Work Text:
The discussion had been going on for less than twenty minutes, and yet it felt like an eternity. Time had come to a grinding halt around them, interrupted only by the occasional sob from the girl who stood by the door, her back to them, but her shoulders visibly shaking. Richard’s heart went out to her. Cheria was a strong woman, but this…this had caused her to come undone. They were feelings that she and Richard shared. His gaze flickered to the man standing silent and still among them, one hand gripped in a fist - a testament of his resolve. He would go through with this, Richard had no doubt. He would willingly allow Lambda to take over his body in order to absorb the eleth from Fodra's core and bring about their victory.
Allowing Lambda…
"What about you, Richard?" Pascal asked, eyebrow quirked and head tilted to one side. They’d apparently been going over their options - or lack thereof, and wanted to know what Richard thought of the plan and Lambda’s words.
But Richard didn’t reply, and after a moment, the others must have realized that he didn’t intend to. Instead, he remained focused on Asbel…and Lambda. For some time, he’d been wondering if Lambda hadn’t been putting thoughts in the young lord’s mind, if Lambda might not be trying to trick Asbel in some way. Multiple scenarios had already played out in his mind. What if it was revealed that Lambda’s cooperation was only a ruse? What if the being changed his mind about his alliance with Asbel? What if even Lambda could not manage the flow of so much eleth? What if…
He still clearly remembered their time together, and the downward spiral as both he and Lambda had succumed to their feelings of bitterness and despair, to the most loathsome parts of themselves. And as time had passed, how it had become nearly impossible to distinguish one darkness from another. Richard didn’t want that. Not for Asbel. Asbel who had risked everything. Asbel who was kind and brave and trusting and pure. The distance dwindled between them, and the redhead lifted his head to meet Richard’s eyes.
The king measured his words carefully. “Asbel, are you absolutely sure about this?”
And yet, he already knew; there was only one answer to be had from the very beginning.
Asbel nodded, his gaze never wavering. “I am.”
He seemed so confident, so sure in spite of everything. How could Asbel believe in Lambda so easily after all that had happened? How could he so willingly risk himself this way? It was no different from before, when Asbel had wagered everything to protect Sophie, to give Lambda another chance, to save him.
And in truth, it was…too much.
Since childhood, Richard had been taught to conduct himself, to quell his emotions. And now it was all he could do to keep them in check. Wordlessly, he spun on his heel and walked from the room. Only the soft sounds of Cheria’s crying followed him out.
***
His footfalls echoed in the open spaces of Telos Astue. Richard had no particular destination in mind and no one had come after or tried to stop him. For that, Richard was both grateful and - if he was honest - just the slighest bit disappointed. Even still, he didn’t think he could face Asbel or any of his other companions at the moment. Not when he was teetering on the edge of losing his composure.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Asbel. Quite the opposite, in fact. But Richard couldn’t help but be wary of what might happen if things went wrong. And so many things could. Back there, he could have simultaneously rebuked Asbel for being so selfless and been moved to tears for the very same reason. His friend had never been one to sway in his convictions, and Richard was well aware that all he could do now was to come to terms with the decision - no matter how much he might disapprove. He certainly wasn’t the only one worried for Asbel’s well-being, and Asbel himself would need their support to see things through. For this, Asbel would need each and every one of them.
Richard raised a hand to his forehead and sighed, expelling some of the tension that had taken hold of him. It was only then that he caught a movement at the edge of his periphery and turned to find one of the numerous humanoids who inhabited the city watching him.
"Psi." The observation was soon confirmed with a slow, emphatic nod.
Richard mustered the smallest of smiles. “What brings you here?”
The young boy shook his head, lifting an arm to slowly point towards the closed door at the far end of the hallway.
"Ah," Richard fought back a grimmace. "Of course. I assume you’re wondering about our discussion. The others are still negotiating the details, but it appears we’ll be departing in the morning."
Psi continued to watch him, reminding Richard momentarily of Sophie. With another sigh, Richard continued. “Asbel means to absorb Fodra’s eleth so that we can stop Little Queen and prevent the core from spawning more monsters. He’s prepared to take a great risk and place his own life in danger, because he feels it’s the only thing he can do. Perhaps he’s right.”
Psi blinked wordlessly, and Richard lifted a gloved hand and gently rested it on top of the humanoid’s head.
"…In that moment I truly wanted to stop him. And yet, in the face of his resolve, I…couldn’t say a word. I don’t want to think about what would happen if the worst case scenario comes to pass. That…frightens me more than anything. Somehow, we must rise above the situation and find a way to successfully carry out this plan, for the sake of both Ephinea and Fodra."
Richard wondered if Psi could understand emotions like regret and fear. Did he feel sorrow knowing that his creator would not be returning, or hope that Fodra might one day flourish?
"…Asbel has always been an incredibly stubborn man. I suppose, then, there’s little point in worrying about failure, isn’t there? Let’s do whatever we can in order to help bring about that success. All right, Psi?"
The humanoid nodded again, and as Richard removed his palm, Psi turned and walked away. Richard suspected that he was going to the loading dock to check preparations of the shuttle and communicate with the other humanoids.
But despite the talk, and laying some of his own fears aside, Richard remained worried. He had no way of knowing what Lambda would or would not do. It was true that Lambda had aided them numerous times, and yet Richard had spent seven years with the ageless being. He knew just how easy it would be for the careful balance between them to shift. When they had been together, the feelings of one had directly affected the other, and before they knew it, those feelings had gone out of control… Of course, Asbel was not a bitter person. He held no resentment for anyone, and yet… what if their time together - his and Lambda’s - somehow made it more difficult for Asbel? What if those negative feelings remained? He couldn’t blame only Lambda for that…
Richard had spent a great deal of time and effort desperately trying to make amends for all that he had done, and yet, it seemed he was nowhere close to fully realizing his goals. The bright future he had envisioned for Windor was still far away. It would take a great deal of work, yet. But there was another debt, too, a much more personal matter that also eluded him. Asbel had stood up for and protected him. It seemed the least he could do to extend that same protection to Asbel. And yet, here he was… once again unable to do anything.
***
Richard roamed the halls for some time later, contemplating the morning and the journey ahead of them. Sleep was an abstract concept. Gradually, however, he became aware of approaching footsteps, and upon turning, recognized their owners immediately.
"Asbel, Sophie," he greeted.
Asbel didn’t seem too surprised to find him still awake, but he asked anyway. “Can’t sleep, Richard?”
Richard didn’t want his friends to worry needlessly about him, not when there was already so much weight resting on Asbel’s shoulders tomorrow. He hadn’t intended to voice his concerns in such a direct fashion, either, and yet, standing before his friends, his true feelings welled up and flowed from his lips. “I keep trying but I fear it’s a lost cause. I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow, about what I’d do if you ended up like…me.”
"I told you, that’s not going to happen." Asbel smiled for a brief second and continued with equal honesty. "Remember when we were young? It made me happy to know that you trusted me. When I grew up, I made one terrible mistake after another, but it helped me to know I could support you. Without that trust, I wouldn’t be the man I am now. It’s the same with Lambda. I need to trust him. I need to believe in whatever made him protect us."
Richard had to wonder precisely who it was that had made so many terrible mistakes. Compared to him, Asbel seemed blameless, and yet it was clear that his faults and shortcomings held great importance for the young man, like some kind of moral compass. Just as much, trust was important to him. Richard looked down at the floor. Trust was something Asbel had given him, something he had barely experienced before meeting Asbel. Perhaps then it was natural that he would extend this same trust to Lambda, regardless of the risks and without reservation.
"When Lambda was inside me, I was enslaved by him. All I did was rely on his power, and I…lost myself in our shared negative feelings. I wasn’t able to face him the way you can."
Asbel watched him, listening without interruption.
Richard could feel his composure threaten to crumble once more. Not allowing it to overtake him, he strode forward and carefully raised a hand to Asbel’s cheek, but—
Time seemed to stop, and a familar voice - a presence he knew quite well - spoke to his mind.
'We haven't spoken in a while, Richard. We used to feed off resentment, and it allowed our hatred to grow strong. We believed we could save the other from loneliness, but I don't need to tell you how that turned out. You and I are both indebted to this man. I will repay my debt. The path you choose is up to you.'
His debt…
"…Lambda." Richard drew his hand back. When he glanced back up at Asbel’s face, there was no sign that the other being had communicated with him at all. Richard took a breath. "Asbel, I just heard Lambda’s voice."
He turned to the pigtailed girl, now more sure of himself. “Sophie, I think Asbel and Lambda are actually getting along. You won’t have to fight him again.”
Mere months ago he wouldn’t have believed it, but Lambda had truly changed, of that Richard was sure. He felt no anger emanating from him, and despite his slightly mocking tone, Lambda’s words had held no true threat. Lambda was serious. Lambda, it seemed, was willing to try his hardest for Asbel. And if Lambda indeed planned on repaying his own debt, then…
"I’ve decided to place my trust in Lambda as well," he said, and before he knew it, a small smile was gracing his face.
"Thanks, Richard." Asbel smiled back.
'Can you hear me Lambda? I know that I failed you, and so you may not care what I have to say. But…please. Please keep Asbel safe.' For a moment afterwards, Asbel’s left eye seemed to glow, and Richard got the distinct feeling that Lambda had heard him. Then, they were in agreement.
"Cheria." Sophie announced.
Asbel’s head turned. “Hmm? What is is, Sophie?”
The girl pointed in the direction of the lift which was being boarded by one of their companions. Cheria didn’t look up at them, but from this distance, she had appeared to have recovered from earlier.
"Oh, you’re right."
"I’m going to go talk to her." Sophie decided, looking from Asbel to Richard.
Asbel nodded. “Okay. I’ll be up in a bit.”
"Goodnight Richard."
"Yes… Sleep well, Sophie."
Sophie bobbed quickly and hurried off, pigtails trailing behind her as the two men watched her go. To think they were still together eight years later. At the time, Richard had never doubted that their friendship pact held some kind of magic, but it felt like centuries ago. Sophie was right. Without a doubt, someday soon, Richard wished to return to Lhant Hill and renew their friendship pact - all three of them. He didn’t want to spend so much time separated from them ever again.
Asbel looked back to Richard.
"Something’s still on your mind."
Richard didn’t reply at first. Asbel and Lambda’s words had aided in alleviating his concerns somewhat, however, that was only a small part of it.
"Call it friendly concern."
"Richard…"
"Please understand that I trust you, Asbel. And I know that Lambda will also do what he can. However, there is still a possibility that complications will arise tomorrow. When I drained the valkines cryas, even with Lambda controlling the flow of eleth, the effect was quite…painful. Asbel, are you certain you’ll be able to handle it?"
"It’ll be all right." Asbel answered. "I already knew it wasn’t going to be easy. But it does kind of sound like I’m putting most of the responsibility off on Lambda, huh?"
"Asbel."
"I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit afraid. But we’re all here together, working for the future of Ephinea, and Fodra, and for our own futures. That’s another reason why I have to do this. I need to do whatever I can to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible." The redhead laid a careful hand on his friend’s shoulder. "But…thanks."
Richard blinked. “What for?”
"I don’t know. For worrying about me, I guess? I never really noticed before how much trouble I was putting you and the others through by making this decision." Asbel offered him a half-smile. "Sorry."
"You don’t need to apologize for that."
Richard hesitated, then pulled the other man close. At first, Asbel stood stiffly in his arms, not sure of what to do, but after a moment, Richard felt him relax. They stood like that, not saying a word. Asbel had grown a little taller, Richard noticed, and beneath the clean scent of soap lay a hint of cologne, no doubt a recommendation of Malik’s and possibly Cheria’s as well.
"Just make sure that you and Lambda succeed, Asbel. We still have our friendship pact to renew, correct?"
Asbel closed his eyes, his expression softening. “Yeah, of course.”
After a time, Richard loosened his hold on him, taking a step back and brushing the hair from his eyes. When Asbel glanced up at him questioning, he only smiled.
"All right. In that case, I will see you and our companions in the morning. Good night, Asbel. Lambda."
"Night, Richard. Sleep well."
With a last glance back, Richard turned and began walking towards the group’s shared sleeping quarters which he recalled were crowded but serviceable. To say that Asbel had not changed in all this time was both true and incorrect. Asbel had matured into an upstanding lord, and Richard regretted that he had not been present for most of it. He would not make that mistake again. He would surely find a way to repay this man for his kindness so that he could watch the future he created for himself.