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It was a hot night and that’s why Takasugi allowed himself to disobey his medical instructions for once. Hopefully Matako wouldn’t find out and he wouldn’t be scolded, but he realized he wouldn’t mind if he was. It felt nice to have someone scolding him, treating him as an equal, showing real concern for him as a person, not as the commander of the Kiheitai.
Takasugi’s lips curved into a smile. He carried only his kiseru in his left hand, the right one too busy holding onto a crutch, and he was wearing nothing but the light yukata they gave him in the hospital. He walked to the hospital’s rooftop with the intent of smoking, which he wasn’t allowed to do in his room. And he wanted to be alone for a while, to think about the future he was given a chance to have.
“If it isn’t Shinsuke-kun disobeying his doctors once again.”
But of course, peace was something he wouldn’t be having so soon.
“You’re not really one to talk, are you?” Takasugi replied to the voice coming from behind his back.
“Hey, at least I can still walk without a crutch.”
Gintoki reached him and stopped right by his side. Surprisingly, the man’s presence didn’t bother Takasugi as much as he thought it would. It felt like an eternity since the last time he found himself alone with Gintoki without any animosity between them.
Gintoki leaned against the grid just like Takasugi was leaning. He seemed a bit nervous, but Takasugi tried to ignore it. There wasn’t much he could do about it. They fell into a silence that lasted a couple of long awkward minutes before Gintoki broke it.
"So,” he began. “Do you still want to kill me?"
Takasugi took a drag of his kiseru and exhaled before replying.
"Part of me always will… It’s the same part of me that wants to die. But it's not the biggest part of me... not anymore."
Gintoki seemed satisfied with that answer and the silence installed itself between them again. They could hear the sounds of the night, the wind, sometimes one or another voice that spoke a bit louder in the background, but they weren’t really paying attention to them, being too busy with their own thoughts.
A few more minutes and Gintoki reached out his arm toward Takasugi’s direction. He made a sign pointing to the man’s kiseru and another one to ask for him to hand it. Takasugi looked at him in confusion, but ended up giving the pipe to Gintoki, who was fast to put it between his lips and inhale it.
Not long after, Gintoki exhaled a thin wisp of smoke and handed the kiseru back to Takasugi.
“This is disgusting,” he said, with his deadpan expression on his face.
Takasugi smiled.
“Bansai told me the same thing once.”
Gintoki’s face changed and his eyebrow raised slightly.
"Bansai, huh,” he started. “Is there something between you and that subordinate of yours?"
Takasugi wanted to correct him. He's not my subordinate, he’s a friend, but he shied away. The words still felt foreign on his tongue. It was still so awkward to think about the fact he had friends, that he had a family. And he's had it for over 10 years but was too blinded by hate to be able to see.
"What makes you say that?" He finally replied.
Gintoki scoffed.
"He's pretty obvious in the way he looks at you. Maybe that's the reason why he always covers his eyes with those shades," he paused and then smiled. "I know that look very well, you know. Because I used to look at you the same way."
Takasugi's eye widened slightly and he turned his head to look at his companion. Gintoki was still smiling, his red eyes glowing as he stared back.
"Were you...?"
"Yeah."
Takasugi didn't know what to say.
"I never told you because it wouldn't have worked out, even if you felt the same."
He knew.
"Are you... still?"
"Part of me always will, I have accepted this long ago. However, it's not the biggest part anymore." He continued smiling.
Takasugi finally smiled back. He knew that feeling very well. He went back to stare at the horizon before Gintoki’s voice called him again.
"Hey."
The moment Takasugi turned his neck again he felt Gintoki's lips pressed against his. After a few seconds frozen by the surprise, he closed his eye and kissed him back. It was calm and chaste and damn this man tastes like strawberry. Their lips moved slowly, an intention to make things more heated was there, but soon Gintoki withdrew from him.
"This would never work out, would it?" Gintoki asked.
"Definitely not," Takasugi replied with a smirk.
Gintoki smiled back.
"Well, this is one less weight on my shoulders. Your turn."
"What do you mean?"
"This was a late confession. It took me 10 years to confess. Don't you think I deserve a reward? Now you confess something too."
"What? You told me that because you wanted to!"
"Come on, Takasugi. There must be a secret in this thick head of yours that you're willing to share with an old friend."
"Alright," Takasugi closed his eye trying to think about something he could confess. It didn't take long for his lips to curve into a smirk, and he opened his eye to speak. "Back in the day I used to pick the same prostitutes as you only for the pleasure of spiting you. I didn't even have sex with most of them; I was never into women. I usually just drank sake and had long conversations with them. You would be surprised at how many interesting stories those women have to tell." He paused to take a drag of his kiseru, but soon completed: "Oh, we also played shogi sometimes."
Gintoki's jaw was so low it looked like it would fall off his face anytime.
"What?! Shogi?!" He said, louder than necessary. "I went to sleep with blue balls so many times because you were playing shogi with the prostitute I was going to bang? Are you serious?"
"Absolutely."
"I always knew it couldn't be a coincidence we always picked the same women, but I thought at least one of us was getting laid!"
"Well, the pleasure I felt for ruining your night was as good as getting laid, if you ask me." His smirk grew bigger.
"I can't believe this. You left your poor comrade suffering through nights of solitude after days fighting in the battlefields solely because you wanted to spite me! You're a dick, you know that, right?"
Takasugi chuckled, seeming to enjoy Gintoki’s reaction, but didn't reply. He took another long drag of smoke, took his time to exhale it, and then spoke again.
"It was also with one of them that I smoked a kiseru for the first time."
"So this nasty habit of yours came from back then too, huh?"
"You could say so."
Soon the smile faded from his face.
"But about me and Bansai… There is something. I don't know what it is. I suppose I will have the time to find out now." He finally answered Gintoki’s question.
A couple minutes with both deep in thought passed before Gintoki broke the silence again.
"What are you gonna do next?"
Takasugi exhaled the smoke slowly.
"I'm gonna stay with my friends."
He could feel the heat on his face as he said that. Friends. It felt weird, but somehow right. He liked the way it sounded. But he was waiting for Gintoki to mock him, which didn’t happen.
"Are you guys going to stay in Edo?"
"I don't know. We're gonna decide together. For that we have to wait for Bansai to wake up."
“How’s his situation?”
“Not the best, but the danger has passed. He’s gonna wake up in a few days.”
“How about the girl and the pervert?”
“They’re both fine, no major injuries. Bansai’s got the shorter end of the stick.”
"That man would die for you."
"I know he would. That’s why I told him to live for me instead."
“I’ve heard he’s not the best at obeying your orders.”
“It wasn’t an order.”
Gintoki smiled.
“You’ve changed, Takasugi.”
“Yeah… So have you.”
“I hope it’s for the best.”
“I choose to believe it’s impossible to get even more annoying than you were ten years ago so I’d say yes, it’s for the best.”
“Is this the closest thing to a compliment I will ever get from you?”
“Probably.”
“Well, I’ll cherish it then,” Gintoki said before he started stretching himself. “I’ll leave you alone now. Gotta go back to my room before the brats find out I left.”
“You’ve got yourself a caring family.”
“So have you,” Gintoki said with his hand on Takasugi’s shoulder, before turning to leave. “Make sure to be happy with them now.”
Takasugi smiled as he saw Gintoki leaving and soon he went back to staring the horizon and reorganizing his own thoughts.
“Happy, huh?” He said to himself. “If I’m allowed to be happy with them… There’s nothing I would like more.”