Archive of Our Own

Hi!

Dear Me,

…

okay… both sound sooo weird. Like, I mean, how do you supposed to start a letter sent to yourself? What am I even supposed to write about?

Never mind, I think you know what I mean, maybe you even remember, since you’re me. So how are you, my future self, five years from now?

 Iwaizumi was slowly walking down the street with his hands in his pockets. He was only a few houses away from home when he noticed a postman desperately trying to call someone out from the house next to his. He was a young man, probably new in this area, at least judging from his behavior. The sighing Iwaizumi walked to him.

“There isn’t anyone home.” he said and took a sad glance at the house that looked like it was haunted with the shutters down and the unattended garden. “The owners of this house moved to Tokyo last year when their son died in a plane crash. Since then it’s empty.” Iwaizumi explained with a stick in the throat.

“Oh, I see.” the young postman was clearly surprised and cluelessly looked at the address on the letter he was holding in his hands. “But this is the address written on the letter…. “he murmured. Iwaizumi followed the other’s glance and looked at the mentioned letter. For a moment he even forgot how to breath.

“Excuse me…” he called out to the postman again. “Can I look at that envelope?” he reached out with a trembling hand. The young postman was confused, but he handed it to him

The trembling of Iwaizumi’s hands didn’t stop even after he got the envelope, if possible it was trembling even more. The name that was written on it…. it was Oikawa Tooru, with that dumbass’s messy handwriting and there’s no way Iwaizumi would mistake it for someone else’s.

That Oikawa Tooru’s, who had been dead for almost a year then.

Iwaizumi turned the envelope around and on its back there was a date with the same messy handwriting. “June 10 20XX”. The date of that day. The date of Iwaizumi’s 22^nd birthday.

 "Okay, if you’re finished, then address it and write the date when you want to get the letter on the back of the envelope. Choose an address that probably won’t change until the chosen date, like your parent’s house or something like that. I promise I’ll send the letter at the given time.” the teacher said cheerfully as most of the class was still writing their letters.

Oikawa (of course) was one of the guys who already closed their envelopes and immediately appeared next to Iwaizumi.

“Iwa-chaaan! What date did you write? I’ve chosen your birthday five years from now, so even if we’re far from each other at that time I won’t forget it.” the brown-haired boy leaned next to his friend. “Oh, you haven’t even finished yet. Then I’ll help you.” he said cheerfully and took the other one’s envelope.

“Hey!” Iwaizumi tried to grab the other’s hand but he was too slow.

“I wrote your birthday on yours as well, so we’ll get it on the same day” Oikawa smiled, Iwazumi just sighed.

 As the dark haired boy looked at the envelope he remembered so clearly the day they wrote those letters.

“Is there maybe an other letter like this? Addressed to the neighboring house?” Iwaizumi turned to the young postman again with a hurrying tone. “To Iwaizumi Hajime.” the postman looked pretty stunned, but began to search his bag.

“Yes. Here it is.” he showed the other envelope and Iwaizumi took it. “I’m sorry, sir, but…”

“I am Iwaizumi Hajime, so it’s my letter” the boy told him, clearing up any suspicion that he is trying to steal someone’s post and looked at the two letters, then he turned to the postman again. “The owners of this house don’t live here anymore, but I can deliver them this letter. I live next door and they know me well. Usually it’s me or my mother who takes care of things like this for them. So, you can just leave it to me.”

 “I… I don’t know, if I can do that.” the young postman was confused, he surely was some newbie.

“I even sign the receipt. There won’t be any problem with it.” Iwaizumi was desperate and the postman seemed to come across.

Once Iwaizumi had both of the letters in his hands, he headed home fighting the urge of opening Oikawa’s letter up. He went in, kicked off his shoes and sat down in the living room tossing his friend’s letter on the coffee table while opening his own up. However, as soon as he take the actual letter out of the envelope and unfolded it he dropped it on the table. He didn’t have to read it, since he knew what was written in it, but he had to read the other one.

“You owe me this. Think of it as your goodbye, that I couldn’t get.” he murmured to himself maybe just trying to convince himself that he can open that letter, as he actually (pretty carefully) did it.

Hi!

Dear Me,

…

okay… both sound sooo weird. Like, I mean, how do you supposed to start a letter sent to yourself? What am I even supposed to write about?

Never mind, I think you know what I mean, maybe you even remember, since you’re me. So how are you, my future self, five years from now?

‘It’s so like him, blabbering about nonsense…’ Iwaizumi thought as he read the first few lines.

What are you up to nowadays? Are you still playing volleyball? Sorry, stupid question. Of course, you are. There’s nothing that can keep you us from playing volleyball, is there? So you better be on the national team or at least national champion, or else be really ashamed of yourself.

Kidding.

‘If you only knew… You actually were kept from volleyball for quite a long time, after you fucked up your knee in your first year at college.’ Iwaizumi let out a bitter laugh. ‘Still you actually managed to get a spot in the U-21 team after returning and after that you got scouted by a pro team as well. You were on your way to the national team, even though you still frequently overworked yourself, no matter what I told you. But you always returned…  except for one time. Even that time you were only thinking of volleyball. You were going to a training camp with your team abroad, but you was so excited about it, that you couldn’t sleep. You went to the gym to practice and you ended up falling asleep there and you missed your flight. (How many times did I blame myself for not coming and waking you up?) Your coach was angrier than ever, and you had to take an other plane. That’s the one that…’ Iwaizumi just couldn’t continue the thought he rather went back to reading the letter.

Still you’ve won at your last Inter High and you’ve finally beaten that damn Ushiwaka, haven’t you?

Now that I am thinking about it, it’s next year… I mean our last year in high school, that Tobio-chan will become a high schooler as well, so you had to beat him too. Nice job!

‘Believe it or not we actually did beat Kageyama’s team at the Inter High, but after that we got beaten by Shiratorizawa in the prelims. In the Spring Tournament however we were defeated by Kageyama. But after that they id beat Shiratorizawa and Ushiwaka, so in a certain point of view we did beat them as well… or that’s what you told me in one of your weakest moments…’

What about Iwa-chan? Is he still always kicking your butt every time you do something he doesn’t like?

‘Actually I'd really like to kick your ass right now'

Is he still playing volleyball as well?  Do you even keep in touch?

I hope you are.

'If just we were…’

Now the tough part. Have you already told him your feelings?

 

Iwaizumi clenched his fists and doing so creased the paper, even if he didn’t want to. He didn’t expect anything like this from this letter. Oikawa never told him anything like this.

Of course, you didn’t. I thought so. It wouldn’t even be me if I did. Aaaah too much. It’s too much for me to write to myself. I’m already confused of who I am and who you are.

Make sure to tell him NOW. Right now, when you read this letter. No matter where you are, no matter where he is, just tell him. You have to tell him, that you I love him. Since you I we have been such a wimps, that we didn’t tell him earlier. So you have to tell him. Now.

Oh! And don’t forget to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY either. Since today is his 22nd birthday.

Good luck!

Me

“YOU MORON!” Iwaizumi actually shouted these words into the empty room. “It’s my birthday… tell me ‘happy birthday’ in person.” he said, but it wasn’t the thing that actually bothered him. It was the fact that neither did he tell Oikawa about his feelings. And now… “It was five years ago… and for five fucking years you didn’t tell me a thing! NOTHING! … and now… when you aren’t here... I have to read this?” he asked, but then he remembered. There was something that Oikawa wanted to tell him just before he left…

"Oi, Trashykawa! You don’t plan on leaving without saying goodbye, do you?” Iwaizumi said after catching his breath. Yes, he did run all the way from the nearest train station to catch Oikawa still at the airport.

“Iwa-chaaaan! I almost thought you won’t come.” Oikawa pretended to be disappointed, but then he grinned. "I have something to tell you..." he said but couldn't continue.

“Tooru! You will miss the fight!” his mother called.

“I’m coming!” he shouted back, then turned back to a stunned Iwaizumi, who were still trying to follow the situation. “I’ll tell you when I come back. It’s important, so be sure to wait for me” he grinned again then ran off to the gate waving. Iwaizumi didn’t even have time to respond anything. Not even a bye…

 “I’m here, you moron… how long will you keep me waiting? You have something important to tell me, don’t you?”

Iwaizumi took a glance at the other letter lying on the table. The text that was written by him at the same time Oikawa wrote his was pretty long, but there was only one sentence at the end of it, that the boy couldn’t take his eyes off.

Be sure not to take your eyes off him, you know that dumbass is incapable of living without your aid.

“You’re a year late, dumbass… And I am the one, who can’t live without him…” Iwaizumi murmured as tears ran down his cheek.