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Yukhei kind of figured he was cool. Like not super cool, definitely not as cool as Yuta, but enough to know that memes from Facebook were practically the acne of the internet.
Well, Yukhei thought he was cool, until Kun invited him over for a Sunday afternoon gathering, whatever the hell that was, and of course he could bring Mark, and no he did not have a grudge against Mr. Lee.
Now Yukhei wasn’t dumb. He taught at least 150 students everyday and took care of his brothers. His brain was constantly in a state of numbers mania. He knew Kun was a classy, indie type of guy. He had a fucking bullet journal of all things and his students had told him that every time Kun subbed when there was a test, he played classical music to soothe their nerves.
So, Yukhei yanked a nice sweater on and some jeans that Mark had told him were, “So nice they don’t even look like they’re from Old Navy!”, and the two drove to Kun’s condo prepared to eat some raw veggies and ranch.
What the couple hadn’t expected was to see their city’s most recognizable news anchor in the doorway of Kun’s condo, white dog curled in his arms.
“Holy fuck,” Mark whispered. He leaned close to Yukhei’s ear. “That’s fucking Ten from Channel Six.”
Ten giggled and held the door open. “I am fucking Ten from Channel Six. Come on in, guys. Do you want plain water or La Croix ?”
Walking into Kun’s condo was like walking into one of those fake houses you see in magazines or the ones that get renovated on HGTV. There were huge open windows in every room, portraits of the couple hanging above the fireplace, one of those cool Samsung refrigerators, and a Roomba .
“Uh, tap is fine?” Mark tried. Yukhei noticed him fidgeting and grabbed his hand.
Ten set the dog on the floor and padded into the kitchen, bare feet slapping against the hardwood. “Make yourselves at home, guys.”
Yukhei turned to Mark. “We’re too poor to be in here.”
Mark slumped on the leather couch. “I can’t believe I pulled a senior prank on Mr. Qian. They seem like they make their own toothpaste.”
“We tried it once, but it was disgusting,” Kun strolled in wearing a beanie and cuffed jeans. “It’s wonderful to see you again, Mark.”
Mark rubbed at his temples and Yukhei felt so bad. “You don’t mean that, Mr. Qian.”
“Despite smelling like sardines for a week, I truly enjoyed being your Calculus substitute while your teacher was out on maternity leave.”
Yukhei glanced down at his phone, desperate to find a distraction amidst the chaos. A text from Renjun appears.
Renjun
Uh pls call me like asap lmao
“Once, I stood up in the middle of class and called you a sixty year-old virgin.”
“Sorry to interrupt this engaging reunion, but I just need to check up on my brothers really quickly,” Yukhei said as Ten walked in with three cans of La Croix and a glass of water with a lemon wedge.
“Go ahead! Mark and I have a lot of catching up to do.”
Yukhei excused himself and made it to the kitchen. He Facetimed Renjun immediately.
“What’s going on?”
Renjun grimaced as a scream is made audible. “So, I may have invited some friends over…”
Yukhei could already tell where this was going.
“... and one of them may have been Jaemin…”
“Renjun, for fucks sake… Have he and Chenle started fighting yet?”
Renjun looked up and back down at Yukhei. “Um, no not yet. They’re just yelling right now. What should I do? I thought Chenle was going over Jeno’s.”
Yukhei searched a brain for a solution. The last time Jaemin and Chenle had seen each other off of the lacrosse field was at the Thanksgiving 5k run. They’d thrown cups of Gatorade at each other the entire five kilometers.
“Just go shopping with Jaemin and leave Chenle there.”
Renjun rolled his eyes. “You idiot. You took the car to pick Mark up.”
“Then call Donghyuck and it can be like a truddy date.”
“A what?”
“Like buddies, but there’s three. A truddy. Didn’t Mom and Dad send you to summer camp?”
Renjun breathed in deeply. “You know what, nevermind. I’ll just call Hyuckie like you said.”
“Cool. Keep me posted.”
“Okay, gramps,” Renjun said before hanging up.
When Yukhei walked back into the living room, Mark and Kun seemed to be in a heated debate while Ten sat in the leather recliner, nervously sipping his sparkling water.
“Oh, is everything okay?” Mark paused to ask. “Jun and Chenle alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, Jaemin’s just loitering.” Mark made a face at that. He knew the dangers of placing Chenle and Jaemin in a room together all too well.
Just as Mark was about to resume his argument with Kun, Ten turned the TV on, Wii music at full volume. “Before you two rip each other’s heads off, why don’t we golf first?”
*
Renjun watched in disdain as Chenle bought a third Auntie Anne’s pretzel since they’d been at the mall. He’d tried to force his younger brother to stay at home, but that only resulted in more fighting, and Renjun had already popped two Advils since noon.
Donghyuck wrapped an arm around his waist and Renjun relaxed a bit. “You look nice today.”
“I’m wearing sweatpants I haven’t washed in a week and a half.”
Donghyuck laughed. “Hot.”
“Have you seen Jaemin?” He had disappeared as soon as they had arrived, not even bothering to say where he was going.
“Don’t worry about him,” Chenle said through a mouth full of chewed up pretzel. “Let him rot in hell.”
“Chew with your mouth closed, demon.”
Chenle stuck his tongue. Bits of pretzel were still glued to it. Donghyuck gagged.
“He said wanted to buy a hoodie while we were in the car,” Chenle said.
Renjun clapped his hands. “All right. Let’s go find him.”
*
“Ten, I am so sorry,” Mark said for around the twentieth time.
Ten said nothing, just continued scrubbing at the spot in the white rug furiously. Kun rubbed his back gently.
“Can spinach dip even stain rugs?” Yukhei wondered aloud. Ten glared up at him. “Oh really, it can? Interesting.”
“It’s getting kind of late,” Kun said. “Ten has to be at the station in a couple of hours and you have class in the morning. Let’s just call it a night.”
Yukhei and Mark walked sadly out of the condo, Yukhei’s Spongebob keychain making jingling noises every time they stepped.
“I wanted to get a selfie with him,” Mark whispered mid-way through their car ride home. “Stupid spinach dip.”
“You can always get a selfie with me,” Yukhei offered.
Mark leaned back on his headrest. “Just forget it. Also,” he continued, “Don’t take me home right away. I wanna play Just Dance to burn this embarrassment off.”
Yukhei rubbed Mark’s leg. “Okay. Wanna listen to JB right now?”
“Yeah. Make sure it’s My World 2.0 , though.”
As soon as they walked into Yukhei’s house, Chenle ran past them with a pack of frozen vegetables held up to his eye.
“He and Jaemin were fighting over a jacket in the middle of Nordstrom and the sales lady wacked him in the eye with a hanger,” Renjun explained.
“Did she get fired?”
Renjun nodded sadly. “Yeah. Feel kinda bad for her. She seemed chill. How was Kun’s?”
Yukhei threw his keys somewhere on the floor and curled up on the couch. “They pretty much hate us now.”
“They?” Renjun questioned.
“He’s like engaged to Ten from Channel Six,” Mark said.
“Damn. I always knew Kun was hipster but Ten? That’s hella hipster.”
“Don’t use hella ,” Yukhei winced. Over half of his students used that phrase to describe any and every thing.
“Anyway, how was he?”
Mark groaned. “Their life is like a damn stock image.”
Renjun considered this for a moment. “Hmm. Makes sense.” His phone buzzed. “Oh, this is Hyuckie, I gotta take it. Good night, Mark!” He rushed up the stairs.
Mark lifted the Just Dance disc. “ Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne?”
Yukhei smiled and tumbled off of the couch. “Oh, hell yeah. Turn the volume up.”