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Year 0
Jaehyun has never been so stressed out in his entire life. He was running on 2 hours of sleep, spending the last 18 hours stressing out, pacing back and forth in the hospital lobby waiting for news, any news. Right next to him, leg bouncing rapidly to show his own anxiety, sat his husband. When they first got to the hospital, it was the middle of the night and the waiting room was empty. The gentle hum of nearby machinery doing nothing to calm the nerves that were spiraling throughout their bodies.
As the day went on, the couple watched people come and go. They had received several updates from staff, but there had been no major news. The sterile smell of the hospital was starting to mess with Jaehyun’s head, making him think of injury, and sickness and death. His body was sagged with fatigue as he rested his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle into Doyoung’s arms, but the arms of the chairs prevented him from doing so.
He was startled awake to the sound of footsteps walking down the hall towards the waiting room. When the doctor opened the door, Jaehyun felt the anxiety build back up again. They were the only ones in the room, meaning the doctor was there to tell them news.
“Congratulations,” the doctor exclaimed, face breaking into a huge smile. “You are now the parents of two beautiful, healthy boys.”
Doyoung immediately fell into his arms, relief spreading through both of their bodies. Jaehyun chuckled to himself as he felt tears fall from Doyoung’s eyes and onto the fabric of Jaehyun’s t-shirt. Not that he could blame him, this has been the single most emotional moment of his entire life.
“Can we see them?” Jaehyun asked suddenly. The doctor nodded, leading them back to the room where they would meet their sons for the first time. This is it, Jaehyun thought to himself. I am a dad.
The second the nurses placed baby number one into his hands, Jaehyun burst into tears. The baby in his arms was so beautiful, ethereal, innocent. The baby was everything good about the world tied into one perfect human. And that human was his son.
Next to him, Doyoung held baby number two, the back of his pointer finger caressing their baby’s cheek gently, the most fond expression on his face. “Baby number one is definitely Jeno, and baby number two is Jaemin. I can feel it,” he turned to Jaehyun with a gentle smile.
The two had previously decided on the names Jaemin and Jeno for their sons, and decided that they would know which baby suited which name when they saw them for the first time. And looking down at their sleeping sons, Jaehyun can’t help but think his husband is exactly right.
They switch babies after awhile, Jaehyun taking little Jaemin into his arms. He can’t help but feel the rush of love that courses through his veins for a second time. A voice inside of his head telling him Protect. Cherish. Love. .
Jaehyun hasn’t slept in 18 hours, and he knows that it is just the beginning of long period of sleepless nights. But he can’t feel one ounce of regret for his new life, despite all of the hardships that will follow. His heart feels like a bathtub about to overflow, unconditional love overwhelming his body feeling like it will overflow. Jaehyun is now a dad. He now has a family to call him own. And he can’t feel anything but gratitude for precious, little life.
-
Year 2
When Doyoung gets the call, his heart stops. He grabs his keys immediately and runs out the door, not bothering to put on a jacket despite it being the middle of winter. It doesn’t matter anyway because beads of sweat are already gathering at Doyoung’s hairline. He sweats when he is nervous, and right now is the most terrifying moment of his entire life.
Driving to the hospital only takes about ten minutes, but due to the incessant need to be close to his family, it feels like it takes much longer than that. Because he got a call that his family was hurt and he needed to be there. He needed to make sure that they were okay, that they weren’t----. He doesn’t let himself finish the thought.
He pulls into the parking lot and quickly parks his car. He gives himself one second, just one, to take a deep breath. The first real breath he has taken since he got the news of his family being in a car accident. The first breath that didn’t come out shallow and ragged and full of warm, unfiltered air. When the second is over, he rushes into the hospital and to the front desk demanding to see his family.
They say he can’t see them yet, that the front desk hasn’t received any paperwork on his family yet, so they do not know their condition, or where they are currently. Doyoung walks into the waiting room reluctantly, feeling so close to a breakdown but knowing he has to keep it together for the sake of the ones he loves the most.
Don’t cry Doyoung. You don’t know what happened. There is no news but that doesn’t mean that there is bad news. You got here quickly, you will find out what happened to the soon. Just calm down and be strong. Don’t cry.
His pep talk doesn’t work however, and he bursts into tears the second he walks into the waiting room. Because there sitting on the floor playing with blocks is his little Jeno.
Doyoung immediately takes three long strides across the room, grabbing Jeno and pulling him into his chest. He hugs him tightly, tears falling from his face, inhaling his scent, which smells like no tears baby shampoo and the strawberries he had at snack time.
“Daddy,” Jeno says back, clutching him tight and beginning to cry too. Jeno is too young to truly understand what was happening but he knew that it was scary and that it left him alone. Being in the presence of his daddy really made him feel better.
Despite not knowing the condition of his other son and his husband yet, Doyoung allowed himself a couple seconds of relief. Because no matter what happened, at least Jeno was safe. At least this horrible accident that impacted their family, didn’t have to hurt all of them.
It’s only then that Doyoung notices a nurse in the room, sitting in a chair next to where Jeno was playing. She has a polite smile on her face as she watches the reunion in front of her, sitting back quietly not wanting to interrupt the emotional moment.
“Excuse me. I am Jeno’s father, and I am wondering if you know anything about the condition of my husband and my other son,” he asks, voice trembling with underlying urgency. He still has Jeno wrapped tightly in his arms, the little boy’s eyes drooping slightly, ready to fall asleep after such a traumatic morning.
She smiles at him with sympathy and Doyoung feels all of the blood drain from his face. Oh no. This can’t be happening. Please don’t tell me that this is happening.
Noticing the change in Doyoung’s demeanor she immediately starts talking. “I’m sorry,” she begins, as Doyoung lets out a choked sob.
“No I mean, not like that. Sorry, I’m new here. I mean sorry as in I don’t know anything about the condition of the rest of your family. All I was told was that a car t-boned a family with one adult and two minors, and that the father and one of the children were injured and the other child needed to be supervised until a family member came. I wish I could tell you more, but I don’t know. I’m very sorry,” she finishes.
Doyoung relaxes a little. He had felt like his world had ended in the brief moment where he thought he lost his son and husband. He nods at the nurse and takes another deep breath, grounding himself. He quickly moves to one of the firm leather chairs, sinking down and rocking Jeno back and forth until the little boy is finally asleep.
Doyoung waits for about five more minutes, thoughts ambushing him at one hundred miles per hour bringing him scenario after scenario before he is finally visited by a staff member.
“Kim Doyoung?” a man in scrubs says, looking intently at a clipboard. Doyoung stands up immediately as he walks over to the doctor, desperate for any sort of news. He jolts Jeno a little, who snuffles in his sleep but doesn’t wake up. Doyoung’s grip on his son hasn’t loosened since he first walked into the waiting room.
“I will get straight to the point because I can see how desperate you are and can only imagine how you must be feeling. Your son has a nasty cut on his head that needed stitches, as well as broken arm, but he is going to be okay. He is awake right now and you can go see him. Your husband is also okay. He has a broken shoulder and was knocked unconscious due to whiplash. We did tests and found no damage to his brain or spinal cord. He is still unconscious, but once he wakes up, he will wheel him into your sons room and you can all be together,” he says firmly.
Doyoung’s body immediately relaxes, sagging in relief. It’s over. The worst half hour of his life is now over. He can stop worrying, and focus on helping his loved ones recover.
“You’re very lucky. The whole situation could have been a lot worse, and it looks like you’ll get to bring your family home by the end of the day,” the doctor reassures, leading Doyoung to Jaemin’s hospital room.
Jaemin is sitting up in a hospital bed, staring intently at a TV screen as a cartoon plays, not even noticing his father come in until he sets Jeno’s sleeping body down in the bed next to him.
Jaemin’s reaction upon seeing his father is very similar to his brother’s, and he immediately latches onto his father as tears fall from his face.
Doyoung hugs Jaemin fiercely, one hand with a death grip on his son’s waist while the other rubs his head gently. He can’t help but tear up again as he holds his injured son. Jaemin has a baby pink cast on his arm (a color that he chose of course), and bandages wrapped along one side of his head, but otherwise he is undoubtedly okay.
Doyoung continues to hold his son, rubbing his back until his cries die down and he falls asleep. Doyoung places him back down next to his brother, the shifting weight of the bed waking Jeno up. Jeno blinks rapidly, taking in sight of his brother, before crawling closer to Jaemin, wrapping a gentle arm around his waist and falling back asleep.
Jaemin and Jeno have been inseparable their entire lives, and seeing them together makes his heart flutter. No matter what happens, they are on each other’s team. His thoughts are interrupted by the door bursting open, a creaky hospital bed carrying his husband being pushed inside the room and placed beside the bed containing their sons.
Doyoung immediately rushes to Jaehyun’s side, pulling him into a hug and engaging in his third teary-eyed reunion of the day. Jaehyun is shaken to his core, face paler than usual (which seems impossible), hands shaky, and tears flowing freely from his eyes.
“I woke up and no one was there. I remembered what happened, I remembered the crash and no one was there to tell me where the kids were. I thought the worst. That something awful happened to them and it was all my fault,” Jaehyun sobbed into Doyoung’s chest, words muffled by the soft fabric of Doyoung’s shirt.
Doyoung hugs his husband fiercely, indulging himself in a few minutes in his husband’s arms. He had almost lost the love of his life today, that’s enough to make anyone go crazy with restlessness. He pulls back slightly to cup Jaehyun’s smooth, poreless skin and wipe away his tears, looking at his husband with nothing but love, and thankfulness, and relief.
“Hey,” he whispers quietly, weary of waking up their sleeping babies. “What happened today was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent the accident. And everyone is going to be okay, so don’t stress too much, alright? Let’s just be thankful that we are here, and we are together, and we are safe,” he finishes with firmness in his voice.
“But little Jaemin is hurt and Jeno was probably so scared seeing his brother and father hurt like that. I’m a horrible fath-” Jaehyun cries before immediately being cut off by Doyoung bringing a finger to his lips. “Shhh,” Doyoung says. “Everyone is okay I promise. Let’s take a nap, and in a couple of hours we can all go home and put this horrible day behind us.
Jaehyun is too tired to put up a fight, the pain medication they’ve given him making him drowsy. He watches as Doyoung grabs a sleeping Jeno, carrying him carefully as he tries not to wake him up. He places his son on Jaehyun’s chest, careful to avoid his husband’s broken shoulder, and lets Jaehyun snuggle Jeno close, finally feeling comforted after seeing that his son is okay.
Doyoung does the same with Jaemin, laying down in bed next to Jaehyun and placing Jaemin on his own chest. The whole family is squished into one tiny hospital bed, but it’s okay. It’s exactly what they needed in this moment. To be close to one another, and get through the bad moments together.
-
Year 4
The twins are finally old enough to be attending preschool and it is one of the best and worst days of Jaehyun’s life. He is devastated that his tiny babies are old enough to be attending school. It feels like they are slipping away from him and heading towards a future where they won’t need him. He’s waited his whole life to be a father and he wants to enjoy the feeling of depended upon for as long as possible.
On the other hand, he couldn’t be prouder at how far his babies have come in their four years of life, both coming into their own and developing little personalities.
Doyoung and Jaehyun had them through a surrogate, one of the babies coming from each of them with the same egg donor for both of them. They decided that they didn’t want to know which baby was biologically theirs, but it has become pretty obvious at this point.
Jeno has Doyoung’s wide gummy smile and his kind, gentle heart. Jaemin is built just like Jaehyun with a charming personality that can charm anyone in any given room. It is such a special feeling to have a mini version of yourself on this earth. It is equally as special, to have a mini version of the love of your life also walking this earth. Jaehyun loves them both so much he could explode.
“Papa,” a voice calls out to him. “Do I look cute?” his son asks with a smug look on his face. Jaemin is really cute and he knows it, basking in compliments from strangers and batting his eyelashes at anyone who looks at him for longer than a second.
“Oh course you do baby! You look like such a big boy, Papa can’t even believe it,” he says with a fond look on his face. Jaemin really does look adorable with his wide smile and oversized backpack strapped to his back.
Next to him, Jeno looks up to his father with a subtle kind of eagerness. “Do I look cute Papa?” Jeno asks shyly, looking a the ground immediately after asking the question.
Jaehyun smiles affectionately, ruffling Jeno’s hair slightly. “So cute I can hardly stand it! Now are you boys ready? We’ve got a big day ahead of us and we don’t want to be late,” he announces.
“Wait!” a voice interrupts. Suddenly, his husband enters the room, giant camera in hand. “Not without taking a 1st day of school picture,” he declares, making the boys pose with excited grins on their faces.
Jaemin and Jeno don’t stop talking the entire way to school, chatting happily about all of the things they are going to learn, and all of the friends they are going to make. Even if Jaehyun is sad about his sons growing up, he is so happy that they have the opportunity to grow and learn.
The pull up to the school, other families and children scattered around, everyone trying to make it into the building on this hectic and emotional day. They get the kids out of the car and the whole family walks towards the school. Well, the whole family minus one.
Rooted next to the car is Jeno with a nervous look on his face. This is what Jaehyun was worried about. Jaemin is a very talkative little boy, willing to make friends with anyone. Jeno is a little more reserved, more shy. He is worried that Jaemin will go in and make a ton of friends while Jeno stays on the sidelines, too nervous to approach anyone.
Before Jaehyun can step in and give his son a pep talk, Jaemin steps up, grabbing his brother’s hand. “Let’s go Jeno! We have friends to make, and I don’t want to do it without my favorite brother,” he exclaims dragging Jeno towards the building. Jeno laughs slightly, nerves disappearing and the look of excitement flooding back into his eyes.
Jaehyun is sad they are growing up, but he thinks they are going to be just fine.
-
Year 6
In all honesty, Doyoung is surprised that it hasn’t happened earlier. It is rare to have children who never fight with each other, but Jeno and Jaemin are so sweet that there has never been any sort of conflict that has arisen from the two. Until today.
Doyoung was shocked when he got a call from his son’s school telling him that his son had hit another student. He was even more shocked when he learned that the kid he punched was his other son.
Jaemin was such a kind soul, the type of boy who will make friends with everyone and treat them with respect and decency. He didn’t have a violent bone in his body. Jeno wasn’t an angry person either, and would never provoke anything into a conflict. So what happened?
After meeting with the Principal, they determine that this is a situation that would be better resolved at home. He apologizes profusely for his son’s behavior and promises it won’t happen again.
The boys are silent the entire car ride home, sending occasional glares at each other, but neither daring to utter a word in front of their father. Doyoung hasn’t said anything to them yet, preferring to wait until Jaehyun gets home from work so that they can discuss the incident as a family.
When he pulls into the driveway, he notices that Jaehyun is already there, meaning he got out of work early to have this discussion as soon as possible. He must be just as curious as Doyoung is.
When they enter the house, Doyoung makes the boys sit on the couch, before he goes into the kitchen to grab his husband. Jaehyun gives him a look that tells him that he is just as surprised about the situation as Doyoung is. He gives him a quick peck on the mouth before grabbing his hand and leading him towards their children.
Jaemin and Jeno are sitting on opposite ends of the couch and are looking at everything in the room except each other. When they see their parents walk in, they both turn their gazes to the floor, scared of what their fathers will have to say.
“So,” Jaehyun begins, putting on his firm dad voice. Doyoung finds it kind of hot, but that is besides the point. “Are you guys going to tell us what happened at school today? Because your father and I are very unhappy right now.”
Jeno’s head shoots up, looking at his father worriedly. Jeno has always been perfectly behaved and hates getting in trouble. “I didn’t even do anything, Papa. I was just playing with Donghyuck at recess and Jaemin came up to me and was really angry. Then he hit me. I swear it wasn’t my fault,” he finishes anxiously.
“Jaemin?” Jaehyun asks sternly. “Is that true?” Jaemin keeps his eyes trained on the floor unable to look any member of his family in the eyes, knowing he was in big trouble. “Jaemin…” Jaehyun starts again before the boy finally looks up tears welling up in his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he blabbers. “But Jeno made me so angry I couldn’t help it. He was ignoring me all recess, didn’t even come over and say hi. And he has gotten really close to Donghyuck and he doesn't want to play with me anymore. It’s not fair, Papa. I am his brother! That means he has to play with me,” Jaemin finishes, tears falling from his face.
Doyoung expects Jeno to look apologetic, given that his son hates seeing his brother sad. But all he sees on his face is pure anger. “Are you serious, Jaemin. You have tons of friends. Way more friends than I do. Why do you care now that I finally have one? Can’t I have one friend? One person other than you? It’s not fair that you have all these friends but expect me to only play with you,” Jeno finishes angrily, arms crossed across his chest, nostrils blowing hot air out of his nose as he tries to calm himself down.
Jaemin only cries harder looking really remorseful. That is when Doyoung steps in to comfort him. He knows his son made a big mistake, a mistake that he will face big consequences for, but that doesn’t mean he will sit by while his son is suffering.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it but I miss you, okay? I was jealous that you now have someone close to you that isn’t me and I punched you and now you hate me and will never be my friend again and-” Jaemin rambles before getting cut off.
“Wait a minute,” Jeno says. “What are you talking about. I could never hate you. It doesn’t matter how many friends I have because I only have one brother and you will always be my best friend. I promise.”
Upon hearing that, Jaemin immediately gets up and pulls Jeno into a hug. “You’re my best friend too,” he cries into his brothers shoulders. “I am sorry I hurt you, I will never punch you again.”
Jaehyun and Doyoung looks at the scene in front of them, surprised that they were able to work it out on their own. Their sons continue to amaze them every day.
“Jaemin next time you feel this way you need to talk to Jeno about it and work it out. Hitting is absolutely unacceptable, do you understand?” Doyoung asks seriously. “Yes daddy,” Jaemin replies.
“Good. Now you boys go up to your room and spend some time together, I think Jaemin needs it. And Jaemin, no dessert after dinner this week as a punishment for hitting your brother,” Doyoung adds.
The boys head out of the room arm in arm, Jeno whispering loudly to Jaemin about how he will share his dessert with him when daddy isn’t looking. Doyoung rolls him eyes but doesn’t comment, sinking in the cushions of their old, lumpy couch, too exhausted from the ordeal to do much of anything.
He feels his husband sink down next to him, pulling him down sideways so that they are spooning on the couch.
“They really are something,” Jaehyun mumbles to his husband, already feeling his eyes drooping, ready to fall asleep and take a much needed nap. “They sure are,” Doyoung replies, voice drifting out as the world fades to black, both content despite the drama that unfolded throughout the day.
-
Year 8
There is a reason they call it the happiest place on earth. Taking his family to Disney World was the best decision he had ever made. No one in his family has stopped smiling the entire time they have been here, which Jaehyun particularly loves because they all have such gorgeous smiles.
Jeno and Jaemin are at the perfect age for Disney World. Old enough to do everything and enjoy everything the parks have to offer, while still being young enough to enjoy the magic of it all.
They drag him on ride after ride, which he goes on happily, knowing that Doyoung doesn’t like them. He loves the reactions of his sons, Jaemin’s high pitched screams damaging his eardrums. Jeno’s reactions are quieter than Jaemin’s letting out small giggles and little yells when the ride does something particularly thrilling.
They walk around the park in their matching Minnie Mouse ears (yes Minnie and not Mickey because Jaemin insisted and Jeno lets him get away with anything) and spend the whole day walking around.
Jaehyun’s favorite moment was when the boys met Belle, their favorite princess. They approached her with blushing red faces and staggering steps, shocked to be in the presence of someone so pretty. “Papa she is pretty like Daddy,” Jaemin had whispered to him. Jaehyun can’t argue with that.
The day has finally come to a close, as the family gathers around to watch the fireworks. Jaehyun is eating cotton candy when he feels a tug on his shirt tearing his attention away from his sweet treat. Looking up at him is Jeno, who looks like he had something important to say.
“Papa I just wanted to say thank you for bringing us here. This has been the happiest day of my life and I will never forget it for as long as I live,” he finishes before pulling him into a hug. Jaehyun hugs him back just as tightly, feeling so grateful for this moment. To be here with with family and be surrounded by so much love and happiness.
They pull away as the fireworks start, attention immediately turning to the light display in front of them. Jaehyun watches for awhile but quickly gets distracted by a sight much more beautiful: his husband.
Doyoung looks ethereal under the light display, his skin glowing and his eyes glistening with wonder similarly to their eight-year old sons. Jaehyun gets caught staring quickly, however, his husband turning towards him with a soft small on his face.
Jaehyun can’t resist for a second longer, pulling Doyoung into a soft, deep kiss. He can taste the cotton candy on his tongue and it is so sweet and perfect that it makes Jaehyun want to cry. They have been married for 10 years, together for 14. And not once has Jaehyun felt anything but unconditional love for the man standing in front of him.
Maybe it’s the excitement from the day buzzing through his veins, or the fact that he is at Disney World surrounded by reminders of true love, but Jaehyun can’t help but lose himself in the feeling of being loved. When the finale of the fireworks show begins, Doyoung pulls away slightly resting their foreheads together while their sons cheer at the light display loudly. The happiest place on earth indeed.
-
Year 10
Heading into the elementary school, Doyoung has deja vu from the last time this happened. Except it was Jeno doing the punching this time, and Jaemin was not involved. The two weren’t even in the same class this year, so Doyoung doubted Jaemin even knew of the incident yet.
This time the consequences were worse. Jeno would be suspended for the rest of the day and since Jaehyun was out town on a business trip, Doyoung would have to handle this himself.
They sit in the car in silence. Doyoung because he doesn’t quite know where to begin, and Jeno because he doesn’t want to get into trouble. Doyoung looks in the rearview mirror and sees Jeno biting his bottom lip, trying to stop the tears from flowing from his eyes.
Instead of driving him home, Doyoung pulls into a small diner. He figures they can talk it out over some lunch. Doyoung does not hesitate to punish his kids when need be, but that doesn’t mean he will treat them with any less dignity.
They are seated in a booth with red, vinyl seats, the sound of music from the 50s crooning softly in the background. Doyoung orders them both burgers and fries and a chocolate milkshake to split. Jeno loves chocolate, while Jaemin prefers strawberry.
After the waiter leaves, Doyoung addresses the elephant in the room. “So,” he begins, “I know it’s not like you to get into a fight in school, so I want to hear from you what happened. I know you know that violence will not be tolerated in this family but I want to hear your reasoning.”
Jeno refuses to make eye contact with him, instead choosing to rub his hands over the smooth plastic from the menu in front of him. “He was saying mean things about Jaemin, daddy. I know it was wrong to hit him, please don’t be angry with me. But I couldn’t let him keeping saying horrible things about him,” Jeno says slowly.
Doyoung knew it had to be something like this. Jeno would never hurt anyone in normal circumstances, but he is fiercely loyal, always ready to defend the people he loves. Although he doesn’t condone Jeno hitting anyone, Doyoung can’t help but feel a little proud of his son for standing up for his brother.
Doyoung reaches across the table, grabbing Jeno’s hand. He caresses him with the pad of his thumb letting him thought that everything would be okay; that Doyoung wasn’t upset with him.
“What was he saying baby? It’s okay, you can tell me,” Doyoung says softly. Jeno looks hesitant but Doyoung keeps smiling and stroking his hand, letting him know that it’s okay to tell him.
“He said that Jaemin was dumb and girly and lame because all of his stuff is pink. But he likes pink, and what does it matter? He isn’t hurting anyone. He is just wearing a color. And it looks pretty on him. Why do people care so much? Jaemin is the nicest person ever, he doesn’t deserve that Daddy,” he finishes, slightly out of breath.
Doyoung’s heart breaks a little. Jaemin is certainly more effeminate than most boys in his class, but it had never been an issue before. As Jeno said, Jaemin is very nice and gets along with everyone. It hurts knowing that even at a young age his sons have to be confronted with the reality that the world is a prejudiced place.
“Jeno I am very proud of you for standing up for your brother, but next time please tell a teacher instead of hitting someone when they are being a bully, okay? You aren’t in trouble but if it happens again, I won’t hesitate to deliver consequences,” he explains calmly.
Jeno nods slowly, still looking ashamed. Doyoung expects the guilt will weigh heavy on him for a couple days, and that seems like punishment enough. Their conversation is interrupted by their food being brought to the table and the two spend their meal inhaling their food and talking about less heavy topics.
On the way to picking up Jaemin from school, Doyoung gets a call from Jaehyun asking to speak to Jeno. He hands the phone over to his son, and watches through the rearview mirror as he talks with Jaehyun. He can’t hear what Jaehyun is saying, but based off of Jeno’s increasing smile, he thinks he is probably comforting him.
They arrive at the school just as the phone call is ending. Doyoung greets Jaemin as he enters the car, seemingly oblivious to all the tension from the eventful day they experienced. He thinks at first that Jaemin didn’t hear about what happened. And maybe that is for the best.
Doyoung drives off, the car full of mindless chatter about what Jaemin learned in school that day. It isn’t until they reach a red light and Doyoung looks back that he realizes his sons are holding hands. Aw. So Jaemin does know.
He hopes that Jaemin isn’t too upset about what the other boy had said, or that he tries to change to fit in better. But seeing his son’s hands clasped firmly together, he realizes they will be just fine. They have each other after all.
-
Year 12
Jaehyun knows that he was a bit of a player in his youth, but he would have never expected that his son would have him beat. Jaemin apparently has his first boyfriend at the tender age of 12 and Jaehyun doesn’t know how to feel about it.
12 is surely too young to be dating isn’t it? I mean it’s not like they are even really dating. Probably just saying so as a status symbol. They aren’t going to kiss or anything, right? Jaehyun feels his thoughts spiral and all he can think about is how his son is too young and needs to stay away from all boys or else he will get his heart broken.
He is laying in bed thinking about it, his hands gripping the soft, white sheets tighter and tighter as his thoughts become more and more extreme. Doyoung, who is laying next to him reading a book, noticed and gently grabs one of his hands, freeing the sheets from the death grip Jaehyun had on it.
“Is this about Jaemin having a boyfriend?” he asks quietly. “Because you know it isn’t anything serious. Not like what we would consider a real boyfriend. It’s just a middle school thing,” he affirms.
It amazes Jaehyun to this day that Doyoung can practically read his mind. He figures its a direct result of years and years spent together, but it still makes his heart flutter knowing someone understands him so well. Knowing he has someone who understand what is going on in his head, and confronts him about his thoughts with no judgement, just love and understanding.
“He’s too young to be dating. What if they start having sex? Or he gets his heart broken? He is only twelve 12 for god’s sake. And who is this little punk he is dating? We don’t even know his intentions with our baby. He could be bad news, Doyoung. He is our son, we need to protect him from harm, and boys are harmful,” he finishes in desperation.
Doyoung chuckles, pulling his husband into his chest and stroking his back. “First of all they will not be having sex. Jaemin hasn’t even gone through puberty yet, he barely knows what sex is. They don’t even see each other outside of school, sweetie,” he begins.
“Second of all, we both know that if Jaemin was dating a bad boy Jeno would run to us and tattle. Jeno hates breaking the rules, he would let us know if Jaemin was dating a troublemaker. Lastly, if he gets hurt, he will always have us to pick up the pieces. Getting hurt is a part of love and life babe, that's inevitable. The best we can do is give him a safe space to get through that,” Doyoung says, cheek squished into the side of Jaehyun’s head.
Jaehyun sighs, amazed at how rational his husband can be. They compliment each other so well. Jaehyun being the romantic one, guided by his heart at all times. Doyoung, however, is much more rational and lets his head make decisions for him. Together, they are unstoppable.
“Fine,” Jaehyun finally concedes. “But if Jeno tells us they kissed or something, I’m getting my shotgun and going after that kid,” he says fiercely.
Doyoung laughs. “You don’t even have a shotgun, baby.”
-
Year 14
Jeno has clearly been going through something these past couple of days, and it is stressing Doyoung out. He spends most of us his time locked up in his room, barely interacting with his family. Even Jaemin doesn’t know what’s going on.
Jaehyun says it's probably nothing, just normal teen angst. But Doyoung can’t focus when one of his babies is hurting. Jaemin always goes to him right away, craving his father’s sound advice and warm cuddles whenever he is upset. Jeno is slightly reserved, but always comes to his father eventually.
The problem is Doyoung is impatient. It has been nearly a week since Jeno has been like this. A miserable expression gracing his face, replacing his usual crinkly eye smile. Doyoung misses his smile, it’s one of the cutest he has ever seen.
It isn’t until day 10 that Jeno finally reaches out to him. He is laying on the couch with Jaehyun pulled to his chest mindlessly watching TV when Jeno finally emerges from his room and stands in front of them nervously. His hands are twitching and his has an insecure expression on his face.
Doyoung immediately pulls Jeno down so that he is cuddled in between them, wrapping his arms around his son protectively. “What’s bothering you, sweetie? You know you can tell us anything,” he says gently, rubbing his head and pushing the bangs away of his eyes.
Jeno pauses for a second, taking a deep breath, before asking, “How did you know you were gay?” Jaehyun and Doyoung look at each other, both clearly shocked by the question.
Jaemin had never come out to them, but he has been dating boys since he was in middle school, having a new boyfriend practically every week. Given that their son had never shown any interest in any girls, they assumed he was gay, but were willing to support with with whatever partner he had chosen for himself.
Jeno, however, was a different story. He had never mentioned any interest in boys before. He had mentioned girls previously, but very rarely. He hopes that Jeno doesn’t have any internalized homophobia that has been eating away at him this week. He also wonders what brought this on, because Jeno seemed just fine a week ago.
“Well,” Jaehyun begins, clearly unsure of how to proceed. “All of my life I had been kissing girls and dating them, but it never felt like how I thought it was supposed to. I assumed I hadn’t found the right one, the special person that would give me sparks. And then I had to kiss a boy during a game of truth and dare. I wasn’t even attracted to him but it was already so much better than kissing a girl. That’s when I knew.”
Doyoung adds, “For me, I always knew. My whole life I had crushes on boys and dated them as soon as I could. I never had any interest in girls at all.” Jeno chuckles slightly, confusing his parents. “It’s just,” Jeno begins, “You sound just like Jaemin.”
Doyoung laughs for a brief moment, before getting serious again. “What brought this on, love? Do you think you might gay? Is that what’s been bothering you lately? It’s okay to tell us, you know we won’t judge,” he voices.
“It’s just… It’s not like that for me at all. I like girls. I have had crushes on them. I even kissed one and enjoyed,” he says honestly. Doyoung ignores the part about him kissing because he does not want to imagine his tiny baby kissing someone, and he knows if he thinks about it long enough he will freak out.
“Sweetie, are you worried about being the one straight person in the family? Because you know we don’t care, right? Your father and I are perfectly happy with whomever you choose to be with. Please don’t think we would judge you for something like that. We will love you no matter what,” he states firmly, hoping Jeno understands that the love his parents feel for him is unconditional.
Jeno sighs slightly, rolling his eyes. “It’s not that. Obviously I know that you guys aren’t like heterophobic or whatever. But recently, I started feeling something for a friend of mine. Who is a boy. And I kind of think I’ve felt it all along and I don’t know what it means because up until this point I’ve only liked girls.”
Jaehyun looks at Jeno worriedly, clearly unsure of what his son is trying to say. “Does the idea of liking boys… bother you, Jeno?” he asks nervously. Jaehyun didn’t know what he would do if he had a homophobic son. He thinks it would break his heart a little.
Jeno looks so frustrated, tears welling up in his eyes. “Of course not. I don’t care if I like boys or if I like girls. I just want to know. I am so confused and I just don’t know. I hate it, it’s like I am a stranger to myself,” he says sadly, turning into his father’s chest as he begins to cry.
Doyoung just sits there, patting his sons back trying to calm him down. “Jeno, baby you know it’s okay to like both boys and girls right? You don’t have to choose one or another. You have such a big heart, a kind of heart that loves so openly and beautifully. The type of heart that doesn’t care about boy or girl, but cares about love, and kindness and happiness. Labeling yourself isn’t important when you have a heart like that,” he finishes softly.
Jeno calms down, smiling slightly at his father’s words. His dad always know the exact right thing to say, and he can’t help but feel lucky to have that kind of guidance in his life. “I like that. You’re right, I’ve spent too much time trying to label myself when it doesn’t matter. I don’t know if I’m 100% comfortable with everything right now, but I am just going to try to focus on being happy,” he announces, wiping the tears from his eyes and breaking out into his signature eye smile; a smile his fathers are so happy to see again.
“That's my boy,” Jaehyun said, pulling them both in a tight hug. The moment is interrupted seconds later by a loud shout. “Excuse me,” the voice says. “Is there a reason why this family is having a cuddle party without me?” Jaemin protests.
Doyoung pulls his son down, the whole family engaging in a giant cuddle pile. For the first time since Jeno started acting upset, Doyoung lets himself relax, indulging in the warmth and love that only his family can offer.
-
Year 16
Jaehyun had never had to deal with this before. A school dance. His sons have been mentioning it in passing for the last couple of weeks, and Jaehyun can’t help but feel excited for them.
The whole family is sitting down eating dinner, quietly talking about their days. Jaemin’s new boyfriend Renjun asked him to the dance and Jaemin is giddy, bragging about the cute way he did it.
“He’s an artist Papa. Like a really good artist. And he painted this massive portrait of the picture we took on our first date and in the corner where his signature would be instead was a note asking me to the dance,” Jaemin says with stars in his eyes.
Jaemin had tons of boyfriends since middle school, the longest relationship lasting only 3 weeks. Jaehyun asked him about it, to which the younger replied “I don’t know, I just really like love.” Jaehyun laughs at the memory. That is typical Jaemin right there, giving endless amounts of love to everyone in his life.
Renjun is different though. The two had been together for six months, the longest of any of Jaemin’s relationships by far, and Jaehyun doesn’t think either are planning on ending it anytime soon. He is so happy that his son was able to find something that is exactly what he needs, at least at this point in his life.
Renjun and Jaemin are different in a lot of ways. Jaemin is very, trusting and loving towards everyone he comes into contact with. Renjun is a bit harsher, rougher around the edges. When Jaemin brought Renjun over for dinner, Jaehyun noticed that they really complemented each other. Renjun is very protective and makes sure Jaemin doesn’t get walked all over. Jaemin is gentle, and brings out a softer side of Renjun. It’s really a special sight to see.
Jaehyun turns his attention towards Jeno once Jaemin finishes his story. “Jeno, are you planning on asking anyone to the dance?” he pries gently. Jeno is the complete opposite to Jaemin. He hasn’t dated anyone before, hasn’t even mentioned it.
Jaemin answers for his brother. “He has been asked by several different people but he hasn’t said yes to a single one. Which leads me to believe he has a specific person in mind. Jeno, care to share who that might be with the family?” he asks with a shit-eating grin on his face.
Jeno rolls his eyes at his brother, clearly not in the mood to deal with his constant teasing. “I don’t see how that is anyone’s business, Jaemin,” he gripes moodily. This was the last thing on earth that Jeno wanted to talk about.
Unfortunately for him, Jaemin doesn’t let up. “Come on, Jeno. There has to be someone. Perhaps someone you’ve been pining over for a really long time and are too scared to confess to. A best friend maybe?”
Jeno glares at his brother, his fists clenched into tight fists. “Okay, I am in love with my best friend. Is that what you wanted to hear? That I’m pining after Donghyuck but will never do anything about it because he doesn’t feel the same way,” he says, raising his voice progressively as he speaks.
“Enough!” Doyoung interrupts. “Jaemin, you are not going to say another word about this to your brother, he is clearly stressed enough. Now let’s talk about something else. Jaehyun, how was work?” he asks. Dinner continues on a little awkwardly, Jeno sending glares to Jaemin, while the ladder remains smug.
When they finish, Jeno heads to the kitchen. It is his turn to do dishes tonight, and honestly, he is just happy to escape his brother’s incessant teasing. His peace is interrupted, however, when his Papa walks in. “You wash, I’ll dry tonight,” he announces as he picks up a rag.
Jeno knows his Papa didn’t come just to be helpful. He came to give him an “I’m a dad and I know what’s best for you talk.” Jeno hates those talks.
“So…,” Jaehyun begins. Jeno groans internally already. He is not looking forward to having this talk. “Are you really not going to confess to Donghyuck? Because I really think you should.” Like Jaemin and Renjun, the two complement each other so well. Donghyuck is loud and silly, while Jeno is quiet and serious. Donghyuck helps Jeno out of his shell and shows him how to have fun, while Jeno allows Donghyuck moments of peace and serenity.
Jeno scoffs at that. If he wanted his father’s opinion, he would have asked for it. “What is the point? He doesn’t even like me. I don’t really want to damage our friendship for no reason. I just want to get through the dance without having to worry about it,” he says, hoping he can convey to his dad that he’s serious about this.
“How do you know he doesn’t like you? Does he already have a date? Someone he told you about?” Jaehyun asked inquisitively. He really thinks he is right here and he refuses to give up without a fight.
“Well… not that I know. A couple of people have asked him but he said no to all of them. But that doesn’t mean he likes me because he definitely doesn’t,” he says defiantly.
Jaehyun shrugs, continuing to dry the plates from tonight’s dinner. “Sounds to me like he is waiting for someone. Kind of like how you are also waiting for someone. Something neither of you will get if you don’t bite the bullet and ask yourself,” Jaehyun says casually, putting the plates away in their designated cabinet.
Jeno sighs again, turning the sink off and turning to his father. “Papa, he’s my best friend. I don’t want to risk that when I don’t even know for sure,” he communicates to his dad, hoping he will get the message.
Jaehyun does get the message but chooses to ignore it. “You know kiddo, I also had a crush on my best friend. And I pined after him for years. Even watched him date other people, until I finally confessed to him. And now we are married, with a love that no one else could have given me. Some things are worth the risk Jeno, and I really think this one is worth it.”
Jeno isn’t looking at him, staring out the tiny kitchen window, thinking hard. “I’ll think about it,” he relents. “But don’t be surprised if I don’t do it. And don’t ask me about it either. It’s my decision and I will figure it out on my own.”
Jaehyun agrees and they leave it at that. It isn’t until the next day when Jeno comes home positively glowing that he knows he did it. Jeno went out early this morning, spending the entire day with Donghyuck, and Jaehyun hasn't heard from him at all, so he assumed that Jeno didn't go through with it.
“I’m going to the dance with Donghyuck,” he announces to his father, positively beaming with pride. Jaehyun just smiles and pats his back, proud of his son for having the courage to tell Donghyuck the truth.
Jeno walks towards the stairs, ready to go to his room, when he stops suddenly and turns towards his father. “Umm dad? I just wanted to say thanks. You know, for pushing me,” he says sweetly before turning and running up the stairs.
When the big day comes, Doyoung takes a thousand pictures of the two couples dressed up in their tuxedos, ready for the night. Jaehyun hangs back and watches fondly as Renjun pins a boutineer on Jaemin’s chest, the two grinning at each other with so much affection it makes Jaehyun’s heart ache.
Beside them, Jeno and Donghyuck are a little more awkward, clearly not used to being a couple as opposed to being best friends. But the smiles they give each other and the way their hands are tightly clenching each other’s assures Jaehyun that they are on their way there. He smiles at the two couples as they leave, closing the door and pulling his husband in for a kiss. Aw. To be in love.
-
Year 18
Doyoung has been holding back tears all day. He never thought this day would come. He remembers holding his sons for the first time in the hospital all those years ago, shocked at how small they were. And now they are going to college. They are leaving him.
Doyoung knows he shouldn’t be so dramatic, but he can’t help it. At least they will only be 45 minutes away. And they will be together. Doyoung knows that even if he can’t be there at any moment like he can now, at least they can be there for each other.
Moving them into the dorms is exhausting, and Doyoung absolutely loathes any form of physical activity. Everyone in his family is stronger and more athletic than him, so naturally he makes them carry in all the boxes and assemble everything.
When everything is set up and it’s time to leave, it hits him hard, but he tries to stay strong. This is what you hope for as a parent. To raise your children as best as you can so that they can eventually grow and go on to make their own lives for themselves. He can’t wait to see what the future has in store for them.
“Don’t drink too much. And don’t skip class, you are paying to be here. I don’t care that you no longer live at home, no bringing your boyfriends over to makeout on a school night,” Doyoung lectures to the boys.
“Oh my god, dad. I’m not just going to make out with Donghyuck when my brother is here, that’s so weird,” Jeno says annoyed. Jaemin just smirks at Jeno. “No promises, bro. Renjun is hard to resist,” he jokes mischievously, making Jeno squak in protest.
Jaehyun laughs at the scene in front of him, before interrupting. “Well, I think it’s time for dad and I to head out,” he says softy. They exchange hugs, the mood in the room suddenly becoming more somber.
Jaemin starts crying as he hugs Doyoung goodbye, making his own eyes tear up as well. “Shhh... ,” he comforts, “I will always be here if you need me, okay? Hell or high water, I will be here.” Jaemin nods, pulling away as he wipes his tears.
They share one more round of hugs and then they leave. Doyoung cries to entire way home, Jaehyun clutching tightly to his hand. “They’ll be alright,” Jaehyun promises. “We raised them right, afterall.”
“Yeah. We really did, didn’t we?”