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Agent Phil Coulson had made a decision. It was a decision he knew he wasn’t going to walk away from. He felt the metal of the helicarrier’s floors under his dress shoes and wished he could feel the grass one last time. Wished he could see the sky, feel the wind and have one more day to read the mystery novel he’d been working on for the past month. The characters would be forever frozen where they were, awaiting his return.
He took the destroyer gun from its place in the weapons locker, his jaw set in determination. He wouldn’t survive a direct encounter with Loki, he knew that. There was no scenario where he walked away from this one, but maybe he could save the balmy summer days he now coveted for someone else.
He could by them time.
He could be a shield.
Phil turned with the gun, his mind made up. There was no panic, there was no fear. There was peace.
He thought of Audrey Nathan, her bright smile and the excitement in her voice when he’d told her half an hour ago that Tony Stark was going to fund a trip up the coast for the pair of them. Phil loved her with a ferocity that surprised even himself. He’d managed to tell her just that, and now he was glad of it.
“I don’t want us to grow apart,” he’d told her on the phone. “I want you to be there, and I want to be there for you.”
“Oh, Phil, I want that too,” she’d said in her soft, kind voice.
“I’m going to marry you, Rey,” he’d blurted out in a fit of sentimentalism that he was prone to.
She’d laughed at that, but not in mocking way. “I’m looking forward to it,” she’d said happily. “I’ll see you soon, right?”
“After this mission,” he’d promised. “I’ll be there. I have two weeks of vacation with your name on them.”
“Okay,” she’d said softly. “I’ll see you soon. Phil? I love you. Be careful.”
“I will. Stay out of trouble.”
“No promises.”
“Audrey?”
“Phil?”
“I love you too, you know.”
“Of course I know. Bye, Dear.”
As far as last conversations with loved ones went, it wasn’t bad. He ingrained those words in his heart as he walked so if there was an afterlife, he’d have them with him always.
Agent Coulson walked willingly to his death knowing he was saving her. He was saving all of them. It was ok if no one ever knew; it really was, because it wasn’t about him. It was about THEM. It was about every human on the planet who deserved to live and breathe and be free and he believed that, truly.
So he faced a demi-god without fear and the results were about what he expected. He lay against the cold metal wall, bleeding and dying. Everything slowed. The pain swiftly ebbed away and breathing became more of a task. He now only wished for one last selfish thing, that he not have to die alone. It was ok if he did, because there was nothing he could really do about it. There was a hole in his chest the approximate size of a stapler, and he suspected he had no more than a minute.
Then there was Fury. God bless his one-eyed face. Marcus Johnson and him had been through hell and back. He’d done this for him. This would get the Avengers off the ground, he hoped. If it didn’t work his death was for nothing, but it wasn’t likely he’d be around to see the world end if it failed. He could only have faith.
“Sorry, Boss. The guy rabbited,” he managed to find his voice. His hands were slack and numb as Fury took the gun from his hands. And he was sorry. He’d hoped the blast would at least stop the bastard, but it hadn’t. It probably hadn’t done much damage at all.
“Just stay awake,” said Nick, grabbing his face gently in his hand. “Eyes on me.”
But not even Nick Fury could will life back into his body. He was dying. He was close, and he would miss this. He would miss his best friend, he would miss being alive. They’d had a hell of a life together, and Coulson would have followed the man anywhere, but his story ended here.
“No, I’m clockin’ out here,” he said softly. Breathing was painful, and so was the look on his friend’s face. He didn’t want to leave him alone, but he hadn’t seen another option. Loki had to be stopped.
“Not an option,” said Fury, his good eye wide with determination and anger that was just so him. Coulson felt tears spring to his eyes. It was too bad, the pain he’d cause this man, the pain he’d cause everyone…Audrey. He wanted his last thoughts to be of Audrey and her smile, and the sound of her cello. The tears fell down his numbing cheeks.
“It’s ok, boss. This was never going to work if they didn’t have something…”
Something….
There was something….
“to…”
And time ran out.