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Susie laid in bed after a long day. The four panels of her window cast extended moonlight across her bed, projected in long and trembling angles. The clothes and junk and other paraphernalia strewn across the floor did nothing to perturb the sense she felt inside of something. Throughout her life she had felt this sensation at times of distress – a feeling on the outer parts of her legs and inner parts of her arm. The feeling wasn’t too dissimilar to pins-and-needles, but had much more of a floaty feeling to it, as if her limbs were about to dematerialise into the ether – sleep paralysis without the sleeping part. Usually on nights like this, alone as she was, nothing else would bubble up in her mind other than thoughts of resentments at classmates, herself, and the world. But this night was different. Today was different. Going into that closet with Kris, entering that world below – time must have been slowed in that world, for it seemed like the adventure they experienced had lasted an eternity, let alone a single day’s afternoon.
What the hell actually had happened today? Her faculties were too exhausted to properly process the experience, but she felt like something deep within her subconscious had finally been unlocked, something that she had squashed and shunned and locked up in a neat little box deep within the depths of her own psyche. Of course, like everything else in her life, the journey had started out as just another inconvenience. Of course there was another world under the school, of course she had to deal with two lumbering buffoons in order to escape back to reality, of course-
But some sort of deep perceptual shift had happened during their time together. Ralsei, no longer a whiny little annoyance, had become something more of a moral support for her during their adventure down in the dungeons. Despite her best attempts to scare him off, he always had that stupid sense of naïve optimism. Faith that she could change around for the better and that deep down, Susie really was a good person. After being typecast for so many years by others and by consequence herself, how was he able to see her so differently? See her without any perceptual barriers, without all of the smoke and mirrors she threw up in front of herself.
Of course Susie was lonely, and of course she knew this about herself. But she would only allow herself to see this when the fragments of her mind aligned like the shattered glass of a prism to construct an image of clarity. Like the image of the moon over a serene body of water – without ripples or disturbances. It was rare that she was able to get proper glimpses at herself like this, but when she did, it deeply terrified her. Although she had been as reckless and forthright as a young kid (much to the chagrin of her father and other vague adults in her life), she had started using her personality as a means of defence against the outer world, until she was her own prison guard, keeping herself locked up from anyone possibly affecting her life. That is, until the events of today.
The thoughts played upon Susie’s tired, tired mind. And despite their provocation, she did eventually fall asleep. The future felt uncertain, but underneath all of the psychic turmoil she was going through, she felt the strangest inkling of a promise for a better day tomorrow.