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“Daddy, look at me!”
Alex rolled his eyes and smiled as he looked up at the plastic tube for the millionth time that afternoon. Perry’s little dimpled face was broken into a grin as he waved down from a grimy little window that looked down into the rest of the play area in the grungy McDonald’s a block away from their house. He waved grandly again as their little boy crawled away from the window and went to explore the rest of the tube. His son had been repeating the same routine for the past hour and his fathers had been too kind to tell Perry that it was time to leave, even when they were both exhausted and his half-eaten burger had started to turn cold on the table.
They were usually too busy with work and dinner parties and school functions to ever come and sit down at a restaurant and eat as a family anymore. Perry had been begging Alex and Jack for weeks to take him to McDonald’s to play in what he called “the tunnels." It was a huge treat for him because he hadn’t gotten to play in them since Jack got his promotion four months ago and left Alex to spend his free time taking care of their son. Alex hadn’t minded spending more time with his little boy more than usual, but sometimes he missed all three of them spending actual time together that wasn’t just a rushed meal of frozen pizza or the car ride to work and school every day.
Jack’s career was just starting to take off and while this brought in a larger source of income for the tiny family that allowed them live a little easier than before, Alex missed Jack terribly sometimes. It was the kind of yearning that ate away at his gut and hadn’t gone away, even after the doe-eyed phase of love they had gone through in their teens had passed and evolved. He was still so much in love, but a kind of love that was like a slow burn now rather than the fiery inferno that moved so fast and indulged itself so extravagantly like it had during their college years.
Alex was still very much in love with Jack and as crazy about him as day one, but love was shown in simpler and much sillier ways nowadays. Over ten years spent together, seven of them in wedlock, had created a sort of naked comfort that was completely different from the timid and careful attitude in which they had regarded each other in the early years of their relationship. New lovers were careful to hide their quirks, their insecurities, and their mistakes in the fear of scaring each other away. But old lovers had seen every side of each other- every angle, every curve, every scar. They had shared enough time (and bathrooms) together to be completely and utterly themselves around each other.
So both of them knew that despite the mutual enjoyment of candlelit dinners, slow romantic sex, and lavender bubble baths, they didn’t always have the energy- or the time- to make every moment they spent together “meaningful” and “special”. Usually, the most special moments were the ones that happened by accident. The moments when love was shown through the small, silly things were the moments that they would both remember fondly for years to come and just fell into place on their own.
Besides, after working nonstop for the past few weeks, the last thing that either Jack or Alex wanted to do was get dressed up in uncomfortable clothes and go out to some fancy restaurant where they would pay more for one meal than what they both made in a week. It was just easier to drive to McDonald’s and play footsie in the booth while they fed each other french fries and laughed like children while their son played in the ball pit and crawled around the tubes.
It was moments like this that Alex missed, moments of quiet where they could both just relax and unwind, letting the stress and bustle of the work week fade from their minds as they just stared at each other like the lovesick kids they used to be.
As Alex turned away from his son and back to his husband, he found Jack grinning at him. His dark eyes were outlined with dozens of laughter lines and danced in the golden evening light that was shining through the large glass windows. Alex felt his heart jolt and a grin as wide and goofy as Jack’s work itself across his face as a creeping blush painted itself across his cheeks.
“What, baby?” Alex asked teasingly. “Are you laughing at me?”
Jack shook his head but didn’t lose his smile, “Nope, just thinking about how adorable you are,” he responded cheekily as he popped another French fry into his mouth.
Alex nudged his leg lightly with the tip of his boot. “Look at you being all suave, as if I haven't been married to you forever. I know your tricks, Jay. Do I have mustard on my face? Cheese in my hair? Have I grown a ginormous zit overnight that I failed to notice this morning? Hmm?” the elder teased right back.
Jack grinned wider but just shook his head and sat back with a content sigh. “I just miss being able to sit with you, to have a quiet moment every once in awhile,” he confessed, still smiling.
It was as if the universe were listening to them, spinning in its haphazard ways and laughing at their short-lived moment of peace, as their rowdy five year old ran up to them and yelled loudly about his latest adventure in “the tubes.” Alex rolled his eyes and flashed Jack a knowing grin as the younger retrieved the child’s cup and gave him a sip of juice to refresh him after a long, strenuous, fifteen minutes of playing.
They both listened to their son ramble nonsensically about the games he played by himself and the stories that came alive through the door of his imagination. Alex had always admired children's endless hope and wonder but had never really come to appreciate just how beautiful innocence could be until he became a father. As he sat quietly, the weight of the long week finally washing over him in a cloud of heavy fatigue, Alex marveled his little family.
Jack listened and nodded intently as Perry rambled on about secret tunnels, undercover spies and secret missions, no doubt from bits and pieces of the James Bond movies Jack always had playing on their DVR. They complimented each other, Jack and Perry. They both had the same beautiful brown eyes, messy dark hair, and crooked smiles that always tried to convince Alex that they had done no wrong.
Jack may have been a grown man, a married man with a son and a career, but he was still a child at his core. Often Alex would catch Jack dressed up in silly costumes- fish bowl scuba divers, cereal box astronauts, and close hanger aliens- caught up in some elaborate story Perry had concocted. Or stealing extra cookies from the cookie jar after dinner and sharing them together when they thought Alex wasn't paying attention. Or dancing together in their pajamas to the radio on weeks days, waking Alex up. Jack loved his son with all of his heart and did his best to care for him properly and lovingly as every father should. Alex never doubted for a second that Jack didn't love their child unconditionally.
However, Jack was too much a goofball to ever scold Perry or punish him. Whereas Jack was able to listen and to empathize with Perry on a level that Alex couldn't, he was also incredibly lenient and soft-hearted. Perry could get away with anything if Jack had a say in the matter. Whether it was eating nothing but frosting for every meal, drawing pictures of monsters on the walls, or wearing nothing but his Buzz Lightyear costume to preschool every day- Jack had a tendency to turn into a big mushball when it came to Perry.
And the little boy knew it, too. He had a pouty face that he had perfected that made Jack cave in faster than an elephant in a sinkhole. If that didn't work, Perry would scream at the top of his lungs and flail about until he got his way. Though this rarely ever occurred with Jack because he spoiled the child often…
Jack was a great father and had grown immensely over the years. Though he was still the same scared boy who had just gotten married, held his own baby in his arms for the first time, and cried when the little boy opened his eyes for him because he had helped bring this little life into the world. There had been many sleepless nights, many moments where Alex had laid awake with him in the dark, their limbs entangled as they discussed their fears of parenthood, of such mounting responsibility.
While they had both made the decision to have a child, had spent months searching for potential surrogates and had cried the moment they discovered they were going to have a little boy (though they would've loved a little girl just the same)- there had still been the smallest fraction of doubt. Especially in Jack, who had always been reluctant to grow up and take those large steps.
The moment Perry was born, however, Jack was born again as well. He was the same goofy man he had always been, but more sure, more willing to take care of things on his own. Even adulthood hadn't been enough to turn Jack Barakat into a full-fledged, independent adult. The moment he moved out, he still had someone taking care of him, though it wasn't his mother this time around, it was Alex. As he had held the baby in his arms, though, Jack finally made peace with the inner child inside of himself. He had vowed to never let himself fully grow up, but he knew that he had to step up and be a man now. For real this time.
Perry had been a blessing as much as a hassle to them, for he had allowed them both to grow as people and strengthen their relationship. Some couples would complain that children only put unnecessary strain on a relationship, but Jack and Alex had only grown since the birth of their son. Parenthood still had its ups and downs, as did life. Yet while here were still times when Jack’s happy-go-lucky personality clashed with Alex’s far more down-to-earth one, there was no denying that the three of them were incredibly happy together.
The two Barakat boys were almost exact mirrors of each other as they spoke so excitedly and warmly to each other. Alex felt his heart swell with joy and pride as he looked upon his boys, his family, and was reminded once more what home truly was.
Alex still stared as Jack settled back into his seat and Perry ran back to the tunnels. Jack met his gaze and grinned again as he rested his chin and hands on the tabletop.
“What is with you and the staring today?” Jack beamed as he gently nudged Alex’s shin with his foot.
Alex shrugged, “I was just… overwhelmed by how lucky I am to have you both of you. You two are my world, you know that,” he gushed genuinely.
Jack bit his lip and looked away, unable to fight away the grin. “You're such a sap, Baby,” he replied.
Alex just rolled his eyes. He knew he was being a cornball. That's just what Jack did to him. It was hard to express the feeling of pure bliss and peace that looking at his family gave him. His chest filled up with warmth and pride every time and he was reminded why he worked so hard, why he kept fighting every single day, and why he was so happy to wake up every morning. It was hard to express that sensation accurately without sounding like a sap, so sue him.
Suddenly, that wave of fatigue that had been gradually looming all day fell over Alex heavily. The coffee buzz that had clouded his head all morning had finally faded and settled in the center of Alex’s chest. An extremely loud yawn broke through as he covered his mouth with his arm. Jack only grinned and motioned for Alex to come over to his side of the booth. He gratefully obliged and once he was seated, settled into Jack’s side and rested his head on his shoulder.
Jack folded an arm around his shoulders, placed his head on top of Alex’s and a hand on his knee. Alex hadn't realized just how exhausted he was until he closed his eyes. It occurred to him then that he'd been working almost ten hours a day, every day and taking care of an energetic six year old on top of that. Those two things alone were exhausting enough and it didn't help that he had been running on four hours of sleep each night. Not to mention that he had been skipping meals, school parent nights, and opportunities to cuddle with his man. Life had been dragging both of them down lately, the time flying as they desperately rushed to keep up.
They were bills to pay, and people to please, and a tiny mouth to feed. They were strong, capable and had each other. But while life wasn't eating them alive, it sure as hell was wearing them out. Alex felt like he could sleep for days as he started to doze off on Jack’s shoulder. However, a high pitched scream from one the tunnels startled him awake. Jack's arm wrapped around his waist as he jumped, which just caused the younger to chuckle quietly.
“Worn out huh, Babe?” Jack murmured into his neck where he placed a gentle kiss.
Alex nodded groggily and snuggled back into Jack’s shoulder. “I wanna g’home and take a nap, Jaybird. M’tired.”
Jack chuckled and squeezed his husband’s side gently. “Of course. We can take one together when we get home. But we have to get Perry out of the “tunnels” first,” Jack replied soothingly as he placed another kiss to Alex’s temple.
“Can you get him, Jack? I'll let you be the little spoon,” Alex begged, aware of the fact that Jack loved being held by him, even in his groggy state.
“Fine, but you owe me big time,” Jack threatened as he untangled himself from Alex and clumsily slipped out of the booth.
“Well I'm planning on being married to you for a long time to so I have a while to make up for it,” Alex teased before he rested his head down on the table.
Jack just grinned as he walked across the room and made his way over to the entrance to the tubes. He peered through the hole in the hopes that he could see his son, but the tunnel in front of him was empty.
“Perry!” He called out, knowing that his voice would echo through the plastic and reach the boy, wherever he was.
Jack waited in silence for a few beats before he heard a little voice shout back, “Yeah, Papa?”
“Daddy’s ready to go home, can you come down the slide, please?” he called.
If it were a perfect world, his son would've responded in a positive manner and made his way down the slide without any complaints or fuss. But parenthood wasn't easy and Jack had learned this long before his child was even born. He still swore that Perry’s birth was one of the best things that ever happened to him, next to marrying Alex, but damn was the boy a handful.
Alex always made remarks about how him and Perry were two peas in a pod, alike in every single way possible. They were both loud and lovable and so full of spirit and joy. Yet this was precisely why Jack considered himself both cursed and blessed to have a child just like him. His mother had always used to tell him when he was younger that, “Someday you'll have a child who is just as naughty as you are and then you'll know how I feel.” Back then, he had always laughed it off and continued to act like a little shit.
But after living with his son for six years, Jack knew with an utmost certainty that whatever heavenly power watched over the Earth was laughing at his suspense. Especially then in that slightly empty McDonald's when his son shouted back, “But I don't wanna go, Papa! Can we stay for ten more minutes?”
“Ten more minutes” in child speak translated to about an hour real time, and Jack knew that both he and Alex were more than ready to leave. He wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in Alex’s arms and then wake up at seven PM and watch reruns in their pajamas while they cuddled on the couch like they used to do every Saturday before work got so busy.
“Bud, Daddy’s really tired and wants to leave now,” he reiterated patiently.
“No! I don't wanna go!” Perry shouted and then proceeded to crawl deeper into the two, as was made evident by the series of scraping and smacking sounds that followed his outburst.
Jack just sighed, trying to remember the appropriate threats to use in public. He couldn't take away his Barbies or ground him from Josey’s birthday party coming up- that was just cruel. So he decided on one of the oldest tricks in the book.
“Okay, well I'm going to count to three and if you're not down here by the time I'm done…” he threatened, trailing off for dramatic effect. “One… One and a half… Two… Two and a half… Two and three quarters…”
Jack’s threats had no effect, however, and Perry made no sounds to indicate that he was moving towards the exit. He didn't even bother saying "Three." Perry was not intimidated by ominous counting one bit. God knew why, though... Jack hadn't ever let his mother get to three. He had always thought that three ended in some sort of horrific punishment worse than death, but maybe that's because his mother was extremely convincing…
Out of ideas and options and ready to go home, Jack did what any rational adult would do- he climbed inside the plastic tubes himself. Fuck the sign that said "Ages 7 and younger" he was an adult. He didn't have to listen to any damn signs.
“Okay, I guess you leave me no choice then,” Jack called to his son.
The tubes seemed a lot smaller than Jack remembered them as a kid, which didn't help his discomfort with small spaces. While most kids would be on their hands and knees crawling around, Jack was too large to do even that so he had to wriggle around on his elbows to navigate through the space properly. It took him about ten minutes to make it to the first window that overlooked the eating area. He could see Alex as he sat at their table and looked up in amusement, Jack’s episode enough to make him raise his head and watch the debacle as it went down.
Alex shook his head as Jack waved enthusiastically to him and relished in the fact that he did indeed have two children.
When he turned away from the window Jack called goofily, “Perry, I'm coming to find you!” followed by a fit of giggles.
“You won't find me, Papa!” his shrill voice echoed through the plastic tubes, followed by the sound of more smacking and crawling.
Jack followed the sound through another bend and up a small slope fit with small rubber pads to grab onto like rungs on a ladder. Yet when he reached the landing, there was no sign of his son. Jack crawled around tube after tube as he called his son's name. At first he thought that Perry was just really good at being quiet. Then Jack realized that he, a twenty seven-year-old man, was lost in the plastic tubes at McDonald’s.
It truly was embarrassing as he crawled around and around and kept coming to the same godforsaken window he had seen seven times before. He knew it was the same window, too because some kid had stuck a penguin sticker from their Happy Meal onto the center of the window. Its peeling orange beak smiled mockingly at him every time he arrived at the spot.
After what felt like hours, Jack wondered if instead of fire and brimstone, hell was a maze of plastic tubes that stretched on into infinity but had no exits. And they allowed him to see into the outside world but never to reach it because has was doomed to be forever lost in what was once a welcomed symbol of his own youth.
Jack sighed and collapsed onto the floor of the tunnel, sweat plastered to his forehead. He gave up. He was going to die in there. The employees would have to climb in there and push his corpse out and down the twisty slide. He accepted defeat. He welcomed death.
“Jack, honey, are you in there?” Alex’s voice called out through the tubes, his tone tinged with sleep and amusement.
“Yeah, Babe, where are you?”
“I'm standing at the end of the slides. What are you doing?” Alex called curiously.
“I'm trying to find Perry,” Jack said simply. Alex laughed in response.
“He's standing right next to me, in his coat and shoes, ready to go. So you are most certainly not going to find him,” Alex teased. “Are you lost?”
“No!” Jack called incredulously but after a moment sighed, defeated, “Yes…”
A peal of Alex's adorable laughter ricocheted through the plastic tunnel. Jack would've smiled if he had been so embarrassed. “Follow my voice, Jay, you sound really close,” he reassured.
And sure enough, one right turn and there Jack was, at the exit. He peered down the openings of the slides and could see his family standing at the foot of them. When Alex saw him, he turned to Perry and pointed.
“Look, Honey! Wave to Papa!” in his ‘baby voice’. They both stood there waving and grinning widely as Jack, a twenty seven-year-old man shamelessly rode down the slide. Jack could feel the eyes of the other customers on him as if they were trying to figure out why a fully grown man was doing on a play set meant for young children.
When Jack stood, Alex hugged him and exclaimed mockingly, “Wow, I'm so proud of you! You got out of there all by yourself! What a big boy!”
“Shut up,” Jack mumbled as he took Alex’s hand in his left and Perry’s in his right and the three of them walked out of the restaurant shamelessly as the other customers looked after them curiously.
Alex was still laughing in between a series of gasps and snorts after Jack had buckled Perry into his car seat and drove out of the parking lot. He laughed so hard tears spilled out of his eyes.
Jack just stared ahead at the road and attempted not to smile and give Alex the satisfaction. “How long was I in there?” Jack asked as he pulled up to a red light.
“About… Fifteen minutes?” Alex replied as his giggles subsided.
“Fifteen?!? That felt like four hours!” Jack exclaimed as he pulled the car back into motion.
Alex rolled his eyes and turned around to pick Perry’s Happy Meal toy off the car floor. “You're such a dork,” he said lovingly as he straightened himself and placed a soothing hand on Jack's knee.
“And that's why you adore me, right?” Jack responded cheekily and pulled onto their street.
“Well that and you feed me French fries sometimes, which is pretty romantic,” Alex said nonchalantly with a shrug. Jack pulled into the driveway and parked the car as Alex unbuckled his seat-belt. Once Jack had taken the keys out of the ignition, Jack turned towards him.
“I know, I'm the best husband in the world. You don't have to remind me,” he teased softly as Alex slowly got closer to him.
“You really are,” Alex murmured just before they pressed their lips together in a sweet little peck. It might've been romantic if their six year old hadn't screamed “Yuck!” as soon as their lips touched.
Alex pulled away grinning and turned to their son. “Hey, do you want one too, mister?” he cried.
In response, Perry cried, “No, Daddy! That's yucky!”
Alex just laughed as he leaned over the seat and planted a big, sloppy kiss on his son’s cheek. Immediately the little boy cried, “Ewwwww!” and wiped off his cheek with his coat sleeve as his fathers laughed uncontrollably in the front seat.
All of their giddiness faded soon, however. The minute Alex laid Perry down for his nap, he was out like a light and Alex hoped to soon follow suit as he ambled down the hallway to his own bedroom.
Jack was already there, tucked under the covers and waiting for him, his head laid back against the pillows. He smiled when Alex walked in and discarded his t-shirt on the floor. In an instant he was engulfed by the flames again. They licked up the insides of his gut and filled him with an indescribable warmth. The heat wasn't scorching, nor was it uncomfortable, it was comforting and reassuring. So much so that Alex couldn't help but grin right back as he relished in the sweet shade of Jack's eyes, still so full of joy and love after so many years.
As he slid underneath the cool covers and folded himself into Jack, he couldn't help how quickly his tired body relaxed around his husband's. All of the empty spaces between them were soon filled and it was as easy and as simple as slipping on a pair of worn-in shoes. There wasn't a moment when coming together didn't fill them with a sense of wholeness that kept them both going even when they were alone. There wasn't a moment when they weren't both in sync, in step, and in heartbeat.
Alex kissed the warm hollow space between Jack's neck and collar bone and loved the way the younger sighed contently and leaned up into the sensation. He pressed a few more kisses up Jack's neck until he came to his earlobe and gently tugged at the little diamond stud with his teeth. Jack laughed quietly and found Alex.s arms and wrapped them around his own waist.
"I thought that you were tired, Babe," he noted teasingly, though his exhale was audibly shakily as Alex continued to kiss up and down his neck.
Alex giggled against his skin. "Oh I'm exhausted, but your skin is so kissable and I miss being able to kiss you without being interrupted by our six-year-old," he said softly and punctuated his words with a sweet little peck to Jack's shoulder.
"No, I think that you just like being a tease," Jack chided and grabbed one of Alex's hands. He traced the lines on Alex's palm as if trying to find himself etched somewhere along the lifelines and Alex smiled into his skin.
"Well, that too. But I promise to make it up to you. Next weekend, I know you're getting off early on Friday so maybe we could send Perry to my mom's? Get some champagne, break out the lavender bubble bath..." he trailed off suggestively because Jack was all too aware what champagne and bubble bath meant. They hadn't been able to have a nice night alone in so long, so it wasn't just the promise of nice, slow, uninterrupted sex that enticed him but also the peace and quiet of an empty house.
"Mm, so your cheesy, inner-romantic isn't dead? You gonna get rose petals and light candles, too?" he teased, though he loved Alex's proposition. Especially since the last time Alex had ever tried to do something romantic, he had used candles. Which really would have been extremely romantic if he hadn't accidentally knocked one of them over and started the comforter on fire. It definitely did heat things up in bed… Just not in the way he had intended. That was about two years ago and they had both been dying for some real alone time that wasn't a two-minute handjob in the morning before Perry woke up.
Alex scoffed in response. "I love you, Jay, but I will never use candles like that again. My mom was so pissed when she found out that I'd wrecked that quilt. Can I just ride you to make up for it? That's pretty romantic, right?"
Jack chuckled, even though the comment sent a wave of butterflies through his belly. He loved when Alex took control like that. “It's a date then. But I'm still expecting the rose petals- don't disappoint me."
Alex smiled through a yawn and snuggled further into Jack. "I would never, Baby, I have to keep the title of 'Best Husband Ever' somehow, right?" he teased.
"Oh, so does that mean that you're going to rim me, too?" Jack chided right back, as he lifted their intertwined hands and kissed Alex’s.
The elder just groaned and squeezed Jack’s hand. “Go to sleep, you pervert.”
“So you're not exactly saying no?”
Alex laughed into his shoulder which caused the warmth to spread across Jack’s skin. Alex was quiet for a while and Jack thought that he had finally fallen into the sleep he'd been craving all afternoon. As the light started to fade from the room, Jack’s own drowsiness started to pull him under. He watched the sun dance in small strips of light through the partially opened blinds. The sounds of Alex’s breathing and the movement of his chest were like an ocean, lulling him into dreams.
When he was with Alex, alone and in the quiet, he was reminded of what it felt like to be infinite and ageless. Time could stop, fall, and run right past them and they wouldn't even notice because they were too busy getting lost in each other. It had been this way for ten years, and it would be this way for twenty. When they were old and gray and their children had all moved out and started lives, Jack would still feel like the world stilled every time that Alex looked at him. And even at eighty-nine, the world would still bleed like watercolors dripping down the surface of a canvas, a million delicate hues exploding and blurring behind the splendor of that man’s smile.
The “I love you”s would always be real. The kisses would always be rich. The way Alex said his name when he was tired and desperate to have someone to hold onto- that would be ageless. Even in their moments of weakness, even when their flaws were brought to the surface, they would always be the same- Jack, the silly kid who refused to grow up and Alex, the beautiful soul that kept him grounded. He was certain that there was nothing that could ever change that.
Overwhelmed by the feathery feelings of love and adoration that danced in the pit of his gut, in a half-asleep haze, Jack murmured, "I adore you, Alex." The words were so soft and so light they fell like freshly formed snowflakes and drifted delicately into the peaceful quiet. Jack wasn't even sure that Alex could hear them until he kissed his shoulder and whispered back, "And I, you."
Then they fell asleep in each other's arms and slept deeply and soundly... until Perry came in about two hours later from his own nap and jumped on their bed complaining that he was hungry, and startled them both awake. Alex was grumpy and disappointed to have his well-needed nap interrupted, but Jack bounced up immediately and startled tickling the little boy which caused them both to erupt into a fit of giggles. This went on until Jack finally got up and let Perry drag him to the kitchen where they made Mac and Cheese together and banged the pots and pans around loudly, which made it virtually impossible for Alex to go back to sleep.
Alex tried to stay grumpy but found it impossible when fifteen minutes later, Jack came in with their little boy, who carried a bowl of pasta and a glass of milk on a little tray. They both wore apologetic "We're sorry we woke you up- again" grins and Alex couldn't find it within himself to stay mad. So they ended their Saturday with the three of them all snuggled up in the bed, watching cartoons as Alex let Jack feed him macaroni and cheese.
And sure, it didn't seem like what most people would envision a perfect day to be like, but to Alex it couldn't possibly get any better.