until he got halfway, losing his balance and landing on his stomach right on the handrail. You know, again.

“Awesomesauce, dude!” I gave him a thumbs-up. Yes! Take that, fucker!

As we were laughing at him, (it wasn’t as satisfying, Justin was laughing at himself too), I turned my head to the side and saw Rachel Amber. One of those popular, Vortex brats with her two other brats, walking towards their club’s little hang out spot on the grass under a big ass tree. Victoria and someone else, whoever she was.

“You know, I heard there was a party going on at Amber’s house.” Trevor’s voice was low, like it was a goddamn secret.

“Always have to have these damn parties.” Justin hated them more than me.

“No, it has nothing to do with their club. I don't know what it’s for, but it’s not for that.”

“What?” He didn’t believe him. “No, come on. What else would it be?”

A special party for Blackwell’s special princess. Fucking figures. Whatever the hell it was for.

“It’s what I heard.” Trevor reminded us again. “Maybe it is for the club. Just can’t have it on campus.”

“Seems the last party was a fucking fail.” Justin chuckled at himself, crossing his arms.

“They actually broke the whole DJ table and speaker in the pool. Or, maybe it just fell.” Trevor was there. Something about a girl named Dana; I had no idea who that was.

“Did people get electrocuted?” I hoped for a yes.

“I think someone got hit. I think they’re alive.”

God damn it. It would make for an interesting experience; There would be a shitload of ghost stories and pranking the hell out of each other. If only the pool thing was true. I’m the worse for wishing someone actually died.

“Excuse me, Miss Price!”

I rolled my eyes and turned around. Principal Wells aka, a stuffy alcoholic who thought he was a good boss. “Yes, sir?”

“What did I say about the dress code here on campus?”

A fancy-schmancy high school with stupid dorms and stupid curfews and stupid neighbors who play their damn music at five a.m. to look preppy as hell. I hated their jacket so much, and their skirt. I didn’t wear the stupid tie, either! He should be glad I had the shirt and pants on at all!

Justin and Trevor had the decency to wear them. Most of the uniform. The shoes were shitty and their hats were busted, but they had it on.

"‘It’s unacceptable and I should take this rule more seriously.’" I mocked his sentence. All I could speak was sarcasm. “I know, Wells. I’ll try to remember next time.” I won’t.

He huffed, his hands behind his back, walking away. “I’m watching you, Miss Price.”

“You say that every time you see me.” I held my hands out, raising my voice. I dropped my hands and turned back to them.

“It’s so fucking wild that you’re still here.” Justin wanted to laugh at me again.

“Helps a lot when my mom stopped dating that dickhead.” My mom was with the head security guard of this school. After she left his ass, he left town and I never saw him again, thank fuck. My grades went from D to B overnight. A very model student compared to everyone else here. “Wells can’t kick me out! At least I’m wearing it.”

“It’s fucking hilarious, dude. He lets us skate but the tie’s the problem.”

The annoying school bell rang. I groaned—Personal Health class.

“I’ll see you after school, okay?” I bumped my fists with theirs.

I walked with everyone else into the building. Everything about the school still felt like 1910, except for the lockers they placed. I was taller than everyone, and no one dared touch me. I do get looks and saw little groups of girls whispering about me. I never paid attention to what they say about me.

I shoved my backpack into my locker and grabbed the Health textbook. I was impressed with myself for making my locker look like a dumpster fire. But, I heard students behind me running to class, and I heard them go faster as the warning bell rang. I shut the door and left to class, turning the left corner towards the classroom.

Thank fuck, I had this class with a friend. And I sat right next to her.

“Hey photographer!” I messed with her hair. Max Caulfield. Awkward nerd but, she had her perks. Like that time, she perfectly guessed what was gonna happen inside Two Whales Diner, where my mom works. She has powers, I fucking swear.

“Hey Chloe.” She was happy to see me.

“Guess who got scolded by Wells once again.” I landed into the next seat, tossing my book on the desk.

“I dunno… you?” She was smiling. She shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

“Yup. I don’t get it; how could you wear that whole thing and not hate yourself?”

“If there wasn't a dress code, I would wear the same thing anyway! So, it wouldn’t matter to me, personally.”

I nodded, agreeing with her. I had one good outfit, and I would wear it nearly every day of the week! If only it was socially acceptable to wear one outfit for the rest of time. Technically, we were doing that right now with this uniform thing. Mind. Blown.

She kept talking, “Do you like anything about the clothes? At all?”

“Sure, at least it’s black, white, and blue. Any other tacky color and I wouldn’t be here.”

She rolled her eyes and chuckled under her breath. “You have a point there.”

“Did you hear about that party yet?”

“The one in Rachel Amber’s house? The mystery rumor roaming around? I heard it through the grapevine.”

“Yeah, her huge fucking mansion house and acres.”

“What’s your deal with her? It sounds like you hate her so much.”

“Because she’s your typical rich girl everyone likes. Her and her whole posse are fucking shitty! Elitist pricks. Fucking robots!”

It was a whole mix of shit with her, her friends, and her fucking club. Witnessing some of the shit they do, which I wasn't judging them for doing shit like that (I wasn't an innocent angel), but they get away with it. Every. Fucking. Time. And my ass gets in trouble for petty shit? She was the one everyone listened to and did everything she asked. She could act all nice to everyone all she wants, but there was shady shit she runs around here.

“I’ve talked to her before—”

The bell rang. Our teacher, Professor Ferdinand, started the class.

It was a long two periods of class. Health and then Math? The worst hours of my life. They weren’t hard to keep an okay grade in. They were just so fucking boring. On this day, for the first time in the whole three years I go here, I pass Rachel Amber in the hallway.

Me thinking she was a fuckhead didn’t stop me from agreeing with how hot she was. It was the only thing I could agree on! Physically, everything about her just looked... Who fucking cares?! Everyone in school had to have stared and watched her at least three times. What was Max gonna say about her? Talked to her about what?

I took a quick look at her and, turns out, she was looking back at me. What the fuck? She had a gaze in her eyes. Not like a squint but they were half-lidded, like she was trying to seduce me from across the hall. I looked away, rolling my eyes, unlocking my locker to throw my Math book in and take my backpack and my beanie I left. I wore it as I walked out, passing Wells as he watched everyone leave.

You can’t tell me anything now, dick! School is done and I am free for the rest of the day!

“Hey! Justin! Trevor!” They were at the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey Chloe!” Justin held his hand out, doing the handshake-and-hug combination.

“Dude, I passed Amber in the hallway.”

“Whoa!” Dude must be high. He was way too shocked. “What happened?”

“It was weird eye contact and that was it.” I shrugged my shoulders. Weird as in, "she was trying to use her seductress powers on me."

“I hate it when that happens.” Justin reached into his pocket and pulled out the stash of rolled-up joints he always had. “Want one?”

“Hell yeah!” I grabbed one. “I’ll smoke it later tonight.”

“Come on, take one more! I didn’t roll a ton just for you to take one.”

“… True.” I grabbed half instead, tossing them into my backpack. I dunno why my dumb ass just grabbed one. Did I get high from just looking at it?

“Tough day, huh?”

“Sometimes you just wanna smoke on a Wednesday night.”

Justin laughed. “I feel that. Are you heading with us to the skate park or not?”

“Max comes over to my dorm to hang out on Wednesdays. So, no, but I’ll be there tomorrow after school with you guys.”

“Awesome. Same place tomorrow and I will perfect that rail grind!”

“Sure, Justin, we’ll be there when you break your shit and laugh at you again.”

I saw Max walking down the stairs, waving at me.

“She’s here. Don’t fuck up anything.” I said half-seriously. They’ll fuck something up. Maybe more fucked up tricks and hitting nuts on bars again.

I put my arm around Max. “What’s up, nerd?”

She laughed sarcastically. “Funny. I’m guessing you got some weed from Justin.”

“You always know everything. But, yeah, yeah I did. Therefore, I guess I have to make it up to you for dealing with the shitty smell.”

“Yeah, you do.” She nodded, looking up at me as we walked towards the dorm.

“How about… Two Whales this weekend?”

“Yes, please!”

“Dude… is the s or the c silent in scent?” I asked Max. She was lying on my bed, away from the mess on the floor. I sat on the floor, resting my feet on my skateboard that I never fucking remember to bring to school, moving it left to right. I wasn’t even high off my ass yet.

“I like to think it’s the c.”

“Okay, but the c in cent is said like an s.”

“But the s is the first letter in scent, so it should be the c that’s silent.”

“The c is closer to the ent! It’s like pterodactyl!”

Max stared at me. Check-fucking-mate. “Where on Earth did you get that?”

“Just wondering… I’m not high either. But boom, Max! I win!”

She laughed, looking up towards the ceiling. “Do you wanna fight or something?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll find a question you can’t answer eventually, Chloe.”

“You could ask the meaning of life and I would still kick your ass.”

“I’ll think of one eventually! You won’t realize what hit you.”

Instead of answering back, I threw an old sock at her instead. I wish she fell off the bed; I wouldn’t stop laughing!

“Anyway,” I reached into my backpack, grabbing the blunts Justin let me have, “oh yeah, what were you saying about Amber earlier?”

“Rachel?” Looks like Max forgot. “Um…”

“Anything, Max? You talked to her before…?”

“Oh! She’s really nice, Chloe! Her money and her face doesn’t make her mean! And her club!”

“Shit, she used her bitch—uh, witch powers on you! I’ll save you, Max!” I shot up and gripped her jacket, shaking her hard. “I swear to hell, I know the real you’s in there!”

“Chlo—Okay! I’m still me! Can’t I have a different opinion?!”

Chapter Text

Where the hell am I?

I was alone in my dorm, still in its same mess, still surrounded by posters, there were still a picture of girls with their tits out on the wall next to me. And my radio was still playing on the same station. I never turn it off, because it hides the ringing noise in my head. That constant noise drove me insane sometimes. I got used to it over time, kinda. There were still times that nothing could hide it at all. And that sucks a lot.

I checked my phone. Ten percent, huh… Eh, you’ll live.

I took a double-take at the time. Five-thirty in the morning, are you eating my ass?!

School doesn’t start until fucking ten! I dropped back into bed. My room was still damn dark. The bitch from The Ring could be in the corner and I wouldn’t know. I groaned as I plugged my phone into the charger. Here… some life support.

Just a long wake and bake to start the day. I grabbed another joint resting on my ashtray on my desk and my lighter and lit it. It was rare for peace around here.

I couldn’t hear other bitches’ music, feet running around, girls scream-talking in the hallway, yelling between five different people about toilet paper and hot water…

“… Why are they called apartments, if they’re built together?” I inhaled again; how is it passed halfway already? “Fuck I’m good.”

What the hell could I do at five a.m.? I could take a shower. Then again, that hot water was the best part about the morning, if you could get it.

I finished the joint, gone too soon, and grabbed my towel. I’ll do everything else later… if I don’t forget that.

Just like any other shitty dorm, everyone had to share all the showers and sinks, which sounds horrible. It had different floors and the building was wide as shit so, at the very least, I was sharing with thirty other people in my wing, instead of everyone aka, three-hundred.

I wasn’t expecting anyone to be inside the communal bathroom so damn early but, there she was standing in a towel fresh out of the shower: Rachel Amber.

Shit. I made eye contact again. Ignore, ignore, ignore, IGNORE. Why the fuck am I running into you more?! This has never happened before! Note to self: never wake up early ever again! I walked passed her, holding my breath and pretend I was a lot more tired and as high as a fucking kite. Could I get struck with lightning, thanks.

Thank shit, she was leaving. As soon as I heard the door close, I let the air from my lungs leave in a loud ass groan.

“What the fuck!” I yelled in the mirror. I looked like shit, too. Short hair was great in theory but having to wake up with my hair looking like I was about to talk to the damn manager or whatever, it was a risk I was willing to take. I wanted my blue hair back… shit, it would make me look like Sonic. I was able to have one lock in blue and I wish I could forget myself begging for it.

Just get in the shower and forget it! Smoke five joints too!

 Me:
Max

Me:
Max

Me:
Max

Me:
My best friend

Me:
My partner in time

Me:
The mad man max

Me:
Bitch get up

Time Maxine:
It’s seven

Me:
when you erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Eight a.m.

Me:
M az

Okay, class time, the only time I wanted to go to school. Anything to get that image of Rachel Amber out of my head. Everyone would kill to see her like that. Not me.

Stupid white dress shirt with that ugly, blue logo on it, check. Wrinkled dress pants, check. Fucked up sneakers, check. My shit backpack, check. My beanie, check. And last, remembering to bring my damn board.

I remembered to brush my teeth and all that junk, so yay me.

I left as everyone was rushing to get ready, running out and getting down the stairs as fast as my high ass could.

No doubt Justin and Trevor were by those stairs again, so I rode my board there, doing ollies over ledges (and not breaking my face). Great, I was right. Running up the stairs was a fucking drag, though.

“Chloe! You’re here!” Justin turned his hat backwards. “You’re here to see me grind on this rail!”

“Great.” I sat next to Trevor, placing my board next to his. “Ready when you are, asshat.”

“Want to bet on it?” Trevor leaned to whisper to me. “I’ll say success for twenty bucks.”

“You’re on.” We shook hands on it.

We watched him run all the way back again, run and jump on his board, and then did his ollie onto the rail. I leaning forward, waiting for him to fall, but…

He didn’t. He was able to make it to the bottom.

“You sabotaged me.” I shoved Trevor.

“He practiced a lot.” He held his hand out. I had to search through my wallet and bag to find a ten, a five, four ones, and four quarters. I had no idea I had that much in my bag at all.

“Thanks.”

“Well, shit. Congrats, man.” I nodded with my eyebrows up as Justin came back.

“Thanks, dude. I worked on that all day after school. I wasn’t planning on it either. I didn’t break any bones!”

“Tight. Makes up for what I saw earlier.”

“And it was?” He sat next to me, throwing his board under the table.

“Rachel Amber wearing a towel in the fucking bathroom.”

“No fucking way!”

“I’m not shitting you, man! She was standing there, hair wet as hell, wrapped in her towel! My bitch ass was up at five a.m.—don’t ask—thinking “someone isn’t gonna be here” and she was there!”

“I mean, did she look hot though?”

“I didn’t look.” I’m a liar. I saw a little bit but not enough to answer that.

“You’re shitting me this time!”

“I’m not! It was fucking weird, okay? Seeing her so up close and two times in a row is a lot to take in!”

Students were starting to come, like a giant hoard. Everyone looked the same; it was fucking scary to watch. Fuck, seeing how many there were was a fucking nightmare. I think I’m losing my shit.

“Who thought having so many kids on my campus was a good idea?” I scratched at the back of my neck.

“This school did. Who thought to put this private school in nowhere-Oregon?”

“It couldn’t be nowhere if we all live together.”

“That’s so true.”

As soon as we looked towards the bulletin board in the distance, Rachel Amber and her posse of bitchy robots were there.

It’s still in my damn head! What the fuck!

“I always wonder what they always talk about.” Justin scratched the back of his head.

“Probably about how rich they are.” I said under my breath, mumbling more insults after. This place wanted to be a rich and snobby school, but we were here. Shit, all the money was coming from those fucks alone.

“I heard they do some hard drugs. Like on some crack shit.”

“Not surprised. With all that money, they want problems on purpose.”

“True.” Justin and Trevor spoke at the same time.

“Jinx, you owe me a beer.” Again.

“You owe me another one.” Again.

“You owe me ano—”

“Shut the hell up.” I shoved both of them. “You can talk about who gets what later.”

“Did seeing Amber nearly naked make you mad or something?”

“What?! Why the fuck—” I slapped him in his face, sending his head the other way. He wanted to yell, but he didn’t. His teeth were clenched hard together.

Trevor laughed at what I did.

“I’m crying like a bitch.” He hid his face in his hat, strangling those words out.

“Thank fuck, I thought I was too weak."

“Max!” I caught her at her locker.

“The eraser has shavings, so that’s where the words go.” Max had her hands out, demonstrating Point A to Point B.

“What about the part where the word was? Is that its ghost? Can words have an afterlife?”

“You’re trying too hard. I win.” She shut her locker closed after grabbing her English textbook.

“Technically, you didn’t answer. I said it through text. So, I win.”

“What is with you with these questions?” She walked away and I caught up easily, placing my arm around her shoulders.

“I’m proving I’m good at shit like this. You’re good at everything if you’re confident enough.”

“What happens if you screw up?”

“Be confident. Laugh at yourself. Who cares. We’re gonna die.”

“Oh, my god, Chloe.”

“Every time you think of something embarrassing you did, just remember we’re all gonna be dead eventually and no one will remember shit. Or, remember that there are people out there who legit fuck their siblings and like it. That makes me feel better about myself, because “hey, at least I’m not them.’” The whole sibling thing gave me judgmental looks from everyone else. Literally fuck off, I’m right.

“Gross!” Max’s face screamed “I wanna vomit.”

“It’s a thing! Like—”

“Don’t talk about it, I can’t!”

“I’m just educating you!”

“You’re making me relieved I’m a single child!” She went into her classroom.

“How do you even know that?!”

“I read when I want! And sometimes, it’s facts about life I never wanted to know. Now, you’ll be tortured too.”

Max shivered; I could tell the thought couldn’t leave her mind. “Okay, go to class before I barf all over you.”

“Have fun in class, Max!” I exaggerated my wave to her and left as the warning bell went off.

“I won the game!”

“Justin, fucker, you didn’t have the reverse, skip, plus four cards until now. You’re shit at hiding those damn cards in your jacket!”

Playing Uno in the middle of campus wasn’t something I ever thought I would do, but we were all high, and I wasn’t ready to fucking lose. There was fifty bucks on the table; I wasn’t gonna let it get away from me, especially after that skateboard trick earlier.

“Trevor! Come on!”

“… Sorry Justin, you are shitty at cheating.”

I cheered out, pumping my fists. “Hell yeah! Fifty dollars is all mine!”

“Trevor, I thought we were homies.”

“I’m being honest! Plus, when you’re obvious, it’s hard to lie. How could you do that with a game you just happened to carry in your backpack?”

“You planned this shit all along. Why are you two being crooks all of a sudden?!”

“I didn’t know about this!”

“Right.” I shoved the money into my pocket. “And I’m straight!”

“Trust me, okay? I had no say in this!”

I huffed, but whatever. “I’ll give you the benefit, but you’re on thin fucking ice.”

Justin was shuffling the cards again. “I’m done with this.”

“Be a good sport, dude.” Trevor snorted at him. “Why are you mad at being a bad cheater?”

“Fuck, you guys hate losing too!”

“Someone’s feeling pretty defeated right now.” I rubbed it in his face. Maybe because most of the money was his.

“Hey, you can keep assuming, but I’m putting it away before we kill each other.”

“Okay, sore loser.”

As we laughed at him, once again, under a nearby tree, the Vortex Club was sitting in a circle, talking about whatever the fuck.

“Were they always close or are we just noticing it more?” I was confused as hell. At least Rachel wasn’t looking at me. Seeing the back of her was the way I preferred… Wait, no.

“I don’t even know anymore. Let’s ride around campus. Let’s see if Wells will snap.” Justin lifted his board to show the messed-up grip side.

“Finally, something we could agree on.” I wore my backpack and grabbed my board.

We went to the concrete and started our cruise around, seeing the students with each other in their own little groups, doing their own thing. I will say, at least everyone had a friend. Even seeing only two people was a good thing. There was always one person who gets singled out in schools but, thank fuck that doesn’t happen here.

“I can’t believe we haven’t found any more skaters around here.” Trevor mentioned, skating faster to level with me.

“Maybe there are. I don’t think they know they could.”

“Oh man, seeing a freshman get fucked up on a trick would be funny as hell!”

“Shit, I know! That’s something I wanna see!”

We went through all of the area we could cover, a path without ledges or stairs, for a smooth ride. We went around a second time, passing where the Vortex Fucks were. I had to look at them, to sorta intimidate them.

Shit. Is she looking at me again?! She is! Why is she always looking at me first?! And like that!

I was losing balance. I waved my arms to gain it back, but nothing, I had to go right for grass to roll into. I let myself go, hitting it with a thud and ending on my right arm. There goes my only school shirt. Hated it anyway.

I heard their skateboards stop and feet running towards me. “Whoa, are you okay?!” Justin got on one knee to check on me.

“Yeah.” I groaned in pain. “Shit! I’m fine!” I sat up, rolling my right shoulder again. I gotta stop landing on that side before it really breaks.

“That was a nasty fall. Are you sure?”

“Ice would help.”

“Got it. Stay here, me and Trevor will get it.”

“Wha—” I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Just go!” I didn't wanna be left alone by that stupid club, but I could barely fucking move. I held my shoulder, trying the whole “mind over matter” shit. It was gonna leave a crazy bruise. Why the fuck is Amber staring me down like that for?! Why me?!

“Looks like you got hit pretty hard, Chloe.”

I was ready to tell them to fuck off, but I smiled, a pained one, instead. “Oh, Steph, it’s you.”

“The one and only. Saw your fall; looked like you were hurting. I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“Good and dandy here, Steph.”

Steph Gingrich was really cool. She was kinda like me with this whole uniform thing, wearing the boys one instead. Did the whole beanie thing too. Maybe it was a gay thing. She was chill and, like Max, I could talk to her about a lot of things. Plus, she helped with my movie fix.

I kept talking, sighing out the spurts of pain I was feeling. “Can I ask you a stupid question?”

“Be prepared for a stupid answer.” She smiled and sat down next to me. I was impressed by her comeback. I kinda wanted to laugh.

“If I told you the Blackwell Witch herself was placing a curse on me, would you believe me?”

From what I remember, she had a crush on her. It used to be a real thing and she really wanted to date her, but it was closer to the same level as everyone else now. I don’t wanna question how it died down.

“No? What makes you think that?”

“She’s been staring at me! I caught her in the hallway yesterday, I saw her in the morning wearing a towel, and I fell because she was staring at me again!”

“Wait… you saw her in a towel?”

“That’s not the point!”

“Sorry, sorry! Chloe, I don’t know if you noticed, but pretty much every girl here is gay for you. They think you’re super rad. I’m sure Rachel is also one of those girls.”

“Not possible. I’m not a snobby, stupid prep who likes to do cocaine for fun.”

“Rachel is nothing like that, don’t be so dramatic!”

“Are you friends with her too?!”

“No, but I’ve interacted with her a few times! She’s cool!”

“Go talk to Max and get a hard-on with her instead.”

“You should be honored she’s looking. She’s usually direct.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I’m saying she might like you and might want talk to you. I don’t think she ever waits like this.”

Nothing about that sentence made sense to me. She usually talked to everybody, randomly, at any time, but with me, it was avoid? At all costs? She probably spoke to people who hated her too, but now they like her after one conversation! I really am losing my shit.

“That sounds stupid.”

“I said be ready for a stupid answer, didn’t I?”

“Justin and Trevor are coming back. Thanks for the stupid answer, Steph.”

“Thank you for asking the stupid question. D&D session next week? It’s a new campaign.”

“Sure, yeah, let me know when.”

She stood up and left, waving goodbye at all three of us.

“Thanks.” I grabbed the ice and placed it on my shoulder. They sat next to me, placing me in the middle.

“Shit, now what…” Justin leaned on his backpack to sit better.

“… Why are they called apartments when they’re built together?”

Chapter Text

I had to stay in my dorm, having to tell teachers I was staying in for injuries. Max, being the beautiful soul she was, helped me with that.

At least I couldn’t be stared at in my own room.

“Mom, I kno—”

“Chloe Elizabeth Price, I swear to God, I told you skateboarding is dangerous! I didn’t want you to get hurt!”

“I didn’t break anything! I’m not dead! I’ll be in class tomorrow! Max is bringing my homework into my room, okay? Gotta go, I have a book to read for class.” I hung up before she could say bye. Guilt was slowly creeping up on me, so I text her the love you’s and whatever.

I can’t believe that shit! I let Rachel Amber fuck up my ride! I was relaxed and then, uh oh, the Wicked Witch of Blackwell decided I’m her next victim! Say goodbye to your arm! I hate her so fucking much! Steph can’t be real with her answer; that was the worst thing I ever heard!

What could I do alone in my room while everyone else in school, with a messed up arm? I wasn’t in the fucking mood for anything; I didn’t have to read! All of my blunts are gone, I can’t sleep for shit… I could take advantage of the movies from Steph. Shit, all that crap she said was still stuck in my brain. Fuck this…

I reached over and turned my radio up, trying to hide both my ringing and those thoughts.

There was a nasty bruise on my arm from my fall and, thanks to Max once again, she got a new shirt to replace the one covered in grass. I didn’t wanna go to class after being stuck in bed all day. But I grabbed my backpack and left, cursing every curse I knew.

I never looked at that stupid whiteboard thing next to my door until now. Max was the one leaving notes and messages, but this time was not her.

Justin and Trevor use me as their—Fucking gross, what the fuck! I’m gonna hurl; it has to be one of those Vortex Club pricks. I erased it, drawing a hand flipping off instead. Everyone was still running around to get ready, but some of them were staring.

“What the fuck are you looking at?!” I yelled at them. They turned away, running towards the bathroom. Maybe even stopped some of them from having a crush on me. I took the stairs, rushing out to avoid anyone else.

I hated this place with a passion, even more now. I ran to where Justin and Trevor were, and I saw Trevor had finished grinding on the handrail.

“Chloe!” He kicked his board up. “You’re looking better.”

“I guess. Some of those girls were judging the hell out of me in there. One of those stupid robots wrote on my board.”

“Damn, what’d it say?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” I shivered at the thought of it again. “I want nothing to do with skating today. I’ll watch, but I need this bruise to heal.”

“How bad is it?”

“Fucking red and purple as hell. I wanted to stay in my room again, but… I’ve been stressed as fuck. Amber was staring at me and it made me fall off!”

“Something crazy is going on here.” We walked up the stairs again to sit with Trevor.

“I know. That Amber party is turning this place crazy. Is that shit even real?”

“Yup, that shit’s tomorrow. Overheard one of the Vortex robots. I can’t blame anyone wanting to go crazy and see what this house is about.”

“It’s just a fancy house with too many rooms and so much land for themselves they don’t know what to do with.”

“We should go.” Trevor drank from his Red Bull can.

“You’re joking, right? Like, you don’t actually think that? Is Dana gonna be there?"

“Yeah but, I figured out the beer thing. Plus, aren’t you curious what this house looks like?”

“I mean,” I couldn’t think of a reason why I wouldn’t wanna go, other than just hating every part of her existence, “Yeah.” Fuck it, I had nothing to lose. Something about keeping friends close and enemies closer. Nothing closer than being in their actual house.

“I just want to take all the beer.” Justin mumbled; I barely heard shit, though.

“You and me both.” Trevor answered in the same way.

“Great, never thought I’d say this, but we’re going to Amber Manor tomorrow night.”

“Wait, are you cereal?”

I had to pull Max from her friend, Kate Marsh. I felt bad, actually, Kate was quiet and kept to herself a lot, but she was cool and was really good company to have when everything was absolute shit. She was way different compared to me; I was shocked that she wasn’t scared of me or something.

“It’s not my idea, okay? I want nothing but free booze.”

“Steph told me about what you asked her. Maybe Rachel just wants to talk to you.”

“Everyone just wants to joke today.” This is fucking weird to me! Rachel is nice this, Rachel is nice that, all of you are fucked up.

“We’re not joking, Chloe. Just enjoy yourself at the party; don’t get hurt. It could only get worse from the skateboard incident.”

“Ha ha.” Sarcastic as a motherfucker. I messed with her hair. Rather than be mad, she laughed. “Go back to your little date or whatever.”
“We’re no—”

“I’m leaving.” I turned in the direction of my locker. I heard her say something, but I didn’t bother asking for it again. Jocks, geeks, goths… just typical shit. I looked away to stare at a poster about positivity, for a second (a fucking literal second), and someone knocked into my arm so hard I was pushed to the side. I dropped my backpack and all of its shit fell out.

“Watch where you’re going, low-life trash.”

Victoria. If Rachel Amber didn’t go to this school, she would be the richest. They were rarely apart, Rachel Amber was always with someone (except that shower thing that happened), and that someone was her.

“Fuck you, bitches!” I balled up my fists, the yell ripping through my throat. They were together, with another blonde girl. Rachel Amber didn’t wanna look then! Couldn’t be fucked, I guess! Her minion did the work! Victoria, more like Vic-fuck you.

“Miss Price!”

Shit.

“Principal Wells, my bad.” I turned around to see him standing there, hands behind his back again, and glaring. “I was talking about my bag. Look at all the paper that fell out.”

“Just pick up your belongings and go to your class. You’re off with a warning today. Don’t let me catch you again.”

“Yes, sir.”

I groaned and bent down, shoving my shit into my bag again. Goddamnit! Fuck those stupid bitches and their fucking money and their fucking privilege. My arm is fucked up enough, now you want to mess with me more?! You’re going down, bitch. You and your annoying ass minions will regret doing that.

“Guys, we have to go to that party.”

As promised, I went to the skatepark with Justin and Trevor. I wasn’t practicing with them, still resting, even though speeding through this place sounded fucking nice right now.

“Now you want to go for sure? What happened?” Trevor finished practicing a heelflip.

“Victoria Chase happened. Fucking bitch decided to knock into me and drop all of my shit. We have to go.”

“Right on. We’re stealing all the drinks we could get.”

“It has to be worth it. If we didn’t take anything, why did we go?” I lifted my blunt to smoke more, breathing out through my nose.

“That’s true. You’re pretty pissed off, aren’t you?”

“Uh, yeah.” I forced a smile. “Seriously, is that Dana girl gonna be there?”

“… Yeah. But, the free drinks are a plus.”

“Glad you’re honest. But don’t lose track of what we’re really there for.”

“No, bro, I won’t.”

We heard someone take a nasty crash on one of the handrails. “OW SHIT!”

“There Justin goes again.” Trevor sighed, kicking his board up again. “I think he actually broke something. I’m going to check.”

“Twenty bucks he did?” I held my hand out.

“Accepted.”

Chapter Text

I have a whole day before the party tonight. I've had my wake and bake, I took a shower and did all of that fun stuff. My bruise was still a dark purple and not in that nasty green part yet. It was grosser looking than before.

Me:
Max

Time Maxine:
Yeah?

Me:
Two Whales?

Time Maxine:
Come by my room. I'm still getting ready. :)

Me:
NO

Me:
EMOJI

I jumped off my bed and pulled my beanie on, leaving to go two doors down to Max's room. Her slate thing had a drawing of nyan cat on it. Just a sad poptart cat with a shitty rainbow, only drawn in black. I grabbed the marker and put "Chloe Price was here" on it.

"Max." I banged my fist on the door.

She opened the door and she barely put her shirt on. Ah yes, the pink Jane t-shirt. "Chloe."

"I see your room is still a hipster's wet dream." I walked in. The polaroid pictures attached on strings, the lantern and Christmas lights (it was not anywhere near December), the bunch of pretentious photographs by other photographers she looked up to: just Max Caulfield for you. It wasn't clean but it wasn't messy like mine. I wish she'd let me fuck it up a little bit.

"I'm glad Lisa's still alive over here."

Her plant for like, I dunno, hipster aesthetics? Oxygen? A friend? She did name it.

"Oh yeah, Kate reminds me to water her on the correct days."

"She knows the schedule better than you?" They could tell me they weren't dating all they want, but I have eyes and a gaydar that kinda works. I'm still haunted by Kate calling their hang outs "dates" instead of anything else. Every time too!

"I'm busy taking pictures of things for my portfolio. You know I can forget things sometimes."

"You're such an artsy, hippy nerd, Max."

"And you're a skater, asshole punk, Chloe."

"You're getting good at that."

"Thanks!" She hung her messenger bag around her body and nodded. "So, Two Whales?"

Max was the best friend I could ever have. Since birth, I liked to say, going through our pirate phase together and being able to get into crazy shit, I couldn't imagine another person replacing that. Now, we were going through a new phase and we weren't the same anymore. But, it worked. I mean, it was one of those situations where, if we didn't know each other until now, we wouldn't be friends, but we worked!

"I thought of this before when I was high as shit," we were pressed close as we rode the bus, "or, whichever time I was high, but is it called sand because it's between sea and land?" Not a random question! We're passing the beach right now!

"I'm not even fighting you on that one."

"Three-zero, Max. It's not looking good for you."

"Chloe, think of more while we eat some waffles so I can think of good comebacks."

"Good idea." I patted her on her back. "My mom is gonna pinch my ear and pull it for that accident."

"Your mom is just being a mom. Plus, you think that Rachel somehow made you do it. Don't tell her that part."

"Hell no! Shit, if she finds out the princess, the queen of Blackwell made me do that, she'll think I've gone off my ass!"

"You're being delusional with all of this, you know that, right? Rachel isn't the reason for all of this is happening to you."

"Say what you want. I don't give a shit. She has witch cash and she buys curses—"

"You're overdoing it, Chloe. You can't say all of these things but go to her party."

The bus stopped, right next to Two Whales.

"There's beer; that's all I need to show up to shit. That, weed, or bands. No argument if it's all three."

We got off the bus and went into the diner; there were lots of truckers inside already.

"I just don't want you to get hurt or those Vortex people messing with you."

"If they do it again, I'll knock their fucking teeth out. What are those fake teeth things called?"

We sat down at our favorite table near the jukebox machine in the corner. She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't think they're fake—"

"Whatever! Make them unrecognizable!"

She didn't want to, but she was laughing.

"Hey girls, here for breakfast, I see." My mom came up with a coffee mug, one ready for Max.

"Hey mom." I nodded at her. "Are you gonna mom me?"

I was already ready to take whatever she was gonna do. The worse it could be was a full slap to the face in the middle of this place. I doubt anyone would care if that happened! Most people knew she's my mom and I'm her troublemaker.

"I already did on the phone." She pinched my cheek hard, making me flinch. "I'm working, Chloe! Will it be waffles or eggs today?"

"Waffles." Max and I said it at the same time.

She left, and I turned to Max. "That wasn't that bad."

I was just prepared! She could be crazy fucking mad if she wanted to! Thank fuck she didn't.

"I feel like that would be different if she was still with her boyfriend."

"Oh, he would beat the shit out of me. I would fight him too; I've done it before."

I had a black eye and my cheek had a bruise from that fucker. I looked cool, but he was such an asshole! He was like in the military or whatever, I get it, but it was just so fucked up that my mom wanted me to suck it up! I think he would've shot me if he had the chance.

"Glad he's gone. I wouldn't know what to do if he stayed around."

"Maybe my mom woke up one morning and was like, "shit… why are you here?" I'm not that much of a punk to need that kind of management."

"You are, but I'm here to stop you from worst case scenarios. Who was that one guy again? Nathan?"

"You mean, Nathan "Mister-my-dad-paid-for-this-whole-school-did-I-mention-I'm-rich" Prescott?"

"Yeah, and that one guy… he doesn't go to our school."

"Frank. I just get my shit from Justin. I knew I'll never be able to pay that son of a bitch. All that tabs, debts, and owes are a pain in the ass."

Those two sons of bitches just disappeared into thin air or some shit. I wasn't complaining, I never will, and I nearly forgot those two until just now. I don't even remember when they disappeared.

"Where exactly is Justin getting his?"

"From—"

My mom placed two plates of waffles in front of us. "Here you go, you two. What did you want to drink, Chloe?"

"Coffee too."

When she walked away to get it, I answered Max. "He has a plant in his room."

She had a piece of waffle in her mouth already; she nearly choked.

"It's not that shocking, Max, stop being dramatic." I stabbed the strawberries on the side and dropped them on her plate. "You know none of those security guards give a shit."

"Sorry," she drank her coffee, "I know. I wasn't expecting it."

"You shouldn't be shocked anymore about anything we do."

"I really shouldn't."

"You don't wanna go to Amber Manor with me?"

"Parties aren't my thing, Chloe. I'll probably hang out with Steph and Mikey at a game of Catan."

"Like a sleepover? Fucking nerds."

We were back in Max's room, watching these weird videos she found when she didn't wanna do homework. Or she forgot to do it. I was just here because I didn't wanna do it either.

"No, we just wanna get together and play a fun game about being settlers and building land and cities. Maybe Clue or… King of Tokyo—"

"Play Monopoly while you're at it."

"We don't have that, but she has Risk."

I chuckled. "Well, have fun with that. I'm sure you have plenty of games to make your raging-nerd-boner go crazy."

She pushed me, barely enough to make me move.

So fucking hilarious, it's so easy to imagine those three in a circle playing these board games while that one Final Fantasy movie played in the background. Not because they all like it; only Max likes that awful movie.

"You're gonna watch the "best sci-fi movie of all time?'"

"I hope so." She replied a lot happier than I thought she would. "We actually started with planning on playing World of Warcraft, but—"

"Stop, I'm about to barf all over you from all of this shit."

"The video?"

"No, your nerd shit."

Chapter Text

"Shit, this is gonna be crazy."

Justin, Trevor, and I had to take a late bus to Amber Manor far out into Oregon, close to Washington. There were at least two homeless people, a fisherman, and a waitress with us. The three of us were pitching in on the fare. I may have considered not going. Only because we all had to pay for the ride! But, here I am.

"She expected people to drive out this far?"

"She's the fucking princess of Blackwell. Everyone is doing anything to get to this house… Who doesn't wanna be in a rich person's house?"

"I heard it was two million dollars—the whole fucking house." Justin was sitting on the other side, leaning on his backpack. "Like, some MTV My Crib shit, you know?"

I stared at him. What the fuck was he talking about? Just ignore it. He never knows what he's saying. "Shit… They bought that big ass shit for two million?" I leaned towards Trevor. "Have you been in a house that much before?"

He shook his head, humming "nuh uh." I shrugged my shoulders and redirected my attention. "Why do you have your bag, dude?" It looked heavy as hell, too.

"Oh, I have an idea. I'll tell you later. You guys will shit your pants."

I rolled my eyes and sat back, looking at graffiti on the ceiling. "You two dumbasses didn't answer my question that other time."

"The one about the apartments?"

"Yeah. Like, they're built together, so why are they "apart" ments?"

"Yeah, they're built together, but… they're still apart from each other."

"But it's one big building. They're still built together. Everyone is just a really close neighbor. Kinda creepy when you think about it."

"… You're right."

"Fuck yes."

We had to skate the rest of the way, passing a shit ton of other expensive houses and trees, to find the biggest house with the most land in this estate thing.

"Where the hell are we?!" I had to scream; I wanted all the rich fucks to hear me.

"Amber Manor, dude!" Justin was excited, speeding ahead of us towards the house. As they ditched their boards and ran through the grass, I had to stop.

This house is fucking long. The shit is two houses! It's just land! The fence went on for miles! The whole school had to be here! This shit can hold everyone!

I couldn't stop looking at it. There was so much shit, for this one bitch, and it was her place. I needed to destroy this fucking place somehow.

"Come on, Chloe!" Justin called out for me. They weren't even halfway through the grass yet. Max, I hope I get through this.

I continued to run, but I was still confused about this place. She really is the princess of… This is a fucking drag to look at.

"Holy shit!" Justin got to yell it before I could. I felt the music in my chest, like punching in me. The house is full! Everyone came! This is what a Vortex club party looks like. We're at a Vortex party!

"Race you to the beer!" Justin and Trevor yelled together, then ran inside. I followed them in. I needed a drink to calm my damn nerves. It was dark, everyone was squished together, and everyone had to be drunk.

I grabbed the first beer can I saw and broke it open, chugging it down. It burned like hell and it tasted just like piss… Anything to forget I was in Amber-fucking-Manor. I couldn't see a fucking thing. The lights outside were the only thing lighting this place! There were so many people; it had to be the whole damn school!

I've been to parties, but not like this. Holy fucking shit, this bitch wanted this to happen?

I chugged another one after tossing the other one somewhere. One thing Justin had in his backpack was duct tape and there just happened to be two bottles of forty ounce next to the rest of the drinks. That's his fucking plan? I need to watch this shit!

"I'll bet you fifty if he loses, Trevor!"

"You're on, Price!" He was wrapping the tape around Justin's hands. He looked crazy like that and I could tell he was gonna lose already. He's a weak ass when it came to drinking. "Are you ready, Justin?!"

Before we could yell "go," he went anyway. We were able to get everyone else's attention and they were chanting "chug!" at him. I joined, obviously, feeling a little sick already after the second drink. I have to stop; I already feel sick as hell. Now there was clapping under the yelling. Justin wasn't halfway yet with either bottles. This fucker was gonna throw up any second.

I think I'm spiraling a little bit, holy shi—

The crowd groaned, loud and in disgust. I knew Justin was gonna throw his guts up! Everyone was backing up, but we couldn't look away. I grabbed my phone to record it and he was still barfing. Everyone was cursing and making barfing noises too, but other people wanted to try it. All of these kids ran to those bottles and took the duct tape straight out of Trevor's hand to start their own game.

Sorry not sorry, bitch!

When he stopped barfing, he cheered and was off his ass, yelling as if he won.

"You owe me fifty!"

"You won fair and square! Now help me get this damn tape off of him!"

We dragged him to the kitchen and, thank hell, everyone moved. Thanks Justin, for being a vomit-drooling mess.

We dropped him on the floor and we searched for scissors to cut the tape. I found them, cutting his right hand first.

"Ready to go yet?" I asked through laughing. I wanted to laugh my ass off. He broke so quick; I need to watch that shit again later!

"Hell no, Price! I have to do it again!"

"It's funny as shit but we don't want you to get poisoned!" I punched his arm, making him flinch and rub the spot I hit. "Wouldn't want you to OD in this fucking place!"

"Let's smoke weed then!" He got up as soon as the bottle was off. "You coming with?"

"Yeah, I need some too!" We rushed through the crowd again to go back outside. All of the people outside went out far in the grass, giving us privacy to do what we wanted.

"Ready to bake until I'm burnt!" Justin sat down at the first table he saw near the door, digging into his pocket. "Growing this is so easy."

"Max thought it was crazy." I chuckled at the thought of her nearly choking earlier. I pulled up a chair from another table. Speaking of her, I check my phone:

Time Maxine:
How's the party going?

Me:
Fucking awesome

"Oh," he took an orange pill bottle out full of weed, "I found a good dealer to get more good shit."

"No fucking way."

"Yes fucking way. This right here," he shook the bottle, "twenty-five bucks."

"Whoa, what the fuck?" Knowing it was from someone else, I had to ask. "Do I have to pay you back in the future?"

"Don't even worry. I think we should try this new one tonight. I got paper." He went on to dig through his pockets. "I think I should sell on the side now. I made a bunch and nothing wrong with making bank." He leaned in to whisper. "I could get some mad cash from these snobs, am I right?"

"Yeah, you could." I chuckled. "You're gonna start a party like that, huh?"

"I saw the forty and I was like, "fuck yeah." I could only get more fucked up now." He was good at rolling them up fast, handing one to me first. I had my lighter in my pocket, lighting it as I put it in my mouth. I dunno what was in it but, the moment it hit me, fuck. All of the shit I felt at school, the anger from those Vortex fucks, it was all gone.

"Holy shit, man." I had to lean back in my chair, sliding down a little.

"Fucking bomb?"

"I think I'm gonna cry. It's so fucking good." I took a deep breath in, taking in more smoke. "This isn't laced with anything, right?" I should've asked that before I took a hit.

"Nah, he's a good dealer. I heard about him from some people. You'll be good." He took a hit and he felt it too. "Damn, this is good."

"Right? Now I can deal with this party."

I felt lost. We didn't talk at all during that whole session together. I drowned in the music, it sounded so much nicer. The colors became brighter, too… Fuck, it's so nice.

Justin started to chuckle and stare at us. "You guys look funny."

"You do too." Trevor replied. We laughed together, I dunno why, everything just felt nice to do that. "Dude, keep going to that guy."

"Way ahead of you."

I finished before them. I sat back and watched the crowd outside as they were running. Oh shit, one of them was naked and everyone else had his clothes. I think he was trying to get them back. Too bad they're too far away... and I could barely see after everything I just smoked... Eh, I'll assume his dick is small.

"Guys, I'm gonna drink some more. You guys want some?" I stood up from my seat.

They shook their heads.

When I walked back inside, I got lost in the crowd. I was going through it, feeling the music a little more. I was dizzy, but I could still walk and see everything. The colors were brighter than earlier; it was like my own breadcrumbs path but laser lights.

I stopped in the middle, I think it was the middle anyway, and I was in front of someone. I dunno why I stopped; I didn't know who the hell it was.

Who… I tried to squint and focus as hard as I could. I could feel everyone and it felt so gross and weird. I was stressing out again. I could see a little better: red shirt. I could tell it was a girl.

I felt my spine shiver.

She was touching me. Her hands were on my face and she was touching me. We were swaying together; I had to follow her lead. Her hands stayed there, feeling my face and neck. I wish I could see what her face looked like; how she was looking at me.

She got closer, feeling my arms and sides. Was I enjoying it or was I so high and drunk that I can't do anything? I think I was looking back at her. Her hands kept going around me and I was starting to feel her hips.

"Chloe!" I heard Justin and he grabbed my arm. "Dude, we're getting to my plan! Come on!"

I didn't hesitate; I left with him, running and pushing through everyone. What the hell was that? Did I just have a moment with a fucking stranger? Or was it her?! Fucking hell, she fucking annoys the hell out of me! I just wanna punch the shit out of her!

"What's your big plan, dumbass?" We got away from the music, standing in another room. "What the hell is this, a library?"

"Sweet, right? She has a library in her house!"

"Wha—" I looked at his hand and he had a beer bottle in his hand. "This is your plan?! You just wanted to get fucked up somewhere else?!"

"Nah, dude! My plan is in here!" He passed the bottle to Trevor and let his backpack fall. It sounded like there was metal inside of it. He opened it and he took a can red spray paint out. "I say, let's wreck some shit."

"You're gonna do that in here?!"

"I was thinking finding Rachel's room… But, let's cover as much as we can."

Trevor and I looked at each other. I gulped, nervous for whatever reason. I cleared my throat and grabbed the can from him. "I need one more drink. I need to forget that we ever did this."

He gave me the beer bottle he had. "Right on."

I didn't down it fast. It burned more this time, and I was starting to really feel it. I was dizzier and seeing doubles of everything. Okay, I think I'm ready. I shook the can around and took the cap off, throwing it to the side.

I started before them, and I sprayed across one bookshelf, covering all the books on it in red. We all gasped at first. Holy shit.

But then Justin did it to another. Then Trevor did it to another.

"Fuck yeah!" I ran across the room, spraying the shelves, the desk, the chairs, the statues, the pictures—everything I could. Justin and Trevor were doing the same, covering over with two different colors. Different words everywhere:

SUc K tHIS

BLAC HELLS very OWN dEViL

RACHEL CAN FUCK OFF

EAT THE RICH

"Let's go to the next room!" Justin ran off outside again, forcing us to follow into another place. This has my blood pumping now! Hell yeah, this is what I wanted to do!

We just kept spraying. I didn't even give a shit what room it was, I just went off in it. I couldn't tell if it's covered or not, but I followed where Justin was going to go with his plan. Red, blue, green, yellow, purple: those were the only colors I could see. He ran through the party again, pushing through people again.

"This is a fucking basement." I said as we ran down the basement stairs.

"I know!" He sprayed the moment he touched the floor. There were boxes, and random shit, but we kept spraying everything, no matter what it was.

We sprayed more words, I could make out:

FUCK YOU VORTEX

SuCK iT AMbeR

VORTEX SKANKS

YOUR ALL BITCHES

The music stopped.

We froze in place. What the fuck is going on?

It was quiet. Not a single noise.

"What's going on here?!"

We heard it upstairs. It was muffled, yet it sounded loud and clear. We shot looks at each other, dropping our cans on the floor. Shit.

"We got to go!" Trevor ran upstairs again. I could barely see what was going on. I had to follow a blue shirt as my only way.

"Move!"

"Everyone, go! Leave!"

"Shit, shit, shit!"

"Run!"

Everyone was scattering. I couldn't tell where I was going. Just go! Leave! Don't stop! Don't turn!

"Hey, punk ass Price!" The front of my shirt was grabbed. I couldn't tell who it was. Some buff motherfucker… some football player, whoever the fuck he was. "This is a special delivery from the Vortex Club!" I was dragged into another room. I was fighting, kicking and punching, but I didn't hit anything.

He threw me onto a table, pushing all of its shit off, and I landed on the floor. All of the pens, books, and whatever the hell statue was there were stabbing me in the back. That guy grabbed me again. He threw me into the bookcase, knocking my head.

I tried to get up. I got kicked in the stomach, forcing air out of my mouth. I was forced into the bookcase again, kicked over and over again.

There was another guy and came up to me, grabbing me by the shirt. His fist was up and punched into my eye, knocking me to the ground again.

"Everyo-e out of -y -ou-e!"

"Ev-ry-ne, -et o-t!"

"G-t o--!"

"L-av- n--!"

Chapter Text

"St— ri—t -h—e y-u a—!"

I couldn't see anything—just darkness and colors. Everything was muffled in my ears. Noises were hiding under the loud ringing I was stuck with. It was louder than before. Everything was blurry.

Someone stomped to me and flipped me to my stomach, forcing my hands behind my back. I heard the handcuffs clicking and going around my wrists, closing tight. I felt something cold press to my back. The tip of a gun was pointing right into me.

"W-it, I d-n't—" I could barely hear myself.

"St- q—e-!" He screamed into my ear. The gun was still pointing at me. He dragged me to my feet, forcing me through the house. I was tripping over myself and the shit on the ground. I just saw colors. Everyone left. And I was the one that was arrested.

There were voices nearby, just noise and murmurs.

This was getting fucking worse. I was angry, but I also wanted to cry. I couldn't get away from this. This was what Max was afraid of. What my mom wanted me to be away from.

"Y— -av- t- -i—t to —m-i- s—e-t." He started with those stupid rights as we got outside. It was memorized into my brain: "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you by the court. With these rights in mind, are you still willing to talk with me about the charges against you?"

"Y-, s-r." I said when I heard nothing after.

I was pressed against the cop car, lights trying to burn my eyes, and he started to pat me down, grabbing my phone, money, and ID.

"-ne go— b-e-h, plea-." He shoved a breathalyzer into my face.

I have to go along. I can't get any jail time for this.

"Point-zero-nine."

I'm going to jail. I was forced into the car and it slammed shut.

Everything was hurting. My stomach was hurting. My face was hurting. I felt like I was gonna hurl. My arms were hurting already from the cuffs. I felt like shit.

Fuck Rachel Amber. Fuck Vortex. Fuck Blackwell. Fuck Arcadia Bay. Fuck everyone.

Fuck me.

I knocked my head against the wall. Again and again, hoping to knock out or die. They stuck me in a small interrogation room for I dunno how long. I still haven't seen anyone else other than a police officer.

My high was wearing off and the pain was getting worse. The ringing in my ears filled the silence, getting on my nerves. It made me hit my head harder.

I didn't know what to feel. Was I angry? Sad? Scared? All three? All I knew was that I felt weak. I could make any stupid mistake.

I stopped knocking my head and stared at my lap.

Why couldn't I pass out anymore?

The door opens, and it was a different officer. Or detective. I dunno, some guy wearing blue and holding a clipboard.

"Hey, how're you doing?" He sits across from me. "What's your name?"

"Chloe."

"Chloe Price. So, let's make it easy for you. We found alcohol, marijuana, and spray paint inside the house. Inside the house of James Amber, the mayor of Sherwood. You were the last one found inside the house in the room where the room was defaced and bottles of marijuana were inside. You also proved that you're under the influence of those drugs. Were you the one who brought in those items?"

I looked away. I can rat out everyone else. I could get everyone else in trouble.

"Not talking, huh? Your current sentence at the moment would be two-hundred hours of community service within the house to clean up and fix the mess that was made. There is also a two-hundred and sixty dollars fine with your name on it. I want what's best for you, really, and it could lessen if you tell us someone was working with you."

I can't think. All I want is help.

"Could I… call someone?" I felt my throat tightening.

"We called someone for you already. She's on her way."

Mom is crying her eyes out, I know it.

"I need to call one more person…"

"No can do, Chloe." He shook his head. "Not when the daughter of James Amber pointed you out in particular. Along with some other sober witnesses there who proved their innocence."

Fucking bitch... I see you hated me as much as I fucking hated you.

"You couldn't arrest anyone else?"

"Can't say, Chloe. However, you'll be sitting there until we get a clear answer from you or someone decides to come clean. In all the years I've worked here, the latter is never happens."

I felt my eyes well up and burn. I couldn't hold in my tears anymore. I kept a tough face, even though it didn't help me.

"Nothing, huh?" He grabbed his clipboard again and strode to the door. "I'll be back later. Think this over." He slammed the door shut. I hit my head against the wall with the same force.

I have no idea how long I've been here... I'm exhausted... and hungry...

I was getting jittery and nauseous, trying to hold everything in. I've been wanting to scream since I got there, but it wouldn't do anything. It would work in their favor. It meant I was losing my mind and will say anything they want to get this over with. I was losing my mind.

Everyone thinks I brought those things in there. The drinks, the weed, the paint… Shut up stupid noise in my head!

It was getting higher. Louder. I slammed my head into the wall again.

"Chloe!" My mom was ready to run into the room. It looked like she was crying the whole ride here. "I can't believe—"

"Sit there, Ms. Price." The same man waved to the other chair.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't focus on anything.

"Chloe… Were you the one who did all of this, who caused this destruction? Did you go there to destroy their home? Did you go to prove something?!"

I looked away from her. Just keep it together, Price.

"What you did is wrong, but because I'm your mom and I love you," she had her hand out to reach to me, but I couldn't move, "I hope you know what you have done, and I want you to face the consequences. I can't forgive this for now, but I need you to wake up."

I couldn't look at her or him. I have to stay tough. You can't break.

"I never imagined to wake up to a call from the police, let alone the call being about you! Are you still angry? Do you want something to be fixed?! I want us to be closer again. I'm glad you're still in school with good grades and good friends, but are you happy?"

My throat was tight. Her voice was fading away. It drowned in the ringing.

All I heard was ringing, growing louder. The voices weren't understandable anymore.

"Thank you, Ms. Price." I could barely hear that. "We'll call you when we're done here."

My mom left without looking back at me. I looked at the table again.

"I'm leaving you in here for a bit. Think about your answer."

I was able to get some sleep, passing out before I knew it. It helped with ignoring my fuck-ups and my physical pain. I think I had a nightmare. I couldn't run in it. My legs were hurting. What a shitty feeling to wake up to.

"Chloe Price." It was the officer. "We have some news for you. You won't need a lawyer. Or, a trial for that matter."

"Is that supposed to be good news?"

"There were condemning evidence with your face and prints clear as day on them. You're the only one everyone pointed to. You're the only one all the witnesses who came forward named."

I wanted to scream. What was he talking about? What was everyone else talking about? Did that house have cameras or something? Fuck! What the fuck is about to happen to me?!

"James Amber's daughter did come forward and took all the responsibility regarding the party itself and the alcohol. However, that was all she stated."

"What about my bruises?! Huh?!" I wanted to snap, but moving a little bit made me sit back down again. I could only use my voice. "Doesn't that mean something? You know, I was beat nearly to death!"

"Took care of it."

"Who—"

"Listen, Chloe, we both know that you want to get out of here, so we better cut to the chase, yeah?"

I huffed. I didn't have a choice. Who knows what the fuck will happen when I stay in this room any longer... Okay... fine. You win. "What's my sentence...?" I said through gritted teeth.

"A few days in jail, along with the two-hundred and sixty dollar fine and two-hundred hours of community service on Amber Manor."

I couldn't think of shit. I needed sleep, morphine, to be back in my dorm room. I needed to be alone. I wanted to be alone.

Jail wasn't the right place for me to have time alone.

Nothing could be said.

It was a small room. I was wearing prisoner orange, sitting alone in a beige room with nothing but the ringing in my head, an uncomfortable bed, and that cold sink and toilet I've only seen on TV. I was finally given medical help. I knew I was covered in dark purple bruises and even small movements shot a sharp pain through me.

A few days. Three days. I had nothing to do, other than think and eat that bullshit they called food.

I took a mugshot. My right fingers were still covered in black ink from the fingerprints. I was stuck with one police officer.

I guess me being beat to hell wasn't enough to prove that I wasn't the only one in this.

James Amber probably wanted me in this room. I'm only fucking seventeen! I shouldn't be in a room like this! Good job, Chloe... You have a criminal record now.

Chapter Text

"Chloe Elizabeth Price, age seventeen, charged with illegal possession of marijuana and destruction of a home. You will be punished with a three-day jail sentence, a two-hundred and sixty dollar fine, and two-hundred hours of community service to fix the home."

I couldn't stop hearing that in my head.

"You will be working in Mayor James Amber's home and cleaning the rooms. He has requested you go to the house every day after school starting Tuesday, and working all day on the weekends. He has also requested to not interact with his daughter, Rachel Amber."

I wasn't allowed to say anything at the police station. Every time I tried: "it was taken care of." Every time my mouth opened: "it was handled already" or "can't say." I couldn't mention any names. It was just: "it was investigated." I had no idea what happened to everyone else except, typical for the rich and privileged, a slap on the wrist.

After my mom picked me up from the police station, she took me home with her. I thought she was gonna give a piece of her mind too; I was glad she didn't. She wasn't mad anymore, making me my favorite breakfast and paid attention to me, but I could still tell there was some anger left. I think because I didn't lash out at her first; I would hate to, after that sentence I had to deal with.

I stayed in my room. Door locked, ignoring calls and texts, and lying down in bed with painkillers. I kept getting texts but I couldn't answer. I didn't know how.

Time Maxine:
I'm in my room if you need anything.

Justin:
Dude, what happened?

Trevor:
Where are you?

Steph:
Max told me about what happened. Are you okay?

Justin and Trevor pissed me off the most. What happened?! Where are you?! Those stupid fucks probably don't remember any of that shit! Or worse, they were ignoring it or pretending they had nothing to do with it. My hands balled up and turned my knuckles white.

The only thing I talked about with my mom was how I was feeling or if I was hungry. What am I supposed to say?! "Are you proud?!" I have to pay nearly three hundred dollars and I have to clean like a maid for two hundred hours! I have to be stuck in the bitch-that-I-hate's house and I can't talk to her! I bet I can't even breathe her air! Her dad will kill me! He's the damn mayor of Sherwood! Are you proud?!

I stared at myself in my phone screen. My eye was bruising fast. My arm was purple, my stomach was purple, and now my eye was fucked up.

I haven't started that cleaning shit and I hated it already. I didn't wanna leave. I knew most people decided to go home to act like they were never at that party. They probably already knew that I was jailed for three days.

I wanna die. Even though everyone said they're there for me, that they're worried about me, and they were honest about it, but I just... It feels like a waste of time.

For the first time in a couple years, I started having suicidal thoughts again. They started on my second day in that cell. I remember them stemming from losing my dad and how much I wanted him back, along with my mom's sad attempt at dating again. This time, I wasn't sure, to be honest. Maybe because I didn't wanna be a disappointment anymore. I just wanna take everything back. Change my decisions involving anything with that party. I'm just... fucking over it...

Over time, the ringing noise was comforting. It was weirdly relaxing while stuck in a jail cell; I think silence would've been the worst. When I got home, I thought I was gonna dig through my CDs and play everything at high volume, but I didn't. I dunno because I was too tired or something; I just lied down and that was it.

Five a.m. again, huh?

My mom had another late shift tonight, so I was left alone. Again. At least I was home, but it somehow didn't feel better than that cell. These were my stuff. My posters. My clothes. My bed. My house. But, why didn't it feel like it? I could see my phone had the blinking light for texts; I didn't bother trying to get it.

I got up and grabbed an old t-shirt and shorts and went to the bathroom. I was still in my sweater and jeans, clothes my mom brought me, and yet I still felt like I was in that jumpsuit. I avoided the mirror, not wanting to see even a blur of myself.

I took my clothes off, feeling pain in my arm and stomach from moving, and turned the shower on. Instead of hot water, the cold water felt better. I exhaled, allowing everything in my mind to process.

I cried.

I broke altogether. Let myself go. It streamed down my face and mix with the shower's water. My throat tightened. I felt like I was choking.

I punched at the shower wall.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Until I felt my knuckles bruise too. I wanted to scream.

I shut the water. My heartbeat raced. I breathed hard. I forced the curtain open and pulled on my clothes on. I approached the big mirror, gulping and feeling how dry my throat was, and looked up.

Broken.

Beaten.

Falling apart.

All the anger I held inside, since the first second of jail, couldn't stay in. I screamed, letting it rip, echo, and out, swinging my arm at my reflection. Glass fell. My knuckles were bleeding. I punched again. I felt the sting, but it was nothing compared to everything else. No amount of pain I could do to myself now could compare to what happened. My blood dripped to the ground, covering some shards of glass at my feet. There were still large pieces of glass left hanging on the frame.

I felt more anger build up inside me. My hand was shaky as I lifted it, staring at the large cuts I had. It was only red and it wouldn't stop.

My tears stung my eyes, burning my skin.

I didn't know who my anger was for. I wanted to say Justin and Trevor, Rachel-fucking-Amber, or any of those Vortex freaks...

Why would I punch my reflection if I wasn't angry at myself?

I snapped out of that thought, realizing I was still standing in my bathroom, a broken reflection looking back at me.

A large crack went through my face in it.

Chapter Text

I spent the next hours cleaning my hand and the bathroom. I made sure there was no more glass and blood in sight, getting through the pain in my knuckles. My hand was wrapped up, but I was still shaking from the force I used on the wall and the mirror. I avoided stepping on it, luckily. I wouldn't want fucked up feet too. I could just say the mirror fell last night and hide my added injuries from her. Just smaller lies should suffice.

About now, I would do my wake-and-bake in my room, but the thought of it made me physically sick. I felt like wanting to vomit just thinking about it. I knew I was traumatized for the rest of time. A part of me wanted to stick through that too, but I don't think my body will be able to take it anymore.

Instead, I changed into my school uniform, buttoning until the collar, and rolling the sleeves. I smoothed my shirt out, exhaling at how I properly I was wearing this stupid outfit for once. Next, I cleaned out my bag of all the joints I had from Justin. I made sure to double check it for anything; I couldn't take any more chances.

I eventually found a box of cigarettes I forgot about. I didn't feel too sick looking at it, so it was tempting.

I'll think about it on the way to school. I stuck it back in my backpack.

I still felt exhausted. I wasn't ready to face anyone, but I had no choice. I took the stairs and heard my mom cooking something. The closer I got, the more I smelled it was eggs and bacon. I stuck my hand into my pocket, clenching my jaw.

"Hey mom." I smiled, weak but it was real.

"Good morning, Chloe." She finished a full plate and turned the stove off. She kissed my cheek and started examining my eye. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"As good as I ever could be in this situation…" I went to the table that had a plate ready on a placemat.

"All I ask of you is to not cause any trouble at school."

I felt annoyed by that. If I was involved in a fight today, it wasn't started by me. I gripped my fork and ate my breakfast, not wanting to say anything out of line right now.

I heard her sigh, along with the sound of her putting the pan in the sink. "Or, if someone tries to cause you trouble, I hope you do something."

At this point, everyone threw me under the bus, so I doubt doing something would do anything. "I'll try."

I took the bus to school instead. But, since the walk to the nearest stop was kinda far, I had time to figure out the box of cigarettes. Whether to throw it away or use it now, it was a hard decision. I really shouldn't after the party, but I was stressed the fuck out. Maybe give it to Max; she could throw it away easier than I could. Fucking hell… why is it a hard decision? My brain is still fucked up from it all. It hasn't been a week and I missed school yesterday… Everyone's gonna fuck with me…

I was shaking again, my urges to smoke kicking in. I grabbed my wrist and took a deep breath. No, go to Max—no, hide it—No, Max! My brain was about to implode until I made it to the stop. On time, the bus was approaching.

I had to have looked fucking suspicious, but I paid the fare and sat down, taking another deep breath to stop myself from giving into my bad habit. I need to get clean. Stupid fucked up brain still needs it. I was so stressed that the ringing was growing louder again. I need to relax… One bad thing and it'll fuck everything up again! I shook my head and gripped my wrist tighter.

"Chloe!" I heard Max's voice; she was rushing down the steps of the school. That was the fastest I've seen her go. I was getting stared at; As much as I wanted to say something, I couldn't. I chewed on my cheek to stop myself.

She slowed down as she got close, bringing me into a tight hug. I had my left hand, my good one, on her back to hug her too. Let me say, getting kisses from my mom and hugs from Max was nice. I wasn't used to the whole affection shit, but it felt fucking great now.

"I dunno what to say." I mumbled, pressing my cheek into the side of her head.

"You don't have to say anything." She pulled away, fixing my shirt collar. "I'm glad you were able to come. Joyce told me what kind of injuries you had, but what happened to your hand?"

"Nothing, I fixed it. Don't worry."

She squinted her eyes, wary. She sighed then nodded. "So… how are you, though? And, be honest, please."

"Well, jail was fun, I guess." I said with some snark; I cleared my throat when I saw her looking annoyed again. "I thought everything over in there… I'm really trying, Max, you have to believe me. I'm working through it."

"Of course, I believe you, Chloe."

"When all I could do was think in that cell, I want to be better. It was torture in there—"

As soon as I said that, someone slapped the back of my head, with so much force I leaned into Max. I bit my tongue, my hands shaking and wanting to choke whoever the fuck did that.

"It's torture here too… I knew I wasn't gonna get through this."

Looking around, people from the party were walking around like it never fucking happened. I was the only proof that it happened at all. People were even laughing at me.

"Steph, Mikey, Kate, and I are here for you, okay? Don't box yourself in or think you're alone."

I gripped my backpack strap. I can't say that I won't. I know I just might. Or, maybe I already am. "Right... I can't promise you that I'll hold back if Justin, Trevor, or that fucking bitch decides to show their fucking faces."

"Chloe. Discipline." Max placed her hand on my cheek, keeping eye contact. "It's only the first day; it'll get easier."

I shut my eyes, feeling my eyes burn and throat tighten again. I couldn't afford any more trouble. "… I know."

There was only so much I could take. That was a statement I kept repeating in my head. That perfectly summarized how my life was going right now. I felt myself spiraling as people kept throwing things at me when the teacher wasn't looking, hitting and shoving me when I pass, and saying bullshit to me. Everyone had the courage to fuck with me, now that I was helpless.

As everyone went into their classes, I shoved the restroom door open and threw my backpack across the room. I shoved every stall open, checked the space in the far corner, and there was no one else in the room. I paced back and forth, gripping at my hair, wanting to let another scream out before I had to face another person. Break another mirror. Drink until I poisoned myself. Smoke until I couldn't breathe. I wanted it to stop.

I felt pain in my stomach; the pain meds were wearing off. I took the bottle out of my bag and took a handful, drinking half of the water I bought earlier. I tossed the water bottle aside and continued to pace, covering my ears as if I could block the ringing out.

The door opened, cautious and quiet, revealing her. Rachel Amber.

I froze in my spot. I glared right through her.

She took two steps before she realized who I was, and her eyes widened in shock. Her lips parted, as if she was gonna talk.

She looked the same as she always did. Everything done perfectly and properly. Like everyone else, it was like the party never existed.

My blood boiled. My mind raced with contradicting thoughts—to do or not to do. To ignore or say something. Leave—stay—avoid—confront—reason—fight—

I couldn't take it anymore.

I rushed to her, grasping her neck and pressed her against the door, knocking her into it with a loud crash. My grip was tightening, and I could hear her breath getting caught. I could see fear in her eyes as I glared back into hers.

My words were caught in my mouth as I continued to look. She had one hand around my wrist and one hand pushing against my chest. I could feel her breath against my face, it was getting shorter and I could hear her gasping.

My mind caught up and I let go, pushing myself off her. Shock and disbelief set in me, furrowing my eyebrows and becoming scared shitless at what I did. We stood there and I watched her cough and get her air back, her hands against her neck.

What the fuck are you doing, Chloe Price?! You can't even fucking apologize for this shit! She'll tell everyone and then I'll be found fucking dead in the middle of nowhere!

I couldn't leave yet; she was still standing in front of the door. She took one last look at me and, with a weak voice, "I won't tell anyone."

She left before I could say anything back. Shit… She could be lying again… But… god, I wanna believe her. I decided to take my bag and then hide in the furthest stall, hanging it on the door's hook and lifting my legs up to avoid being seen. I pressed my feet against the door, not allowing the door to open.

I have to waste more damn money to go on the fucking bus. Then, I have to walk the rest of the fucking way, just to clean and paint the house again. This shit is real… That whole shit about police fucking you up in the head and taking advantage of that is real. Everybody from that stupid party are only blaming me. Now they're fucking with me because I'm weak as shit now. I nearly fucking killed Rachel Amber just now!

"Where the hell were you going, Rache?" I heard Victoria Chase's voice as she walked in. "We said we would meet here."

"I was just getting a drink first." Her voice was still a little hoarse. "You wanted to meet here. What do you want?"

"Wow, no "thank you, Victoria," after what I did?"

"I didn't ask shit from you, Victoria!" Rachel coughed again. "This was your plan! Why would you target her?!"

"Come on, we all know this tough girl act is all fucking fake! I like getting the worst out of people! And, she's your little servant now! What a plus to this!"

No response.

"She wrecked your fucking house, Rache. This plan is justified."

"And you did it without telling me jack shit. You want me to thank you, for tricking me into throwing this party—not to mention my parents showing up again because they forgot something—just so you could get Chloe Price, someone who didn't give a single fuck about us, almost killed? What would've happened if she didn't show up, huh? Then what?"

"She did show up. That's all I care about. Did you see her? She looks like total shit."

"How do you plan for this to end?! My dad won't listen to anything I say involving her!"

"Oh boo-fucking-hoo, do you like her or something?"

I clenched my jaw at that question. There was too much shit to process. My brain was ready to explode from it all.

The silence was deafening; It even made me grateful for my ringing. What is she thinking about? Why is she taking so long to answer? It shouldn't be a hard answer. Me before this bullshit would've thought she would say "no" right away. But, there we were, quiet and tense.

"I don't have time to talk about everything, Chase." She sighed, heavy and I could hear her leaving. "We'll talk about your sadistic schemes and how much I want to fucking punch you later."

"Feisty." Victoria purred. "I like that. But you'll be thanking me later."

"Whatever." The door opened, but it didn't close. "The worst of her… You really showed the worst of you, too." Then, it slammed shut.

Since there was an hour left until lunch, I snuck out of the school building and then fled to my dorm room. The first thing I did was turn my radio on, raising the volume as a heavy drum beat was playing, then lied down in my bed. I draped my arm over my eyes, trying to focus.

When I get to Amber Manor… where the hell are they gonna make me start? I don't remember how many rooms we got to. I still can't get over what I got into. Everyone fled… I don't remember if I was out for a long time or if the cops let everyone go at the party except for me or… if I was being sabotaged by that bitch, Victoria-fucking-Chase. I have the worst, for sure. What about some people who were questioned? Did they get anything at all? Three-day suspension? Bailed out by their parents? Nothing at all?

I grabbed my hand wrapped in bandages. I shattered that mirror like it was nothing. I was feeling pain there again, a throbbing pain. I never self-harmed like that; I stuck to smoking and drinking for that. I felt so numb in that moment. I hated feeling like this. Not just physically hurting, but emotionally too, and all I wanted was to die and disappear.

I was crazy for showing up to school again. It was freedom for all of these fuckers. "Big bad Chloe Price is a weakling now. We're better than her now. She can't scare me anymore." Make me bleed all you want, but I can't back down, no matter what… Or, at least try not to.

And Justin and Trevor—I couldn't begin to describe how much I wanted to snap their necks right about now. Shut the fuck up, confusing brain! Discipline! No more hurting others! I couldn't get her face out of my head. That was the most fear I've ever seen from anyone. Her? Liking me? It's funny, but I'm so fucking tired of it all, I wanna believe that. The worst out of people… Victoria feeds off of vulnerable people…

My phone buzzed, taking me out of my thoughts.

Fuck off! I don't wanna speak to anyone anymore! I gripped my phone and chucked it at the wall. It made a thump noise, maybe even a small dent, but it wasn't as satisfying as I thought. I fell back in bed; The ringing was somehow overpowering the music. I wanted everything to be over. I wanted silence. I wanted everything to stop. I wanted time to stop.

I wanted to breathe again.

I barely caught the sound of knocking on my door. I turned my music down, all of my muscles began to tense. It was a gentle kind of knocking; I knew who it was right away. I thought I was gonna lash out at the next person who decided to try and help me, but knowing who it was, my stress melted away.

I got up and unlocked the door. I was right—Kate.

"Uh, hey Kate... Sorry for the music." I cleared my throat.

"I don't mind it at all, Chloe." She smiled, warm and friendly. "I'm aware it helps with your tinnitus. I actually heard something over the music. Did you get hurt?"

I chuckled, wanting to refer to my current injuries, but she wasn't one to take sarcastic shit. "I just accidentally dropped something. Don't worry about it."

Max and Kate hung out a lot; I could tell by the suspicious look on her face. It was similar to Max's from earlier. "I'm sorry to say, but I don't believe you."

"You're right." I let my shoulders drop, my eyes staring down at the ground. "Don't be sorry. It's been rough today."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

I was conflicted in that moment. I wasn't sure if it was the right time. After what I did to Rachel Amber, I was afraid of myself and what my stupid, fucked up brain might tell me to do next. I was sweating and shaking, dodging and looking around for an excuse.

Kate reached over and grabbed my hand, a gentle grip that warmed me right away. "We don't have to, Chloe. I'm always available if you ever want to talk, okay?"

"Thanks, Kate." I nodded, though I felt the weight on my shoulders get heavier.

Now was the time. I had the box of cigarettes in my bag still; Kate would love to help in breaking my vices. The devil in me still wanted to hold them close. Not to be dramatic, but at least an angel was in front of me.

"H-hey, um..." I cleared my throat and shut my eyes, trying to find the right words and get them out before I back out. I scratched at the back of my neck, losing myself again.

I dunno if it was lucky or not, but the school bell rang, loud enough for us to hear inside.

"Do you think you could hold that thought?" Kate smiled as she let go of my hand.

"Yeah! Yeah, I'll try to remember it some other time." I was relieved, but I was hurt too. "I can't face anyone else today. I wish I could walk you to your class."

"No worries. Just rest, okay?"

I nodded. I guess the world thinks now isn't a good time.

I watched her leave for a bit before I decided to go back into my room. I turned my music back on and lied down in bed, still feeling heaviness in my head. I still felt more sadness, but tears didn't wanna come out anymore. I clenched my fists and shut my eyes; I needed a little more rest before tonight.

Once school was out and people were leaving, now was my time to leave too. I left without my backpack, keeping only my phone and wallet with me. I hated needing to leave and, as much as I wanted to avoid this as much as possible, I already had a taste of jail and would be better off listening.

I made a mistake to hurt myself with that stupid fucking mirror, but this shit hasn't let me think clearly all fucking day.

"Chloe!" I heard Max as I neared the exit. She was breathing kinda hard and had to bend over a little from how tired she was from running.

"Hey, what's going on with you?" I raised my brow.

"I wanted to see you before you left to Amber Manor."

"Oh, um, thanks? You didn't have to."

"I know, but you've been through enough. The least I could do is send you off."

"Then, thanks, Max."

We started to walk together, other girls pushing and shoving passed me. I was too tired at this point.

"How are you gonna get there?"

"I have enough to pay for the full bus ride... today. Only today."

"You can't ask Joyce?"

"I will another time. Everything's fucked right now."

"Are you sure—"

"Yeah, Max." There was a slight change in tone, raising and slightly irritable, but she didn't seem affected by it. "I'll be okay... At least I won't be around here anymore."

We made it outside the dorm, where more people were glaring and laughing at me. I huffed, shutting my eyes to keep my composure. I've had enough of today. I won't get any more sleep or peace around here. This was what Victoria wanted. And it was working.

"Just remember: this is only the first day. It will get better with time. Text me when you get there, okay?"

"Will do."

Now, I was riding on the public bus with some locals and heading to Sherwood. I watched the sun go down, turning orange and the lights from building turn on. I couldn't distract myself from anything. All I could do was sit and wait.

I'm gonna be alone in the house with her fucking parents. I'm gonna be cleaning and they'll keep food and breaks from me, because according to them and the police, I was the only cause of it. I can't go back and fix it, or even take back what I said... and it makes me feel like shit.

I took my phone out, checking messages or all the social media stuff Max made me download.

Me:
Hey mom, I'm heading to Amber Manor now. I don't know when I'll get back to school, but I'll text you when I do.

I looked around on the bus, looking at all the people: other students, homeless people, businessmen, moms and their kids, and people with groceries. My mom mentioned getting a truck for me; I don't think she'll be doing that anymore.

How is this gonna work? Am I gonna see Amber around the house and not look at each other? I doubt it. She should be at school in her dorm.

I shifted in my seat, leaning on my side against the bus, crossing my arms over my chest.

Did the officer say Amber actually confess about something? It lowered my charges, that's for sure. I still felt fucking angry, pretty fucking furious. My anger moved to Victoria-fucking-Chase, who seems to be the goddamn one instigating all of the shady shit in the Vortex Club. But then everyone else are still dickheads because they go along with it, not stopping each other, so I still hate every single one of them equally!

The bus stopped abruptly, making me get forced forward. It was a stop; People were leaving and people were getting on.

Me:
Hey Max Factor, what's up?

I wasn't expecting a fast answer, but I was barely looking out the window before I felt the vibration again.

Time Maxine:
Hi :) Doing homework with Kate. Are you on the bus to Rachel's house?

Me:
Yeah it's fucking boring

Me:
No emoji are you joking

After I finished typing, Max sent a picture of her and Kate sitting in her room. I could tell because her hipster pictures were behind them.

Time Maxine:
Not sorry :)

Sometimes I think Kate was a lot closer to Max than I was. It wasn't a reach, it was obvious, and I had a feeling their connection was beyond what Max and I have. But, I dunno, Kate was pretty interpersonal and likes being close.

Me:
I would send one back if I didn't look like shit

Me:
I'm on the bus I promise

Time Maxine:
I believe you. How are you feeling?

Me:
Just wanting this to be over. I can't see anything through my right eye anymore, so that'll make this job more fun.

Time Maxine:
:(

I want to toss my phone out the window, but I really needed it for my sanity.

The bus stopped again. I looked outside and, somehow, we were in Sherwood.

I walked the rest of the way; My feet were hurting. I wish I could run away, pretend this never happened, and change my identity. I thought about that before; I wanted to run away from this state. Get away from this school. This town. These people. But, there was so much worth staying for, like my mom, my friends, Two Whales… That was, I guess. So, not so much, but enough.

It was already sunset. How the fuck am I supposed to get two-hundred hours done when I'm spending more time getting here?

Sure, finally seeing the house is a relief, but then I remembered that it had land. Enough land to fit more houses in it, and I have to walk through it. The best thing about it was the grass, although it won't fix how fucked up my feet were.

I reached the door, cracking my neck and using the rest of my strength to hold in my anger. I banged my fist on the door and pushed the doorbell.

I waited, looking at their welcome mat and definitely expensive tables and chairs outside. I flinched when the door opened, expecting Amber, but it wasn't.

It was her dad.

Chapter Text

"You're late, Price."

After all the shit I had to put up with today, I wasn't afraid of this man. In fact, I had no emotions. I think I was switching between full anger and then nothing. And I have a feeling it was gonna last a while. Either way, I wasn't gonna waste my energy on him.

"I have to take the bus." I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing else I could do, Mayor Amber."

He hated me already; I could see it in his face. He looked like how I imagined a man in politics would look like. A generic blue suit, dark blue because that was politics chic, and a red tie with a stupid American flag pin on it—typical political looking man. I had a feeling he would constantly be pissed about anything and everything for no reason. It must be fucking tiring to be around him all the time.

Behind him, his daughter was standing, still in her uniform. Strangely, I didn't feel the same kind of anger when I looked at her. It was still anger, maybe because I still wanted to be stubborn, but I could feel it was a lot less. Maybe from the whole bathroom incident and she was holding her promise. I couldn't read her face; I couldn't tell what she was feeling. I could sense there was something, like sympathy, but it didn't show. Though, when our eyes did meet, she didn't look away. I wasn't sure what feeling it was, maybe from remembering what I did. Right, I feel regret and guilty for doing that to her. I clenched my jaw and turned away, looking at her dad again.

"Figure it out tomorrow! I can't have you working this late!" There was some bite in his words but, still, I felt nothing.

Well, if you'd shut up I could get started. I allowed myself into the house, seeing it in its empty glory, now void of students and crazy amounts of beer. Everything looked expensive with high ceilings, shiny wooden floors, brick in some places for aesthetics, patterned and uncomfortable looking couches and chairs, and just wood everything else. It looked like everything is blending together.

"Rachel, go to the guest room." He placed his hand on her shoulder, pushing her towards the hallway. "Now, you defaced my daughter's room, my basement, and my office, along with its books, furniture, and the rest of the items on the desk."

No, all the shit on your desk was destroyed because a dudebro jock threw me on it. Shit... Did he say Amber's room?

"Here," he handed me a jumpsuit, "to remind you that you're here to work. Make sure you're wearing that when you come here. You'll be starting in the basement, where you will paint the walls again. Chop chop!"

I rolled my eyes and I searched for a bathroom, shutting the door to wear this janitor suit. It was covered in paint stains already and had faded spots, showing its age. They probably had their own janitor; I wouldn't be shocked from the look of it. I looked in the mirror, seeing how bruised my eye was and how this suit fit me perfectly. I shoved my clothes into my backpack and left the bathroom, going to the basement. I was scared to see what it looked like while sober.

Getting to the bottom, it was… fucking horrible. Every wall was covered in every color, layered on and on and dripping down from so much paint, with those phrases I remember with how much we hated everyone, of course Amber specifically, along with crude drawings of dicks. I wish it was just a bad dream or my fucked up mind hallucinating all of it.

Standing for even a second of silence, the noise in my head started. A high-pitched ringing noise in both of my ears. Fucking great. More regrets to add to my never-ending list: going to concerts and blasting my earbuds at the highest level.

There was already beige paint placed here for me, along with the brushes, the tape, and a mask for me to breathe. Although, I would rather huff paint fumes and hope I die from it.

Okay… time to get started. I dropped my bag on the ground.

I grabbed the flathead screwdriver left next to the other stuff to open the paint can, resulting in paint splashing on me. I sighed, but I couldn't be mad or yell. Why the fuck would I get mad at a little bit of paint? I grabbed the mask to cover my mouth and nose, pouring the beige color into the paint pail.

I'm already fucking tired.

I gripped the blue tape and pulled it, starting to cover the edges at the bottom.

This was already awful. My feet were dying, my bruises were painful, I couldn't see in one eye, and I felt like I was slowly losing my mind. But, I just kept using the tape, listening to the sound of the tape ripping.

I felt almost awkward knowing the family was upstairs. The mayor of Sherwood, who would absolutely kill me if he wasn't in political power, was upstairs. Actually, scratch that, I think he would kill me anyway. He seemed like he lied a lot, like any other politician and, I mean this is the rudest way possible, might use his power to get with ladies other than his own wife. I don't feel even a little bit bad about thinking that; the rich were a bunch of fuckwads who think they'll become poor from losing one dollar.

I finished the tape, wiping my forehead after. I used the long paint roller, so I could cover more wall.

Free labor. That's what this is. Even if I wasn't charged with anything, they would get someone to work on this for free anyway. I could smell the paint through my mask. It was some good paint, though, it was covering pretty good. It made me feel better, but I know they'll make me put six layers anyway.

I didn't even know we went into her room. I don't remember what any of these places look at. Seeing this is unreal, feels like a horror movie or a bad nightmare, and I can't believe Justin, Trevor, and I did this. We were high and drunk, though; it's amazing what you could do with shit like that in your system.

I finished one wall already and, although they were still showing through, it was progress. I was sweating and the bruise on my stomach was growing unbearable. But, sadly, I couldn't stop. I heard the door open at the top of the stairs. Fucker is gonna yell at me about how I'm not working "fast enough." I had to clench my teeth and bite down on my tongue. I heard whoever it was walking down. Making the quick decision, I decided on ignoring it, so he would at least be impressed I'm working at all.

I waited to hear a voice. Instead, I heard plastic was placed on the ground then, whoever it was, went back upstairs in a hurry. When I made it halfway on the next wall, I turned around, and there was a single water bottle next to my backpack.

I sighed, pulling my mask down. Gee, how nice of you.

I approached it, expecting it to be opened already and I could see it was poisoned or was gray like tap water, but it wasn't. It was normal—unopened, clear, and brand new. I lifted it and opened it, chugging it down. I didn't realize how thirsty I was; I avoided eating all day today too. I sighed after drinking, seeing I was already nearly done with it. I dropped it on the ground and went back to work, dipping the roller back into the pail again. The only realistic person I could think of to do that was... well, Amber. I didn't feel as much disbelief as I thought I was gonna feel with an idea like that.

In fact, I even smiled a little.

I shook my head out of that thought and painted on the wall again.

Just a couple more hours for me.

"—I'm heading to the office right now. I have some work to discuss my administrative officer." I heard Mayor Amber talking as I opened the door. I saw Amber sitting in the kitchen with him, holding a mug of something hot—there's steam coming out of it—in her hands, in plaid-patterned pajamas and her hair in a pony tail. Mayor Amber turned to me, his face becoming a scowl. "Finished already?"

"I would stay, but I'd rather sleep in my own dorm."

"Are you done completely?"

"No, I got one layer applied." I avoided her eyes at all costs. "I'll hitchhike a ride."

"Good work—"

"Wait, dad." She started speaking up, placing her mug down on the table. Her voice sounded better now, compared to earlier. "It's hella late and, I know you wouldn't truly care, but look, she's beaten up. She could stay somewhere here; we have enough rooms for her to use."

"Are you suggesting we let this hooligan stay in under our roof?!"

Why does this fucker always have to talk like that?

"Yes!" She raised her voice, leaning towards him. "I am! Then, we'll go to school together in the morning. Give her time to think over how she'll get here."

He sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. He made it stupidly obvious that he wanted to say no to her. Though, seeing and hearing her persuasiveness was kinda nice. Did I really just think that? Fuck, I'm so tired.

"Okay." He stood up and went to me, looking directly into my eyes. "You will stay in that room and not come out. You'll be staying for one night and one night only. If I see anything out of place, I will add more fines to your name, understand?"

Again, there was an attempt to be intimidating. And again, I didn't have any energy to care. "Yes, sir."

"There's a room down the second hall at the end, separate from all of us."

I passed through the kitchen, towards the "second hall" he said. I took a split glance at Amber, not sure if she looked back or not. The hall had a whole long window to its right to the backyard, showing me it was dark outside. It was freaky, actually. Anyone could peer into this hallway, unless it was a one-way.

Thanks Amber… I guess you have a heart.

The room was so boring looking compared to the rest of the place. Just beige and white, except for the wooden floor. I shut the door and, luckily, there was a lock on the doorknob. Thankfully, I had my own bathroom. Dropping my bag on the floor again, I went into the bathroom to run the shower. Of course, the shower had to be the fanciest shit in the world, with an all glass shower and fancy, small brick, along with a marble sink. The mirror was long and somehow HD; It made me look more like shit. If I didn't care about what he said, if I still had the energy, I would break this fucking mirror too.

In the meantime, I texted my mom and Max about how I was staying in the house for the night. I wasn't expecting answers, so I tossed it on the bed and went into the shower.

It was hot water right away, but I switched it to cold, feeling goosebumps around me. It was relaxing to me after being stuck in a stuffy, hot room for hours. I just wanted the water, so it was a quick one. I wasn't sure how I was gonna go about pajamas. If I hadn't cleaned out my bag, the old, wrinkled pajamas would still be at the bottom. My bra and underwear will have to do for the night.

I lied down in bed, feeling cold and exhausted, holding my phone to check for messages.

Time Maxine:
How was your first day?

Me :
It was whatever. Just painting a wall for hours.

Me:
Stuck in the house for the night. Wish my luck.

Time  Maxine:
Don't be so dramatic.

I tossed my phone aside again and exhaled. I couldn't sleep in this place. Not only am I gonna stay under this damn roof for a whole night, I have to be in the same car and dropped off at the same school in the morning. I feel like I'm gonna hurl again. The mix of the thought of her, the beer and weed withdrawal, and all of my injuries were making me sick. My injuries didn't hurt to the point I should've went to the hospital after being thrown out again; Motherfuckers didn't want me dead. This time, Amber wasn't a major reason for this sickness anymore. She was the smallest reason.

Am I less angry because of what I did to her? She could've ratted me out, easily, but she didn't. Based on her and her dad, she still hasn't said anything about it. Do I... wanna apologize? She's smart to keep distance... It made me hate the thought of approaching her first.

I heard a knock on the door.

Now what? "Never mind, get back to work"? I curled up slowly and limped to the door, ready to yell at whoever was on the other side. Before I could reach the door, I heard a sigh. Amber.

My heart was racing for some reason. I went up to the door and pressed my ear to it, wondering what she was gonna do. It felt like an eternity standing there, knowing it was only the door separating us.

Then, I heard her walking away. I never thought I would think this: I really wanted to open the door to talk to her. I wouldn't say anything worthwhile; my fat mouth would shit out anger before I could have a normal conversation. I was weighing what to do. Maybe it was because I was tired or still a little out of it, but I put my jumpsuit back on and went out, taking slow steps and sneaking my way over to the kitchen again. As I went on, I could hear her speaking and another voice talking back.

"Victoria fucking Chase, I'm not doing any more shit for you."

"Why are you so fucking uptight all of a sudden?!"

"Chloe Price is stuck in my house because of your stupid plan!"

"You make it sound like a bad thing! God, I'm willing to bet she'll off herself before her hours are up."

"Say that fucking shit again and I'll off you instead."

Holy shit... She's defending me. I pressed my back to the wall and peered over. Her back was turned to me, her arms crossed as one hand held her phone close to her face. I didn't need to see her face to know she was pissed.

"Come on, Rache." Victoria's tone changed. "You've been helping us with this for years and now you'll fucking bail?"

"It was fun in the beginning, Chase..."

I wasn't sure what emotion I was feeling. I think I was hurting, but... why? Damn, so she really is fake? Did I fall for it too? What the fuck is going on? So fucking stupid! How could—

"I'm done using my body to get you shit."

That sentence shot through my body like electricity. It sent a cold shiver down my spine. It was eerie and it could mean anything, but a part of me knew what it meant. Did that mean...

"Rache—"

"No, no..." She exhaled, loud and full of stress. "I'm fucking done." Her voice was cracking and breaking, like she was on the verge of tears.

As I watched her set her phone down, I knew I had to leave. I rushed back to my room and closed the door as quickly, yet gently, as possible. I sighed and pressed my back to the door, sliding down it like I was stressed. Which, in a way, I was.

What the fuck is going on...?

Chapter Text

Pretending I never heard what Amber and Chase were talking about was fucking difficult.

The phrase "I'm done using my body to get you shit" stayed in my brain, burning itself into my memory, her voice and everything. It kept me awake, to be fucking honest. I could've sworn to God that everything was just a little game the Vortex do for fun. In fact, I was almost convinced Rachel didn't rule the school at all.

It was a hard idea to believe in. I believed for so long that she was the fucking bitch that controlled everyone and everything.

I don't think she was at all.

I got up that morning and put my uniform on, even though it was wrinkled to hell. It was five a.m. (a time that seemed to stay by me somehow) and I knew that if we were gonna get to school and to our dorms, it had to be early. I was sore in every joint and felt heavy and stiff, my ankles and knees cracking as I stood from bed.

First of all, I woke up to another water bottle at my door, which I figured out was Amber's doing. I appreciated the gesture that time, wanting to believe it was her doing that out of real kindness.

I was stuck in a vicious cycle of I hate her and you're not so bad. I didn't blame myself; I still had some bullshit left in me to be a punk. Thinking about starting a conversation was making me sick, but I dunno what type of sick. I knew those hateful feelings were gonna take time.

Then again, I had to avoid her because of my charges. Which, I feel like I should ignore that after the restroom incident. It was fair to her.

Still, while I was under her (or her dad's, I guess) roof, I stayed away.

"I didn't sleep at all, Steph." I was walking around my room, holding my phone to my ear and looking from corner to corner. I was done getting ready for the day, even though my clothes were wrinkled as hell from shoving them into my bag.

"Why? Were you afraid of Rachel's dad might sneak in and kill you?" She was laughing, clearly forced. I think she believed that was possible.

"No, uh..." I scratched at the back of my neck. I can't talk about what I heard. I need to tell her about Chase. "I"m still fucking sick and then working just made me feel like shit."

She was up early too, because she couldn't sleep either. But, hers was a better reason: movie marathon.

"Sounds pretty serious."

"It kinda is." I sighed and chuckled; I had to force my laugh too. "But, this is my life now."

"You'll be okay... Hey, by the way, how are you getting to school?"

"I'm riding with... her, in her car. One of her cars. I don't fucking know, but we're gonna go together."

"And you said you can't even talk to her?"

"Nope. Mayor's orders."

"Damn... that's gonna be awkward..."

"Yeah, well, us riding together was her idea."

"See? Rachel's nice!" I could hear Steph's excitement. I guess I sounded a lot pettier and angrier than I thought whenever I talked about her. Damn... maybe I was fucking annoying.

"Yeah..." I mumbled under my breath.

"Huh? I couldn't hear you." Her tone was mocking, so she heard me, she just wanted me to say it again.

"See you at school." I sped through and hung up before she could say anything else.

Sitting in the same car with her, an empty seat between us, it was pretty awkward and annoying me. Felt nice for not paying for a ride and having a comfortable seat to be on. Though, sitting so close to Amber without even looking at each other made me jittery as fuck. Maybe there was a cough or someone clearing their throat once in a while, but that only made it worse.

I knew it was risky, but I turned my head to her. She was looking out the window, avoiding to move at all. She was leaning on her hand and her other hand on her lap, her legs crossed. A small part in me still wanted to hate her. As if the punk in me was still digging for that feeling again but, for the first time ever, I tried to ignore it.

Before I knew it, we were already outside of school. I was genuinely shocked. I think I was distracted from trying to figure everything out. Come on, stupid brain, figure out what to feel. I got out before her, unlocking the door myself, and left. I threw my backpack over my shoulder and went towards the dorms.

"Max!" I called out. She was outside the dorm, taking a picture of the totem pole again. I saw the look of surprise, then turned into a happy smile.

"Chloe!" She put her camera away and jogged towards me. "How was cleaning the house?"

"… Pretty strange, I guess." I huffed, my eyes darting around a little from remembering it. "You won't believe shit."

She crossed her arms, furrowing her eyebrows at me. "Try me."

I chuckled at her expression and went on talking. "So, I finished work a little close to midnight and I was gonna hitchhike back—I know it's bad—to here and guess who saved me?"

"Who?"

"Amber, Max. Rachel Amber convinced her dad to let me stay overnight."

"I believe that!" She slapped my arm, but it was so gentle, it felt like air. "I told you, she's nice!"

Steph said the same thing. "I'm not done yet." I pulled her to the side, away from everyone else, lowering my voice. "A little later after that, I stayed in one of their rooms. She decided to knock and then walked away. I dunno why, but I left the room so I could see what she was doing."

"Chloe! Why would you do that?"

"I dunno I was tired!" I raised my hands defensively. "You can't tell anyone this. Not even your girlfriend. I dunno if I wanna tell her yet."

"Okay?" Max dragged, confused but intrigued. I smirked at her. Not rejecting Kate being your girlfriend, huh, Max?

"There's something going on." I got close to whisper. "Victoria fucking Chase seems to be calling the shots around here."

Max's brow lifted. "Chloe."

"Listen, I overhead Amber and her on the phone and, I don't wanna assume anything, but let me repeat a phrase I heard Amber say."

I whispered it into her ear and, when I pulled away, Max's face was shocked, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. "Holy shit..."

"Do you believe me?"

She paused for a couple of seconds. "To an extent. With that club, it doesn't sound too far off, but... I dunno." It sounded like even she didn't wanna say it.

"Come on, Max—"

"I'm used to you not trusting her, okay? Can you blame me?"

I thought about it. I was fucking annoying. "No, I guess I can't."

"So... how do you feel about her?"

I bit my tongue, remembering Amber's face when I choked her, seeing fear in her eyes. "Um... I don't hate her? My brain still wants to, but I don't think I hate her." I felt weird saying it. I had to start believing it.

"Good." Max placed her hand on my arm. "But, you said you can't talk to her, right?"

"Nope."

Max then smiled, as if in a sly and knowing kind of way. "You're Chloe Price. Are you gonna talk to her anyway?"

I smiled back. "I've been thinking. It feels so weird talking about her so nicely!"

"I like it!"

I rolled my eyes. I think I like it too.

I got through the whole day of school without leaving to tend to my bruises. My black eye and other bruises were turning yellow, slowly but surely. I didn't wanna waste my energy on other people; I wouldn't wanna be angry when I was working in that damn house again.

I was sitting in my last class, Math. I sighed, drawing a person holding a gun at itself in the paper margin of my worksheet. Still, I wanted to disappear for a little, until I was fully healed. It was hard working on painting a place when one hand is still cut up. It was stupid and I cursed at that impulsive reaction. It should be fine now. In fact, mom never asked about the mirror... Maybe she knows and doesn't wanna tell me.

I tapped my finger on my table, interrupting how quiet the room was. Chloe, focus on one thing at a time. I don't even know which thing is the most important one. Everything in my life right now seemed equally important! I dunno if I'm tired or what... I could at least focus on two at once, but which ones?

Justin and Trevor. In fact, I didn't see them today. I never did. The cigarettes in my bag: I need to get rid of them. The house: I need to fix it. Amber.

The school bell rang and everyone got up, packing their bags and running out the door. I was the last one to leave, saying bye to Professor Terry.

"Hey hippy." I caught Max at her locker, shoving books back into her locker. I leaned on the locker next to hers.

"Hey." She smiled on me, shutting her locker closed. "You seem to be feeling better now."

"A little better, if I'm being honest. Can I ask you a stupid question?"

"Sure." She nodded and we started walking together towards the exit doors.

"Where the fuck did Justin and Trevor go? Did they leave the state or something?"

Max had to think about it. I thought it was weird. Justin and Trevor never hung out in other places, so she should know if they were around or not.

"I don't remember if I ever saw them recently. Ever since the party, they've been MIA. I've tried texting Justin, but he never replied. Nobody really wants to talk about that around here. This party really messed this place up. Why?"

That was weird to me. Well, not them missing on campus, but missing in general. The last time I talked to them was when they sent those stupid text messages. "Not shocked to hear that. I thought I was ready to talk to them. Never mind now, I guess."

On our way out, we pass by Amber, Chase, and I think Christensen, another blonde chick in their little posse. Of course, Chase being the bitch she was, had to knock her arm into mine. For someone who was high and mighty about the rich and the peasants, she didn't mind touching and talking to me when she had the chance. I didn't respond. I couldn't give her that satisfaction today.

However, for a small moment, I looked at Amber. There was a noticeable sadness in her face and I knew that she wasn't in on the quick push. Her eyebrows lifted when we made eye contact again; I had a gentle expression when I looked. She may even looked happy after that.

I gave Max an annoyed look and rolled my eyes. She laughed and we went on our way.

I caught up on homework for my classes. After I cleaned my desk of all of its shit, I took out all of the worksheets and worked on them, my radio playing in the background and my phone on silent while it charged on my bedside table.

I had a huge wakeup call from this experience. I still haven't fully wrapped my head around my short prison time. I should've only gotten juvie. It has to be her dad. Her dad must've told the police to put me there instead. I tapped my pencil against a math problem to the beat of the music. I finished all my homework as the sun was about to go down. It had to be a little over half, even. I still had my genius brain in here.

I huffed and got up from my desk. Now's a good time to get dressed and then head to the bus. I need to dig around for change again... and maybe ask Max.

I changed into my janitor suit and dug around my room. So far, I haven't even found enough for a quarter of the way. I huffed and strode to Max's door, banging on it. I didn't have to wait very long as she opened the door and revealed her and Kate inside. Kate waved and I waved back.

"Did I interrupt something?" I saw Kate's position and it seemed like she was lying down until I came by. I didn't hear anything, so they weren't watching a movie or listening to music.

"No, we were just hanging out. Talking about a movie Kate watched recently."

They're totally dating now. I just nodded, not pushing that subject anymore. "I just came by to ask for some cash. I don't have enough for the bus."

"Sure! Let me check." She left the door open and I leaned on the doorframe, wondering what the hell they were actually doing.

"I could lend you some as well, Chloe." Kate got out of Max's bed and went to her backpack.

"You don't need to do that." I stretched my hand out to stop her.

"I'm happy to help you, Chloe, okay? You don't have to pay me back." She grabbed a twenty out of her wallet and handed it to me. "I insist."

I knew I couldn't tell her no anymore, so I took it and put it in my pocket. "Thanks, Kate."

"No problem. I hope you get plenty done today at the Manor."

I groaned, thinking about more standing, more paint fumes, and more ringing in my ears from silence. "I hate thinking about how many hours I have to do it, but thanks." Maybe I learn more about Amber. I dunno how, but I'll try. I don't think they'll let me stay over again.

I pressed my head against the bus window, feeling the vibration through my temple. I watched as we passed buildings and cars. I hope he won't get mad a-fucking-gain. He just might. God fucking damn it.

"Chloe?"

I lifted my head and followed the voice. There wasn't that many people, so it wasn't hard to find who it was. I blinked a couple of times before I said, "Dana?"

"Hey!" She moved seats and sat next to me. "Damn, we never get to talk."

Dana Ward. I didn’t know who she was at first but, after some digging around, I learned she was one of Blackwell's cheerleaders and, from seeing her around, she was in the Vortex Club too. I completely forgot we've had conversations before and, to my shock, she was one of the nice people that came out of that fucking posse. It was shocking because I didn't think anyone could be nice. Hm... ironic. If one person could be nice from there, others could be nice too. Oh Chloe... I can't fucking believe you.

"Well, you're a cheerleader and I've been busy... doing this shit."

"I heard. The whole school is fucking bullshit, am I right?"

"I agree. What are you doing here, though?"

"I am friends with Rachel after all." She nodded. "I'm guessing you're heading there for your work thing."

"Yup. Maybe with you there, her dad won't yell at me for whatever reason. Wait, that doesn't explain why you're going there? Amber just wanted to hang out?"

Dana pressed her lips together, hesitating, and she stiffened a little. "She just wanted someone to talk to other than Victoria. I had cheer practice, so that's why I'm here now."

I hummed, ignoring her hesitation and sudden change in posture. "She's not feeling good nowadays, from what I could tell."

"Oh, she's been down for a while."

"... How long is a while?"

"It's not my place to say that, but she's getting better, if that helps."

I chewed on my cheek, my curiosity was peaked at this point. For what Amber said about her body and now "a while." I was even getting a little nervous; I think I drew blood from biting into my cheek too hard. Something's going on... I really need to find out now. "Only a little bit."

"Good. But... I'm sorry that you have to do this crap."

"It's whatever, Dana. You calmed my nerves, actually." I should ask about Trevor. Or, I could just do that later. I doubt she would wanna talk about that fucker.

She smiled and bumped her arm with mine. "I'm glad."

When we got to the house, Mayor Amber answered the door again, wearing another suit, but in dark gray instead.

"Rachel, take your friend to your room." He raised his voice, then lowered as he looked at me. "I need to speak to you."

Dana gave me a nervous look, leaving right away to wherever Amber was.

"May I help you, sir?" I emphasized "sir," snarky with a hint of poison, as I walked in.

"You listen here," he pointed his finger at me, "I would never do this but, since my daughter can never take no for an answer, I have to say this."

I lifted my eyebrow at him. My heart raced a little at that. But, if it was her, maybe it wasn't bad? I was trying to not think of her as a bad person anymore. Please world, stop making me doubt.

"You're allowed to stay overnight for the entire duration of your service." He sighed, like he was holding his breath the whole time. Does he think he's being held at gun point? "Along with providing you with transportation to and from Blackwell."

I actually smiled at that. "Thanks, uh... tell that to her for me." I walked passed him and went towards the basement.

What the fuck am I feeling right now? I think I'm relieved that I don't need to spend money anymore. Or I get to sleep in that comfortable ass bed again...

Maybe I'm glad that Amber's still proving me wrong about her.

Chapter Text

For the next two weeks, I was going to Amber Manor every day after school and sleeping there at night. For the weekdays, Amber wasn't there, so I could focus on finishing the stupid community service. For now, I wouldn't admit it aloud, but I was disappointed in that. She stopped coming back when her dad let me stay over. She was there on the weekends and she never brought anyone over again.

On weekends, she kept on with the random water bottles, but we still weren't talking. I never followed the rules for this long; It was different now, obviously. I still had it in me to ignore it and just talk to her, apologize for what I did, but there was never a good time. Maybe it was just me, but I felt too awkward doing it first.

My problem was still the fines. Sure, my bruises were nearly gone, my black eye was gone, and I could use my hand again—that was cool, I guess. I've been bumming off Max and my mom (maybe Kate or Steph too, if they persisted) for cash to pay to Mayor Amber directly (I thought I give it to the court or something, but he said to give it to him instead. Suspicious as fuck.) Unless including Amber into the mix was still a "problem." On top of that, Mayor Amber was limiting me all of a sudden with my service hours. I couldn't believe that shit. I think I heard him saying he was considering extending it passed 200 hours! If I heard that right, then I was pissed off.

Right now, I had finally finished painting the walls of the basement (even had to arrange boxes and storage in there aka, the most annoying shit ever). I moved onto the library/office room, where I had to put down all the books myself and repaint some of the bookshelves. "Some" because he bought some new shelves and wanted me to fucking assemble them. If you have to use a fucking ladder to get to your books, you have too fucking many. They had so much dust covering them; I couldn't stop sneezing.

I heard a knock on the window, taking me out of my thoughts. It wasn't an aggressive knock; it was just enough to get my attention.

I looked up and saw Dana in the window. She waved at me and had her same friendly smile again. To be nice, I waved back and returned to putting the shelf together. Wait... Amber isn't here, I don't think. Unless Dana has a key or if I just didn't notice that Amber came. The only people who could have keys were their other workers (gardeners and other people.) I raised my eyebrow at the different possibilities, thinking of any reason she would be here at all.

"Hey Chloe." Dana's voice came up behind me.

I turned and saw her leaning on the door frame. "Hey? How did you get in here?"

She looked confused and had an amused smile on her face. "You do know Rachel's here, right?"

"I guess I was too focused on this shit." I shrugged my shoulders. Damn... Maybe my ringing has gotten so bad that I couldn't hear her anymore. Or it was just Sunday and I wasn't expecting much.

"Is that so? I think you're starting to like it, actually."

"Oh yeah." I chuckled, sarcasm in my tone. "I'm such a masochist. Don't tell anyone."

"Your secret's safe with me." She was sarcastic too and that made us both laugh. "She decided to shower now, so I'll just hang here, if you don't mind."

"Don't mind at all. It's nice having company." I went back to working again, as much as I didn't want to.

"Are you implying that you like Rachel's company?"

I squinted my eyes at her. She had a smug look on her face. I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "No, I'm just saying it's nice having company. Are you guys leaving?"

"Yeah, decided suddenly to go shop at the outlet. That's why she's getting ready right now."

"I bet you guys only get expensive stuff."

"Are you implying that you want to get something for Rachel?"

I sighed and I couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, Dana," I turned to her again, sitting down this time, since I was hurting my knees, "I'm just asking. I'm not implying anything." I could ask her for help... She's the closest person to Amber right now with whatever was going on. "Though... I might have a stupid question."

"Sure." She perked up, her body straightened like she prepared an answer already.

"This is theoretical, by the way. If someone were to choke someone out, you didn't kill them, how would you go about apologizing for it? But like, it's weird because it was a stranger."

She was silent, her face changing and going through about five emotions, before finding an answer. "I don't think you would be able to? Where the hell did that come from?"

"Uh, just something I read in a book recently?" I awkwardly smiled and scratched at my neck. "Don't ask for the title, it didn't stick with me."

"Then, I don't think there's a way to fix that."

She didn't buy that, but I'll just try to convince myself that she might've believed it a little bit. "Thanks, I guess." I returned to working on the shelf. "Have fun at the mall or whatever."

I heard her snicker and could practically picture the smirk on her face. I listened to her footsteps leaving, then it was quiet again.

It was weird to say, but I was strangely happier now. I was hanging with the D&D Club (literally just Max, Steph, and Mikey) or whatever instead. Our campaign was going pretty well, if you ask me. Although, my character, Callamastia, has almost gotten killed in nearly every session (direct action or die). And, maybe it was just me, having no time to smoke any pot or drink has made me more relaxed, somehow. I never thought I would say this, but I hope I never go back to that shit.

"So, how's going to Rachel's house?" I was with Steph in the courtyard in front of the dorm, right after I got out of Amber's car.

"Just painting walls and building bookshelves." I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. I think my hands were getting carpal tunnel or arthritis from it. "He made me organize their basement stuff again in new boxes. Found some weird shit in there. They love expensive shit and just leaving them for whatever reason."

"That happens when you have nothing to do with money. You work fast, dude."

"I need things done, man. Two-hundred hours is a long time and it doesn't help that I rarely get time after school." Maybe even less if he keeps cutting the hours down. "Everything now just makes me feel... different."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I'm not sure yet." I crossed my arms over my chest, still feeling a little bit of my rebellious side wanting to act again. "I mean, I've been wearing my uniform normally and I have straight A's in my classes now. My mom even called to cry about it to me when she got the report card in the mail." I actually really liked the call. It felt nice to have her be proud of me again.

"Things are looking up for you, Chloe." She patted me on the shoulder. "Nothing wrong with a little change. You're still a punk ass to us. Besides, have you even got to skateboarding again since that happening?"

"It's horrible just fucking thinking about it." I shook my head. "Thinking about weed and alcohol too. It makes me feel sick to my stomach."

Steph nodded, understanding how traumatized I was. "Because of that, you're always welcome to our games, Chloe."

I chuckled. "You're a good friend, Steph." And I patted her on the back.

"It's a Natural Twenty! I get to throw a boulder right into the Belgoi's dick and fucking kills it instantly!" I cheered, clapping my hands together loudly.

Steph had to stop the game to get her laughs out, along with Max and Mikey. Shit, I won that. We can get out of this area and into the next one!

We had time to play during lunch, taking up an entire table and using figurines that looked cool as fuck. My character looked so badass, you could have a flamethrower, an army of robot ninjas, and a motherfucking dragon on a leash and she would still kick your ass!

Max turned away from the game, her smile growing bigger. I looked in the same direction and saw Kate passing by on the concrete pathway going to the dorms.

"Guys, you could continue the game without me," Max stood up from her seat and slung her backpack on her shoulder, "I'm gonna go talk to Kate."

Before we could say anything, she jogged over to Kate and stopped her. The three of us watched them hug for a long ass time before walking away together.

"Ten bucks they're dating now." I looked at Steph and Mikey, who were really surprised at what they just saw.

"You can't really bet on something we all agree on." Mikey pushed his glasses up and had a small smile on his face. Mikey North, the smartest fourteen-year-old around here, and little brother of Blackwell's best football player, Drew North. He was similar to Dana, being Drew was always with the shit people in this school, like Dana was with the Vortex Club. But, he was actually pretty cool guy. He was a legit football dude, even said he had scholarships because of it, but he was a nice guy.

Thinking about it now, that's the second person who turned out to be a good person within those cliques... huh.

"That's... very true." I slumped my shoulders. "I guess we're done with our game then."

There I was again, sitting on the floor of Amber Manor's office, surrounded by every book in the room that got covered in paint, and sweating so much from trying to fix up the second bookshelf. A lot of the books couldn't be saved or cleaned; I couldn't ask about whenever I'm buying all of them again or not. I don't wanna give them ideas, if they haven't thought of it yet.

Because it was really fucking quiet, I heard Amber approaching. She was probably gonna place another water bottle for me. Come on, Chloe. Just say anything! Just get the connection started and then we'll go from there! What are you nervous as shit for?! You know, other than the restroom thing... She hasn't proven anything wrong to you. She hasn't given you real reasons to hate her anymore. Anything! But nothing stupid!

I heard her right by the door and leaving a bottle on the ground. Before she could leave, I blurted out, "Sometimes I wanna drink something other than water, you know!" I left a reminder in my head to slap myself in the face later.

I thought I blew it once again. In fact, after this time, I would stop trying. However, I listened to her approaching the door again. There was an awkward and tense silence before I heard a small laugh. I barely heard it and it made my heart skip a little. "Would you like to tell me what you want to drink instead?"

I gulped and kept my eyes on the shelf I was working on. "I'm just saying. But, yeah, I'll let you know."

She hummed. I could tell she was happy. I chewed on my cheek. Okay, it started... but it's still too fucking weird to get the conversation started... She's staring at the back of my head right now, I know it. As I was trying to come up with another thing to say, but I heard her leaving. I kept my mouth shut. Why is your heart racing like this? Shut the fuck up, heart, you're being dramatic as hell!

I kept on with my service, secretly hoping she would say something again. But, as more time passed and another bookshelf done, all she did was set another water bottle down. It was still progress.

I fell into bed when I was done, with a loud plop sound from my entire body. This had to be the most tired I've ever felt. I think I'm actually gonna pass out. Even if I do somehow finish all of this cleaning before the two-hundred hours were up, they'll make me do more fucking work. What they would make me do, I didn't know.

There was knocking on my door again.

I got up, approaching it, wondering if I should open it or just pretend I was asleep again. I took a deep breath. A part of me still couldn't do it. I stood at the door, waiting for her to do something again, just to make sure she was wanting to do this as much as I wanted to. It felt like an eternity, my ringing growing louder, just wanting for something to happen.

She knocked again.

I took a deep breath in and said with as much stability as possible. "Yeah?"

"Oh, you're still awake." She sounded shocked. I guess she was planning on leaving again if I didn't answer.

"Did you need something?" It sounded it way meaner than I intended. That deserved another slap to the face.

"You did say you "wanted to drink something else sometimes," so do you want something else before I get another water bottle?"

I'm never gonna live that down. "No, water is just fine. I'll let you know if I want something else." I sighed. "Some food would be nice." I added sarcastically.

No reply. I heard her leave, her footsteps getting further away, and I waited there until she came back. I rested my back on the door, texting on my phone to Max, Steph, and Mikey. We were in a group chat Max named after a movie she watched, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! She claims it to be the adventuring group name. We just let her have that.

Me:
I spoke to Amber, are you proud of me?

I was looking through my phone until I heard Amber place a plate and a glass on the floor, then leaving. It made me confused for a second. All I wanted was water. I made sure I couldn't hear her anymore before I could open it. Indeed, there was a plate of steak and a side salad on the floor, along with a glass of water. I brought it into my room and placed the plate on my bed and the water on the side table. I was just kidding... Oh god, what if she poisoned it? No! No, Chloe, you're gonna eat this and learn to trust her.

Time Maxine:
:D

Dungeon Master:
She's great, right?

Elamon:
We did say she was cool.

They're rubbing it in my face already?

Me:
I didn't look at her, you nerds. I spoke to her through the door.

I went to eating, trusting everything was good and not messed with, cutting into the steak with the knife and fork she gave me. I think it was medium rare, which feels like a rich person thing to do for some reason. I ate the piece, eating it slow and still hesitating. I… I never tasted something so good in my life. So, this is what being rich is like. Just having good fucking food all the time. I'm sorry, Two Whales Diner, you're still fan-fucking-tastic but… this is amazing.

Time Maxine:
You're making progress!

Dungeon Master:
Better than nothing. We repeat: she's very nice.

And Mikey didn't reply.

Me:
Okay, I get it.

I continued to eat, tasting how well seasoned and juicy the thing was, along with the salad. I'm fucking hungry, holy shit. Or, maybe it's just pretty good. It's so fucking good!

Before I knew it, everything was gone. I finished all the food. I ate it like it was my last meal. I wasn't sure if I wanted seconds or what, but that was fulfilling. I guess I should "joke" around more often. It seems to be working out and I think she likes that? She isn't telling me to follow the rules, so I should be in the clear. Maybe. I dunno! I dunno why I'm second guessing! I left the plate and glass outside my door and went straight to bed.

I felt a lot happier than I should be.

Chapter Text

I think everyone could agree that people have those days where everything just goes to shit.

I thought I was doing good. I was off weed and beer, I wasn't doing anything anymore that was "bad," and I was finally opening up to all the shit I would never open up to.

Yet, there I was, sitting on the floor of my dorm while class was going on. Earlier, when I got on campus, I felt heavy, like a thousand pounds were resting on my shoulders. I couldn't focus. Tired, but I was restless too. I was practically following Amber to the dorms, but I didn't care. The moment I saw my door, I rushed to it and shut myself inside.

What the fuck is going on...? I wanna cry but why? Everything was going fine! What the fuck is wrong? I wanna lie down but I wanna run too... I wanna scream but...

I gripped at my hair, pacing in my room as the ringing grew louder and my vision blurring. I was shaking, all of my muscles quivered under my skin, my heart raced yet it felt so slow. My eyes welled up but nothing came out. My body burned with anger but I couldn't act on it. I was aware of it all.

But, I couldn't react. My insides were screaming to do something, anything, but I still paced, gripping at my hair and scratching at my skin for a reaction. Do something. Do something. Do something. DO FUCKING SOMETHING.

My breathing couldn't catch up with the feeling. I was suffering in the quietness; my ears blocking out everyone getting ready for school.

It lead me here. Sitting on the ground, my back against my bed, lifeless and do something still repeating in my head, a mix feeling of depression and anger storming inside of me. But there was nothing. Every nerve tingled for movement, but I didn't wanna move. Hot tears have finally fallen, but no emotion. I was here.

But it felt like I wasn't.

How long am I gonna sit here?

A memory flashed in front of me. It jolted through me, forcing me conscious. It was dark, loud, somehow familiar to me. I was in darkness again, bright, colorful lights flying through me, the sound of TV static in my ears. No... No, no, no, no, no... It wasn't static.

It was a spray paint can.

Voices started to talk at me, all around me. Mumbling. They were muffled, near and far and side to side, talking at me. "I say, let's wreck this shit."

Justin.

They started to become clear, yelling into my ears.

"Let's go to the next room!"

"What's going on here?!"

RACHEL CAN FUCK OFF FUCK YOU VORTEX SuCK iT AMbeR VORTEX SKANKS

Those words flashed into my vision, burning my eyes. They surrounded me as the sound grew louder. The voices were against me. The sprays were overpowering. I was in that night again. I felt the stuffy, hot rooms. The smell of weed filling my senses. I felt people's bodies when I ran into them.

"This is a special delivery from the Vortex—"

"Chloe! Chloe, listen to me. I'm here."

I tried to catch my breath. I shut my eyes as I felt my body ache. My head was pounding. My stomach was jolting.

"You're having a flashback." The voice penetrated the noises. "It feels real, but it's not happening. You're here, Chloe. Listen to my voice."

My vision was coming back. Blurry, but it was coming back.

"Breathe slowly, Chloe. It's not happening."

I followed their directions. Shaky breaths went in and out of my mouth, my vision returning and revealing the person in front of me.

"I'm going to touch you, okay? Is that... okay with you?"

I clenched my jaw and nodded. My breath was still shaking as I felt their fingertips touch my face. It was gentle and airy, but I could feel their warmth. I feel like I've felt this before... The colors in my room and the person in front of me was getting clearer.

As soon as they were getting clearer, I was drowsy again. I felt exhausted and sleepy. I closed my eyes, missing everything else they said, and drifted away again.

When I woke up again, my throat was dry and I felt like shit, it was a little darker than earlier. I think I passed out. I recognized my room and I was still sitting on the floor. I looked around, making sure everything was real. I took another deep breath as I accepted that I was in my room. I'm in my room for sure.

I turned to my right and my eyes widened at who was sitting there.

Amber.

She was leaning against my bedside table as she slept, her eyebrows furrowed in her sleep. I blinked and pinched myself a little, flinching at the slight pain from the pinch. Okay, this is really real. I wasn't sure what to do. I vaguely remembered what had happened. I did remember hearing someone talking to me.

I shifted in my spot, wondering what to do. I wasn't even mad she got into my room. I remember rushing in here trying to catch my breath again. I scratched the back of my neck as I looked away. I preferred to wait, rather than touch.

Just stay relaxed. Focus on anything else but her. She'll wake up on her own. I guess it's a good time to talk? But how the hell do I start this? Don't tell me I have to start this again. That was a lot of work.

"Hey..." I heard her, yawning after her greeting. "Are you feeling any better?"

I bit my tongue. I wasn't sure where I wanted to start. I didn't know how to answer. "How did you get in here?"

"Your door was unlocked." She replied, hearing her move, seeing her legs cross in the corner of my eye. "I was just... wondering where you were. I know I should leave." She was relaxed and there was no change in her voice. I was sure she wanted to keep me calm.

"What happened to me?" I furrowed my eyebrows, folding my legs to hug my knees. "How... I can't even remember what happened. I had a flashback?"

"Yeah. I saw how scared you looked and," she took a deep breath, "it was just a guess."

"I feel like shit." I coughed, clearing my throat. "How did you know what to do?" There was slight anger in my tone, hiding the sudden tightness I felt in my throat.

"I just had a feeling. After the party and seeing you on your first day back, I knew something wrong was going to happen." I saw her hands fidget on her lap. "I spent hours and hours at night looking up ways to help someone after traumatic experiences."

I gulped. It took a long time for this to happen... I guess everything finally sunk in. I had my irritable moments, but I didn't think about them too much. It was my new normal and my body was just getting all of the bad shit out. How fucking stupid of me to put them off.

She continued after taking another deep breath, "You probably think it was stupid of me to do this. I understand why you would. Researching, coming into your room, staying in here while you slept—Just wasting my time..."

The last part trailed off and her tone changed in a more sad yet annoyed way, as if she was quoting someone who said that.

"Well, you're still in here." I pointed out for her. "Obviously, I don't think you wasted any time."

Silence fell on us. I pressed my lips together, my heart thumping and my ringing was a lot lower than usual. It was comfortable, yet not.

"Hey—"

"I—"

I bit my lip to stop a nervous laugh. I wanted to scream at that; This was tense enough.

"I don't hate you." I finally got that one sentence out. "I stopped hating you weeks ago. I dunno if that means anything."

"No," I saw her jump in her spot, but relaxed again, "No, I'm happy to hear that. I'm glad you didn't care for my dad's "no talking" rule."

"Yeah, well, people don't follow the rules for very long."

I heard her chuckle. "You're right."

"... He'll definitely kill me if he catches us talking to each other." I felt nervous again. I shouldn't be afraid, but I tensed up at the thought of him threatening me with my jail time.

"And then I'll stop him. Just say it was me." She said it nonchalantly.

"Does he just let you do whatever you want?"

"No, I'm just… I just know what to say."

"Yeah... I've seen it before." I cleared my throat again, a tinge of bitterness in my voice. It was a small part of me, minuscule at this point, that hated that trait about her. I was so fucking unpredictable and it was fucking shitty. This is so fucking weird, but it feels nice. "Thanks for... helping me, I guess. Not just for this, um, for the water, the food, staying in your house. All that shit."

"Just... making up for everything. You don't have to say that."

I chewed my cheek. I didn't feel ready to bring up those situations anymore. Everything Amber said surprised me and I wasn't sure what to do about it or say back.

It gave me an idea. Was it stupid? Yeah, kinda, because she was the last person I ever thought I would ask. Since my backpack was nearby, I leaned over to it and dug through it, eventually finding the red box of cigarettes and the lighter. It was still intact, somehow not crushed from all my shit. Like instinct, my hands shook and flinched as I held them.

"I've been meaning to get rid of this shit." I placed it on the floor and slid it to her. "I know it's stupid, but I can't do it for some reason."

I saw her hand reach over and grab it, pulling it towards her. "Yeah, I'll be sure to get rid of it when I leave this room."

Another silence. She didn't get up. This is kinda weird again. But, why don't I want her to leave? I can't even look at her! I might as well keep it up somehow.

"So..." I tapped my fingers on the floor. My eyes were tracing my room from corner to corner. "Do you... always get up early?" That deserves a slap to the face.

She laughed, louder and lighter, genuine happiness in it, "Are you referring to what I think you're referring to?"

"It's just a question! You know, like... Do you?"

"Then, no, that was one of those random times I like to wake up. You just happened to show."

"I don't remember how that went down." That was a lie. I could still kinda picture it in my mind. Stupid brain can't forget seeing her in that goddamn towel...

"I'll believe you." She chuckled again. There was a hint of sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes, but I decided to let a smile grow on my face.

"You're funny, Chloe."

"And you're not so bad, Amber."

My smile wouldn't go away and I had a feeling she was smiling too.

"You stay here today, okay? I'll think of an excuse for you to my dad." She stood up, dusting off her skirt. "And I'm not taking "no" for an answer. Just rest and I'll see you tomorrow, okay, Chloe?"

I just nodded my head, keeping my eyes on the ground. I watched her legs pass and she left my room, gently closing the door.

So... that really happened...

I sat there for a moment before standing up again. My legs were shaky and I got lightheaded, needing to regain my balance again. When I felt stable again, I cautiously opened my door and looked out into the hall, watching Amber walking out towards the school again. Like at her house, I felt like I had to follow and see what she was gonna do. As she left through the door, I kept my distance to give her some time to get further.

I walked out of the building and watched her approach a trashcan, tossing the cigarettes and lighter away.

And she never walked back.

Chapter Text

I think I was running on autopilot since that. I hated listening to Amber and hated how much she was helping me but, if I learned anything from being around her more, arguing with her won't do shit.

I dunno how many days passed since that, but when I woke up and had awareness again, it was almost like I forgot who I was. My memory was foggy and I could only recall some time with Max or Steph. I had no idea if I ever talked to Amber again since that. I don't even remember if I worked at all! All I knew for sure was I was awake again, as much as I didn't wanna be.

My body felt weak and heavy, yet I was ready to be broken. I was groggy and fucking gross as I got up from my bed, screamo music filling the air and blocking out any ringing or yelling schoolgirls outside in the hall. I scratched the back of my neck, swaying my head from side to side to crack and remove some tension. Fuck... I'm still in this damn room. Mayor Amber is gonna fucking kill me... Having no fucking choice, I got up from bed, hearing and feeling my knees crack, and got ready.

6:15 a.m. aka four fucking hours too early.

I wanted to scream about it, but everyone on this damn floor had to be asleep. So, I just stretched, arms up to the ceiling, only to let them fall down again, and jump right back into bed. I grabbed my phone and saw there were a few messages. They were all from Max. I blinked a few times after I let the words on the screen sink in.

They were all encouraging? We're here for you? You're loved? Life is strange but worth every second? I never replied to any of them. I didn't feel like replying to them right now! Were there things I said or did I do anything? Max never really did this before, so...

In fact, when I looked down at my clothes, I was still in my uniform, as if I walked into my room, kicked off my shoes, and then blacked out in bed. What the fuck... I shot up from bed and ran to Max's room, banging on the door. I mumbled "come on" under my breath over and over again until it opened. Before I let her answer, I pushed my way in and slammed the door behind me.

"Chloe—"

"Max, listen, I just got your tex— Kate?" My eyes shot back and forth between them. Max looked normal (as normal as Max could really be) but Kate was definitely wearing Max's shirt. I recognize the Jane shirt from a mile away. It kinda brought my full attention back, but I knew that I couldn't fixated on their gayness right now. She waved her hand, smiling tiredly as she combed her fingers through her hair.

I shook my head and grabbed Max's shoulders, tight enough to dig into her shirt. "Max, I got your texts. What happened to me?"

"Chloe, you're back..." She said in an almost-scared yet relieved tone. "You were unresponsive all week! You were slower, you didn't talk to us, you fell behind on homework, all you did was show and go."

Aka a fucking walking corpse from the sound of it... What the fuck happened to me... Did I have a late reaction again? Did I go into another episode? My body can't even fucking handle itself anymore...

"Shit..." I let my hands fall to my sides again, feeling tons of weight resting on me. "N-Now's not a good time, guys... You two do your little gay thing and I'll just head out. I need to figure this out..."

"Wait, Chloe—"

I left before I heard anymore. I was digging my own hole running like this, but I didn't fucking care. I needed to figure this out for myself first. I slammed my hand on the dorm shower door, letting anyone nearby or inside know that I was awake.

I froze in my spot. Standing in front of the closest sink, clutching her flannel shirt to her body, eyes red yet filled with... anger? She held that expression for a good minute before it softened. "Chloe...?"

"Amber..." I replied back, I nearly copied the same hurt tone she had.

As if she couldn't hold back anymore, she jumped to me, grabbing me into a tight hug. Her arms went around my neck and placed her head on my shoulder, feeling tears soaking through. Not knowing what to do, I let her hold onto me. From the looks of it, she needed more comfort than I did. Eventually, I patted her back, trying to be as comforting as I possibly could.

We stayed that way for what felt like forever. Even I was starting to like it and wanted to stay a little longer. But I hated that we were just standing in the shower room. She quieted down, so I decided to pull away, forcing myself to get a good look at her to figure out how she was feeling.

Other than the typical puffy, red eyes and flushed cheeks, she calmed down. We made eye contact and I felt a weird pang in the pit of my stomach. I cleared my throat and backed away. "I hope those tears weren't for me."

The corner of her mouth raised for a second. "Don't flatter yourself..."

Okay, thank god we were thinking the same thing. That lightened the mood a little bit...

"I dunno about you, but I'd rather not share this in Blackhell's shower room." I kept up with something more lighthearted; there was a little awkwardness in this situation.

"I'm happy to see you... see you awake now."

I was really fucking out of it... I cleared my throat. "What was I like?"

"Just... not you. Max even asked me if I knew and I didn't fucking know!"

I scoffed. We're still in this fucking room. I grabbed her hand and dragged her out, pulling her into my room and slamming the door. "I dunno what's fucking wrong with me! I get beaten nearly to death, I get thrown in jail, clean your house, deal with your dad, figure out what's going on in my head—I'm losing my shit!"

"Relax, Chloe!" She rested her hands on my cheeks, gently touching me. "I won't allow another flashback to happen. Breathe."

I nodded. I didn't wanna fight her off anymore; my body seemed to like this cheek touching thing for whatever fucking reason. "I just wanna yell and scream this out, Amber."

"I know. I'd let you, but we need to keep you relaxed now. I—We need you here." She had to emphasize "we," but I heard her say "I."

"It's fucking hard..." I let my eyes drop and stare at the ground, avoiding her eyes again. "I feel like my feelings just flip flop and it pisses me off!"

"I know, Chloe. You're still adjusting to all of that shit. I doubt you've fully digested all of this yet..."

"That's—" I was pissed but I held my tongue instead. I guess I proved her point just then...

"You're healing, that's all that matters. Shit like this isn't a race."

I nodded again. It was a hard pill to swallow, knowing that this was my reality now. I looked up again and she was looking down, copying me in avoiding more contact than we were already having. As I continued to watch her, her hands started to slide down. I gulped as my eyes decided to go down and land on her neck. I blinked and let my eyes adjust.

Is... Is that a bruise? It was a little dark and I was still coming back, but there was a darker spots on her neck she was trying to cover with her hair. They weren't like hickeys, though. I could see two and they were lined up as if...

Was she getting choked?

"My dumb ass brain doesn't like listening to you..." I mumbled, knowing that had to come out now rather than later. I tried to chuckle to lighten the mood. "I wanna like you, I swear."

"Are you suggesting that you don't like me still?" I could tell she was feeling a little playful. I looked down and let her hands linger at my fingers, loosing holding them.

"I..." I forced a small laugh, the corner of my mouth couldn't help lifting up. "I just said you weren't so bad. Take that however you want." I had to ignore what was on her neck; This wasn't a good time anymore. I had to let this shit pass over.

"Then I'm taking that as "you like me now."

"Whatever, Amber."

We shared a laugh. I'm enjoying her company, that's for sure...

"Wait, shit, what about that stupid community service? I haven't been there, right?" I clenched my jaw and gulped dryly. I looked up for a second and made quick eye contact before looking to the side.

"I handled it, Chloe." She answered quickly. A little too quickly. She rushed through it like it was one word.

I have to look. Come on, Chloe, you have to know what she's feeling.

I sucked in air and turned to her, making sure I was looking into her eyes, making sure she couldn't look away. I shocked her, blinking fast at what I did. Everything became silent then. I could see she was scared. I was relieved it wasn't because of me but, at the same time, I couldn't think of anything that could make her scared. I always thought she was fearless. The fear went away in a second and a smile grew instead.

"You're looking at me." There was genuine, pure happiness.

"Well, yeah! I wanna know how you handled it." I had a little smirk on my face as I decided to step back, walking away to my bed. Did I like that? I think so...

"Just another lie, nothing new." She sounded normal then. "I'm figuring out how to get you out of it completely."

"What?" I felt anger build up again, but I bit my tongue instead. I sat on my bed again. "Get me out—"

"I have my connections, Chloe." She sat in the space next to me. "I've had a couple people come in and do some of the work for you. Plus, my parents have been busy with all that political bullshit. It makes my job easier."

"Who?"

She was honest, so she shouldn't mind telling me. It couldn't be those Vortex meatheads, that's for fucking sure.

She paused for a second, her mouth twitching like she was holding back a smile. She sighed. "Your friends, Chloe."

"Wait—" I was taken aback, awkwardly laughing. "You mean like—"

"Yeah. Max, Steph, even Mikey and Dana pitched in to help. And I may have gotten a thing or two done."

I rolled my eyes. Not out of annoyance, but it was just... not shocking that she would do that. I just sighed and smiled instead. "Thanks, I guess, Amber."

"I just want you to like me." There was a cute smile on her lips as she said that. It was obvious she meant it jokingly.

Wait... Did I just call her cute?

"So, you guys have been to Amber's house?" It was lunchtime, sitting with Max, Steph, and Mikey as they were eating their lunches on the same table we always sit on. I wasn't eating, since my body was feeling a little off.

"Yeah, I couldn't believe how big it was!" Max perked up as she swallowed her drink. "Man, you get to be there every day, I was a little jealous before I remembered you were there because of the law." Her sentence trailed off, shutting herself up with shoving her sandwich into her mouth.

"We've wanted to help you since day one." Mikey nudged his elbow into my arm. "We don't like how and why Rachel needed our help but... we're glad we can offer the help."

"And we're happy that you're closer to Rachel now!" Steph said excitedly, earning nods from Max and Mikey.

"I guess." I shrugged my shoulders.

"You can't lie to us anymore. Or, act like it isn't what it is, at least. We have done everything we can to learn about how to help you if you ever have another attack. And we'll even go with you to Rachel's if you need it."

I snickered, my shoulders bouncing as I lightly push her. "I'll be fine."

There was a small pause in our conversation as they ate. I took a glance at Max and let a smirk lift on my face. "But, I did see Max and Kate earlier in Max's room."

I thought they would know already, but Steph's and Mikey's eyes widened and Max nearly choked on her food.

"Whoa, what!" Steph was laughing hard. I knew well that her gay ass was happy to hear about it. "You finally asked her to be your girlfriend?!"

"Please lower your voi—"

"No! I'm letting the whole world know that you really took my advice and finally asked her!"

"Uh, she did more than take your advice." I wanted to tease her just a little further. It was funny as fuck and I've had an enough talking about me. "I ran in there and Kate was wearing Max's shirt."

"You guys move fast!" Steph was fucking ecstatic about this, leaning over the table to Max. I guess Max and Kate kept them dating a secret.

Max's cheeks were red, but she seemed a little glad that I said it for her. "You were right, Steph."

"You were allowed to be afraid, though." Steph reached her hand to hold Max's wrist. "Even though she was showing signs of having a big crush on you, she still is Christian."

"I know, Steph, but... thank you." Max nodded and then sighed defeatedly. "I owe you breakfast at Two Whales now."

"You bet on this?" I raised my eyebrow. I was actually kinda impressed. Betting was usually my thing.

"I was channeling you, I think." Steph laughed as she untwisted her water bottle. "Plus, I haven't had Two Whales in a while."

"Could that bet extend to me? I want some Two Whales too." I leaned in with a smile on my face, knowing damn well she'll say yes.

"... Okay." She nodded, but she looked at her bag. I think she was worrying for her wallet, but I knew she couldn't say no to me.

"You want me to do what?"

Amber was standing with her arms folded, in the guest room I slept in, letting the sentence "just sleep tonight" sink into my head. I was confused as hell and, even though I didn't wanna work, I was ready to.

"Just sleep. I want you rested and focus on getting better. You'll feel better, I swear by it."

"I mean, I know that, but what if your dad shows up—"

"Do you keep forgetting who you're talking to?" She gave me a playful smile, sly and amused.

"... No." I shook my head and approached the bed, ruining the perfectly flat blanket by falling into it. "Thanks... I guess."

"Just sleep, okay?" She placed her fingers on my chin and lifted my head to look at her, smiling at me.

She's getting pretty bold... "Yeah... I'll try." I gulped, trying not to get hypnotized.

Though, from my angle, I could see the bruises on her neck. There were more. It had to be a hand... It even looks like a whole bruise is wrapping around her neck. She's hiding something and I'm curious but... how fucked up would it be to ask? It's probably just a kink thing or something...

She kept her smile and nodded, dropping her hand and leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

I couldn't help myself. I stood up and followed her out, making sure I stay quiet as I left. I saw flip her hair back again and revealed the same bruises, trying to become purple. She reached into her pocket for her phone as she walked. As she turned into the kitchen, I was at the end and I pressed my back to the wall.

"What do you want, Victoria?"

She became fucking pissed in a second; I was shocked at how quick it happened.

"Victoria, listen to me, I said I was done! I'm fucking over it! I'm tired enough and I work as hard as I can every-fucking-day!"

My heart felt ready to burst at this conversation. Victoria already gave off sadistic vibes... Fucking bitch...

"Yeah, Victoria, I do like her! Just—" She grunted in annoyance. "Leave me the fuck alone!" She cried in anger.

I flinched as I watched something fly full-speed into the wall, a loud bang and shattering glass followed. I kept myself relaxed, letting my eyes adjust at the fact that she just broke her phone. It was broken beyond repair and, knowing she'll pick it up, I had to leave. I rushed as fast as I could, trying to take fast and far steps. Shit, something is going on around here! Victoria is the fucking devil from what I hear now.

"Chloe!" I heard her voice behind me. Damn it...

"I wasn't doing anything, okay?" I raised my hands defensively as I walked back to her. I was nervous as I did. This could be it for me... Maybe I broke her trust. Now I'm the shitty one. And now I'm actually worried about what she thought of me, fucking great—

"I didn't say you did anything." Her answer didn't sound genuine; I felt like she was pretending. We met halfway. "Did you... hear anything?" There was almost a pleading look in her eyes.

Just a little lie couldn't hurt. "No... I heard something crash and was gonna check but... I just left. Felt like a personal thing."

It was quiet again. I waited and waited, wondering what she was gonna say next. My hands were starting to become clammy and my mouth was becoming dry.

Instead of calling me out or becoming angry again, she smiled, even giggled a little.

"What?"

"You're looking at me."

I blinked. What did that mean? I blinked more, trying to piece together her sentence. I spent a whole minute wondering what in the actual fuck she was talking about. She was beginning to laugh under her breath, biting her lip to stop them (it wasn't fucking working.)

You're looking at me.

I realized.

I made eye contact with her and never broke it.

Chapter Text

Amber and I were growing closer. I was realizing she was a lot nicer than I thought. The eye contact was still weird for me and I still tried to avoid it; however, I was at least facing in her direction. I gave it a few days, but now I let her talk to me at school, maybe even looking foward to it sometimes. Of course, Chase still hated me with her entire fucking self, maybe more now. I didn't mind that; I still hated her with a burning passion too.

I had to admit that Amber was helping a lot in keeping myself in a better headspace. Though, I was noticing how she would be down too. With time, I was worrying about her. She was still playful, but there had to be a front she was putting up for me.

Somehow, her parents were always busy (thank fucking God) and rarely ever home. It was always "work-related," which feels really often, but I knew fuck all about politics. I had a weird feeling that it wasn't work. Anyway, because of that, Max, Steph, Mikey, and Dana kept helping with the house. Maybe even to the point I don't really work on it myself anymore. Was I annoyed? Fuck no.

"How are you feeling, Chloe?"

I returned to Earth, blinking a few times as I looked at Dana. Right, Amber isn't here right now. Dana was the only one who had the time to come over and help a little with the house. And by "help," it meant just sitting and talking in the living room. It was a random Wednesday, so there wasn't anything fucking interesting going on.

"Uh, yeah, I'm alright. Just thinking, that's all." I waved it off. Saying "alright" is a lie. I kept saying "I'm getting better" before but that's not what this is. "Thinking about... how Amber and I are now."

"And that means...?" She dragged out "means," like she wanted me to keep going.

"You know, I fucking hated her before." I leaned back onto the couch we were sitting on. "I would've punched her, but... I guess something was stopping me." I shrugged my shoulders, gazing at the ground as I kept thinking about it. I couldn't bring myself to even hate her a little bit. Knowing about her bruises and those suspicious phone calls with Chase, I was convinced that she was being treated a lot worse than I thought. I even think Amber had no power to begin with.

"I'm happy about that! Rachel's a little happier now because you guys are closer!"

I dunno why that bothered me. Dana was vague about Amber and whatever was going on with her. It pissed me off but, at the same time, I knew it was something I should ask Amber about.

"Can you at least tell me a little bit about what's up with Amber?" There was a hint of anger in my voice. It wasn't intentionally; It just couldn't be helped. I was still stuck in the dark, but I've jumped to millions of conclusions already in my head, I had to know something.

"I would love to Chloe, but... It's too serious." She sighed, crossing her legs as she cleared her throat. "It's a heavy thing Rachel carries; It's best to hear it from her. Just know that I would tell you if I could."

I could see in her face that she was truthful and genuinely sad that she couldn't tell me anything. I looked up at her and nodded, "Okay. Can't blame me for trying again."

"I understand where you're coming from! It's nice to see you worrying about her... Old-you wouldn't give a single shit about her still right now. You would've never asked that question." She said it like she was nostalgic about it. "What do you think of the new-you?"

"I... I dunno." I shrugged again, chuckling awkwardly as I rubbed the back of my neck. "I guess I'll say that I can't believe that... It was really me. Like, I acted like that. I thought like that. I hated her and there are times where those beliefs wants to come back. It's the fucking worse..."

"But it's not you, Chloe. She placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Not anymore." She gave me a reassuring smile.

I smiled back, but it fell again. "It was fucking Justin and Trevor who did that, I guess."

"Speaking of them... where... are they?" Dana tilted her head, worry and confusion on her face.

I was about to answer until I really thought about it. "It's like they fell off the face of the Earth or some shit."

"I mean, not like I care! I mean... I'm not too worried, actually." She scoffed, taking her hand off me.

"... Trevor really liked you, you know." I mentioned, nearly forgetting that "important" fact. It was important between the three of us to mess with him.

She paused, then she bitterly smiled and laughed, "I would've said no."

We laughed together, her leaning on me since she laughed harder. I would've won the bet against Justin.

But... they really disappeared. Where in the fuck did they go?

I was sitting in silence in the Amber guest room. Ringing in my ears, but I didn't mind it. For a couple days now (or longer, I wasn't sure), I began just sitting. I would sit and zone out, not remembering what I was thinking about or if I was thinking at all. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. It was like I was in jail again, except not as miserable.

Though, not consistently.

I had my bad days, days where suicidal ideation was all I had on my mind. I didn't tell anyone. I avoided that conversation. I hated that I did hold it in, but I didn't have the courage for it. I spent nights crying myself to sleep with PTSD flashbacks I couldn't bring up. They happened while I was alone, when I couldn't move and felt like the whole world was on me. In a weird way, I was comfortable sitting here, doing nothing.

I was subconsciously reminding myself to live in the present, I think.

I didn't fucking know.

I heard voices.

My eyes shot to my door as my heart pounded and raced. The ringing somehow drowned itself out and I waited to hear something. I got up from bed, approaching my door. I think I'm a little paranoid right now... Maybe I made it up.

Still, with lack of self-control, I left my room, taking long steps going down the long hallway. It was dark outside. I thought it was cool to look at but, it wasn't comforting. Darkness was where I went when I lost myself. But, it was still fucking cool to look at.

"Yeah... offices have been call me left and right. It isn't over yet." That was Mayor Amber. He talked loud as hell.

"Right." That was Amber. "Dad, where's mom?"

"Don't you remember from our phone call? She decided to visit some family. She'll let us know when she'll be back."

"What? Mom is never vague like that."

"She wasn't sure this time!"

It fell silent. I clenched my jaw as I heard walking and heavy sighing, knowing that was her dad. I felt myself freeze up, while my mind was fully aware. It was racing, maybe faster than my heart. Fuck, I can barely breathe...

SMACK

It was loud. It echoed through the house. There was still silence. I stayed frozen, unsure of what to think or what to feel, but I just knew that I couldn't move. What the fuck happened? Did he slap her? Did she slap him? Did I missing something? What is happening in this family?

Muffled voices. With all my strength, I forced myself to hear at least one word. Come on, stupid brain... Pick up any-fucking-thing! This house is fucked and I need to know why!

"You will not talk back to me ever again, do you hear me?! This will not be tolerated in this house! I see you treating that hooligan with kindness! You are prohibited from interacting with her in this house! Do you understand?!"

I felt physically exhausted from getting those words. This motherfucker is power hungry! What the fuck happened in this "political bullshit" or whatever?! This place is fucking crazy! What is going on with Amber?! I was spiraling, two million thoughts a second, my breath stopping, my body trembling for movement.

Move. Move. Move. FUCKING MOVE.

"CHLOE!"

I shot up from bed. Bed, not where I was at all. I felt my forehead and neck going cold as I felt my sweat cool down. I caught my breath, coughing from how dry my throat was. Amber was sitting on the edge, those usually sly eyes now shaking in fear, as if she was wondering if I was ever gonna wake up.

"Shit," I fell back again. It was just a dream...

"I found you in the hallway." She fixed my bangs that were stuck to my forehead.

Wait... It wasn't a dream? No, it had to be! This place couldn't be as messed up as it was in my head!

I turned to her as I shot up, scanning her face and neck for anything suspicious. She was shocked, so much that she had to back up a little. She had strategically covered her neck with her hair and I didn't see a bruise or mark on her face. It could be makeup or... how much time has passed already?

"O-Oh, I thought I wasn't tired... Guess I just passed out over there." I looked away to force a chuckle, but I knew she wasn't buying it.

"Right... Then, are you going to be okay with going to Blackhell?" She had a playful tone in "Blackhell." She was acting pretty happy, but a part of me didn't wanna believe it was real.

"Yeah..." I nodded weakly. "Yeah..."

I was walking like a corpse... but, like an aware corpse. I was groggy and was dragging my feet, but at least I knew where I was. I was aware of Max, Steph, Mikey, and Dana. However, Amber had disappeared again.

"Why don't you just call Rachel by her first name already?" Steph crossed her arms across her chest as we walked together towards the dorms.

"Why? Uh, I dunno actually. It still feels like I'm calling her by her name, I guess. It still sounds like a first name, doesn't it?" Plus, that's like another level of closeness and I'm not there yet.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Steph smirked, snickering a little under her breath.

We heard a group of people behind us. I didn't think much of it at first until I saw Steph stop. I looked back and saw them.

Justin and Trevor.

They didn't look different. In fact, they still dressed like how they were at the party. I think. I tried to blink hard and fast, trying to get myself to believe, to believe, this wasn't happening. I took a couple steps back until Justin grabbed me by the collar.

I froze. I screamed in my head to move but I couldn't.

I was knocked to the ground, a sharp pain shooting through my cheek. No movement. I heard muffled yelling. Chanting. I was screaming in my own head to move but I was lost. It was only darkness to me.

More pain. More pain. More pain.

My face felt destroyed from taking so many hits. I felt every touch. I saw bright, neon lights. My ears were filled with only the sound of chanting. Of yelling. I heard one voice, screaming at the top of her lungs, but no words.

I felt my entire body being held down. My arm was forced down. My hand felt like it was being stepped down with all of their weight. One more yell.

SNAP

Chapter Text

"She's waking up…"

I couldn't recognize that voice. I grumbled, my vision not wanting to clear up. I felt my right arm was stiff and wrapped in a cast, a sling keeping it close to my body. I felt a warm hand move my hair to the side, wanting my attention. I couldn't move anything. My body refused to move. I was shaking as I tried to, so I wasn't paralyzed, at least. What the fuck happened...? My vision still wouldn't clear up.

"Is she coming to...?"

"She is. Can't blame her for not coming back right away."

"She has been out for three days..."

Three... days? I was in a coma for three days? I dunno if anything hurts or if I'm just numb. Wait... Justin and Trevor... Fuck!

I tried to blink fast to fix my vision, eventually making out that mom, Max, Steph, and Mikey were around my hospital bed, waiting for me to respond. All of their faces were a mix of worry and relief. However, Max, Steph, and Mikey were all injured with healing bruises somewhere on their body. Mikey seemed to have gotten the same treatment—his right arm was broken too.

"Can you guys stop staring? You're being creepy…" My throat felt dry and my voice was raspy. Thank fuck I was able to get that out.

They all sighed with smiles on their faces and chuckling. As if they were thinking, "Yeah, she's still Chloe Price."

Mom was on the verge of tears and she approached to give me a loving and close hug. "Thank god, you're finally awake." She pulled away and held my face in her hands, wiping away a tear from my eye with her thumb. I wasn't aware I was crying. "We were all worried sick, wondering if you're ever going to wake up or what."

"Well, I'm here..." The corners of my mouth lifted. I was having conflicting thoughts again. Was I happy that I was still alive? I'm so numb, I couldn't feel anything.

"I'll go tell the doctor you're awake now." Mom got up and left the room. I cleared my throat, still dry and making it a little difficult to breathe.

"What happened to you guys?" I had to ask. They looked as fucked up as I was.

"Unwarranted punches and slaps. Those Vortex girls are a lot tougher than they look." Steph touched her cheek where her purple-and-yellow bruise was. "And Mikey was cornered by those stupid jocks. We were just randomly attacked..."

Shit... This is a part of my fault... They had to go after them too? Why...? "Did anyone else get hurt?"

"Rachel did." Max looked out the door, then back to me. "She has a few bruises and cuts and got her lip busted from this cheerleader that wore a few too many rings."

"Is she here?"

"Yeah, she's sitting outside, they finished her stitches when she got here. Why, do you wanna see her?"

I paused, gazing down at my lap. I felt guilty. Past-me would've been angry at her for pulling me into this mess. But, that wasn't me. That isn't me. I felt bad for pulling her into this. I couldn't imagine how much shit she takes outside of this...

"No." I swallowed hard. "I'm not ready..."

"We understand, Chloe." Max grabbed my hand, a loose a grip holding onto me.

"Wait, start from the beginning again." I had to repeat that for the fourth time. I asked Max, Steph, and Mikey to tell me everything again. I was barely listening earlier when the doctor came in to tell me what happened. After looking in a mirror, my face was back to its bruised glory, even had a missing tooth in the back of my mouth now, and my forearm was broken right down the middle. No clue how long it'll take to heal. Mom wanted to stay but no one could take her shift and she had to go. I felt bad since she had to leave after I finally woke up.

I was still trying to accept that the situation really happened. It was all real. I really saw Justin and Trevor. I was nearly killed by them. They really were hurt and as broken as I was.

"It was like they were on some crazy drug, Chloe! They should've been foaming at the mouth with how insane they looked." Steph was ready to yell but, obviously, we were in a hospital so she was holding back. Though, I would love to see her set off like that. "They had to be on drugs. Those Vortex kids must've created their own messed up concoction and filled them up with it. Or they just took a bunch!"

"It makes sense." Mikey pushed his glasses up, turning to me. "They just disappeared for a long time and to just show up? In that state of sanity? They could've kidnapped them at the party."

"This shit wouldn't line up. They texted me after that stupid party."

"Well, maybe they were genuinely concerned for you, but then they got to them. At this point, anything is possible involving this club."

"What did the school do to them anyway?"

"Police came to the school and arrested them."

"Tackled to the ground and then they were arrested." Max added.

"Yeah," Mikey nodded his head, "I think they were taken to a separate hospital. Like Steph said, their condition looked severe and looked more for a laboratory assistance."

I wanted to feel smug about that, but I did sympathize. The thought of them being drugged against their will didn't feel unrealistic.

We decided to stay quiet this time. We let this fucked up mess sink in. I was thinking about what our next move should be, if we should move at all. Everything was still hurting, so thinking isn't something I wanna do right now.

"Our school is fucked." I broke the silence.

"Agreed." They said at the same time.

Hours felt like millions of fucking years.

"Just sleep, you fucker…" I mumbled to myself. I stared up at the ceiling, hearing the ringing and the sound of loud cracking in my head. I tried sleeping earlier, which worked for a second, only for a nightmare of that assault and the party kept me awake. Nurses kept rushing into my room to check on me. It was fucking unbearable.

Then, barely hearing it at all, there was a light knocking at the door.

"Oh… Hey… Amber." I cleared my throat. Max, Steph, and Mikey had to leave because of the dorm curfew, and my mom was just too busy with work to come back. So, I was alone for hours with only routine meals and check-ups, my thoughts, and lighting only coming from the hallway outside the door. I didn't mind her coming in, except it was just really late.

"Hey." She smiled, approaching my bed. "I'm still here for monitoring. I wanted to stop by." Looking closer, her lip really was busted, with a lot of stitches. Monitoring? Monitoring for what?

"Thanks." I smiled at her. "Those cheerleaders got you pretty good, huh?"

"Please, I handled that just fine." She waved it off. She still acted tough and laughing, but she couldn't hide from me anymore. We had to be thinking about this fucked situation and why us. Plus, I've seen enough enough bruises on her and heard enough—she wasn't fine.

I took a deep breath, "I-I'm sorry."

She was taken aback. She stayed quiet, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to find the words. Hell, it made me more and more nervous the longer she didn't say anything.

Confusion covered her face as she took in what I just said. "For what?"

"For this." I looked around the hospital room. "All of this. Maybe if I hadn't showed up at your place, none of this would be happening right now."

"Stop it, don't blame yourself for any of this. I'm not pissed at you, not even a little bit." She leaned towards me, care and tenderness in her gaze. "Without this... we wouldn't be this close now."

I appreciated her for finding any fucking positivity in all of this, but it just wasn't enough. It was kinda frustrating. As if, I actually wanted her to be pissed at me. I wanted her to yell and actually feel anger towards me. Maybe in a way, I was becoming sick of her and holding back something from me. I bit my tongue; The last thing this hospital needed was a screaming fight in one of its rooms.

"I…" I sighed and cleared my throat. "I haven't been able to sleep yet."

She nodded, looking down at my lap. "It's not going to happen right away. I can't imagine all that shit you went through. I wish I could help you with everything, but… I brought you something." She reached into her back pocket, taking out an iPod and earphones. "It can't help you completely, but I know this could be a little bit. I was spending a lot of time putting songs into this thing at home. Do you mind?" She held the earphones, leaning just a little bit more.

Without saying anything back, I leaned towards her, and she put them in for me. When it played the first song, it was already the loud, rock and screamo music I liked. It helped with one problem, at least. She actually put this together for me. She cared enough to do this...

"You must really like me." I rested my head back on my pillow. I wasn't sure how loud or quiet I was. I hope she didn't hear it at all.

"Chloe Price, you're a lot likable than you think. When you hated me and would rather punch the shit out of me... I still wanted to know you." Even with a smile on her face, she was sad. She looked like she was about to say something else, but instead, she just sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

I think I was delusional from all the pain medication they gave me. I wanted her to stay. I wanted her to be here with me. I didn't wanna say those words. But… I couldn't relax.

I grabbed her hand, holding it tight. "Please stay…"

She smiled and pulled up a seat, sitting by my bed. "I didn't want to leave anyway."

We were probably gonna get in trouble, but I didn't fucking care. I had to admit to myself that being with her made me feel good, feel better, and I had to accept that. I had to stop rejecting it, force those negative thoughts about her away, because she was good. She meant good. She only meant good.

I had to get to the bottom of whatever was happening. Where do I even start? Her bruises from before this? Her phone calls with Chase? The school? The Vortex Club? What happened with Justin and Trevor? Her dad? He had to be hiding something, right?

I saw Amber's head was already down and she seemed to be sleeping already. I even smiled at the sight, seeing her so... peaceful. I decided I had to sleep too.

And I've never slept better.

Chapter Text

Two fucking months…

Two months passed. My arm was fully healed, the Amber Mansion was back in its perfect condition pre-Vortex sabotage party, and Amber and I were pretty close now.

Never thought that shit would ever happen.

With the help of Max, Steph, Mikey, and Amber, I didn't fix another goddamn thing in that house. We mostly hung out there, even with the long travel, it really was fun to be around her the longer we knew each other.

The mansion was out of the way, my body was fully healed (fucking finally), Justin and Trevor were found guilty and were in juvie, and, as corny as it sounded, my relationship with everyone I knew was way fucking better and my grades were back in the high A's my mom wanted them at.

Well, I had to start seeing a therapist, too. I hated that, never thought I would go, but I had to every Friday. I didn't need someone to tell me I had PTSD. I hadn't even experienced any insane episodes since that one time. I had my moments where my anger was worse, and I had nightmares once in a while. Beer and weed still brought back bad memories and just the sight of it made me fucking sick.

I never thought I would say it but… I felt better this way.

But now there were more fucking questions.

Sometime between my hospital stay and now, Mayor Amber just went fucking MIA.

Like, that guy just went poof.

Disappeared.

Gone.

Not like it bothered me, I couldn't care less! Nobody came after me when I never paid my debt since then, so I didn't care. But he was still Amber's dad, so I did ask her how she was doing with him gone.

She didn't give a shit either.

I didn't know how to feel about that. Her dad was an entire asshole, but I expected her to care a little bit. One telling thing was she was healed too; I never saw another bruise on her again.

Second, those Vortex shitheads just stopped.

They avoided us. We saw them around school, annoying me with their existence, but they never paid any attention ever again. I wouldn't give a fuck before, but it was weird as shit now. I needed a reason why. Why, just all of a sudden, did they stop messing with us? I had to let Dana know, but… she went missing too. Amber was especially sad about that. Her closest friend from that fucked up club… gone. She showed she was mad, but she was definitely crying more than fuming. Dana went missing and no one talked about it.

"Something on your mind?" Amber hung a French fry in front of my face.

We were in Two Whales, Amber wanted to eat lunch together, her treat. I shrugged and opened my mouth, chewing on the fry, "We need to figure out what's going on with those Vortex freaks."

She grabbed another fry and dipped it into ketchup, feeding that one to me, "It's hella weird, isn't it?"

"I'm ecstatic you're away from those fuckers, but why did it just stop?!" I slammed my fist on the table, making the trays bounce. "And your dad, remember?"

"Yeah," she nodded, grabbing her burger, as if she didn't care, "And my mom decided to leave, so something fucking weird is going on…"

It was literally yesterday. I heard Amber's mom say something like how she decided to go live somewhere else and how she'll never come back. Based on guessing, she wasn't in Arcadia Bay, or even in the state anymore. Amber had the house to herself. It sounded cool, if only Amber wasn't a lonely person.

From observing and being with her more, she had her moments that made it clear that she never had a lot of company. Or, she did but, clearly, it wasn't good company.

Amber's mom's phone wasn't registered anymore, and contact was cut completely off, leaving Amber by herself.

I sipped some of my soda, thinking about my, or our, first move. It was confusing and I didn't know where to start! It was like no matter where I choose to go first, it'd be the wrong move. But this has to be it…

"I'm thinking about going out to the detention center to see Justin and Trevor."

Amber raised her eyebrows, "Do you think they'll know something?"

"I dunno where the hell else to start." I shrugged my shoulders, "Plus, they're one of the reasons I ended up at your party. It doesn't hurt to start there."

I had to remember who Justin and Trevor were—they were my friends. I knew them long enough to know that they were just two skaters who smoked a lot of fucking weed and cared about fuck all. They didn't care about Vortex and we all went to Amber's house for the same reason.

I'll probably get nothing at all out of them, but… it's worth a shot.

I took the bus, alone, to the juvenile detention center. I kind of hated to leave Amber, she didn't want to stay either, but she wasn't directly involved with any of this bullshit. I still used the iPod she gave to me, listening to the same hundreds of songs she placed in it (my ears were fucked, but it was a nice gift), staring out the window at the passing trees.

I have to keep my cool. This is important and, with all this damn progress I've made with my health, I couldn't retreat back to that. I can't be that Chloe Price anymore.

Thank fuck it wasn't a long trip. I got off that bus as soon as I saw the building, shoving my hands into my jacket pockets as I walked towards it. It was cold as shit now; my breath was foggy as I exhaled out of my mouth.

I arrived as soon as visitation started. After doing all that signing in shit, I was allowed into the visitation area, sitting in one of the benches while other families met with their kids around me.

In all khaki, hair still long as shit, Justin walked through the door with an officer. I stood up and, as if none of those fucked up months ever happened, we did our handshake and smiled seeing each other again.

"Man, am I glad to see you." Justin said as we sat down.

"I see you're doing alright in here."

"It's just sleep, eat, do nothing, and then repeat. I'm just chilling."

"Yeah, I know how you feel."

I still thought about those hellish three days. Too fucking much, actually. The pain I had to sit through, the drugs trying to leave me, the thoughts flooding my head, just the fucking confusion I was forced to sit through for three days. As much as I hated it (and how horrific it was), it was time for me to admit that I needed it.

"Hey dude, I think it's overdue with, um…" He looked away, crossing his arms. "I don't remember any of it, but I still feel like shit for whatever the hell happened. Like breaking the shit out of your arm."

I bit my tongue; my past self's bitterness nearly came out. I would've smacked the life out of him before. But now, I didn't even like the thought.

"It's… not your fault." I said through a sigh, keeping my eyes on him. "Look, maybe this could explain something, but I need you to remember anything before that fucking thing at school happened."

"I wish I could tell you something! I swear to God, dude, I can't remember anything."

I sighed, closing my eyes. Of course, he didn't. I'm too desperate for answers and there was no way in hell he could remember any shit. Not his fault. I can't be mad at him, as much as I wanna be.

Reluctant, I said, "Right, I expected, but it didn't hurt to try. It's okay—"

"Except," he shifted in his seat, shuddering, "I remember getting stabbed with so many damn needles."

"What?"

He scoffed, "Yeah… Like, fucking anywhere it could go! I remember being smacked around, too. It had to be from these Vortex jocks and that had to be—"

"Drugs. Crazy, crazy number of drugs."

"Probably…" He nodded.

"Is Trevor here? Maybe he could remember something?"

His expression dropped, slumping in his seat as he sighed, "I hate to say this. I never thought I would say this, but…"

I waited. My legs bounced as I did, a hundred different answers racing through my mind as Justin stayed quiet. I would've blurted him to spit it out or something an asshole would do, but I bit my tongue to stop it. My impatience was wearing thin fast.

"I never really saw him again here. You know we both came here, but… apparently, some guy he used to hang with was here too and I guess Trevor owed him money. There was a whole fight about it outside. Dude's been gone for a month, Chloe," Justin turned to me, looking me dead in my eyes, "That guy beat the shit out of Trevor. In front of everybody."

I knew right away what that meant. Justin would've just said he was just transferred or was just in a hospital, but no.

Trevor was dead.

"Holy shit…" I breathed out.

"Yeah… It's weird, you know? We joked a lot, but I really thought I was going out first because I was the one doing the stupidest shit. It's weird walking around and he's like… not here."

"I bet…" I nodded, "I dunno what to say."

"Me neither. Nobody was letting me through to get to him, man! And the," Justin saw the guard watching him, turning to me again with angry whispering, "and the guards didn't do shit."

"Not surprised," I scoffed, "Police never does shit to help anyone unless you're privileged."

"Yeah, so… he probably remembered something, but we'll never know."

"Shit… Thanks anyway, though, Justin."

"Hey, if it wasn't for whatever happened, I would've had your back."

I nodded. He only means well. Those Vortex dumbasses… They know something. "I'll let you know what happens. I'm getting to the bottom of this."

I paced around in my room. Never thought I'd ever see this bitch clean, but everyone told me having a clean space makes you a happier person. Whatever, but maybe it was working.

Hurry the fuck up… I looked at my clock nearing five in the morning. As soon it was ten before, I left, nearly ripping my door off as I stomped through the hallway, shoving the bathroom door open.

Chase was standing in front of one of the mirrors, fixing her hair.

"Oh, well, if it isn't—"

I grabbed her by her neck, shoving her into the furthest wall. "You listen here, and you listen close, Chase!" For the first time, I never thought I'd see real fear in her eyes. "I don't know what the fuck happened with your stupid club, what the fuck happened to Dana, what the fuck you did to Amber's dad, what the fuck you did to Amber, but I need answers and I need them now!"

I squeezed tighter as an angry expression started showing on her face. She raised her leg and kicked me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me. I flew back, bending over and coughing hard.

Hold it together… That felt too familiar… This fucking bitch.

I felt myself faltering. My knees nearly gave out. My mind was going hazy. I was close to falling into panic attack or flashback… Fucking hell.

"Don't put your grubby hands on me ever again, bitch!" Chase dusted off her robe, releasing a disgusted grunt. "You hate me and now you want my attention?! Ugh, go to hell!"

I grabbed her again, forcing her into the wall, "You owe me a ton of fucking things, Chase! Where the fuck is Dana and what did you do to Amber?!"

Chase just smirked. It made my blood fucking boil. She sighed in a pleased, wicked way, "Dana just had to leave. She didn't need to tell you where she's going. She just needed to go. And of course you care about that little whore—"

I punched her cheek, feeling and hearing a crack against my knuckles, sending her flying to the tiled floor. She groaned, but then cackled, "You'll see, Price…"

I stared at her for a moment, letting her words sink in, before I rushed out the bathroom, huffing and trying to block her words out.

Shit! Fuck, what the fuck is happening?! I thought I started somewhere! Look where it led me! This?!

I slammed my door and jumped into bed, groaning. No class today. This fucking sucks…

Chapter Text

I learned nothing from that confrontation. I wasted my fucking time! Stupid brain, don't fucking listen to her! You can trust Amber… You can trust her!

I slapped my cheek and groaned into my pillow. It was stupid; I could trust Amber. All Chase did was lie and make people miserable. She got off on that shit, I swear to god!

Don't overthink. Deep breaths… Talk to Amber later.

I didn't get any more sleep after that. I just got ready for school and met up with Max, Kate, Steph, and Mikey in front of the school.

"Good morning, Chloe." Kate greeted first with a warm smile. She was holding Max's arm, warming my heart. It was still way too cutesy—the shit hurt my teeth.

"Hey." I nodded at her. "So, I confronted Chase."

"How was that?" It wasn't too visible, but she had a surprised expression.

"It was a waste of fucking time." I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. "I think I broke her face or something. Felt something break when I punched her."

"Chloe! What did we say about fighting?!"

"I did it for good reason! All I asked was what happened to Dana and what they did to Amber! And other shit, but those two are the ones I really care about. And guess what?! She said fuck all!"

"Not surprising from her," Steph rolled her eyes. "She's never the type to be honest."

"She usually spoke in ways to lean in her favor." Mikey added.

"She said something about Amber, though…" I cleared my throat, hearing that annoying, little voice in the back of my head to believe her. It's fucking Chase! I shouldn't believe anything she says! "I need to speak to Amber later about that shit. Those fuckers did something to Amber."

"You don't honestly believe her," Steph had a smile, but it fell as she saw my angry expression, "do you?"

"It…" I sighed, "It doesn't hurt to ask…"

"Chloe—"

"I can't help it! I've wanted to ask Amber anyway! Dana hinted that something was up with her but only told me 'it's better to hear it from her'. I have to ask."

"Like right away?"

"Fu—" I was ready to burst 'fucking yeah', but from the sounds of it, it was touchy. In fact, I could probably do more harm than good if I were to ask her so soon. I really wanna know…

I was expecting Amber any time. She wasn't hard to find. Plus, she usually came up to me.

But she wasn't anywhere to be found. I searched for her every passing period, I practically ran around during lunch, I went around one more time after school.

She was nowhere to be found during school.

I was losing my shit. Where the hell could she be…?

I made one more round on the campus before I neared the girls' dorm's front door. I saw Chase and her minions blocking the entrance. I'd march up there, but after that bathroom fuck up, I couldn't just mosey my damn self there.

Luck was by me, I hid against the wall, close to the edge, just close enough to hear whatever they were saying.

"She was asking about Dana?" Sounded like Christensen.

Chase groaned, "Yeah. Whatever you do, don't tell her anything."

"But… you killed—"

"Jesus Christ, Taylor!"

"I'm just saying! You know, they were friends too!"

"Dana wasn't a part of it! She didn't know any of it! And then she walked into the damn club room—she had to go!"

I think I'm gonna barf… Holy shit…

I had to get out of there. I backed up a little before I made a break for it, knowing damn well Max was still in the Photography classroom.

I was running like a maniac as I busted through the school doors again, not caring for the other students still in the hallway. I was breathing hard as I took sharp turns, finally finding that photo nerd talking to her girlfriend by the Photography room.

"Chloe—" Max was instantly panicked.

"Guys!" I pulled them into the room and shut the door, locking it. Thank god, no one was inside. "You're not gonna believe what I fucking heard!"

"What happened?!"

"I overheard those Vortex bitches by the dorm! Guys," I took a deep breath, then lowered my voice, "they killed Dana…"

"What…?" I barely heard Max. Kate placed her hand on her back, looking at me and her with concern.

"Christensen said it… Chase was so casual about it…"

"Let's sit down…" Kate suggested and held my hand, gently taking us to the nearest table. "You're sure that was what you heard?"

"Yes! I—I heard it clearly and Chase stopped her, so obviously they didn't want any-fucking-one to know! Dana didn't know any of that shit!"

My heavy breathing was the only thing filling the room's silence. I can't even wrap my fucking head around that.

"W—Well," Max placed her hand on my shoulder, "at least you're a step closer to what happened…"

"That wasn't what I wanted to hear, but you're right…"

Just find Amber. I've had enough of this shit! I have to know what happened to her in that club.

Chapter Text

I had to take a fucking breather after that bomb.

It made me sick to my stomach; I wanted to vomit all of my organs after that bullshit. I told Steph and Mikey about it and they couldn't believe it either. It messed with my head for a lot longer than it should, but how in the fuck do you move on to the next step after hearing that, not just one but, two of my friends were dead?

Amber was still missing.

I didn't have a bad feeling, but those two things and then her being missing, I'd be a liar if I said I didn't think the worst. She just had to be at home. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing? That big house? All to herself? Sounded like a dream if she wasn't going through so much shit…

But this wasn't the fucking time to sit around.

"Hey." I grabbed Max's, Kate's, Steph's, and Mikey's attention, watching their heads turn to me. It was after school and I was with them in the courtyard under a big tree as they were working through their campaign. I didn't feel like playing anymore, so they killed my character off and went on with their adventure.

"I'm gonna head to Amber Manor today… do you guys wanna come with?"

They all shared a look with each other, wordlessly deliberating. I tapped my fingers on the table, waiting for them.

"It should be just you, Chloe," Steph said, the others nodding in agreement. "She trusts you the most and I think she'll be happy to see you by yourself."

"Right. I hope she'll tell me something. Anything! Dana always told me there were things Amber had to tell me about herself because they were 'too personal.'" I sighed, scratching the back of my head. "I don't want to force it out of her…"

"She should know that this is a vital time for honesty. I'm sure she'll tell you."

I wanna believe she trusts me a lot. I hope Steph's right.

What am I so nervous for?

I was able to get the late bus, only me, an old-looking nurse, and what could be a college guy. I stared out the window as the music from my iPod blared into my ears. Her house should've been the first place I looked! Maybe she already knew. Like, Chase fucking called or whatever and told her without warning. Fuck… she was the fucking worst.

After leaving the bus, I walked all the way over, not caring how badly my feet hurt from all that walking. It sounds cheesy, but… she was worth the trip.

I walked through the grass and went up to her door, ringing it a few times. I would've rung it over and over until I annoyed her, but I wouldn't want to be annoyed at this damn hour if I was in her shoes.

It took a while, maybe fifteen minutes, before I heard the door start unlocking.

Amber was on the other side, wearing baggy clothes with dark circles and bag under her eyes. They widened when we made eye contact.

"Hey Amber," I took my earphones out, "I was looking all over for you and figured you were here after all."

She chuckled, leaning on her door, "Well, you found me. Come in."

If I wasn't nervous before, now I could throw up everything in my stomach about now. I knew this house and all of its rooms, but I still followed her. It would've been awkward as shit if I walked next to her in this silence.

Her room had a lot of space. Not to make a double meaning, but her room was big as hell and she had a lot of space-themed stuff in it. I shouldn't be shocked that she had her starry night projector on, covering her room in blue stars, but I was anyway. It was pretty.

"I'm guessing you heard about Dana…?" I regretted it as soon as I said it. Shit… that was too direct.

"Yup…" Amber got into her bed. "Want to lie down with me?"

"Uh… Sure, I guess." I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't have anything to lose and Amber looked like she needed someone close.

As I got in, I left enough space for another person to fit in between us.

"She sent a picture…" Amber sniffled, keeping her voice steady.

What the fuck. I already knew Chase was a cruel bitch, but what in the fuck!

"I can't open my phone right now. The moment I open it, it'll be there."

"You just secluded yourself here?"

"I'm used to dealing with things alone; It was just a habit." Amber turned on her side towards me. "Don't worry, though. I'm happy you're here."

I sighed, staring up at the ceiling, "I hate to ask you anything about you and serious shit right now, but—"

"It's fine, Chloe."

I was taken aback by that response. Amber looked like she hadn't slept in years and I couldn't imagine how she felt.

"Everything I'll say will help you in this shitshow. Fuck, I think it could solve everything…"

I moved a little closer towards her and I saw the distant, sad look in her eyes. There was a little smile after a second. Amber always showed she appreciated how much I was allowing her to be close to me. That time I hated her with all of my being… it felt so fake now.

"I asked Dana about you before. She said something about you being down for a while. To ask you about it instead."

Amber sighed, her smile falling and clearing her throat as quietly as she could, "My life's always been shit." She chuckled, full of pity. "I knew that night that you heard my dad hit me. When he yelled at me. I knew you saw the bruises he left on me from hitting or choking me."

I reached over and held her hand. It helped me in the hospital. I think she'll like it too.

She smiled for a second before she continued, "That woman isn't my real mom. I found out when I was, maybe… ten?... when I found one of the letters my real mom sent to me. I decided to write back with my ten-year-old writing and I actually went out alone to see her. I secretly met with her for months. I felt so much closer to her than my dad and his wife." She squeezed my hand. "And then he found out. My dad yelled and beat me until I told him the truth…" She forced a laugh, "My mom was good at sneaking around, so she was lucky that my dad didn't do anything to her. I still went to see her anyway. She told me everything. My dad was abusive to her too. When she fell pregnant with me, he was suddenly nice. Everything was fine until I was born. I wasn't even a week old that he snuck drugs into her possession, had her arrested and put a restraining order."

She squeezed my hand tighter. I could tell, even in near darkness, she was ready to cry. "Those letters were sent while she was in jail for something she didn't do. She always asked how I was doing, how she missed me… All she wanted to be was my mom, but my dad hated her so much." She shuffled closer and decided to hug my arm instead, pressing her cheek on my shoulder. She needed it more than anything. "My dad decided to abuse me too. On top of sneaking out, I started to look a lot like my mom, and I guess I reminded him so much of her that he can't help it. He used to treat me like his princess and always wanted me happy… I had my moments that I could fight back and he'd listen, but it made it so much worse. I took so many beatings just to get a little of my way. He acted a little nicer in front of you those times, so he didn't look bad. Or, as bad."

"That was nicer?"

I didn't mean to sound so weirded out, but he was annoying enough.

"Yeah… It was. And then, going into high school, I met Victoria and Dana and that entire club… You know, men always liked me, and Victoria wanted to take—" She took a deep breath, "take advantage of it. I fucked so many dealers for drugs…"

"I'm done using my body to get you shit…" She used herself to get what they wanted.

"I was okay with it. I was sick of the abuse at home, I got to feel good for half an hour, and I earned praise from the club… How could I refuse?"

I felt my shirt was becoming wet and she was sniffling, shivering and trying not to cry. I turned to her, using my thumbs to dry her tears. She looks so… broken.

"I had to start taking drugs myself to get through another… and another… and another… I don't remember a lot of them. All I wanted was those drugs and then those good words from Victoria. Dana was the one that finally called it out and stuck by me. She helped me and let me talk with her about all of this. She knew everything that was happening to me. She knew I was taking so much just for a small amount of approval. It kept going, just a little less…"

I stayed silent as she moved closer. I couldn't help it; I hugged her tight. She felt so small and fragile, trembling in my arms like she had somehow become that terrified little kid that just wanted love again.

"I hated how you got stuck here with me, but it genuinely made me feel better… I tried and tried to get you to hate me less. I felt better when you were here, when we started talking more, and being able to be closer to you… I felt better again."

"That night I was able to stop it, stop being their little drug girl… I felt free. Like I was able to escape my cage and finally rest better without worrying about them asking me again."

It went silent. Not like I cared. I preferred it after all of that information I had to sink in.

"To see that photo… God, I don't know what to think. What to feel. How to recover." Amber dried her face with her sleeves. "She just… torments me because she likes it… She saw a pretty face and thought, 'Let's destroy it'." She tiredly chuckled, airy and blue, "She knows now that I was already broken to begin with."

I could tell Amber was exhausted. Of course, I wanted to hear more, but seeing her like this, putting up with her dad's abuse, Chase and the club's abuse, and now her parents abandoning her and losing her closest friend… all she needed was rest.

I feel like shit for hating her in the first place. Fuck, Chloe! She was going through enough! If I had known sooner… That club really made me believe she had all the power and charm. That she got everything she ever wanted. She didn't have anything… She never did.

"I've heard enough." I spoke quietly, hoping it'll ease her to sleep.

"I'm not done yet—"

"I can tell you're tired. Just sleep. You deserve all the rest in the world."

Amber giggled lowly, leaning more genuine and lifted, "You must really like me."

I just chuckled in response. Of course, she had to remind me of her hospital visit.

"This is corny as shit, but… I don't hate you, Amber." I hugged her closer, letting her rest into my body and become comfortable. "Not one bit."

Chapter Text

Waking up with Amber cuddling on me was… surprisingly nice.

I did say that I didn't hate her. I don't think she would've slept if I told her I did like her. What kind of 'like'? That's complicated shit I don't have the time to figure out right now.

Amber started squirming around until she got up a little, leaning on her arm. "Good morning, Chloe."

"Sup," I nodded towards her, making her laugh. "Feel any better?"

"I guess? It was nice being able to get a lot of that off my chest. It's not everything, but it was more than I've ever said to anyone…"

"You can tell me anything."

"I'm glad."

We got up and stretched, heading to the kitchen for breakfast.

I was so sickened listening to Amber explain her entire life, but it gave me a few ideas of my next step in solving what was happening with the Vortex Club.

Even Amber doesn't really know what other shady shit the club had going on while she and Dana were a part of it…

"Hey."

Amber turned to me as she grabbed a box of frozen waffles from her fridge.

"Um… I think this would be a good idea in my next step," I leaned on the kitchen island table. "Have you spoken to your mom recently?"

She set the box down, saying, "I've been withdrawn to pretty much everyone. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Yeah. Don't you think she might know something about all this shit?"

"She might… She only ever told me about my dad and how fucking awful he was to her. I never wanted to talk about anything else."

"I want to meet up with her later. Do you wanna come along?"

Amber sighed, looking down for a second, "No, not this time. Here, give me your phone and I'll put her number in instead. You can talk to her and ask to meet up somewhere."

"Okay."

Me:
Is this Amber's mom?

Unknown Number:
As in Rachel? Then yes, that's me. Who is this?

Me:
I'm her friend chloe price
There's been some shady stuff happening on blackwell
And it involves your daughter
Is there anywhere we can meet up in person?

Unknown Number:
Yes, of course.
Let's meet near Blackwell.

Why am I nervous as shit? I guess because I'm meeting Amber's real mom… and our first conversation is all the bullshit Amber has put up with for fucking years.

There was a little grass area with trees and few park benches near the school, and there was only one person there.

"Ms. Amber?" I called out.

The lady stood and, when she got closer, I was kinda taken aback. There was seriously no doubt she was Amber's mom. Their resemblance really was crazy similar.

"Chloe Price?"

"Uh, yeah. It's nice to meet you."

"The feeling's mutual. And please, call me Sera. Let's sit down; I'm really worried about my Rachel."

After sitting down, I gave the rundown of everything that had happened over the course from Amber's party to last night. Right when I got to Chase, the Vortex Club, her being used, and all that shit, Sera's face was becoming one of anger.

"I have a feeling she wanted to tell you around this time! But, then she… she got a photo of her friend, Dana… From what I heard from Chase, they killed her… She saw something they didn't want her to see and they just…" I cleared my throat, not wanting to even think about that.

"My Rachel…" Sera looked away with a killer glare, then it softened a little. "All I ever wish for is her happiness."

"I know. You're a good mom, Sera, I can tell," I reached over and rubbed her back. "Maybe you could even see her at her house now. Her dad went missing a while ago and her mom abandoned her."

Sera turned to me with a worried expression, "She's been alone?"

"My friends and I are all she has left now. Sera, I wanted to meet up because… I don't know what the fuck is going on! I thought maybe you'd know something or have any idea…?"

"Rachel's dad has always been an awful man. He was the type to seem so trustworthy and kind in the beginning, but as time went on, his true colors showed," she chuckled in an almost pathetic way. "It really works for being in politics."

I chuckled too, scratching the back of my neck. It sure does…

"I can't forget this… He's always been a part of some disreputable businesses. He was actually quite a drug abuser himself for a time and that's how he hid drugs in my things and sent me off. I overheard him once on one of his burner phones that it was business that if he didn't accomplish any of his tasks, they will kill him."

"Holy shit…"

"Of course, after, he saw me and that was the worst assault I ever endured. He must've thought if he beat me hard enough, I'll somehow forget."

"So… Do you think—"

"It wouldn't be absurd to think he didn't keep his end of his deal and they killed him."

I groaned, bending over and hiding my face in my hands, "I'm losing my fucking mind…"

"You said there was someone in the club named Chase?"

"Her last name. Victoria Chase."

Sera froze, silently gasping like she had a realization. "He was talking about something related to Chase. Chase something. It's a place where he said he had to meet up with whoever it was. Maybe her family is the one running it."

"That would explain why Chase just constantly tortures her…"

I have fucking headache…

"That's all I could tell you, Chloe. He's never been honest and hid lots of things, as you can tell. I hope you find out what happened so Rachel can finally be fully free from this life."

"I'm working as hard as I can. You should visit her, Sera."

"If you're right about what happened, then… I will."

I think I have to do something real fucking stupid. Dangerous. Crazy. But most definitely stupid.

I brought Max, Kate, Steph, and Mikey into my room to explain the whole situation. Like I expected, they were fucking speechless, I keep talking and just when I already said the craziest shit, I would say something worse!

"It sounds like you're almost there in finding the truth," Steph visible shivered. "Damn, I feel bad for Rachel…"

"Me too… I've decided that I need to dig deeper. They're hiding something in that clubroom…"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I'm going to sneak in there."

"What?!" They all said at once.

"I know—"

"Chloe, we don't want you in harm's way anymore!" Max stood up from my bed, grabbing my arms and shaking me a little with a frightened look on her face. "And you told us about Dana!"

"I know! I know! But I can't just sit my ass back and wait for this to go away! There's something going on and it has to stop before it hurts anyone else! If the last person they hurt is me, then… so be it."

"Chloe, we could just call someone—"

"The police aren't gonna do shit! They've all seen me and threw me in fucking jail, all because of Amber's money. Chase is a rich bitch too! They won't do anything to them!"

The room fell silent. They all knew I was right.

"I never thought I'd say this, but," I sighed, looking at Max with a serious look in my eyes, "I'll risk my life. For Amber."

They all exchanged looks around the room.

"Okay…" Max let her hands slip down my arms. "How are you gonna do this?"

The club was held in the drama room, aka a place I swore I would never fucking approach. I thought I was going to need to do some drastic measures, but to my fucking luck, not only was the school's door open, but the Drama's door was open too.

This is too easy…

I clenched my jaw as I pushed the door open and then shut it behind me.

My guard was up. It was too fucking easy.

I took slow steps around, looking all around me as quick as I could to not miss anything.

If I were a Vortex fuck… where would I hide things?

The drama room always kinda freaked me out anyway! Something about it just always felt so weird and to think it really was weird as shit and hiding something illegal or fucked up was leaning towards terrifying.

As I approached the tall, red velvet curtains, I grabbed it and pushed it open.

I gulped as I stepped in, taking three looks behind me.

This is fucking creepy… Just find something, anything, and then get the fuck out!

I wasn't exactly subtle in searching through all of their shit. They had so many drawers and hidden spaces for changing costumes. I had to be quick.

I stumbled upon a drawer in one of the makeup tables that wouldn't budge. Bingo.

Forcefully tugging it, it took five tries before it finally opened, nearly falling to the ground.

"Shit…" I mumbled under my breath. I shook one of my hands from pulling on it so hard and used the other to pull out a thick manila folder that was sitting inside.

I raised my brow, taking quick glances around me before I flipped the front open, revealing a paper with the smallest font my eyes had ever seen.

"What the fuck…" I murmured, grabbing the paper and bringing it close to my face, squinting my eyes to at least try to see something.

Keep your silence… Carry on this deal… Make sure to put in a good name… Hide your addiction… We will execute you if you can't pay…

My hands were shaking as I read more and more. At one point, Mayor Amber was caught with drugs and it was Chase's dad that caught him. He made a deal that he had to keep paying him to keep his silence. If he couldn't, he'll be killed…

Along with her 'mom'.

And then with Amber.

Reading more, he was paying less and less.

That explains why he wanted my ass to pay him directly after my fucking jail time!

My heart was about to burst from all this shit.

"The fuck you doing here, you little bitch?!"

A deep voice yelled, then his arm wrapped around my neck and tightened, blocking air from getting into my lungs.

I thrashed my arms, but that only choked me more. He then gripped my shirt and lifted me off the ground, tossing me back into the wall, falling on the ground with a thud.

My body froze and everything went pitch black. I was still conscious, breathing hard.

The colorful flashing lights started.

My breath sped up. Staring helplessly at the spotlights flashed and burned into my eyes.

" Let's go to the next room!"

" What's going on here?!"

The sickening mix of yelling and paint can spraying filled my ears.

People were pushing against me.

The room was getting hot.

Tears spilled from my eyes.

I screamed inside as the lights flashed brighter and the voices yelled louder.

RACHEL CAN FUCK OFF

I froze even more.

"Put her to sleep."

A cloth was placed over my mouth. I gave some struggle, squirming around, until I was sleepy.

"Tie her up… I'll let her know what's happening when she's awake."

Chapter Text

I was shocked awake from freezing cold water being thrown into my face.

I gasped, my vision blurry and coughing from the water getting into my nose and mouth.

"What the fuck!" I cried out, squirming again, only for rope to dig into my skin. I grunted from it, frantically looking around. I was in a dark room, both for developing pictures and it was just dark.

"You were sleeping for too long and I'm bored."

The dark red light filled the room, revealing who threw the water.

"Fuck you, Chase!"

"Ow, that really hurt." Her flat, sarcastic voice was already getting on my nerves.

My blood boiled seeing her standing there, all dressed up in her expensive clothes and with a stupid fucking smirk on her face.

"Well, Chloe Price, you caught us. You found out all of the shit going on around here. Do you want a cookie?"

"I want you to tell me everything! All of this bullshit! What did Dana see?! Why did you put Amber through all of this?! What the fuck are you gaining from being a monster!"

Chase cackled, crossing her arms over her chest as she sighed after, "You were more fun when you hated Rachel."

"This can't be just because her dad did drugs! Fucking hypocrites!"

"Boo-fucking-hoo, Chloe. Cry me a river."

"Answer me!"

"It's pretty straightforward, asshole. Rachel's father does drugs, my father catches him. We didn't think he would be able to keep his end of his bargain, so we kept going. He coughed up the money and we graciously accepted it."

"You assholes are rich enough!"

"Eh, now it's just for fun."

I'm gonna be fucking sick…

"Amber's dad is a fucking dick, but did Amber really have to be a part of this shit?!"

"She's told you about all of the drug fucking she did for us, right?"

"What about it?"

"Believe me when I say this, it wasn't supposed to go on for a long time. I did have a set point I was going to stop her! But," Chase smirked, taking a step closer, "her father has terrible timing. He started falling behind. He always said he'll pay in full next time, but then he didn't. He was hardly coughing up a few hundred anymore. The last time was the final straw."

"And you just killed him?"

"Now you're catching up!" Chase sounded so fucking condescending. "It was a kidnapping at first, snatched that weak man right out of his office with a little bribery for his secretary and then some enforcement with a friendly gun. We made some deals in the club room before so getting him there wasn't hard. I'm not sure what happened for a little, because I was busy counting those pathetic twenties he forced into my hands. He was killed quickly, but poor Dana just happened to walk in as soon as it happened. And, well, Rachel most likely told you that."

"Why did you send that picture…?"

"Well," Chase grabbed my hair and forced me to look up at her.

"Shit, you fucking bitch!" I spat, making her pull again.

"Since Rachel's father is dead, that means Rachel has to die with him. You read the documents, didn't you?" She forcefully let go, pushing my head away.

There has to be a way out of here… Where the fuck am I…?

She continued, "My father simply put to kill Rachel along with her father, but he didn't say how. So, just to add a little more tragedy, I wanted to break her down. Keep her getting those drugs, keep taking them, and send her a photo of her dead best friend."

"What… What does any of this bullshit have to do with me?"

"Simple. You were so fucking obvious about hating Rachel. I asked her to throw that party and I knew you couldn't resist. Told her father what was happening at the house and told the jocks to beat you and keep you in the house. I didn't know you'd do all of that fucked up shit in the house, though. We told the police to give you that community service, regardless what the hell you did. Thank you for being a fucking idiot." Chase pulled up a chair and sat down, crossing her legs, one over the other.

"What about that stupid two-hundred-something fine? Did Mayor Amber tell the police to add that to leech money off me?!"

"He did that?!" Chase hardily laughed. "Oh my fucking god, how pathetic! I heard the wife left too; Not going to lie, she was smart for that. It helps with Rachel."

This bitch is fucking sadistic…

She kept going, "I took advantage of you hating Rachel and I could tell that was killing her inside. If you had kept it up, she would've just killed herself and then the news would be because her father being gone drove her insane. My family and I will get away and we can move on."

"You're a fucking monster."

"Thank you, I'll carry that title well."

"What are you going to do now?"

"You're staying in here until Rachel either dies or we somehow make it look as if she ended it herself. Not sure what'll happen to you when that happens. We'll see how my family and I will feel after."

Chase stood up and started leaving the room.

"Wait!" I yelled. "Fucking stop, Chase!"

She just cackled, loud and wicked. "Yeah, like I listen to you."

"Chase! Fucking bitch!" I tried to force the ropes off, but it dug and burned into my skin. I didn't fucking care anymore; I needed to get the fuck out!

"See you later, punk ass."

Chapter Text

I was trapped.

I was stuck in this stupid room. I was put to sleep again after Chase's annoying monologue by one of the meatheads and I woke up without the ropes on. I thought they were the fucking idiots after that, but I couldn't see jack shit and the only time I did was when they pushed food under the table like I was a fucking animal.

I didn't touch that shit, not even with a ten-foot pole.

Despite this shitty situation, I had to stay calm. If I allowed myself to stress out any more, I'd trigger myself and I'd be sent into another flashback. I passed out at one point and woke up again, not even sure where I was anymore.

At least a day has passed… I can't waste any time…

I spent all day feeling around the room, trying to figure out where was what. It wasn't the dark room anymore, that was for sure. I felt chairs and tables, but that was pretty much it. Like a classroom.

The light from the outside came in as one of those goons slid food into the room. I just happened to be looking up at the ceiling when it opened, and I saw a vent.

Bingo.

I checked my pockets to see if they were smart enough to check them. They weren't. They left the little amount of change I had that were stuck inside. It was finally working out!

I was careful with taking a chair and placing it under the vent and stood on it, reaching up to unscrew it.

Thank god I'm tall. Any shorter than this, I would've been fucked!

I finished and pushed the vent cover in, opening with dust falling on my face, making me have a coughing fit. I used all of my arm strength (this shit fucking hurts) and lifted myself into the vent and placed the cover back.

Though it didn't fucking matter anyway. I obviously escaped.

I climbed through the vent, using the lights from the rooms and hallways to see my way through. Aimlessly, passing darker vent areas and cursing under my breath when I ended up in dead ends.

I ended up finding a vent that revealed what looked like leaves on a tree, so I hurried over to it.

As I went over to it, I passed a vent under me and a guy yelled, "Where the fuck did she go?!"

Oh shit—

I crawled faster as I heard frantic sprinting coming from the hallways, everyone yelling and banging against the walls. I tried to block out the noises, knowing damn well they were doing that to trigger my PTSD. My muscles tensed and froze a few times, but I kept going, using all of my energy to reach the vent, using my change again to unscrew the vent and kick it open. I didn't give a shit that it made such a loud fucking noise when it fell to the ground.

It wasn't as far of a drop then I thought, sliding out and landing on my side.

"Fuck!" I yelled. I felt so weak as I got up, my vision blurring black and seeing the bright lights wanting to take over. I had fell out the side of the building and Blackwell wasn't far. It was dark as fuck, but I could see it in the distance.

I kept looking over my shoulder, trying to go as quick as I could so those Vortex jocks wouldn't find me. My throat hurt from breathing only through it as I ran, holding my side as I got to the dorms, bursting through the doors and into my room, shutting the door behind me to catch my breath.

I fell to the floor, eyes burning, wanting to cry from all that bullshit that just happened.

Me:
Are you with her right now?

Sera:
Yes.
Where have you been?

I tossed my phone aside and curled up, wanting my pain to subside and fight my flashbacks.

RACHEL CAN FUCK OFF

Bright, colorful lights blinked in my vision, muffled voices covering my ears as I tried to hold onto reality.

"Chloe!" A voice penetrated through, grabbing me into a hug and holding my head to their chest. "Listen to my voice. We're here. You're having a flashback."

Kate.

I steadied my breathing, pressing closer to her to anchor myself. She kept telling me to listen to her and I did. My vision cleared and I saw Kate, Max and Steph, surrounding me with worried looks. Kate held me closer, sighing in relief that I was able to come to.

"What happened, Chloe…?" Max asked. "You disappeared for a whole day…"

I tried to stay calm as I recall everything for them. It was fucking difficult, I slurred my words a few times, but they were taking in every word.

Kate was so comfortable, no wonder Max liked doing this at night.

"I need to see Amber… She's with her mom right now, but we have to keep her safe… I have her mom's number; I need to call."

"You need to rest, Chloe!" Steph placed her hand on my shoulder as I tried to stand up. "You've been through hell! If Rachel's mom said she took her somewhere safe, then she's safe!" Her face then fell into a look of doubt. "That's… That's right, right?"

"Please, just call Sera…"

Max picked up my phone and pressed on the screen a few times, looking for Sera's number. She put it on speaker and we waited in intense tension as the droning dialing ring filled the room.

"Hello…"

My eyes shot open from the voice. That wasn't Sera.

"Victoria…?" My phone shook in Max's hand, her voice trembling.

"That's my name. Don't wear it out."

"Where's Rachel?!"

"Like I texted you, she's here at home with me. Rachel, would you like to say a few words to your friends?"

It was just muffled, like Amber was trying to scream for help.

"Once I get my hands on you, Chase, I'm ripping your fucking head off!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, trying to get out of Kate's arms but she wouldn't let go.

"Accept it, Chloe," she said with such an annoying voice. "You lost! No more Rachel for you…"

"Chase!" I yelled out, scratching through my throat.

She fucking hung up.
"We have to find her!" I forced myself out of Kate's arms, almost out the door when Steph stopped me, grabbing me and blocking the door.

"You can't leave this room in this condition! What if something happens and you have a flashback?! And nobody can help you?!"

"Well, I'm not going to just sit my ass here! If I have to go without any of you, I'll fucking go!"

The room fell silent.

Are they fucking serious…?

"What-fucking-ever…" I took my phone from Max's hand and shoved Steph to the side, getting her out of my way.

Amber's been through enough shit! If no one else wants to help, I'll take on Chase… even if it kills me.

Chapter Text

It was fucking bullshit that I had to take the fucking bus to Amber's place.

My legs couldn't stop shaking. I wanted to burst into flames from how stupid and annoying this was!

Amber could be fucking dead by now, but… knowing how sadistic that bitch is, she's still alive… I need Amber to hold out just a little longer…

My mind was going haywire. Of course, Steph was right and my brain wanted to shut down. Wanted to relive the worst night of my life that brought me to this second. I could see the lights. The words. I could hear them.

I shook my head, gritting my teeth, furrowing my brows so hard that I could feel my pulse in the middle of my forehead. Not now.

These people on this bus probably think I was a junkie going through some crazy ass high right now! I just wanted to blink and be at the damn house already! I was watching every business that passed, every orange streetlight, remembering every fucking one of them before the stop.

I got out of that shit as soon as it stopped, getting yelled at by the bus driver, and ran.

I ran and ran and ran.

Ran until my throat hurt.

Until my legs burned.

Until the sound of my stomping feet was the only noise to be heard.

I ran through the grass, not caring that the sprinklers were on. As I was running, sprinting, I heard voices that made my blood run cold.

"There you fucking are!"

Two Vortex jocks were running at me, going to hit me like they were in a football game.

"Leave me the fuck alon—"

They ran into me, knocking the wind out of me and started punching me.

Over and over and over.

Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!

I felt a crack in my jaw, my cheek swelling and cracks in my eye socket. My mind was a fucking mess, my entire life flashing before my eyes while darkness and colorful, bright lights blinked.

It took everything in me to scream and start kicking, sending those fuckers flying.

Adrenaline in my veins, I ran to the closest one and just kicked the shit out of his face.

"Fuck off!" Kick to his teeth. "Fuck off!" Again.

The other one got up, the bigger one, and charged at me. I moved out of the way as he slipped on the wet grass and kicked his face too.

When they were out cold, I decided to dig through their pockets. They had to have something that was going to be important to me.

And they did.

The first one I attacked had a gun in his pocket; There was only one bullet in the chamber.

I wanna fuck them up until they're unrecognizable! That's not why you're here! Just get Amber!

Tucking it against my back, I ran into the house, slamming the door open so hard, it hit the wall.

Right in the middle of the living room, there was Sera… She was shot in the head, right through her forehead. The house was a mess, everything was thrown around and broken.

Sera was shot as soon as the door was opened and Amber put up a fight.

I knew exactly where she was.

I coughed up some blood, spitting it onto the ground as I pressed my back against the closest wall to catch my breath. I grunted, holding onto reality as much as could.

Just a little longer…

Then, I heard crashing and yelling from upstairs. It scared the shit out of me, wanting to run to it, but my body froze in place.

"Fucking let go of me!" Amber yelled.

"Stop fucking moving, you little shit! Just accept you'll be joining your dad in hell!"

My eyes shot open. My body ached, but I moved, grunting with each step. I watched as Chase dragged Amber out from her dad's office. They didn't even notice me there.

I sped up as she was dragged out to the middle of the grass, thrown like a damn garbage bag.

I sped faster.

My breath was uneven as I ran. My eyes were only on Amber as they stared at each other, Amber standing still as Chase pointed a gun straight at her.

"Just shoot me then, bitch!"

"With pleasure."

I don't know what happened to me then.

I ran.

I ran and ran and ran.

"RACHEL!" I screamed.

It cut through the air. I grabbed her. I heard a bang, echoing everywhere.

A sharp pain pierced through my back.

Chase groaned, "Are you kidding me, Chloe Price? Why do you have to keep—"

I reached for my back for the gun. With everything I had, I pointed it at her and decided, 'fuck it', and shot it. I didn't care if she was just injured or dead. I knew I hit her.

"Chloe…" Rachel's voice was weak and broken.

I felt her tears on my face as she lied me down on the grass.

"I'll call for help; Don't give up on me, Chloe!"

Her hands cupped my face. Same as when she helped me during my first PTSD attack.

Same as at the party, dancing with that stranger.

No, that wasn't a stranger…

It was Amber…

It was… Rachel…

"Stay with me, Chloe!"

I closed my eyes.

"Don't… Chloe, please… I can't lose you too…"

She was sniffling. Out of breath.

"It's okay now, Rachel… No one will hurt you anymore…" I felt her grab my hand, holding it tight.

"Don't talk like that! Chloe, I need you…"

I opened my eyes again, seeing her with my phone. She was blurry, but I could see she was crying hard. Her voice was muffled as she spoke into it.

To be honest, I was okay with going out like this.

I could rest good knowing Rachel was okay. No one was going to hurt her now.

Max, Kate, Steph and Mikey were there for her. They cared for her a lot too.

"Chloe…?" She cupped my face again, still crying hard and trying to catch her breath.

"Can I… ask you something, Rachel?"

"What is it…?"

I gulped, my vision beginning to go dark and my throat beginning to go dry. "If I hit myself and it hurts… am I weak… or am I strong…?"

She weakly chuckled, feeling her breath against my lips. "It means you're strong… Please stay that way… for me."

I nodded, closing my eyes again.

"It was you at the party… wasn't it? Dancing with me?"

"Yeah…"

"You like touching my face too much…"

"I can't help it. It keeps you here on Earth with me."

"It does… So… Don't let go…"

"Never, Chloe." She then giggled, as weak as her chuckle. "You're calling me Rachel."

I opened my eyes again. She was smiling.

"I like you a lot, Rachel."

"I like you a lot too."

She gave me a peck, just barely touching my lips.

I closed my eyes one more time and everything relaxed in me.

Everything was slow, especially my heart.

I shouldn't accept it.

But I did.

I was okay with it ending like this.

Just as long as Rachel was finally safe.

Chapter Text

The sound of an alarm was so fucking annoying.

But the feeling of your girlfriend kissing you to wake you up was much better.

"Good morning…" I mumbled as Rachel kept kissing my cheek. "What day is it?"

"Friday. We decided on your dorm, remember?"

"Oh, right. I remember. Do we have to go to classes today? Don't you just want to stay here and kiss?"

Rachel chuckled, placing one more kiss on me, "I'd love to. But I promised your mom that your grades will stay up. So, we have to go. We'll kiss all you want after school is done with."

"Fine."

That time in our lives was a blur now. I was sure I was going to die right there in the grass of Amber Manor. I thought I was going to be gone and taken away from Rachel, just like her family and best friend were.

Hell, I couldn't believe I didn't go to prison, considering I shot Chase… I guess her dad didn't want this on his hands. I just told what happened and it was like that never occurred in the first place…

That fucking nightmare hellhole. I couldn't let Rachel live there anymore. While I was in the hospital, recovering the bullet that shot through my back, barely missing everything that could've been severed and killed me, my mom and all of my friends helped move Rachel's stuff into my mom's house, staying with us from now on.

Becoming girlfriends just… kinda happened. We didn't ask each other the question, it just happened. She always liked me and I grew to like her, so we just started doing things couples did.

I'll never understand how Rachel still liked me even though I was a total asshole to her, but, fuck, I'm glad.

Everything just fell quiet after everything. It was like everything that happened never fucking happened. The Vortex club didn't even exist anymore!

Mostly because, obviously, everyone in that fucking club were fucking insane.

(Nobody talked about Chase ever again, thank God.)

Now, everything between me and Rachel was just natural.

"Are you really sure you want to go to school?"

Rachel then took that stupid tie the school made us wear and wrapped it around my lifted collar, starting to tie it for me.

"Yes, Chloe." She smiled, chuckling and shaking her head after. "A little addicted to me, aren't you?"

"Better than weed, let me tell you that."

I could never stop looking at her sometimes.

How could someone be this beautiful? Wait, is she real?

I held her chin and lifted her head, kissing her lips quick. Her eyes were wide, but then she grinned, stretching from ear to ear.

"What was that?"

"Just making sure you were real."

"Did you think you were sleeping in bed with a ghost or something?"

"You know this, but you're fucking crazy beautiful, okay? I just needed to make sure!"

"You always amaze me, Chloe Price."

Rachel was keeping me in line from now on, but as much as I (and secretly her too, but she won't say it) wanted to spend some days or nights rebelling against the world, we just needed to be together now. Just be girlfriends and get through Blackhell.

"Alright, you're good to go." Rachel was still holding my tie, looking up at me while biting her lower lip.

"Thinking about it now, huh?" I smirked.

"Of course. I do every time you ask me to just stay here with you. But we won't today. Maybe some other day, though. Come on," she stepped away and grabbed her backpack, "let's finish getting ready and get to school. We have to see your Dungeons and Dragons friends, remember?"

Right! We're starting a new campaign today!

I shut my trap and got ready faster.

"Okay, ready?"

Rachel grabbed my hand and pulled me along to school, not stopping for a second.

It's still fucking crazy that this was happening now… Without that stupid party, without that stupid punishment to clean that stupid house, without the Vortex Club just being full on batshit fucking crazy none of this would be happening right now.

Me hating Rachel felt so fake and that I made that up. Maybe I actually kinda liked her; I just didn't want to believe that.

But here I was, that 'tough' shit I used to pull wasn't me anymore.

Rachel went into school, holding my hand tighter as she hurried through the hallway, making everyone else move aside and against the lockers.

"No running in the halls, Miss Amber!" Principal Wells yelled as we passed him.

I cackled as Rachel sped up. "Whatever, Principal Wells!"

Well, that tough shit was still a part of me at times.

Rachel headed straight to Photography class, where Max and Kate were sitting at one of the desks by the window, with Kate sitting in her chair and Max was on the desk, looking down at her.

Max and Kate. Those cute, little and soft lovebirds that were just too perfect together. Their cuteness still made my teeth rot. God, just the way they held hands was cute somehow!

They might as well get fucking married with how well they just go together!

"There you two are!" Kate greeted us.

"Hey!" Rachel let go of my hand and sat next to her. "I'm so glad it's Friday now! Any weekend plans, you two?"

"Not really, no. Just movie nights with Max."

"That's what you do every weekend." I crossed my arms, a little mocking in my tone.

"And it's the best every single time," Max nodded, smiling from ear to ear. "What about you two?"

"Chloe's dorm this weekend," Rachel replied. "I'm going to get her ass focused on homework before we could do whatever we want to do!"

"Can we just do a little bit of what we want to do first and then do homework?" I raised my brow. I don't wanna do homework, are you fucking kidding me?

"And let you distract me? No, Chloe Price."

"Give me a taste, at least! Make me chase for it, Rachel."

She scoffed, but the corner of her mouth was still curved in a smirk. I wasn't giving up. I want one kiss, at least!

"I'll think about it."

"Hey, you guys!" A familiar voice greeted us, along with the sound of the door closing after.

"Hey Steph!" I turned and nodded my head at her. "Took you long enough!"

"We're still not exactly used to you being here before us, Chloe." Mikey said.

"Well, get used to it, dude. With Rachel, my shit is more put together."

"We can tell!" Steph started to dig through her bag. "Plus, I had to print out some assignments and character sheets for our new campaign."

"We still don't have a campaign figured out yet." Mikey was given the sheets and passed them to me and Max.

"I got an idea, actually," I took a sheet from him, looking at the elaborate sections for descriptions in physical appearance, personality traits, and stats. (I tended to put my strength in the highest number.)

"Is that so, Callamastia?" Max sounded like she was teasing me. "What is it?"

"Like, I know we start our campaigns with knowing each other, but I was thinking we don't know each other at all. We'd be traveling to different places, but then a crazy ass meteor or like a flaming ball crashes through the air—BAM!—and onto Earth! We'd be like 'what the fuck' and then we all go there. I don't know what the fuck happens after, but whatever's in that meteor or whatever, it'll kill us all!"

"That's…" Steph crossed her arms and giving me an amused smile. "That's pretty genius, Chloe. Yeah, let's go with that!"

"Hell yeah!"

Thank fuck, classes were fast today!

I saw Rachel walking out of the school building and, feeling my stomach growl, I hurried to her.

"Hey, let's go to Two Whales for dinner, please?" I hugged Rachel around her waist from behind, stopping her from heading to the dorms.

"Chloe, we went yesterday."

"Come on, how are you going to deny it? They started serving breakfast all day and now you don't want evening pancakes?"

"It's not that I don't want evening pancakes, we just had them yesterday! And the day before that. And the day before that one too! We have to eat something else, Chloe."

"Then let's order something else! It doesn't have to be nighttime breakfast all the time!"

Rachel sighed, rolling her eyes. "Okay, fine. You caught me in a good mood."

"Hell yes!" I grabbed her hand and now I was the one pulling her along. I hurried and hurried, making our way to the diner. My mom was still working at this hour, I think.

I just wanted to get to the diner, running and running until I ran straight into the diner.

"What did I tell you about running into here, Chloe?!" My mom had a coffee pot in one hand and her hand on the other, looking at me with her 'mom glare'.

"I'm hungry, mom, okay?" I replied, going to my and Rachel's usual booth. "While Rachel wants something else, I want pancakes!"

I made them laugh with that and my mom knew that I wanted coffee with it, getting a mug and pouring one for me.

"Then what'll it be, Rachel?" My mom asked her.

"Just a burger and fries for me, Ms. Price. I promise to get her on her homework once we get back to the dorm."

"Good to hear! School was good then?"

"Only because it's Friday." I added, then drank my coffee.

"Of course you'd say that. I'll be back with your orders."

When my mom left, I grumbled to Rachel, "You're not serious about the homework, are you?"

"The quicker we get homework down the quicker we could do whatever the fuck we want." Rachel then smirked, "But I know you'll try to make it go your way somehow."

"You know we so well."

No way I'm going to do homework right away on a goddamn Friday! Rachel can spare some time!

"Aren't you glad we came here first, though?" I asked.

"Of course. I'm always glad whenever we're together."

Man, that shit will never leave my memories. Not just because of the PTSD. No fucking clue if we'll ever have kids, but if we ever do, how the fuck will we answer, 'how did you and mom meet?' We couldn't just say, 'your mom held a crazy party, but it was actually by her 'friend', who sabotaged it to make me get stuck in the same house (because I hated her at the time) as her in order to make her want to end herself (because I hated her so much) because her dad made this deal with that 'friend's' devil father and then they were just sadistic after that and then I grew to love your mom and saved her from getting killed by that 'friend.''

I guess I do love her. Yeah… I think I do?

"Hey, Rachel."

She hummed, setting her phone down.

"I love you."

She widened her eyes, then chuckled, giving my shin a light kick. "Don't fuck around like that."

"I'm not fucking around!"

"We haven't been dating long; Don't just say it so randomly!"

She was still laughing, so she doesn't hate it that much.

I couldn't stop smiling at her. I totally looked goofy as shit, but I couldn't not smile.

If I don't love her, then I really, really, really like her.

We just had small talk while we ate, talking about what we should do after we finish with homework back at my dorm room. Mostly movies or lying down to just talk. Our relationship didn't move that fast on the physical side of it, not with everything we both went through, especially Rachel.

Her hugs were the best! And I was never into all that cuddle or snuggle shit, but those were the best too!

And her kisses!

"Why are you smiling?" Rachel asked, smiling too, holding a french fry to my mouth.

"Nothing," I shook my head and ate the fry.

After finishing our meals, I let Rachel pull on my arm until we were on the sidewalk. I tugged on her back, making her stop.

"Chloe Price!"

"Rachel Amber."

"Come on, we have to get back to the dorm."

"Nope," I tugged on her arm again, making her land onto me, "we should go to the lighthouse."

"Chloe—"

"Come on, you know want to hang out for a little bit! It's not even a little dark yet!"

She grumbled, slouching her back, then sighed, "Ten minutes."

"Sweet!"

So, there was more dragging along. Not so much about halfway, because she was starting to run too, sometimes even faster than me.

We ran all the way to the very top of the cliff to the lighthouse, where no one was ever there. I thought for a second that maybe Max and Kate decided to go first, but they were homebody movie geeks at this point, so they weren't going to be there.

The lighthouse was just a perfect place to watch the ocean and sunset, sitting on the perfectly placed bench facing the view.

"You know you don't want to be here for just ten minutes!"

"I really mean it this time, Chloe," Rachel took her phone out of her backpack and checked the time. "There, I remember the time and I'm going to check again in a little bit."

"Alright then," I sat down on the bench, stretched my arms on the back, "whatever you say."

She shook her head, in disbelief at me, but sat down anyway. I put my arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer and sighed contently, looking towards the horizon.

"Does any of it ever feel like a dream to you?" Rachel asked, keeping her eyes forward as she leaned into me.

"All the fucking time…" I snickered, shaking my head. "Like, did I really hate you that much? Did I really get stuck in jail for three days? Did I really choke you that day? Did you help me pass my first flashback attack?" I paused, holding her closer. "Did Chase really use me to torment you, in hopes you'd end it all…?"

"None of it sounds real when you ask like that… I still can't believe that I never have to go to that house again. I'll never see my dad again. I'll never see my mom, both my real one and my fake one, again. I'll never get to change my childhood or the beginning of high school… get my dad to stop hurting me or tell myself to not do anything for just five minutes of praise… But… It brought me here. It brought us together."

"Good job finding anything positive in this situation." I smiled a little bigger, kissing her cheek. "I'm proud of you. For getting through all that bullshit."

"I'm proud of you too." Rachel smiled back, turning to me to kiss my lips. "Hate—and will forever hate—that you had to be stuck in my house to get us here."

She cupped my cheeks in her hands, giving me one more kiss, this time deeper and lasting seconds longer. This was definitely a comforting feeling now, setting me down into reality.

She added after she pulled away, "And, now, you're always stuck with me."

I chuckled, gazing at her for a little. She makes it sound like a bad thing.

"And I don't mind that one bit."