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Kageyama had never been an impulsive person until he met Hinata.
In fact, even now Kageyama would argue that his occasional slip-ups were more unprecedented lapses in judgement than anything. Usually, not unexpectedly influenced by one loud-mouthed middleblocker who never failed to coax emotions and reactions out of the stoic setter, who would’ve otherwise thought himself incapable of them.
It was unnerving. Hinata riled him up enough to engage him in ridiculous competitions. Hinata made him feel grounded enough to initiate socialization with new people. Hinata made him lose his cool in front of their senpais and Hinata filled his passion for volleyball with new meaning. New purpose.
All these things Kageyama had gotten more or less used to by the end of their first year in Karasuno. But then Kageyama might trail into silence, lost in staring at Hinata. And sometimes, well thankfully, only this particular time, not be conscious of the words escaping from his mouth.
Kageyama cringed inwardly from sheer mortification, eyes downcast and teeth biting painfully into his bottom lip. Words like, I like you and Go out with me, spoken unbidden at full volume, in the middle of the court where it effectively caught the attention of not only an unsuspecting Hinata Shouyou but also the rest of their teammates who hadn’t left yet.
The proceeding silence must’ve lasted no longer than a minute, but it felt like hours to Kageyama who still couldn’t bring himself to look at the boy who held his heart in his smaller but no less strong and capable hands. He’d expected revealing his feelings to be terrifying, but Kageyama, who’d had little to no experience with – with – feelings, never would’ve imagined confessing to his best friend and crush of three years, to feel a little like splitting his own heart open and having it be filled with a biting chill in fear of a possible rejection.
He could feel the day they first met running underneath the present moment like an old videotape – as if reminding Kageyama of the unbelievably strong energy Hinata channeled and drew him in with, and almost mocking him of what he might be robbed of lest his feelings go unrequited.
He could feel that irresistible energy now, drawing his gaze towards the shorter boy. Kageyama sucked in a sharp breath - the whirlwind of emotions on Hinata’s shocked face was almost too much to bear. All rational thought fled his mind and he wasn’t even conscious of cold, unrelenting fear prompting him to back away and bolt, until a warm hand enclosed over his wrist, gently halting his escape.
“Kageyama?” Hinata asked softly, voice intentionally low so as not to be overheard, and Kageyama felt himself shiver in Hinata’s loose grip. While there had been no judgement in Hinata's voice, only concern and mild confusion, Kageyama couldn’t bring himself to relax, to fight against the sensation of every cell in his body telling him to run, to hide from this situation and himself. He was suddenly intensely aware of all the eyes on them, their friends having scurried away enough to give them space, but unfailingly nosy still as they followed the unfolding of the events with bated breath from the doorway. Almost as if reading his line of thought Hinata tore his eyes from the taller boy to shoot a threatening glare at their unwanted audience while Kageyama wished desperately for the ground beneath his feet to part and swallow him whole.
Would he be able to fix this? Kageyama had so much of Hinata in his life at this point, he wasn’t sure he’d endure without their natural shared connection.
Maybe they could still recover from this. Maybe he – just had to keep his thoughts to himself. He just –
“Tobio.” Hinata’s stern voice cut through his haze of worries, and Kageyama blinked out of his terrified stupor.
And Kageyama looked at him, finally looked at him and Shouyou’s eyes were very sweet and serious, slightly glassy with emotion. Hinata’s mouth suddenly relaxed into a soft smile, pleased that he’d finally captured his friend’s attention and Kageyama’s own mouth felt wistful at the sight. Because strangely enough Hinata didn’t look as disturbed as Kageyama had expected him to, or as shocked as he’d been moments ago. Shouyou looked like he’d found new meaning in the way Kageyama’s eyes rested upon him, almost hypnotised, and his thumb rubbed gently along the bone of Kageyama’s wrist as if he’d be content to never have to let go. He looked hopeful, Kageyama realized with heady relief.
“Tobio,” Hinata started again, patiently, always so patient with him, “Did you mean it?”
Has his face always been this adorably round? Kageyama thought, still in a daze and absurdly another thought entered his mind almost instantaneously, I have so many kisses for his cheeks.
He was brought back to the present by the soft touch of Hinata’s fingers caressing the back of his hand now, the gesture intended to reassure and soothe, but Kageyama could feel Hinata’s own hand trembling minutely over his skin. God, they were both such a mess. Kageyama shivered at the touch nonetheless, beginning to feel a little more like himself: it was time to be brave.
He took a deep breath, not unlike the breathing exercise he was in the habit of completing before games, squared his shoulders, and -
“I did.” He declared, gaze unwavering and certain, “I like you very much, Shouyou.”