Chapter Text
November 5th, 2006 - Sunday
Rumors of Jeongin Yang passed around quickly. The wednesday immediately after, was when words like ‘kidnapped’ and ‘runaway’ were staining the hallways in their school. Of course, the talk died quickly - maybe a week later.
But, once police were becoming involved, interest sparked again. The handful of students people could easily pair off into Jeongin’s circle were pulled out of class for interrogation. Even the thought of students in their school being talked to by the police made plenty of peers jittery with anxiety and excitement. It was gross, being excited by the idea of a missing child.
Most were underclassmen, but Seungmin Kim from Chan’s history class was asked to the guidance office during note-taking. Jeongin’s reputation as the local missing boy tended to fluctuate between being a hot topic and an untouched discussion. It was very easy to forget Jeongin existed sometimes; Unless you were one of his few friends.
It was different in Chan’s case.
Jeongin Yang was standing in Chan’s backyard, staring at him through the kitchen window, standing by the decade old swing-set. Chan never spoke to him, not once, but he knew his face from the poster on the pinboard outside the school. Maybe one of Jeongin’s friends pinned it up, not that it would of done much.
Chan’s first reaction is to go outside, something pulls inside of him to rush Jeongin. Like he was going to disappear again if he didn’t hurry. And oddly enough, that’s what happened.
It was just before midnight, already an odd time for Chan to be awake - but, not really, he had trouble sleeping a lot. Sometimes it was better to not bother trying at all.
The second he was outside, Jeongin was gone. No sign anyone had even been there. Not that there would of necessarily been one anyway.
It wasn’t something Chan saw himself being able to ignore very easily, how purely odd it all was.
Before Chan went back inside, he looks over his shoulder, hoping to catch Jeongin again. As expected, he didn’t see him.
- - - - -
November 6th, 2006 - Monday
The usual heavy heart and tired eyes the rest of the students have, while filing into the school building, greet Chan as he pushing past a few students still talking about their weekends. Chan makes sure to avoid looking at the missing poster beside the advertisment for student council, before slipping into the front of the building. A hand reaches over to Chan’s collar and gives a soft tug for him to look in the other direction, Jeongin's poster just out of focus. Posed with a hand on her hip, Jihyo stares at Chan a second before scowling a bit. Her lower lip stuck out just enough to still look cute despite her tone. “You didn’t sleep last night, Channie. Did you?”
He had dark spots under his eyes, Chan caught them in the mirror while he washed his face that morning. “Couldn’t sleep,” he hums, looking down to her fingers still pinched around the collar of his shirt. He raises a hand to knock hers away. “Besides, some weird shit happened… Like, creepy-weird shit. Kept me up.”
“Like?” Jihyo nods for Chan to follow her into the school building. They walk close enough for their legs to brush together every few steps.
He wanted to take her hand, but lately he worries things were starting to become strained between them. Not that Chan could entirely put his finger on it. There was something about their interactions recently - at times Jihyo felt more like a second-mother to him, rather than his girlfriend. It makes him not want to bother her with the unusual events from the night before, now, too. Knowing that she would fight him on it, Chan continues. “The kid that went missing…” Chan starts.
“Jeongin?” Interrupts Jihyo.
He nods. Chan wishes she didn’t say his name. Maybe labeling him as ‘the kid that went missing,’ to not think of him as a person at all, was just easier. “I swear to god I saw him last night. In my backyard… By Hannah and Lucas’ swing-set.”
Jihyo nods softly. “Ah… Well, Chris… ” She pauses to tease. “What did Jeongin want?”
“‘Dunno,” Chan confesses, not bothering to say anything about what name she used. “Second I went out there to see what was what, he was gone.”
“You might have imagined it,” she rationalizes. “Delirious from lack of sleep…” Jihyo stops to reach up and hold Chan’s jaw in her small hand. She squishes his face and smiles. “You need to sleep more.” Her tone is almost peachy, but beneath that layer, she’s concerned. Chan hates it.
“I know,” he mumbles, looking like a pouting child from the manhandling. “But, I also know what I saw.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I swear! I swear to god I saw him!” Chan’s attempts at convincing Jihyo are a bit lost.
Jihyo drops her hand back to her side and they continue to walk again. She shifts her school bag around on her shoulders, Chan tugs it in attempt to carry it for her. She doesn’t let him. “You weren’t friends with him, were you?”
“No.”
“So why would he go see you?” She asks, they pause outside a classroom. “No offense, it just doesn’t make any sense.”
She had a point, Chan could admit - to himself, only. “I don’t know but- but I know it was him.”
Jihyo makes a face and turns to the classroom and looks back to Chan. “I- I’m not sure what you want me to say. We can talk later?”
She leaves, Chan goes to class.
- - - - -
Once Chan reaches history - his fifth period - he remembers Jeongin again. That being said, it wasn’t that he exactly forgot, it was just a lot harder to ignore now. The first thing Chan’s eyes land on is Seungmin Kim, who was already pulling out his textbook.
It would be inappropriate for Chan to say anything to him. He barely knows Seungmin - barely knew Jeongin. Or, knows. Barely knows Jeongin, a few rumors about the kid maybe dying don’t have to mean anything.
Suddenly, Chan just starts thinking about it. About people saying Jeongin might be dead. He probably did imagine him last night, either way.
Jeongin was close-ish with Seungmin, plenty know that now. Two days after Jeongin’s face started appearing in the newspaper and on evening television, Seungmin had suddenly burst into tears in the middle of class. But, not really burst into tears. It had been class like normal, but from the second to last row of desks, someone started sniffling and Chan turned just in time to see Seungmin bury his face in his his arms. Not many hints were required to tell he was crying.
Seungmin - close-ish with Jeongin, but Jeongin’s best friend was a sophomore named Hyunjin Hwang.
Chan spent the first twenty minutes of class busying himself with thinking about Jeongin’s inner-circle of friends. His own friends had some ties to Jeongin’s, but nothing really direct. Nothing to justify Chan's sudden overt attachment to Jeongin. Or, maybe not quite so overt as it was now just something Chan noticed about himself. Thinking about a kid that no one has heard anything about in a month, stuck in his own head about the disgustingly interesting mystery in their small-ass town.
Four pages of note-taking and a reading assignment later, class is dismissed for lunch, Chan hurries so he can reach Jihyo’s class. He’s been on the other end before, waiting outside the classroom for her to join him, so he always tries to reach her quickly. But, Seungmin is just ahead of him, and Chan suddenly feels almost nauseous. He wants to say something about seeing Jeongin, even if Jihyo is right and it was some figment of his imagination. He needs to blurt it out and maybe one of Jeongin’s friends would be the right person to hear.
His mouth feels dry and he starts to raise a hand to tap on Seungmin’s shoulder, but he pulls back. Chan wagers it in his head again, but Seungmin joins two other students and Chan feels too shy to interrupt them. He turns to leave in the other direction, going to the science hallway to meet with Jihyo.
She’s plenty happy to see him, quickly bouncing over and taking his hand. Chan decides he won’t bother her just then with rambles about Jeongin again. Jihyo talks to him about a test she took two periods ago, expressing her worries about the grade. He’s a good boyfriend, speaking softly about how often she had studied and how smart she is.
They reach the cafeteria, Changbin is already waving them over to their table. “You’ll never believe it!” His speech slightly slurred from how quickly he spoke. “Guys! C’mere, don’t want the whole cafe’ hearing this!”
“They’d hear it even if you tried ‘whispering,’” Jihyo teases.
Changbin rolls his eyes and gestures them to come closer. “I went over to Jisung’s last night, I was gonna bug him over the homework. ‘Gonna see if he had it done.”
Jihyo raises an eyebrow and Chan nods for him to continue. “Come on, what is it?”
It was good to take his mind off of everything with Changbin’s gossip.
“Everyone was already asleep, so I was gonna do that thing where I throw pebbles at his window…” Changbin starts laughing. “So I was sneaking into the backyard.”
“Did you break into Jisung’s house? Please tell me you didn’t break into his house. His parents are such nice people…” Chan playfully groans.
“Jisung was in his backyard.”
“Okay.”
“He was with someone…” Changbin’s tone is suggestive.
Jihyo immediately gets excited. “Who!?” She squeals, hurriedly leaning over the table just to show how interested she.
Changbin glances from side to side, even Chan was getting invested now. “Go on, Mate,” he says, fully prepared for the cracks at his slang.
Changbin rushes out the name, nearly squealing, too. “Felix!” It’s hushed enough to still count as a whisper.
Despite Changbin’s own reaction, Jihyo falls back in her seat. “Oh,” she says. “And this is interesting because?”
“I think… Someone was confessing…”
Truthfully, Chan was thrown off, to say the least. He did consider Felix as his best friend - through and through. What started off as a stupid bond over the fact they both were born in Australia, did turn into a legitimate friendship. Should Felix of been the one harboring a crush at all, it was surprising that he never said anything to Chan. “Huh,” Chan starts a thought, but doesn’t get to finish, since the two gossip culprits were rolling up to the table.
“Hello,” Jihyo sing-songs. “What goes on?”
“Where’s Minho?” Felix asks, ignoring her question.
“Doctor’s appointment,” Changbin answers. “Be back tomorrow… But! World of the living, how are we?”
Jisung flops into a seat beside Changbin. “Nothing much - Tackled on my way into school today.” He eyes Changbin.
“Homework?” Chan guesses, sliding in his seat to make room for Felix.
“Changbin told you?” Jisung asks.
“Something like that,” Jihyo answers. Her eyes flicker back and forth between Felix and Jisung. “How was everyone’s weekends? Mine, personally, was boring.”
“How come?” Felix asks. Chan slightly side-eyes him, wondering about his possible feelings for Jisung.
Jihyo takes a turn at side-eyeing Chan. “I was suppose to go on a date with my boyfriend, but he didn’t sleep for two days. So, I told him to nap instead. I’m a good girlfriend, of course.”
“You’re making me feel bad.”
“I want you to sleep, darling,” Jihyo tilts her head cutely, puppy eyes and pouty lips. Chan puts an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. “For me,” she finally adds.
Jisung eyes Felix a moment. “My weekend was,” he pauses, watching him a bit longer before tearing his eyes away and finally settling on a spot on the wall just past Changbin. “Eventful.”
“I see,” Changbin says. “Chan? What about you?”
He looks at Jihyo a second. “Something really weird happened last night.” He doesn't miss Felix nearly humming in agreement. For now, Chan ignores it. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Uh-huh,” Felix goes.
“So I was fuckin’ around my house, bored as ever. I’m hanging around my kitchen, when I see… Jeongin Yang.”
A few curses are said, Changbin holding a skeptic look on his face. “Isn’t he… Missing? Like, over a month now…” Changbin says and adds for good measure. “I’m just saying, what would he be doing hanging around your house?”
“That’s what I said!” Jihyo chimes in. “Like, you two weren’t even friends! Not in any way!”
“I know! Which is why it’s weird…” Chan defends. “And then, shit, I go outside to… Say something? I dunno, figure out what the hell he wants, when he’s suddenly gone again.”
“That’s…” Jisung starts. “Weird.” He concludes.
“Very weird,” Felix adds.
Jihyo waits a moment before speaking again. “Jisung, Felix…” She starts, they both snap their eyes in her direction. “You’re friend with… uh-Hyunjin Hwang and... Seungmin Kim, right?”
“Yeah,” Jisung answers. “Why?”
“Have they… Said anything to you?”
“No,” Felix answers a bit too quickly. “They haven’t- No. We didn’t really… Know Jeongin, y’know? I think he said ‘hi’ to me once. Hyunjin and Seungmin both they… tend to keep that stuff to themselves, y’know?”
Jihyo seems satisfied with the answer and Changbin suddenly pipes up with a new topic. “This is depressing,” he points out. “I’m going to tell you guys about how I nearly got detention on Friday, because I don’t think I’ve told any of you.”
So Jeongin is dropped once again.
- - - - -
The conversation at lunch - the bits with Jeongin, as well as this Jisung-Felix bullshit - kept Chan’s head too preoccupied for anything else. So much so, that he leaves for home without Jihyo. He barely notices until he’s five minutes off school property and he starts to notice the steady sound of sneakers hitting pavement.
“Hello!” She snaps - but, not quite.
“Oh,” he goes. “Fuck.”
“You… Didn’t wait for me…” She sounds hurt, but almost concerned. Chan was starting to really not like how often she was concerned for him. “Did something happen?”
Chan’s house is in sight, so he nods for her to continue with him. “I’m distracted today, love, I’m sorry - I really am. I just-uh-just can’t seem to focus.”
Jihyo reaches out to take his hand, but hesitates. Chan closes the gap between them and links their fingers. “The Jeongin-Thing, that’s seriously getting to you, isn’t it?”
They turn up to Chan’s home, Chan a few steps ahead to open the door. “A little. It’s- It’s unsettling, seriously. He’s been missing a month, rumors are going around...”
Once inside, Jihyo voices her thoughts. “You think you saw a ghost or something?” Maybe she’s being serious or maybe she’s trying to lighten the mood - Chan can’t tell.
Chan tosses a look to her. They both start up the stairs to Chan’s bedroom, a routine driven into them. He shrugs. “Doubt it, but- but even if I didn’t really see anything. Even if it was just- just my delirious-ass mind cooking up something weird, why him?”
Jihyo perches herself on Chan’s bed - it was made, very clearly not slept in. She ignores it. “We all feel… Bad about him. I feel sick, almost, like… Chan, this isn’t a big town,” Jihyo says. “It’s been a little over a month, there’s… Not a lot of other possibilities here.”
“So what do you think?”
“I don’t know what I really think about that. What I think about you is that everyone is getting freaked out and scared over him. Hoping to be the one to find him - hoping what everyone is saying isn’t true - that’s… Normal.”
Chan sits beside her, laying back and guiding Jihyo to lay beside him. She does. “Half the school is saying he’s dead,” Chan sighs. “And I didn’t even know him. I shouldn’t be getting so- so worked up--”
“This kind of stuff screws with everybody’s head,” she hushes. “Let’s just sleep for now, okay? You’ve barely slept over the weekend, we can talk in a few hours.”
He would rather not agree, not that he wants to talk about the Jeongin business anymore, either. Chan just wants the world to stop spinning so fast for a damn minute and sometimes it spins faster when he tries to sleep it away.
But he lets Jihyo curl up next to him, careful not to touch him - he gets fidgety when he tries to sleep after too many days awake, Jihyo’s learned to just lay beside him. Chan pulls a blanket on top of them both and he tries to let himself blink in and out of consciousness.
It's not workign but he can feel the minutes drag on, blurring together and losing track of everything. It feels too continous, heat building, his chest burns. Someone whispers something in Korean to him, not that he thought he spoke it very well anymore.
Across the room, Jeongin Yang’s notorious thin eyes stare at him.
Chan jumps, staring back. He watches Jeongin blink three times at him. Chan blinks twice, Jeongin is gone after the second blink.
“Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh fuck-shit. Shit-fuck,” Chan curses, Jihyo is already sitting up. “Oh my God- Oh my God, I saw him again.”
The clock says it's been two hours. “Huh?” She goes. “Jeongin?”
“Yes, Jesus- Jesus fuckin’- Fuck. Fuck.”
Jihyo whips around, looking every which-way in Chan’s relatively small bedroom. She stares in the direction of where Chan spotted Jeongin, for what feels like, a few minutes, at least. She looks to Chan. “He was in here?”
Chan vaguely nods in the direction - it was over in-between his closet and his chest of drawers. “Right there…” He feels prickling behind his eyes. “Oh Jesus.”
“Chris,” she whispers, his second name rolling off her tongue quickly. “Shit… Are you alright?”
“I feel... Gross,” Chan finally voices. “I don’t- I don’t know. I just- just…” He stares at his closet door for another second. “I don’t know.”
She takes his hand slowly and hums. “He wasn’t really there, you know, if that’s what you’re scared of.”
“Maybe he was.”
Jihyo starts to wiggle out of bed, sliding out from under the blanket without disturbing Chan too much - which, to say the least, was still pretty disturbing. She stands over by the closet. “Maybe he’s hiding away inside. Slipped away in the blink of an eye.”
The way Chan’s heart began to race, watching as Jihyo starts to open the door. He isn’t sure whether he wants Jeongin to be waiting on the other side. Jeongin hiding behind the door, holding his breath. Maybe he's been hiding there all along and he's just finally letting the game come to an end. Maybe Jeongin's been fine this whole time.
Winter coats and a pile of shoes stare back at him, Chan feels his stomach lurch. “Okay,” he says.
Jihyo looks back at him while closing the door. “You’re still freaked out.”
He isn’t able to stop himself before it’s said. “Jihyo, can you--” He does stutter for a second. “Do you think you- you can--”
“Do you want me to go home?” She asks quietly.
He’s ashamed, maybe, and a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. He brings a hand to his mouth. “I’m just- I don’t know. I don’t- I don’t want to be around… Anyone and I- I just--”
Jihyo crosses the room to him, leaning over, so she was staring at him at eye level. “Please don’t apologize,” she says. “I understand what you mean, hon’, it’s alright.” She glances to the door. “I can show myself out… And please, go to sleep soon, okay?”
She pecks his lips briefly before heading towards the door, tossing a glance over her shoulder that’s accompanied with a big smile. Chan flops back onto his bed and hums to himself, not missing how Jihyo’s voice carries up the stairs when she greets Chan’s mother.
“He didn’t sleep again, so I’m just heading home… Keep an eye, would you?”
Jihyo and Chan have been dating for two years and seven months - but who was counting? - and since finding out about his insomniac behavior, Jihyo has only since been acting more and more like a second mother than a girlfriend. She worries too much, Chan feels terrible. He should talk with her, talk it out like a mature couple should.
And, despite her soft voice and big eyes, Chan does not find it within himself to sleep that night.