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Freddie woke up without an alarm, without feeling cold from the ceiling fan, without a cat kneading at his stomach. He knew he was in Heaven, or some sort of afterlife that was similar, and could not recall the last time that he had been forced to wake up at an ungodly hour of the day. There was no clear concept of time where he was living, but he knew that on Earth his birthdays had gone and went, the day that he had passed was fresh on his memory once a year, and that when his friends and family would pass on Earth, they would arrive into the afterlife at the same moment. Freddie had enjoyed his birthday parties and dinners, though he didn’t look a day over forty, nor was he. He was able to recall when his arrival day was each year, throwing back some champagne and trying to forget about what he had gone through, memories of his life on Earth always circling throughout his mind. When Joe arrived, Freddie caught up with him and learned what had happened on Earth, then put Joe in charge of welcoming anyone in his inner circle arriving into Heaven back into Garden Lodge.
Freddie still did not know exactly where he was or what he was doing, but he knew that when he looked into the mirror he looked the same as he had in 1986, often waking up in the red sweater he wore to that birthday. Turning forty marked the last birthday that he had thought he was perfectly healthy, the last birthday that he had no regrets or fears towards passing. Now he knew that there was nothing to be afraid of, having arrived in the afterlife sitting on his familiar bed, still in Garden Lodge.
At first, he was lonely. Phoebe, Joe, and Jim were all back on Earth, Mary and the cats as well. Tiffany had passed over a few years before, and though Freddie would never admit it, her company before the rest of Freddie’s feline friends and family arrived had put her one step closer to dethroning Delilah. Once Joe had arrived, Freddie’s new life had become so much easier. Joe, having died back in America, had to go through traveling to England in this new world, and on his way ran into many of Freddie’s old friends, giving them the address to Garden Lodge, Freddie gaining new visitors.
Away from Earth, Freddie had, obviously, missed so much. Joe, only living a year after Freddie, still had drama and events to fill Freddie in on. Mary having kicked out Joe, Jim, and Phoebe before time was something that pissed both Freddie and Joe off immensely, Freddie thinking of that most often. But, he knew that Phoebe had a new flat, that Jim was planning on moving into their bungalow, and just knowing that they had a place to stay had Freddie content with them. Though he had never promised to watch over anyone, he had hoped that arriving into the afterlife would give him a chance to see what his family and friends were up to, but he was never granted that power.
Each day Freddie would ask Joe if there were any new visitors, or if one of Freddie’s cats had crossed over, but there hadn’t been anyone new in weeks. The last of his cats, of course, being Delilah, had arrived into heaven months ago, and it had been equally as long since one of his friends had arrived.
-
Jim rolled over to turn on the lamp on his nightstand, wanting to check his alarm clock to see what time that it was, but he found nothing of the sort to be near him. He knew that he was in his bedroom, reclined back into his bed. Looking over to his nightstand where his hand fumbled for an alarm that wasn’t there, he noticed that his hands were quite smoother than he had remembered. There were fewer wrinkles radiating from his knuckles, no age spots doting his skin. He didn’t know if he were dreaming or was awake, but he knew that something was slightly off. But, he soon recalled yesterday, being in this same bedroom and surrounded by his family. He knew that he was dying, but no longer felt as if he was.
He was alone in his room, and he felt the fabric of a t-shirt clinging to his chest, the fabric of one that he hadn’t worn in years. Standing now, he led himself to a mirror, turning on his bedroom light and looking into the reflective glass. He was in his thirties, wearing the clothing he had worn to Freddie’s fortieth birthday.
Jim tried not to think of Freddie, for he had missed him for far too long. There was no point in wishing him back or stalling over memories, as he would just think to what happened next, then even later, and then his end. Still feeling discombobulated, Jim did his best not to panic, walking into his bathroom and brushing his teeth, feeling the cold water hit his pinky as he had turned off the tap too slowly. He had felt the water, he had felt how cold that it was. He couldn’t be dreaming, this had to be heaven.
Growing up Catholic, he had expected cherubs, pearl white clouds, and St. Peter at the gates, but all he had been met with was missing furniture and hair that was no longer grey.
If he were truly in heaven, then that must mean that everyone else that he had lost in life was there as well, and in their respective resting places. Across the Irish Sea, there had to Freddie.
-
After following his cats down the stairs, Freddie had waltzed into the kitchen, Joe cooking breakfast and humming along to the stereo. Something that had surprised Freddie was that, although his friends on Earth weren’t in heaven already, technological advancements were. There was a cd in the stereo, some sort of tiny record album. Freddie was livid upon his discovery. Cds could hold more much and vinyl, and it would be absolute ages until the rest of his band members would arrive. The world was stuck with twelve track albums, and they could have had eighteen.
Other than advancements in music, Freddie had strayed away from new technology such as computers. Joe used the computer to keep up with friends across the globe but also felt that it was pointless, not showing up the profiles and lives of those still living. If the technology was there, then those on Earth should be too. Jim had put out a memoir, which Joe had read and given rave reviews, but Freddie refused to acknowledge it, not wanting to know of the pain that his death had afflicted onto him. He knew of what Mary had done, and he knew that Jim was happy in Ireland, that was all that he wanted to know. He wanted to avoid the memories of them together, he didn’t want to feel guilty any longer.
Once he had finished his breakfast, Freddie had made himself comfortable in bed again, turning on the television and thumbing through the endless guide. In heaven, he could watch whatever he wanted, but he stuck with black and white movies, quoting them as he watched. Finding the phone sat on the nightstand opposite of his side of the bed, Freddie turned the dial to enter the number of the phone downstairs, calling Joe just as he did each day.
“Joe, do we have any visitors? Any old friends popping in to say hello?” It had become a routine that, as Freddie would watch television each day, that he would ask Joe if anyone new had stumbled upon Garden Lodge to visit. “I don’t even care who at this point. If they’re a fan, let them in for tea. Or, if they’re a cat, grab a collar from the cabinet and christen them as a member of the family.”
“I haven’t heard anyone try to buzz in, Fred,” Joe leaned against the countertop, his phone resting in the crook of his neck. “I know that it’s been a while, for both of us.”
-
Jim tried to make sense of why he was suddenly in his late thirties, why he looked to be going to Freddie’s party, and why his mustache felt so thick above his lip. It had been so long since the eighties, and Jim wondered why young him wanted that mustache so badly.
That day, he had proposed to Freddie. He had given him the gold band and had never seen Freddie happier. It was a day of celebration, both for Freddie’s birthday and, to the two of them, their engagement. It was the first day of Jim’s life that he had felt certain about anything, he was certain of he and Freddie’s future together. Perhaps that was why he had been transported into heaven as that version of himself, maybe he was going to be that happy for eternity.
But, he had little time to reflect, the sun already had gone down and the temperature outside had dropped significantly. Jim stood outside of the wall surrounding Garden Lodge, contemplating whether to knock or buzz in, knowing he would be let in regardless, but also recognizing how late that it was and that Freddie was most likely in bed already. He had taken the first flight available into London and fought with the delayed tube to get into Kensington. His Volvo wasn’t automatically with him in heaven, and having to navigate the tube after years of not even living or visiting London was a nightmare.
Remembering that he had a key, and feeling that it was wedged deep into his pant pocket, Jim unlocked the outermost door, beginning to walk through the garden. The garden looked remotely the same, but there were a few flowers wilting near the front door of the home, and the lawn hadn’t been mowed in a bit too long. It seemed that even in the afterlife that Jim still had his work cut out for him.
Jim still doubted whether or not to knock. There was a chance Freddie was still awake, but if he wasn’t then he would not get an answer. A hotel seemed ideal at the moment, and it still was not too late to turn around. Before he could move away from the door, though, he watched as it cracked open.
Joe Fanelli, with a cat in his arms and jaw open, stood before Jim and blinked quickly.
“It took you long enough,” Joe laughed, sitting down the pet and biting his lip inwards. “What year was it there? Is it still the nineties?”
“It’s New Years, 2010.”
“You spent nineteen years away from Freddie and I, didn’t you know we were waiting for you?” Joe joked, inviting Jim inside and closing the door. “It’s late, when’d you get here?”
“I woke up back home this morning, and I saw that I was young again,” Jim sat down opposite of Joe, two loveseats facing each other in the living room. “It took me all day to get here, airport security had gotten worse over the years.”
“You know, Freddie asks me every day if any of his friends have passed over, and I think that every time he asks that he hopes that the answer is you.”
Jim wanted to tell Joe to grab Freddie, to let him know that he was here now, but he was too anxious to even think about their second meeting. He had gone nineteen years without him, Freddie could have become an entirely different person. Though Jim knew that Freddie would always be Freddie, he was still nervous, always thinking of the worst.
Joe looked young as well, younger than either Jim or Freddie. Jim didn’t recognize his clothes, but he knew that they were likely just pajamas, and that the best day of Joe’s life didn’t correlate with Jim’s. He wanted to ask Joe how Freddie was doing, what he had been up to, but knew that it would be better if he would just ask Freddie himself.
“I’m turning in for the night, you remember which bedroom is yours,” Joe started to stand up, but Jim stopped him.
“Is Freddie awake? Will you tell him?”
-
Freddie snarled as he heard heavy footsteps in the hallway, wondering why Joe would be so rowdy this late in the evening. Freddie had taken the day to himself, penning songs on legal pads and napping off and on, drinking more champagne than usual and then imagining what to thumb on the piano tomorrow. He had already tucked himself into bed, turning down his televisions brightness and listening to infomercials as he planned tomorrow’s day and attempted to drift off into sleep.
There was knocking on his bedroom door, coupled with Joe beginning to speak. “You’ve got a new visitor.”
The only people that would arrive at this time of night would be Freddie’s party friends, those from New York or Munich, wanting to celebrate heaven by partying at the club Gay Heaven. It was too late, and Freddie had grown so accustomed towards his domestic lifestyle.
“Tell them to see me in the morning, it’s too late for me to party,” Freddie had his voice raised slightly, just enough to penetrate through his door and into the hallway.
“It’s your husband.”
Freddie furrowed his brows, wanting to roll his eyes, but stopping himself. That voice was so, so familiar, one he hadn’t heard in quite a while. He wanted to think the person was joking, maybe it could be Peter, but he instinctively sat up in his bed, turning down the television volume. Somehow, Joe could have finessed in Burt Reynolds -- that would be the highlight of his entire life so far.
Freddie recognized that voice, though, and although he could tell that they were bantering, there could be a little proof to it. He rubbed his temples, wanting to slide back down his pillow, but stopping himself as he heard the door creak open. At this time he wanted privacy.
Joe and Jim stood in the hallway, both illuminated by the overhead light right before the doorway, Joe placing his hand onto the door and Jim peering out from behind his shoulder. Checking if he was imagining this, Freddie shook his head and swallowed, staring at both of them. He wanted to ask Joe if he had been lying about any guests earlier that day but suddenly didn’t have the voice to do it.
“I,” Freddie cleared his throat, swallowing again. “Joe, I’ll see you again tomorrow.”
Freddie moved out from his bed, almost ripping the duvet from himself. He walked over to the doorway, where Jim was now standing alone. Jim smiled to him, and Freddie had to hold himself back from running into him.
Freddie struggled to form words, but gave up on that task to throw his arms around Jim, to try and fully grab both shoulders, to hold onto his waist, to feel his body pressed into his frame, to try and crane his head into his neck, to breath in warmth and hold onto the man in front of him. Jim placed his own arms around Freddie, holding him tighter and rubbing his back with his fingertips. Freddie, for the first time, had found himself not in control of himself in the afterlife, he had found himself the most vulnerable he had felt since he was alive. After years of waiting, years of routine and thoughts and going nowhere, Freddie was reunited with the one person he had been waiting up for.
“I’ve missed you,” Freddie finally spoke up, feeling the cotton of Jim’s collar on his face, his lips brushing against Jim’s shoulder as he talked. Somehow he had crouched himself to become slightly shorter, and while his body was uncomfortable, he felt safe. “I waited every day, and the day would never come.”
Freddie wasn’t in the mood for crying, in fact, he still only wanted to go to sleep, but he was in a situation where he could not ignore all of his emotions. “I felt guilty for leaving you, I think about that every night, before I go to sleep, how I left you practically alone.”
“I’m fine, I was fine, and I’m so much better now,” Jim’s hand had found it’s way up to Freddie’s hair, lightly scratching his scalp and moving his fingers through the short strands. “I’ve missed you too, Freddie. I spent nineteen years without you!”
“Well, that is a very long time. But I’ve waited that amount as well!” Freddie laughed now, still holding onto his partner and burying his smile into Jim’s chest. “Are you wearing what you wore to my birthday party?”
“How’d you know that?” Jim smirked, loosening his grip on Freddie and wiping the sweat from his hands onto his jeans.
“I think that the higher powers knew that we were destined to grow old together, they’re giving us a fresh start from that day. I hope that I wake up tomorrow with a grey hair behind my ear.”
Freddie would be waking up tomorrow, and the next tomorrow. Every day that either of them would spend together from that day forward, it was guaranteed they would wake up in the morning, that they would be able to do whatever their hearts desired.
There was no more waiting, no more wrong decisions, no more regret or sadness or pain. Both men were happy, both in their home, both warm and loved and okay. Freddie’s time on Earth had been extraordinary, had been filled with music, parties, crazy nights; Jim’s life had been quite the opposite, but he had gained what all he had wanted from Freddie. In the afterlife, there weren’t quite as wild of parties, there weren’t bandmates for Freddie to make music with, there was no need for Jim to take up carpentry again as a hobby. Everything was there for them, already given and laid out, they just had to take the opportunities that were given. Jim and Freddie were granted a second chance at forever, one that would last forever his time.