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“Hey boss”
Seshmir looked up at the sound of his own voice coming from somewhere in the room.
“What’s up, Jenkins?”
“I think you’re about to have a bad day, boss.”
“How bad?” Seshmir asked with no little amount of trepidation in his voice.
“Well two cops just came in the building and they look pleased with themselves,” replied the seemingly disembodied voice.
“Oh that can’t be good.”
With that Seshmir stood up and walked the few steps into the kitchenette of his combination office and apartment and poured a glass of water. With a toothy grin on his draconic face, he practically skipped over to the front door of his office which he opened just the slightest bit. Stretching his lean form up, he carefully balanced the glass of water on top of the door, then scrambled back to his desk chair.
“Boss, they’re gone beat the crap out of you for that,” the still disconcerting bodiless sound of his own voice chided from somewhere in the room.
“Yeah,” Seshmir chortled, “but you gotta remind them that they can’t intimidate you from time to time.”
“It’s still gonna hurt, you batshit crazy son of a bitch,” Jenkins chided.
“Still worth it,” said Seshmir as the first cop shoved his way through the door without knocking.
----
“Two”
“Dealer takes three.”
“Five.”
“Bold move, little man. You got the cards to back it up?” Seshmir teased.
With that Jenkins promptly vanished from the edge of Seshmir’s desk.
“Dammit Jenkins! You know the rules! No invisibility when we are betting.”
“Fine, fine,” Jenkins muttered in Seshmir’s voice as he reappeared on the desk.
With that Seshmir sighed in exasperation and closed his eyes. As his did so, Jenkins quickly checked his cards again.
“Boss! Now who’s cheating? No looking through my eyes when we are playing cards,” Jenkins fumed. “You’re supposed to be the honest one here.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” said Seshmir with exaggerated innocence as he pushed the pile of coins in front of him into the pot.
“All in”
“Jerk. I fold.”
-----
“Hello. I am Yearning for the Light but Forever Lost in the Shadows and this is my sibling Fleeting Word That Haunts the Mind Forever. You were recommended to us as someone who could act as an intermediary in a delicate transaction,” said the elf as they shook Seshmir’s hand.
“More like Haunts the Pants Forever,” Jenkins giggled in his mind.
“Shut up!” Seshmir thought back at him.
Seshmir ushered them to the chairs by the desk and offered them a drink to begin the usual process of putting them at their ease before any real discussion could begin.
“Oh yes. Bring them over to the desk. It’s a good desk. Well built. I’m sure it could hold all three of you and you’ve never had siblings before.”
“You are such a rat bastard!”
“No. I’m a fiend from Hell. Remember Tessa told you that months ago,” Jenkins snarked, continuing their silent banter.
“Just shut up and let me do my job!” Seshmir fumed mentally while trying to appear calm and professional in front of the potential clients.
“So, what is the nature of this transaction and how can I assist you?” asked Seshmir in his most professional tone.
“Well first I’m going to need you to smear honey all over our bodies and then staring licking…” Jenkins began.
But at that point Seshmir, ever grateful that scales covered even the most furious blush, had finally had enough. Without a word he raised his hand and eldritch blasted Jenkins where he was perched, invisible, on the filing cabinet by the door, banishing him back to Hell until Seshmir could recast the ritual that summoned his asinine familiar.
“I am so sorry,” he said soothingly to the startled elves as he tried to calm them.
“The previous tenants in the office above me left a bunch of food and garbage behind when they moved out and the super didn’t clean it out before the rats moved in. I’ve been fighting them off for days and the exterminator won’t be here until tomorrow. Please continue.”
“Though they would look really good drizzled with honey,” thought Seshmir, silently beating his head against the desk in his mind.
-----
“They’re two blocks over, boss, and still trying to spot a tail so hang back.”
“Not a problem,” Seshmir replied silently across the mental link to his familiar while strolling slowly through the neighborhood. He greeted passersby and shop keepers as he walked by. Stopping occasionally to check in on one of his “contacts.” Just regular folks who might remember a face or a name for good ol’ Seshmir when they wouldn’t talk to the cops. These strolls were important even if he wasn’t on a job.
“Do they still have the bag?” he asked Jenkins over their link.
“Yep and it looks like they may be going to ground. They are heading down an alley next to the bakery on Ambrose.”
“Alright. I’ll be there in ten. See if you can get in close. I don’t want them switching the money while they are out of sight.”
“Bite me, blue boy. I know how to do my job. I’m already in the room with him. Small storage building behind the bakery. Two entrances. Rolling door to the alley and regular door into the bakery yard.”
“Got it. Be ready to run the jig is up.”
“Figured.”
Seshmir continued to stroll leisurely towards his target. Giving them time to drop their guard and stop looking out for a tail. About ten minutes later he arrived. Briefly he looked through Jenkins eyes to get a feel for the target and the room. With silent nod to himself, he scrambled over the wall and hid to one side of the door out of the storage building.
“Get in position by the rolling door. I’m ready,” Seshmir thought to Jenkins.
Moments later Seshmir’s voice boomed seemingly from the rolling door as he spoke through his familiar.
“Leave the bag on the table and come out with your hands up. I don’t want any trouble, and no one has to get hurt.”
Without hesitation the young human bolted for the door on the opposite wall that lead towards the bakery. Seconds later he was folded up on the ground gasping for breath as Seshmir rammed his head knocker into the kid’s gut.
“Nice one, boss.” Jenkins thought across their link.