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Harry cringed. He clung on to Ginny with clammy hands and kept counting in his head. One two three, one two three. He really hated this.
The Great Hall at Hogwarts Castle sparkled with hundereds of flickering candles soaring above their heads, creating a festive farewell to the two graduating years in the June twilight. This was their last day at school and tomorrow they all would be on the Hogwarts Express back to London and their life as adults would begin. Harry thought they all felt a little skittish about this, and the fact that it was now more than a year since the war ended made them also feel that anything in the future was possible.
That's why Headmistress McGonagall thought it would be appropriate to celebrate this first year of peace with a Graduation Ball, refreshments, dress robes and bloody waltz.
Harry sighed loudly and Ginny laughed a little and pressed a light kiss on his cheek. "Relax, Harry, you're doing well," she smiled.
"No, I'm not, and you know it," Harry muttered and turned her around in a stumbling twirl. Dancing with Ginny wasn't so bad, they both laughed at how terrible he was at leading and made a joke out of it. Mercifully, the waltz ended and the band started to play something with a slightly more beat to it.
Dean smiled and waved at them from where he was standing against the wall, and Harry put his hand at Ginny's back and gave her a small push in his direction. "Go on, Gin, dance with him, I don't mind. He's a hell of a better dancer than I am. I'll have a Butterbeer and watch." He smiled at her and gave her a quick kiss. She deserved to have a good time and he didn't feel a trace of jelousy, not towards Dean, anyway. He knew he hadn't been the best boyfriend this year. Ever since they got together again at the beginning of the schoolyear, he'd been absentminded, restless and brooding. Sometimes he thought they were better off as friends, and she deserved the best and more, much more than he felt he could give.
He headed to the rescue of the makeshift bar, but was stopped on the way.
"Potter!" The dark-haired girl with the heavy make-up grabbed his wrists and gave him a coy smile. "Are you denying the rest of us a chance to dance with 'Our Saviour'?"
"Parkinson."
They were at some kind of truce with the Slytherin students now. They had all apologized for what been said and done during the war. Harry had spoken up at Malfoy's trial, telling the Wizengamot of how he saved his life, which had freed him and his mother of all charges. He'd also returned his wand. With a flushed face, Malfoy had offered Harry his hand on the platform at Kings Cross, as they were about to board the train and Harry had taken it. Since then, they had acknowledged each other with polite nods whenever their eyes met, which was more often than Harry wished to think about.
"Come on." She yanked him on to the floor again.
With a heavy heart Harry placed his hand on her waist and tried to work out what pace this song consisted of. Pansy Parkinson's hips rolled seductively under his palm as she pressed herself closer to him. Harry immediately pulled back and gave her a nervous grin. But before any of them could say anything, someone shouted over the dancefloor, "Partner change!"
Suddenly it wasn't Parkinson in his arms anymore, but Daphne Greengrass. She giggled a little at the astonished look on his face and resolutely placed his hand on her hip, that wiggled in the same way as Pansy's. Harry blushed and tripped on his feet, but managed to disguise it as a side-step. That only made them bump into the pair dancing next to them, which was Theo Nott and someone Harry vaguely recognized as Daphne's younger sister. Was he compleatly surrounded by Slytherins? Why?
He wanted to end this dance but Greengrass held him in a firm grip as they stumbled around the floor. The shout, once again, "Partner change!" made him give a deep sigh of relief, but before he could manage to duck out, he felt a firm hand on his middle holding him back. A quick glimpse at Millie Bulstrode's smirking face made his gut churn, but a strong arm pulled him backwards. Harry turned.
He was instantly pressed against a broad shoulder clad in black velvet as the arm curled around his waist. The feather-light hair stroked along Harry's nose and some masculine hair-product whiffed his nostrils. "Malfoy?" he gasped. "What… I mean…"
"Shut up, Potter, and just dance, will you." He took a steady grip and Harry found himself being led in a dance. Malfoy's hipbone alligned with his and lightly pressed in the right direction. Quite astonishingly his hips decided to cooperate and followed Malfoy's sway. This was too wierd. It was actually so wierd it felt good, almost. Except, wierd.
Harry closed his eyes. He felt Malfoy's hand, the long slim fingers steady pressure against the small of his back, the hip and the side of him turning Harry around and around. He started to feel lightheaded.
"I knew you had it in you, Potter," he heard Malfoy's low voice right above his ear. He could feel the light scratch of his stubble on his cheek. "You only needed the right partner." He made Harry spin and caught him again, much closer this time. Harry's crotch was now directly over Malfoy's thigh and something long and hard stirred against Harry's hipbone. Was that…? Oh, God!
Harry gasped as Malfoy's hand slowly wandered lower from his waist and then, with something that was somewhere between a whimper and a sigh, he murmured, "Oh, Harry."
Harry pulled away with eyes as wide as saucers. "Partner change!" came the cheery voice from the bandstand and Malfoy was gone.
Susan Bones did her best to make him move to the music, but Harry could only stare at her as he held her hands.
Then there was Padma and finally Hermione.
"What's the matter, Harry? You look positively pale. Aren't you having a good time?" She hooked her arms around his neck and smiled tentatively. She knew, of course, all his demons of the war, all his concerns and all his fears.
"I think I'm gonna be sick, 'Mione." Harry clutched a hand over his mouth and headed for the door.
"Oi, Harry!" Ron stood right in front of him. "Wasn't that the worst of luck, ending up with Malfoy!" Ron howled with laughter and slapped his knees. "Of all the blokes, him, and he got to lead as well, the presumptuos bastard." He slung his arm around Harry's shoulder, chuckling of restrained merryment. "At one point I thought you were done for, mate, with all those Slytherins hoovering around you like vultures."
That's when Harry saw Ginny behind her brother's back, and the sadness in her beautiful eyes.
Harry ran. Out of the front doors, out in the tempered night. He stopped and bent over, trying to catch his breath. In, hold, out. In, hold, out.
Why did this dance with Malfoy bother him so much? It was only a bloody dance, wasn't it? Slowly his heartbeat went back to normal and he raised his head.
A soft rustle in the grass made him aware of someone coming up behind him. A familiar flowery scent told him who it was. Ginny.
"It wasn't my fault," he said, not really knowing to what he was referring.
"I know."
"I didn't… He just..." The words stumbled and twisted in his mind and his hands were trembling.
"I know that too." Her voice was a bit stern. "But I saw you. I saw you positively melt in his arms, Harry."
"I never... I haven't…"
"Well, maybe you should." She cupped both of her hands on his cheeks and made him look at her. "Harry, I know things between us haven't been great, and maybe we both can use a break, now that school's over." She bit her lip. "I've often felt there were something missing when we've, you know… Perhaps this is what's been wrong. You always have your eyes on him, do you know that?"
Harry shook his head, terrified of what she might be inclining.
"Well, you do. And so, does he. You should at least talk to him." She gave a nod at the direction of the lake. "He's over there, waiting, I guess."
Harry whipped his head around and saw a distant figure slowly walking along the shore, hands in his pockets and the white blond hair shining like silver in the pale moonlight.
"Go on, figure yourself out, before it's too late, Harry." She gave him a quick hug and released him.
"Gin, I don't know what to say," Harry started to mumble.
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Well, you've never been good with words, now have you, Harry." She gave him a solemn look. "If you change your mind, if you really want me, you'll come back."
She walked away, back to the castle, her slim back very straight and her red ponytail bouncing at every step. Harry followed her with his eyes until she was gone. Then he turned and walked towards the lake.
"We meant no harm, you know, Potter. It was just for a bit of fun." He had stopped and faced the dark surface that occasionally rippled in the soft breeze. "They were actually doing it for me."
"Who were?"
"My friends, there on the dancefloor." He kept his gaze high up in the air, following the moon.
"But… why?" Harry asked.
"I guess it doesn't matter anymore." He let out a deep sigh. "They found out, you see. It was when Blaise got his hands on that bloody Veritaserum. I knew I shouldn't have played that stupid game."
"Truth or Dare, wizard style?" Harry grinned. He'd played that game too, in the Gryffindor commonroom. Malfoy nodded.
"Blaise asked who I thought about when I wanked at night." Harry gave a surprised laugh. It seemed the Slytherins brought this game to a much more daring level. Malfoy gave Harry a sideway glance. "It was revealed that I'd had this crush for years."
"Since when?"
"Oh, shall we say… fourth year, maybe." His gaze wandered back to the dark waters of the lake.
Harry stopped, bewildered. "But… crush on who?" He knew he was stalling, but he needed to hear it, for Malfoy to say it.
Malfoy gave a short whimpering laugh. "You, of course, Potter. Isn't that obvious. That's why Pansy came up with this idea, to get you to dance with me on this last day. Rather sweet of her, when you think of it. Not like her at all." He turned and began strolling back to the castle again, still avoiding looking at Harry.
Harry grabbed Malfoy's arm, making him stop.
"Are you telling me that after eight years of hexes and challenges and rivalry and WAR, that you actually like me?"
Malfoy spun around. "Look, if you want to make fun of me, go ahead. I simply don't care anymore. I'm too sick of pretending, sick of trying to be somebody I'm not, not anymore. After tomorrow, on the train, we'll probably never see each other again, except for a courteous nod when we pass in Diagon Alley. You go on, become an Auror, marry the Weasley girl and have a dozen redhead kids, while I go back to the Manor, live on with my passed mistakes and try to forget." His eyes had a suspicious moist to them. "I guess that will be pretty impossible, though, don't you?" He pulled his fingers through his hair, making it tousled in a way Harry had never seen it before. It made him look vulnerable and young. He guessed that's what they both were.
"Ginny and I broke up."
"What?" He had a bewildered look on his face, an array of un-masked feelings on display and he drew a quick breath.
"Let's do it again. Dance with me, Draco."
Harry positioned himself right in front of Malfoy's frame with his face slightly over Malfoy's shoulder. His heart was beating like crazy. Harry could feel the tremor in Malfoy's hand when he placed it against the small of Harry's back. "There's no music," he said, very quiet.
Harry shook his head. "It doesn't matter." And they danced. They swayed to, what Harry thought was his own heartbeat. He pressed himself closer to Malfoy and whispered, "What if this isn't the last dance? What if this is the first?"
Malfoy snorted. "Well, that would, at least, give you the opportunity to improve." And Harry just knew.
He knew that this bickering, pompous, smart-mouthed git was worth getting to know. That it was something about this boy that had always tickled his curiosity, and that he was ready to face it.
That life from now on really held every possibility.
So, they danced to the sound of the rush of water against the shore, to the faint rustle in the leaves, to the sparkle of the stars and the light of the moon and it was wonderful.