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English
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Published:
2011-03-31
Words:
503
Chapters:
1/1
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4
Kudos:
58
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Brain Bleach

Summary:

Finn learns the value of caution, and Kurt learns... other things.

Notes:

Response to a prompt at glee_fluff_meme.

Work Text:

"Kurt, have you seen my... AAAAGH!!!" Finn slapped his hands on his eyes, face screwed in horror. He had just walked in on Kurt sitting on his bed, Blaine on his lap, and Kurt's hand up to his elbow in Blaine's not-exactly-on-anymore pants. Which did get extracted at the speed of light as Kurt, panicked, shoved Blaine on the floor and blushed up to his hairline.

"FINN!" he nearly screamed. "Next time, knock! PLEASE!"

Finn was still freaking out, chanting a blurred 'ohmygodohmygodohmygod' behind his hands. Blaine was sitting on the floor, looking like he was trying to decide which got hurt worse, his butt or his pride. Kurt was scrabbling around the bed, pulling every piece of bedding he could reach to cover his crotch.

"Oh God... There won't be a next time, I promise you! Because I will poke my eyes out to avoid seeing anything like that ever again!"

Kurt's forehead wrinkled and his nostrils flared. "Finn, I cannot believe you! I thought you were over this! I have a boyfriend, I'm going to be intimate with him in the privacy of my home, and you're going to just have to deal with it, you homophobic simpleton!"

At this outburst, Finn tentatively lowered his hands to look at Kurt. "Dude, no! That's not it at all! It's awesome that you have a boyfriend, and I really like Blaine -" who looked less gratified at the praise and more miffed that he was still on the damn floor "- but you're my brother, man, and I don't want to see you doing... stuff."

To Finn's relief, Kurt's expression softened. But Kurt wasn't still about to let go of the duvet, thankyouverymuch. "Oh."

"Yeah, it would be like... you surprising me and Quinn. Or walking in on Mom and Burt. I don't need to know that stuff about my family."

"Carole and Dad? You mean..." Kurt's face whitened. "Oh my god. Carole and Dad are having sex! Carole and Dad have disgusting old people sex in our house! Oh my god oh my god Dad and Carole do gross heterosexual... things in our home!" Kurt's face started to take a greenish tint and he looked like he was about to throw up. This worried Blaine more than a little, since he was precisely on the trajectory line. And Blaine could literally see on Kurt's face how his erection shrank. Oh fuck was all he could think of, ironic considering that's the one thing he was obviously never doing any more. Not really knowing what else to do, he just pushed himself up from the floor, carefully because despite Finn's best attempts, he was still hard. He sat down on the bed and tried to wrap his arm around Kurt, who just jumped away, still looking horrified. Blaine looked up at Finn through narrowed eyes and, unnoticed by Kurt, made a swift cut-throat motion with his thumb. Upon the very next opportunity, Finn would be at the wrong end of a cockblock of biblical proportions.