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The clock strikes midnight and Kouta cannot sleep.
It hadn’t happened for a while, for years even. He hasn’t gotten a restless night since… years ago, when he left.
Just the thought of him makes his heart twist in sadness; all he wants is to see him again, to wake up to Reo’s gentle eyes gazing at him, like he’s the most handsome man in the world. Sometime after he left and Kouta complained about it to his now former-coworker Nonomiya, the latter joked he might just be missing that freeloader because now his house isn’t as clean or because he has to cook his own meals.
And he’s not entirely wrong… He does miss that.
But what he misses the most is everything else… He misses waking up to the smell of delicious homemade cooking, to the soft hum of Reo as he sets up the table, with a gentle smile and soft steps as to not disturb the sleeping salaryman. He remembers the one time he managed to get up without making noise, sneaking towards Reo and blowing a puff of air on his ear. Kouta can never forget his reaction, how he let out a small surprised yelp and promptly covered his ear, looking back at Kouta with a surprised expression and a light blush forming on his cheeks, before giggling softly.
Kouta can’t help but smile at the memory, but that smile dies when he realizes how long it had been since then. How long he spent looking for Reo but never found him. He had to give up on his search, his friends and family were concerned about him, but he should’ve kept trying; now all he has is a bitter feeling in his gut, that maybe he could’ve found Reo if he just kept trying…
Then again, there’s no point worrying about that now. He brushes those thoughts aside as best he can, and falls to a light sleep.
-
Kouta rolls over on his futon, groaning and rubbing his eyes as he scans the room for his clock; he can’t quite see the hour, but he knows its late. He turns over to try and sleep again but he’s wide awake when Reo is not asleep, but rather sitting up, back hunched over and breathing rather heavily.
“Reo…?” He flinches, appears to quickly wipe his mouth and turns back, with his usual carefree smile on his face.
“Sorry, did I wake you?” Kouta shakes his head slightly. He feels a small, sharp pain on the side of his neck but he ignores it for now. His expression must be very clear, as Reo chuckles before speaking again. “I’m okay, go back to sleep.”
“Are you sure?” Reo just nods and Kouta feels like he’s not okay, but he also won’t bulge so there's no point in insisting. “Okay… Good night...”
“Sleep well~”
-
A sudden gasp for breath and Kouta is once again awake.
Just a dream, huh…
He runs his hands through his hair, noting how sweaty he is and he tries to fall back to a slumber until a voice surprises him. A voice all too familiar, that he could never forget.
“Bad dream?” Koutas eyes are wide open as he stares at the man sitting next to him.
Reo. Smiling casually like it hadn’t been years since he left.
Kouta tries to sit up quickly, too fast and it makes him feel slightly dizzy. Reo frowns and puts his hand on Kouta’s chest, pushing him to lay on his back again. The feeling is there, he feels his cold hand through the thin fabric of his clothes, and it just dawns on him that this isn’t a dream.
He really is there.
Reo came back and Kouta feels like crying.
“It’s...” His voice breaks, and he coughs to disguise it. “It’s really you...” Reo just chuckles in response.
“Yes… Sorry to keep you waiting.” There’s so many questions Kouta wants to ask, and all of them seem equally important so he’s just stuck there, mouth agape with no words coming out. “I… should’ve come sooner.”
Now it’s Kouta’s turn to laugh. “That’s an understatement. But,” he reaches to grab Reo’s hand, cold and dainty. The same hand he remembers holding years back; the same hand he missed. “You’re here now...”
“Thank you… I’m sure you have questions...” Kouta nods with an obvious look on his eyes, of course I do, and Reo just squeezes his hand. “But it’s late… Get some rest, we can talk tomorrow...”
Kouta frowns, he doesn’t want to sleep now, even if his eyes are burning and begging for some proper rest. “But-”
“I won’t leave.” Reo uses his other hand to stroke Kouta’s face gently, letting it linger on his cheek. “I’ll be here when you wake up, and we can catch up.”
“You promise?”
“Yes.” He kisses Kouta’s hand, his lips are cold, so cold but the warmth spreading through Kouta’s heart makes up for it. “I won’t leave you again...”
“Thank you...” Kouta’s eyes start to flutter shut, before he opens them again. “Reo, I-”
“I know...” Reo’s smiling again, like he always is, and he tightens his grip on Kouta’s hand. “Me too Kouta… Me too.”
“I’m glad… So… glad” Kouta manages to mumble before falling asleep, and Reo can’t help staring at his face, suddenly glad he decided to come. He really did miss him.
His trance is broken by the heart rate monitor suddenly beeping, before finally flatlining. He sees Kouta’s chest stops moving, his grip on Reo’s hand is no longer there. Reo sets his hand on the bed gently, as he feels his eyes burn with the tears he’s been holding back since he entered the hospital room.
He leans down to kiss Kouta’s forehead. A few of his tears roll from his cheeks and onto Kouta’s peaceful face.
“I love you too… My first and only friend... My first and last love.”