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If You're the Coffee

Summary:

"Well, we are going to be working together a lot. It would be nice, you know, to learn more about you. More than I can learn from your Instagram." Yuuri chuckled softly.

"You took a peak? How'd you like it?" Viktor said as he waggled his eyebrows at the man. He was honestly curious what Yuuri thought of him physically.

"It's kind of . . . What's the word . . . Provocative? Yeah, that's a good word. You tend to show off a lot of skin." Yuuri stated.

"And is provocative a bad thing?"

"It can be."

"Oh, come on! People love the sexy cop." Viktor exclaimed as he turned the vehicle onto the highway, heading back to the beginning of their route.

"I don't think anybody loves cops right now." Yuuri mumbled. "But that is beside the point."

Police Officer AU/One Shot/Humor and Fluff

Notes:

So, I finished up Mafia AU. And I did have this dumb prompt sitting forever that I wanted to mess with. So I toyed with the story I kind of had set up with it and came up with this guy. Titled after the song If You're the Coffee by the Arcadian Wild. The prompt is:

 

"Put the murder weapon down. And yes, I am aware that it is a toaster."

 

I hope y'all enjoy this little one shot! As always reviews and kudos is always appreciated. <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Viktor didn't do rookies.

Why did Christophe have to go and get promoted to Vice? They were just fine together! The pride of the station and that wasn't because they were heavily featured on the charity calendar this year. Not to mention for five years in a row. It was because they actually did fantastic work, unlike some of the slackers he knew.

As fun as the photo shoot for the calendar was, he knew his looks were going to get him nowhere in a job like this. He wasn't blind. He knew what he looked like and constantly on calls he would get the occasional flirt feeling up his uniform or numbers slipped into his pocket. He told himself he didn't have time for that every time he called a number. But after being alone for so long it was nice to be wanted for a week or two. They soon would fizzle out of his life because of his crazy schedule or they grow bored. His life was the streets of Detroit and the crime within it in the end. He wanted to rise the ranks, to be the best.

But Christophe swept that away from his hands. Little brownnosing bastard. He couldn't help but be happy for his friend, but still felt cheated in a way.

"Nikiforov, are you even listening?"

"What?"

"Jesus Christ, Viktor." The elderly man sighed from behind his obscenely large desk.

"What did you say, Cap?"

"I said the newbie would be in soon. I trust you'll get a report on my desk a week from today on how he does on patrol."

Viktor waved his hand absentmindedly and went to stand.

"I'm not done with you yet."

Viktor groaned and slumped back into his chair. His handcuffs clinking against the chair arm as he went down. He rubbed a hand over his face and rolled his eyes at his superior officer. The old man had to retire at some point. He had been the captain for as long as Viktor could remember. Seven years on the job, and here he was still staring back at the same decrepit face.

"This isn't his first rodeo. He's just transferring from a different state. I just want to see how he mixes with you as a partner since you seem to have been . . . difficult as of late especially with those late night emails. You gotta quit that. Emails only during work hours!"

"What do you mean difficult?" Viktor responded promptly.

"Failure to comply with other officers. Being late. Your attitude. The late night emails!"

"I don't have an attitude." Viktor replied back sourly. "Also, I don't know what you're talking about with the emails."

"Oh, come on. You act like you run this fucking place. Giacometti getting that promotion over you was because he kept his nose down and followed orders. The uppers saw how you back sass me and laugh it off. That's what finalized their decision. Now, go meet the new guy. He's at his desk now."

Viktor grumbled to himself as he was finally able to stand. He cradled his paperwork between his armpits as he bowed to the Captain and swore he heard the old man mumble something under his breath. He exited the office clearly agitated since the first person to bound over to him was Mila. Her bouncing red locks held back by a scrunchie as she hooked around Viktor's arm with her cat-like claws.

"Yakov must have really let into you. Your face is all red and splotchy."

Viktor rolled his eyes as her grip tightened around his brawny arm. She just followed suit as she was basically dragged next to him. She rambled on and on about something she had did over the weekend with her girlfriend. Viktor wasn't comprehending any of it as he rounded the corner to his desk. He hated the placement of his new desk. It was the first thing you would see on this precinct floor, and he regularly had to greet patrons like a secretary. After Christophe had abandoned him, he was forced over to the front of the floor being banished from his previous window side desk.

"Oh! Is that your new partner?" Mila said in a hushed tone as she stopped in her tracks thus halting Viktor. He shook his arm free of her grasp as he squinted to get a better look at the new guy.

His back was to him, but he could only see broad shoulder leading up to a mop of ebony hair. The guy turned around at the exact moment as he slipped a ball cap over his head. The bill was bent so much Viktor could barely catch his features as the guy sat down. Already hard at work typing away at his desktop.

Great another brown noser, Viktor thought.

Mila jumped in first and startled the guy. He jerked in his chair and took off his distinctive hat when he stood. Viktor stopped dead in his tracks with clenched hands at his side.

Goddammit. He's attractive too, Viktor mused. He had a slight tan probably came from somewhere on the West Coast. He actually had flawless skin as Viktor's eyes traced his features more intently. His hair was pitch black but it was slicked back a bit by some sort of gel. A few strands had untucked themselves from his tresses when he removed his hat. His eyes lit up as Mila bombarded him with greetings.

"Yuuri Katsuki. It's a pleasure."

Shit, he's even polite. And had a slight accent. Viktor couldn't pinpoint it, but it was definitely foreign.

Mila pulled away to point at Viktor who really just wanted to dig a hole and crawl in there until he died. He had spent way too long just staring at the attractive man. He was sure he was caught in his antics, but Katsuki calmly sauntered up to him. Viktor had to crane his neck down a bit since the man was a few inches shorter than him. He smiled sweetly at him and pointed to his nametag on Viktor's chest.

"You must be Sergeant Nikiforov. It's a pleasure." Before sticking out a hand.

Viktor rolled his eyes at the same greeting and patted the man on the shoulder as he moved past him.

"We're partners. You can call me Viktor."

Yuuri blinked at him a few times. He seemed daze by his outstretched hand being left unshaken, but he plastered that same smile on his face as he moved back over to the desks. Viktor grabbed a few items off his--sunglasses, his favorite pen, and his tattered notepad. He really just wanted to get out on the road and get the day over with already. He almost moaned at the taste of his coffee as he chugged some of it down; waiting for Yuuri to finish whatever he was messing with on his computer. He was clacking away at the keys with deft fingers before shutting down the machine.

"I'm ready, sir." He stated as he slipped his hat back on and held onto the front of his vest with both hands. Viktor sighed and swung the squad keys around his forefinger they chimed nosily as he kept swinging them. He cocked his hip as he settled on his weight on his left leg. His right leg was growing sore already. Yuuri inquisitively glanced down to his right leg and back up at the Sergeant.

"Let's go." Viktor gruffly said as he led the way to the cars. The parking garage wasn't that large, so it was easy to find their vehicle. It was still littered with coffee cups and some Burger King wrappers on the passenger seat. Viktor clambered into the driver's side and yelped as his knee smashed into the dashboard. He hissed as he rubbed the sore spot whilst spewing curses.

"Jesus Christ, who fucked with the car?" He murmured as he blindly flailed for the handle to adjust his seat. He found it rather quickly and slammed the seat back as far as it would go. He sighed contently before glancing over to the passenger seat.

Yuuri was cleaning up all the Styrofoam cups and Whopper wrappers with a small plastic bag clutched in his hands. Viktor stammered as he reached over to grab the fifth wrapper before he could throw it away. Yuuri's hand came out to clutch it at the same time. Viktor immediately released the wrapper and let Yuuri toss it into the bag. Yuuri had a tiny smirk on his face as he tied up the bag and launched it into the backseat.

"So, I'm guessing you're a fan of Burger King?" Yuuri chuckled as he properly fastened his seatbelt.

Viktor placed his hand on the back of Yuuri's headrest as he turned to look behind him. The coast was clear so he began backing out of the spot. He jerked the car back into gear. The motion set Yuuri flying backwards in his seat hands gripping the door and the center console.

"It's okay, I guess." Viktor finally retorted with a shrug once they were on the road.

"Hmm, all right."

Viktor stole a glance at the man after his words and wanted to rub that smirk off his charming face. How dare he judge his life style? It didn't matter if he ate forty Whoppers and a Diet Coke. At least he went to the gym every day . . . that had to count for something even if he spent a good chunk of time finding the right lighting for his gym selfies. He couldn't deny his loyal followers on Instagram.

They had driven around a bit in complete silence except for when Viktor stopped at a local coffee joint. They clambered out of the car with Viktor slipping on his sunglasses and Yuuri with that damn hat. It was just a plain hat; Viktor didn't see the big deal. He also didn't understand why Yuuri kept playing with the damn thing. He fiddled with it the entire time in the car. Bending the rim over and over, taking it on and off. The hat looked like it had been through seven washes and dragged through a cornfield. Yuuri put it on backwards this time and followed right on Viktor's heels.

The place was dead. It was usually that way since this side of town wasn't particularly the best. Not many store fronts were getting business these days with bigger chains moving in. Viktor leaned against the counter while pushing his sunglasses down the ridge of his nose. The man behind the counter was less than enthused. He kept his same solemn expression as Viktor just stared back.

"Lee. It's noon. You know the deal. Where's my bagel and coffee?" Viktor stated. He glanced back at Yuuri who had his arms crossed just observing. "Oh, and whatever he's having."

"We're out of bagels today, Vik. What would you like instead?"

Viktor gasped as he leaned back and held a hand to his chest.

"Out . . . of . . . bagels? How dare you break my heart like that, Lee?" Viktor whined. Yuuri grasped his hat once more and began wringing the item within his hands. Viktor noticed the action and cocked his head to the side a bit. He'd forget it for now. He still was distraught over his lunch.

"Do you have the lemon poppy seed muffins?"

"No."

Gasp. "What about the egg burritos?"

"No."

Another gasp.

Viktor waved his hands in the air dramatically and slammed his palms down on the counter top. "Do you have anything but coffee today, Seung-gil?!"

"No."

"Oh goddammit. Fine. Two coffees, black." Viktor held up two fingers as he dug around for his wallet.

"Actually, can I just get a water?" Yuuri piped up from behind him. Viktor threw a glance over his shoulder with a confused expression plastered on his face.

"You haven't had coffee today. How do you stay awake?"

"Well, having a cold glass of water in the morning is just as effective in waking you up." Yuuri said in a chipper tone. Viktor wanted to mock him a little bit-just to tease, but he looked so happy with his small fact. He actually had a tint of blush across his face after speaking, and Viktor found it quite endearing.

"Fine, a water for my rather parched partner."

Once caffeine was running through Viktor's system again he felt better. Even Yuuri toying with the hat wasn't bothering him so much anymore. They still hadn't received a call all day, so it was beginning to drag. They had circled the same block at least four times. Yuuri proudly pointed it out to him and that forced Viktor to troll around elsewhere.

"Hey, you know that game twenty questions?" Yuuri randomly called out. Viktor lowered the music on the radio as he relaxed farther into his seat.

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Well, we are going to be working together a lot. It would be nice, you know, to learn more about you. More than I can learn from your Instagram." Yuuri chuckled softly.

"You took a peak? How'd you like it?" Viktor said as he waggled his eyebrows at the man. He was honestly curious what Yuuri thought of him physically.

"It's kind of . . . What's the word . . . Provocative? Yeah, that's a good word. You tend to show off a lot of skin." Yuuri stated.

"And is provocative a bad thing?"

"It can be."

"Oh, come on! People love the sexy cop." Viktor exclaimed as he turned the vehicle onto the highway, heading back to the beginning of their route.

"I don't think anybody loves cops right now." Yuuri mumbled. "But that is beside the point."

"All right, all right. Your game. How do we play it?"

"It's pretty straight forward in the name, Viktor."

That was the first time he had called him by his name. It made Viktor squirm in happiness a bit. Yuuri was absurdly attractive--he ws trying desperately to ignore that fact. However, Victor was slowly being enamored by his voice. Even when it was singing slightly out of the tune to the radio or him just sprouting random facts suddenly.

"So, who goes first?" Viktor questioned once he pulled himself back to reality by coming to a halt at a red light.

"Since I'm new. You can go first."

Viktor thought on a question for a few moments as the car lurched back to life.

"What would be your ideal way to spend a day off?" Viktor asked. His train of thought had led him back to his last day off. Mostly fighting off a hangover, but it had been productive day of doing absolutely nothing; his favorite thing. He suspected Yuuri was the type to meticulously clean everything and set up with a novel. He just radiated that energy.

"Going to the shooting range or backpacking. I had just come back from a trip in the Rockies before coming here." Yuuri stated with such ease. Viktor was a bit stunned by his answer. Gripping the steering wheel a bit harder he chuckled.

"I always wanted to get into backpacking, but I have to take it easy with my knee sometimes."

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"Ah, it's okay. This guy kicked in my second year on the job. It has never felt the same, so I try and keep it relaxed as possible."

"I noticed you favored the one leg already. I'm sorry that happened to you."

"Hey, it happens with the job! I'm sure you got some stories. What's your craziest one?"

"Hey! It's my turn." Yuuri exclaimed. Viktor waved it off and waited for his question.

"Hmm. Cats or dogs?"

"Dogs." Viktor didn't skip a beat at that question. He gently tapped his wallet sitting under the radio with his right hand. "I have a poodle. His picture is in there."

Yuuri leaped at the wallet to flip through the few pictures Viktor had in there. He finally landed on Makkachin's photo and cooed at her. Note to self-bring Makkachin to work, Viktor thought as he laughed wholeheartedly.

"She's so pretty. I agree with you on dogs. Cats are overrated."

"Right?! Someone finally understands." Viktor replied. He turned to look at Yuuri once more. His wallet had been replaced by the hat once more. Yuuri was turning it over and over in his hands, playing with a rogue string on the brim. "What's your favorite article of clothing you own?"

"What?"

"My question. Favorite piece of clothing?" Viktor reiterated.

"Oh! Um," Yuuri stared at his hands, and then held up the navy blue hat. "It would be this hat."

"I'm unsurprised. Do you have to replace those things every few months by how you treat them?" Viktor chuckled.

"Yeah, I do. I, um, it helps calm me down. I have--had really bad anxiety when I was kid. I played baseball back in Japan. I used to get so nervous when I got up to bat that I would refuse to go until my Dad handed me his hat one day. I had to be around eight years old. It was navy blue just like this one. He told me to put all my fears into the hat with my hands."

Viktor was a bit taken by his little spiel. Honestly, it sort of terrified him for a second. He was gifted with a nervous partner. How lovely, but Yuuri reached over to grab his hand that was resting on the gear shift.

"I'm not nervous about the job. Trust me. I've done this for three years anxiety free. I have more of a social anxiety now. I was honestly intimidated by you. Let alone be put as your partner." Yuuri rubbed the skin on the back of Viktor's hand as he spoke. Viktor took a second to pull over to the side of the street.

"Why were you intimidated by me?" Viktor asked.

"It's my turn."

Viktor rolled his eyes as he sat back and removed his hand from the gear shift to only grab his delicious coffee. He sipped it a few times as he stared back at Yuuri.

"When people look at you, what do you think they see?"

Viktor cocked his head to the side at the question. He wasn't really prepared for one like this. He had a hard time thinking of an answer. He knew what people saw on the surface, but he suddenly realized nobody, not even Christophe, knew what he was really like.

"Pig. Cop. Poepoe."

"No, no. When they look at you."

"I'm not understanding."

"Viktor, I have to be honest." Yuuri started as Viktor's eyes widened. "I've--"

"All Units in Sector 4. We have a 5300. Requesting a squad car at the following address--"[1]

Viktor instantly reached for the radio and yanked the mouth piece towards him.

"Squad Car 3 responding. En route to address given." Viktor stated dully into the comm, and then swerved the car out of the parking spot. He leaned over to Yuuri's side to flick the switches on the dash to illuminate the lights. They didn't need sirens since the call wasn't in distress. It was just a simple disturbance call. Nothing too serious hopefully. They arrived to a dingy apartment building and immediately Viktor could hear hollering. He stepped out of the vehicle and squinted his eyes to see what apartment the noise was coming from.

A frail woman was standing at the bottom of the stairs, and she pointed up to the room. "Apartment 701. They've been at it all day."

"Thank you," Yuuri said to the woman before he started up the stairs. Viktor hurried after him and took two steps at a time to keep up with him. Yuuri was the first to reach the door, and he stood on one side while he nodded to the other side. Viktor was impressed with Yuuri's ability to hone in on the task at hand. He was actually pretty calm during the situation and just radiated confidence. It was an odd shift to see. Viktor pressed his back against the wall behind him and used his right foot to bang against the door.

"Detroit Police!" He exclaimed. It seemed all the commotion inside stopped, but he could hear a few steps moving towards the front entrance. He noticed that Yuuri had his hand on his gun with the holster undone. Viktor mimicked the action just in case.

The door swung open wildly and a black haired man answered. He was breathing heavily as groaned happily.

"Thank god, you're here. She won't leave!" The man said as he motioned for the police to come inside. Viktor and Yuuri glanced at each other, but followed carefully inside. The man simply pointed to the kitchen and they could see what was indeed a woman. She was however trying to shove a bunch of kitchen utensils in a box while screeching incoherently.

"Isabelle, the police are here. Please--you have to leave."

"I'm not leaving without my stuff, JJ! You bastard!" She screamed as she flung a cup in his direction. Both Yuuri and Viktor dodged the cup that blew past JJ's head. Yuuri was the first to step forward with his hands held out in front of him.

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to put down the weapon."

"Yuuri, that's a-"

"Yes, I'm aware that's a toaster." He smoothly said. Soon as he finished, his sentence said toaster was being whipped at JJ. Viktor stepped out from behind the man and caught the item before it could clobber the guy. He gently plopped it onto the dining room table as he stepped up with Yuuri.

"Ma'am, what's going on here? Maybe we can help." Viktor said.

"This bastard sleeps with someone else and has the audacity to tell me to leave!"

Both Yuuri and Viktor turn to give JJ a look. Both their eyebrows are raised in question. Viktor crossed his arms over his chest in a disapproving stance. JJ's face falls as he hears the words fall from Isabelle's mouth.

"Dude," Yuuri starts.

"Not cool." Viktor finished Yuuri's sentence while swaying his head. Both of the officers looked very disapprovingly at him, but Yuuri turned back to Isabelle with a wide grin.

"Are both your names on the lease?"

"Yes,"

Viktor shared a knowing look with Yuuri as he circles around to stand behind JJ. He slaps both of his hands on the shorter man's shoulders and directs him to the door. JJ tried to fight back a bit, but Viktor's grip was strong.

"I think you should give your girlfriend some space as she clears her stuff out."

Yuuri was trailing behind with a laugh falling from his lips. "Give her a night, man. Come back in the morning."

"No! I didn't mean to--it's just--ah!" JJ stuttered before behind pushed roughly to the stairs. Both Viktor and Yuuri stood at the top blocking him from coming back. JJ stared at them with squinted eyes, and then huffed an angered breath.

"Fine!"

He slowly clambered down the stairs mumbling all the way down. Isabelle not even seconds later poked her head out of the apartment. She held out two cups of coffee for them. Viktor kindly accepted and Yuuri declined along with an explanation on how he doesn't drink caffeine.

"Thank you, again. Also, sorry, for throwing a toaster at you. Again."

"No big deal. Protect and serve and some times dodge toasters." Viktor said while waving his hand. They received a few more thank yous before they retreated back to their car with laughter still spilling from their lips.

Once they were back in the car, they realized it was time for them to head back to the station. Yuuri navigated them out of the neighborhood easily and soon enough they were back on the highway. Traffic was light luckily so they were making great time. Yuuri wasn't fiddling with his hat anymore. It was perched proudly on his head as he looked ahead admiring the scenery. Viktor was still thinking about Yuuri's question from before. He finally had an answer.

"An act."

Yuuri snapped his head over to Viktor and shot him a confusing look.

"Your question from before. I think people see an act. I don't have a lot of friends. I don't do much besides work and occasionally date. Well, it's not even dating more so go out for drinks and," He saw Yuuri's face flood with blush. "Yeah, and that."

"Well, thanks for the honest answer."

"My turn. What do you think of me, honestly?" Viktor said the last word with a bit of sarcasm on it. Yuuri laughed a bit at the inflection.

"Honestly? I think your a little bit dramatic, but that's what makes you funny. A bit pretentious and self-absorbed, but aren't all cops?" Yuuri joked.

"Yeah, it definitely calls for those type of people."

"Well, you got yourself a friend now. So don't worry about the act." Yuuri stated quietly as he turned back to the window. Viktor's little alarms went off in his head at the sound of his voice. It sounded disappointed almost regretful. It didn't take much longer for them to reach the garage, and Yuuri was up and almost immediately out of the car. He was leaving Viktor behind as he rummaged for his belongings.

"Yuuri! Wait up!" Viktor jogged towards him to snatch the corner of his shoulder to pull him around. He hadn't even noticed the hat was back in his hands being crushed under the pressure. "Hey, did I say something wrong?"

"No, it's not your fault." Yuuri responded back meekly.

"Well, what's up?"

"Back in the car. Before Isabelle and JJ. I was going to tell you that we've met before."

"Wait, what?" Viktor said, puzzled.

"We met two weeks ago. Do you not remember?"

"Refresh my memory. Where were we?"

"At the club Twisted. You approached me. We danced for an hour or two, and other things. You wanted to go home with me, but you were way too drunk. So I sent you home in a taxi, but not before you threw up on my shoes." Yuuri explained it all. Viktor kept looking back and forth completely dazed. "You also knew I was a cop. And requested I become your partner since yours bailed. That's why I thought I was here."

"Hold on, hold on." Viktor murmured as he yanked his phone out of his pocket. He started rapidly searching through emails to see if there were any to his Captain. His eyes widened once they landed on an email sent around the time Yuuri had stated.

~

Sent: Sat. 09/28/2016 01:38AM

To: yakovfeltsman

HErlo,

Capn! My guyu. THere is a new OFIcer cominng to the staTIon. Katskui. NO KATSUKI.

I rerrqust him to be my PARtner!

<3 <3 ove you, Yakov

Vik Nik

~

Viktor just stared blankly at the email and back up at Yuuri. He was stunned, no, at loss for words at his actions. All of it came flooding back as he mentally recalled writing this email. The flashes of dancing with Yuuri, meeting him, and even kissing the hell out of him in his inebriated state. Damn his stupid drunk brain for this.

"Yuuri, I'm sorry-"

"Don't be sorry. I just thought differently I guess." He shrugged as he was about to put the hat back on. Viktor grabbed the hat from his hands and placed it on his head delicately.

"No! I mean I'm sorry you can't be my partner."

Yuuri's shocked expression similar to being on the verge of tears. Viktor immediately realized his wording and grasped Yuuri's shoulders to squeeze them.

"We will just have to put you with Mila. Can't very well take my partner out on a date." Viktor winked as he dragged the other man towards him. Viktor's embrace was tight as he led him towards the building, already gearing up for this conversation with Yakov.

"Oh! Oh. Yeah. You're right."

"I'm always right, Yuuri."

"I forgot. Pretentious. . . Egotistical. I'll have to get used to that." Yuuri retorted, but his sentence was simply muffled by Viktor yanking him into a chaste kiss. Yuuri yelped at the sudden action, but easily melted into the other man.

On second thought, his drunk brain hadn't been so stupid since this was the smartest thing it ever planned.

Notes:

[1] This is the code in Detroit (allegedly) for Disturbance of the Peace

I apologize for all the JJ lovers out there. I had to make someone the villain in this one. Lol. Welp, there is the little one shot I cranked out. Hope you enjoyed the quick read. Fun fact with Yuuri's hat thing, I wear hats VERY often for reasons. But I consistently play with the hats in my hand when I'm nervous so I sort of adapted it to Yuuri. Viktor in this story is VERY LOOSELY based off a person I know irl.

You can always find me on my tumblr and I thank you all for reading! :D

https://aphoticwriter.tumblr.com