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He coughed, a wheezing, dying cough, that’s scratches roughly up his throat.
Sitting alone atop a cold forlorn mountain, which his tuberculosis doesn’t take kindly too, the morning sun rises in the distance the warm glow settling on him, warming him inside and out. Though he doubts it actually is and he’s just finally leaving this forsaken life, passing on to nothingness.
He was once scared to die, terrified even. Not all that too long ago, but after seeing John get shot and his bleeding corpse fall from that train, he’s accepted it.
Arthur does so miss John dearly, wants to be held in his arms tightly, held to his chest again, and listen to the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat. Yes so what if it’s only happened a few times when they’ve been drunk out of their minds, but he loves him, wants to hold him close and be held right back, Arthur loves John, has done for years, has even lived just for him, when everything in the world felt so wrong and cruel. He held on for that boy.
He loves John, no matter what the world chooses to think off that, everybody he’s ever loved had left him, yes some didn’t abandon him but still they rode off into the distance to never be seen again. Dutch.. his Dad the man who raised him after his actual father left him, looked him in the eyes then walked sombrely away from his dying figure.
Arthur exhales, a shaky breath.
Eyes tightly closed now, forever, he imagines John pulling him in shaky weak arms, warm tears falling from shiny hazel eyes, to Arthur’s spider-webbed face, broken blood vessels looking like spider webs woven into his skin.
He inhales one last time, sharply and painfully, to whisper to nobody but himself “J- John.. I- i lov- love you, so de- dearly” he chokes out.
The words are painful to let out after all these years, both physically and mentally, finally admitting it after years of holding it deep down inside, hidden from anyone and everyone, it’s painful and reliving to finally let it out.
Even if he’s only telling himself out loud, and the empty deserted wild around him. If he could’ve he would sworn he heard John reply the same, and place a gentle kiss to his lips.