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It was a dark stormy night on an obscure stormy planet.
Lightnings were falling off the skies, hitting the barren soil of that ancient forgotten land.
The council of nine was finally reunited once again.
A single freezing howl broke the night. It was her. And the councilmembers knew she was only the vanguard. They were about to arrive on the nameless Land, and everything was about to change.
The corgis of Time
There was a time when the entire gang was mortal.
They used to run around on green grassy fields, under the sun or under a soft unperceivable rain; their heart shaped butts wiggled waggled with joy as human hands patted them on the back, caressing their soft fur with love.
It was an easier time back then, a simpler one. It was the time before the rift, before the time stop running, before the Polyverse, and before the rainbows. The ancient land now known as Terra-0 was filled with people and animals and life forms, there was no magic back then – and at least that didn’t change with time.
They were happy, but they were restrained in their mortal bodies.
Then the storm came.
«I’m sure it’s going to rain» borked Shade, rolling her back on the grass.
«Why?» Steno was trying to catch her own tail.
«I just know that».
«She just know that» howled Gala jumping up and down frantically next to her best friend «She knows it, she knows it!»
“Oi, gals, shut yar muth” screamed an old man, looking out of an old cracked window “Time to get in da barn, gunna rain”.
«What did he say, what did he say?» asked an over hyped Yellow.
She had been called Yellow because of a subtle discoloration of her soft fur, but she preferred to call herself ‘The Canadair’ as she loved the buzz bois who did the yellow sauce and secretly she wanted to be just like them: a flying stingy angery corgi.
«He said it’s going to rain» replied Tabata, yawning. Those pups were tiring her out, she was an old soul, despite not being old at all, and her favourite sports were napping, couch biting, jumping anxiously while waiting for food and barking at that handsome pidgeon she named Liz.
«I told you» Shade rolled back on her paws doing some of her younger corgo frens an hecking scare. She had the gift, not of vision of course, there was no magic on earth, but she had the gift of logical thinking. Well the thinking alone was more than most of the other corgis of the pack could do, but she also had knowledge. To be quite honest Shade was the brightest of the pack although she often belittled her own special qualities.
«Shouldn’t we go inside then?» asked Sakurai in a soft voice «I don’t like the rain, I don’t like to do walksies in the mud pool, my paws get wet».
«And he’s going to raise its voice» whispered Ellery, she was the shyest of the pack, always so calm and at the same time anxious. The old man once told all of them “She’s a rescue pup, be considerate with her, ya buch of over excited bitchasses”. They had stolen his shoes and borked all day long. It was a joyful even when Ellery joined the gang.
«Don’t worry Ells » Kat rubbed her snoot over her friend ear «He’s not. Young mama will come get to bring us to the barn before it starts».
She was the ever confident of the pack, always ready to borrow her paws to her frens, doing a protec and listening to their problems. She would always make sure to give them many kisses before night and in the morning, she always waited for the pack to be together before strolling out, no one was left alone when Kat was there.
Of course the pack was hecking big; there were many corgos, all of different shape, size, age and colour, and they all were majestic. What none of them was aware of was that the day was about to take an unexpected turn.
It started with a thunder and the stern yet slightly scared voice of Alexiel shouting.
«To the barn, hop, hop. Stop sniffing butts you two!»
Smile and Visbs scrolled their non-existant corgi shoulder and hopped towards their friend.
«You were licking your butt just a second ago» pointed out Smile, trying to scratch her year with one of her short back legs.
«I’m not a heccing catto! How dare you!» Alexiel snorted, pretending to be bamboozled, «anyways we have to-»
Her hyped bork – as all Corgi’s speeches are, was suddenly interrupted by a purple thunder and it was then that the first unexpected thing happened: the pack went deadly silent.
Now, for all of you that are not aware of what a corgi is let me tell you something: have you ever been on drugs? Well, imagine a short orange doggo, with teeny tiny legs, soft heart shaped butts, with an even shorter wiggly waggly tail. Well now feed this dog cocaine and watch it going hype and then falling right on a side in a deep comatose like state (normally called sleep) just to jump right back up after five minutes to get up and down on his four paws in a completely robotic and unrealistic movement.
Well, a corgi is all that, except you won’t get broke buying your dog cocaine because that’s their natural state.
«HECCING PAWSOME» screamed Shika jumping up and down «Look, look, look. WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE TREATOS IS THAT?»
Right in the middle of the field there was a something. It was like a purpleish, bluish, shiny veil floating right in front of their eyes.
«Can I sniff the thingy? I’mma go and sniff the thingy».
«Sylv, no» borked Hermes, howling in discomfort.
«It’s just a big thingy, what can possibly go wrong?» Kyrie trotted along, curious.
«I’m going to have a sniff too, possibly I’m going to pee on it too» Jaq moved up from her sitting position (her skills at responding at the sit command were amazing) and followed her frens.
And just like that three of their beloved members disappeared into the veil of unknown colours.
«QUICK, EVERYONE, PLAY POSSUM!» shouted Venom, falling on a side like her software malfunctioned, immediately followed by her trusted companion Shika.
«Now it’s not the time to play possum, fellow corgo’s» shouted Alexiel.
«It’s time to bork and bark» continued Shade.
«And do a heccing attac!» finished Tabata.
And so, in a rumble of over excited borking, in an awkward and clumsy run on their short paws the entire gang disappeared.
«Oh. So that’s what it was» said Akemi with a pensive look on her corgo face, almost uniting her paws «A rift in time and space!»
«Of course it heccing was, my esteemed collegue» continued Mrs. While farting on a cloud of pink glitters «Which would also explain why we are getting so smart».
«We have always been smart!» protested Smile, moving her snoot from right to left, it was a classic gesture she used to do when she was slightly offended.
«Well, don’t you go and insult me now, speak for yourself. We all know I’m stoopid».
«Sorry Alexiel, you were» Shade interrupted her «If my calculations are exact we transcended mortality and we are now finding ourselves in a space between dimensions, over time and space. We are not in Kansas anymore, I feel this is not the Ruby farm. We are where we are, lost, like travellers among the Lands. We’ll stay in this uncanny space for a while until a new rift opens and let us out. But when that happens, we won’t be just the Rubies anymore, we’ll be the Corgis of time».
«Uhm… so no sniffing?»
«No pooping?»
«NO TREATOS?»
«No stingy bois?»
«POSSUM!»
«SQURREL!»
«GLITTERS!»
«Don’t fret, frens, we did a protec, we did an attac, but most of all we will soon do a bamboozle and get bac!» shouted Tabata.
«We’ll heccing show them who has the power, who owns time and space and most importantly, we’ll show them who’ll get all the pats and treatos and all the scratch scrotch!» Alexiel continued.
«And the Corgis of time will finally rule the land» finished Shade.
The councilmember shivered out of fear.
The first of the corgis of time had arrived and that could only mean one thing: the end of the world as they knew it.
Sitting in the back, peacefully laying on a silver throne, a woman laughed.
«What are you so scared of, priests?»
«Don’t you know? That’s her, the vanguard, the might warrior, the Tabata. You should know, aren’t you her?».
The woman laughed again it was a crystalline sound, it looked light she was lightening up the area where she was standing, but of course it was impossible, there was no light on the nameless land.
Then, as the question was asked, silence fell.
The Tabata arrived is a storm of purple lightning, crossing the deep black skies, with an howl and a bork (and a slight wiggle) she started to speak.
«I am the vanguard of the Corgis of Time. This is a fertile land and we will thrive, we will rule over all this land. And we will call it… this land».
The woman laughed again.
«We can feel your fear, mortals. This barren land is afraid of us, but we’ve seen its true face The streets and the soils are dead, the plants have died and no living creature can survive in its endless darknes. Yest we still hear it moaning in fear and screaming "Save us!"».
She stopped and another black lightning crossed the night, illuminating the pinkinsh hair of the woman in the back and opening a rifts.
The corgos came running, like the pack they had always been, floating in the sky, filled with magic. Then they resumed their speech, talking in unison: «And we'll whisper "Yes of course we’ll help fren, we are not mostros"».
All it took was the blink of an eye and suddenly the air was filled with agry borking and running corgos, doing the nine priests of the council an heccking scare and bamboozling each other with clever tricks. A purple light followed where they walked, illuminating the eternal night and as they run around the ground flourished and grass and flowers grew from the barren soil wich wasn’t banner anymore.
And that was their greatest power, for has a team they could heccing bamboozle an entire land, making it fertile again, filled with many raimbows, stringy bois, flowers and places to to a pee or a sniff. The barren land was now a corgo paradise and sure as hell nothing was as it was before.
«Well» said the woman, getting back on her feet, approaching one of the corgis «You sure are something new in the Polyverse, aren’t you? And quite amazing too, I must say».
«We are the corgis of time, we do a protec, we do an attac, but most of all we save everyone if you ask».
The woman laughed again, passing her gentle, long fingers on the fur of the pup who was standing closer to her. Smile did a wiggle waggle, it has been a long time since the last time she received some scritches.
«Do you know who I am?» she asked.
The pupperinos shook their heads in denial.
«I am the seer, the clairvoyant».
Someone howled, someone else did a waggle in excitement.
«We do know who you are» relied Shade, looking at her «We’ve heard of you».
«So did I, my pawsy friend. And I must say I am impressed, more than I was expecting. I knew you were peculiar, but you exceeded my expectations».
«We are honoured» Tabata sat in front of the Clairvoyant, looking at her «And what can we do for the ruler of Tanit?»
«For me? For this ruler? Nothing, dear pup. But there will come a time, after the rift to your land opens again, and when you once again find a master, that your help will be needed. Not for me, though, for someone else, a future me, a future ruler of Tanit».
Alexiel growled, rolling on her back.
«And what do we do in the meantime? There’s nothing much here for us».
«Well, you can rule upon all this land and wait».
«For what, for whom?» Tabata asked again.
The woman laughed and a faint pink fog started to surround her.
«Who knows, a vampire maybe, or maybe the soft embrace of the eventide, the smile of a lover, or maybe a young insecure girl. Just remember this name: Roshane Bellflower».
And with a soft whisper, the clairvoyant disappeared.
The corgos of time looked at each other, they had been heccing bamboozled too. Only 6 out of 10, would not recommend the experience. Yet they felt there was truth spoken in the words of the seer and decided to stay on the land they called This Land, because they had gotten clever, but not that much.
«Can we do a sniff?» asked Jaq shily, she had become more careful now.
«Yup, but remember be classy, we are much smart now».
«Can we still sniff each other butts?» asked Yellow, who was doing a very big concern.
«Of course, my fren» replied Alexiel «But now, while we wait for times to come, we’ll only do what clever pups do: we do classy butt sniff».
«We do a protec» borked Shade, jumping on her tiny legs.
«We do an attac» continued Tabata, standing next to her.
«But most of all» continued Alexiel «We sniff our butts!»