Archive of Our Own

Niall is not a stalker and he is not weird. He is not. But he can’t help it, he really can’t. What are we talking about here, you wonder? Let me explain.

Niall is in his first year of college, doing his English major. You must think that’s boring, and well, it is, but Niall is a nerd, always has been, and what’s more, he’s a sucker for poetry and poems, which is what actually made him decide into majoring in English, he had always dreamed about writing a book full of poems; and actually, he had one already, all poems written by himself since he was in high school. He was even thinking in doing a major in professional writing too, who knows. He didn’t quite remember how but at some point in his teenage years, he find some kind of… relief, if you could call it like that, in writing, it allowed him to let it all out without actually having to talk about it, so that’s how it started.

Even though being a nerd, Niall couldn’t say his life was bad, he was lucky that he had never been bullied through school, like, he’d been called a few names here and there some times but that was all, most people just ignored him and he was grateful, because he wasn’t particularly good around people.

Needless to say, he’s never been in a situation of intimacy with anyone, never been in a relationship with anyone, girl or boy, even though he thought he leaned towards the latter more, but how would he know? He had never even been kissed before. Yeah, sad, right? But he had never really felt that attracted to someone to actually feel like he needed to do something about it. Until now.

Liam is one of the star players of the football team, and Niall heard that football was actually the way he got a scholarship to get into college. Yes, Liam wasn’t really that bright, he was majoring in exercise science, something Niall didn’t even know existed, but apparently it was related to injuries and illness, diets, sports and the body… whatever that is.

Now, the thing is, Niall liked Liam a lot, and he didn’t even know him. He felt like a girl with a high school crush. And he wasn’t even a girl. Nor did he have a crush in high school. But you know, what people said about having a crush felt like, well, that’s how he felt. Liam was just so fit, and he had these warm brown eyes that crinkled every time he laughed and a really nice smile. He was also very nice to everyone, opposite to what everyone thinks of football players, he wasn’t rude at all, good to know not everyone live up to stereotypes. Liam always made the best reaction faces because, as it was said before, he wasn’t really the brightest person ever, and Niall had seen him sometimes at the library with a look in his face that said ‘HELP I’M LOST’ that made him want to laugh but it was just so cute. He had thought about going around and ask him if he needed any help, as he knew his way around the library well, but he was too shy to do it.

And no, he was not stalking him, Niall did not, by any means, know the boy’s schedule for classes, or go out to the field to read a book on purpose when they were practicing football. He didn’t even look at him from afar in hallways. Nope, not at all. So don’t judge Niall, okay? He wished he had enough confidence to talk to Liam and at least make himself notice in his eyes, but who was he kidding? There was no way in hell he’ll ever get to do it, not in a million years. Sometimes he daydreamed about doing it, about being confident and having friends and actually being someone and being cool, being someone he was not but that he wished he was. He always ended up sighing and shaking his head to himself in disappointment though.

It wasn’t until one night, he was in his dorm (thank God he didn’t have to share with anyone because that would be weird and uncomfortable for him) that he had an idea. An idea that would let him express himself and let Liam know that there was someone out there that thought he was amazing but without exposing himself. And he’d get to do it in a way he knew he was good at.

Good, let the show begin.

*

Despite being one of the “popular” guys in college (and he was just in his first year), he was thankful for not having to share his dorm with anyone, he liked having time to himself, and since he was always having classes or practicing for the team to maintain his scholarship, that only left bed time. Don’t get him wrong, he had amazing friends and he was having the time of his life just as everyone said you should while in college, but sometimes he just wished he could tell everyone to fuck off and leave him be. Whatever.

It was Monday and just like every other morning, he had woken up and took a shower before going to class. He never really spent too much time of picking clothes for the day even though he always liked to look good and stylish, but the reality was that most of his clothes worked together in any way he put them so he just put a pair of bright jeans and brown boots and blue shirt that looked like denim over a white tanktop.

He threw the bag strap over his shoulder and was heading out of his room when he noticed a folded paper lying on the floor by the door, as if it was just slid under the door. He crouched and took it and opened it, a round but still messy handwriting on it.

“you’re the candy, you’re ever so sweet

you’re my addiction, hard to beat”

He frowned, what the fuck was that supposed to mean? He re read it a couple of times and even turned the paper to see the other side of it, but there was nothing, no name or anything. This surely wasn’t for him, right? Someone probably had the wrong room number and slid the paper under the wrong door.

He realized he was going to be late if he didn’t hurry, so he quickly put the paper in his pocket and left his dorm.

Boy, he had no idea what he was in for.

*

Niall saw Liam during his free period walking down the hallway while chatting with his friend- what was his name? Harry. Or at least he thought the guy’s name was Harry. They were, as always, laughing and talking animatedly. Harry wasn’t on the football team, not that he remembered seeing him on the field during the practices at least, but he was popular and was known for always being the centre of big parties, even when he wasn’t the one throwing it.

The question came into his mind, had Liam read the note? What did he thought? Had he laughed at it and throw it away? Or maybe he liked it and kept it? He wished it was the latter.

The previous night, Niall had decided to let Liam know he thought he was special without revealing his identity, by sending him fragments of things he had written before. Hopefully it wouldn’t freak him out.

The next morning, he still haven’t decided on what to send but he didn’t want anything to risky to send him in his first note so he went back to the first poems he had ever written and looked for something short but kind of failed because no matter how hard he tried to write short stuff, it always came out long, so he just picked a few lines and scribbled them down on a simple piece of white paper before folding it. Then, he had made his way through the corridor of the dorms, making sure no one was around, even though he knew he was going to be the only one because it was really early still, and when he got to Liam’s door, he stopped, took a deep breath and give it a final thought, was he actually going to do this? The answer was yes. What was the worst that could happen if Liam didn’t know it was him? So without spending another second, he slid the paper under the door and turned around, quickly making his way back to his room.

Now he was in for looking for a second quote, the plan was leaving one in the mornings before he left for class, and then one during the afternoon or night, depending on Liam’s schedule. He wasn’t even going to pretend that he didn’t knew it already, so he just ignore the thought of himself being a creep and just went on with the plan.

*

Liam was exhausted when he made it into his room that late afternoon, he had had classes all morning and then he had practice and then he had to stay over with the team to have a talk with the coach and he had an essay to start working on and he hated Mondays, they were the worst.

Once inside his room, he threw his bag next to the door as always and noticed a new folder paper lying on the ground, only this one wasn’t white, it was pale yellow. Did that make any difference? He unfolded the paper and read,

“if ever love hasn’t conquered all,

then surely that’s what my love is for you

if two souls cross each other,

then surely my soul has missed yours”

He found himself frowning again, what the hell? This one was cryptic. He remembered the paper he got on the morning still in his pocket and took it out, re reading both again. This had to be a mistake, the notes made no sense to him so they were surely not meant to be for him. He felt sorry for whoever was taking the time to write the notes because it wasn’t the right person receiving them. And he was sure that whoever was meant to be the one getting this notes would be very happy, because even if he wouldn’t admit it, not even to himself, they were cute and he wished he could write something like that to send it to someone special, because he was a boy, you know, and it would be weird if it was a boy sending this to another boy… or maybe not, he wasn’t judging but it’d feel kind of weird if a guy was sending those to him.

Anyways, he looked around for a piece of paper on his room and just scribbled “LIAM” on it and then looked for tape, which took him a good five minutes to find, and then opened the door and taped the paper with his name on the door. Sure, it looked stupid, but it’ll help poet guy to realize that he had the wrong room.

After closing the door, papers still in hand, he wondered what to do with them, should he just throw them away or…? He decided that he wouldn’t, so he opened the bottom drawer of his nightstand and put them in there.

*

The next morning, Niall was ready to go and drop his next poem under Liam’s door when he remembered he needed to go get some books in the library for his first class in the morning, so he quickly threw everything he needed for the day into his bag, throw it over his shoulder and left his room.

Liam’s room was on the second floor, and his on the third, so it was actually on his way out of the dorms, so it wasn’t that he had to stray out of his path (yes, keep saying that to yourself Niall), but this morning, there was a sign on Liam’s door.

“LIAM” it read. Yeah, well, he knew that very well, but what was the purpose of it? He shrugged before letting the light blue paper under Liam’s door and starting making his way to the stairs to go to the library when he stopped in his tracks and smiled to himself. He took a pen out of his bag and walked back to Liam’s door and drew two hearts next to his name on the sign. He put away the pen again, and resumed his way with a satisfied smile on his face.

*

When Liam woke up the next day, first thing he did was to check out his door. No note near it, good, that meant his sign in the door worked. He smiled to himself and went into the bathroom to take a shower.

It took him five minute, he swears, five minutes to shower in the morning, and when he was out of the bath, there it was, a pale blue paper, folded neatly, laying on the floor. Did this person not see the sign on the door? Maybe the sign fell off or was ripped? He lifted the small piece of paper from the floor and without even looking at it he opened his door and-

“Hi to you too, Liam, I’m sure lots of people would appreciate the view but why don’t you put some actual clothes on?” Harry said to him and he realized that he was actually just wearing a pair of boxers.

“What are you doing here?” Liam asked confused and forgetting his task.

“I was about to knock on your door to ask why is there a sign with your name and two hearts on it?”

Liam turned his head abruptly to see that the sign he had put there the previous night was, indeed, still there, but now there were two hearts that seemed to be drew with a blue pen next to it. He groaned and ripped the sign off and entered his room followed by his friend. So the notes were actually for him. Right, the note. He opened the paper and he wasn’t even allowed to read the first line before it was snatched from his hands.

“Harry, give that back!” he tried to take it away from his friend’s hand but Harry had put a hand on his chest and turned away and started reading out loud.

“you are constantly present in my every thought

your eyes were a trap for me, honey I am caught”

Harry frowned, “Liam, what the hell is this?”

“I don’t know!” he exclaimed, almost yelling. “Can you please give it back?”

Harry did give the paper back to his friend, still with a frown on his face, “why was there a sign with your name and hearts on your door?”

Liam sighed, he might as well explain to his friend now. “I just put it there because I thought whoever send the notes had the wrong room so I thought that if there was sign they’ll know who was in here, but I didn’t draw the hearts!”

“Wait, does that mean there are more notes?”

“Uh, just other two.” Liam scratched the back of his neck. “I thought they weren’t addressed to me so I put that sign but now I don’t know anymore…”

“Oh my God,” Harry said, eyes wide, “Liam, you have a secret admirer!” he yelled at him.

“What?! No!” Liam yelled back and looked at his friend as if he had grown a second head.

“Maaaaan, wait until I tell Louis about this, it’s goin-“

“No.” Liam said sternly. “Harry, please, you can’t tell Louis, he’s never going to let me live it down.” He almost pleaded.

“But, Liam, we need to know who this is! Oh my God, what if it is some hot girl that’s also really clever and can write this things and-“

“Harry, that’s horrible. I don’t want girls sending me these. That’s… weird.”

“You’d rather a guy would?”

“No! That’s even worst!”

“Well, I ran out of options here, mate.”

“I’m not going to do anything about it, they’d probably go away if I just ignore them.”

“Uh- that’s kind of really stupid, I mean, you’re doing nothing about it because you don’t know who is sending these to you and they are still coming, so it’s like you’re ignoring them anyway, so…”

“Shut up.”

“Alright, why don’t you put some clothes on now, please?”

“Oh! Fuck- yeah, give me a minute.”

“Can I read the other two notes while you change?” Harry yelled through the bathroom door where Liam had just gone.

“No!” came another yell and Harry laughed.

*

It was late that afternoon, and Niall was in the library, this time looking for a book to read himself. He couldn’t decid if he wanted a poetry book or a fiction book though, when someone appeared next to him.

“Hey.” A soft voice said.

“Hey, Zayn, haven’t seen you in a while.” Niall smiled but didn’t turn to look at him.

Zayn was Niall’s only ‘friend’ in college, if you could call it like, the truth is, Zayn is actually a lot like him, a nerd, bookworm and didn’t have too many friends either.

“Where have you been?” the blonde asked.

“I, uh… I’ve been writing quite a bit.” Zayn shrugged.

This made Niall turn to him with a big smile, “Really?”

The other boy nodded his head, “yeah… one of my professors said I could try and get something I write to get published, so I guess I should give it a try.”

“What are you writing?”

“A novel.”

“Oooh, I read something you lent me in the past, remember?” Niall asked and Zayn shrugged, “they were amazing, I’m sure you’ll get a lot of people wanting to publish what you write.”

Zayn smiled a bit and looked down, almost as if he was embarrassed, “thanks.” He mumbled. “And what have you been up to? You still write poetry?”

“Uhm… yeah, some poems, some poetry… yeah.” Niall shrugged, “I’m not that good, though.”

“Yes, you are!” Zayn slapped his shoulder softly. “You were really good when I met you at the beginning of the year, my guess is that you can only get better, you know?”

“Not really, but thanks, I guess.”

“Someday you’re going to make someone feel really special with those.” Zayn said, pointing at the notebook Niall was holding behind one of his arms, it was the one he always carried with him to write down whatever popped into his mind when he was out, like some kind of diary of poems? Something like that.

“I’d like to think that.” Niall mumbled, going back to searching for a book.

“What are you looking for? Maybe I can help.”

*

Zayn’s favorite place for writing has always been the small park next to the football field, he had always gone there and write down ideas for whatever he was writing so he can put them into words once he was back at his dorm.

Today was no different, except for who was around and the conversation he heard.

“I’m telling you, mate, we need to figure who’s sending you those things.”

“I’m not sure I want to know, what if it’s a freak?!”

“I just think they are shy.”

“Well, and how are you planning on finding out who they are anyways?”

“I don’t know…” and then there were a couple of minutes of silence. “Who writes poems? Like, what do you have to be majoring in to do that?” What?

“How would I know that, Harry? It doesn’t even have to be that they are majoring in something related to do that, I mean, you like writing lyrics and you are not majoring in music, or are you?”

That’s it, that’s why the voice sounded so familiar to him. Harry was his “neighbor”, as the curly lad liked to put it, he had the room next to his. They talked sometimes, when they bumped into each other in the halls of the dorms and that, he wasn’t his favorite person but he was okay, Harry was nice. So he and whoever was the other guy were talking about poems…?

“Well, no… I guess you’re right.”

“Look, I need to go to practice, this is probably nothing, mate, let’s just forget about it.”

“Whatever you say.” Harry’s voice came defeated.

He heard them shifting, as if they were going to leave and-

“Zayn!” Harry’s voice surprised him.

“Uh- hi.” He greeted back, trying to look as if he was concentrated in what he was doing and just not listened to their conversation.

“That’s it, Liam, Zayn can help us!” the curly lad turned to his friend.

“Harry, what are-“ Liam started.

“You’re majoring in English, right?” Harry asked him and he nodded. “Do you know anyone that writes poetry? Or poems? A girl, preferably.”

With a furrowed brow, Zayn though, girls that wrote poems… he went through all the people he met during these two years of college, he might not talk too much to people but he did know most of them who were doing an English major, or at least knew what were they good at. But no girls who wrote poems though.

“No… I don’t recall any girl who writes poems, sorry.” Zayn shook his head.

“Uh… boys then?” Harry asked a bit hesitant.

Zayn took another minute before nodding his head, “yeah, there are some boys. Why though?”

“Liam’s got a secret admirer.” The curly lad shrugged.

“Harry!” Liam nudged his friend on the ribs and looked at him with wide eyes and embarrassed and Zayn laughed. “Maybe he doesn’t even study English, Harry, I told y-“

“I’d know them anyways.” Zayn shrugged. Because it was true, he was interested in whoever had any kind of art ability, especially if they could write.

“Okay?” Liam said because really, what was he supposed to say? “We’re leaving now, sorry and uh- thank you, I guess? uh, Zayn.”

“No worries, good luck finding them.”

“Thanks.” Liam mumbled before grabbing Harry’s arm and turning to walk away.

Well, Zayn found this pretty amusing and beyond interesting, who could be sending the captain of the football team poems? He was set to find that out now.

*

Harry was back to Liam’s room after their day, he claimed that he wanted to know if there was a new note waiting for him because now that he was into this thing, he wanted to know how the story kept going. Of course Liam had tried to avoid it and told him he didn’t want him around if there was a new note because he can be an obnoxious little shit at times but there was no deal and he had to stick to Harry. Oh well. But they had to get rid of Louis first, because there was no way Liam would let him know about this, Louis would make his life a leaving hell.

“Yes!” Harry exclaimed as soon as they entered the room and Liam flicked the lights on. “You’ve got mail” the curly boy said in a sing song voice.

“Did you just enter the room looking at the floor? Mate, you’re more excited about this than I am.”

“See!” Harry pointed at him with a big smile on his face, “There it is, you said it!”

“What?” Liam looked confused.

“You’re excited about this!”

“Shut up, Harry.” Liam mumbled and crouched down to take the paper but Harry was faster. His friend opened the piece of paper, light pink this time, and was about to start reading when Liam ripped the piece of paper from his hands, “I’d like to read my notes myself, thank you.”

“crumbled papers of poems about you,

written with words that will never come true”

“Aw!” Harry exclaimed, who had read the simple two lines written from over Liam’s shoulder.

“It’s not funny, mate, what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?”

“Nothing,” Harry shrugged, “just let them spoil you.”

“I don’t want that, that’s creepy!”

“I think it’s cute.”

“Because they are not directed to you!” Liam almost yelled at him in an exasperated voice and walk to his bed to let his body fell on it and letting out a deep sigh.

“I don’t think the poems are what’s bothering you.” Harry commented then.

“If it’s not that, then what is it?”

“I think you feel awkward about a boy sending this to you.”

“We are not even sure if it’s a guy.”

“What are you going to do if you find out it is a guy, then?” Harry asked and waited for Liam to reply. He didn’t. “See?” the curly lad said and smiled, then walked to Liam’s bed and sat on the edge of it, “I think the least you can do is give them a chance, no matter if they are a boy or a girl.”

“But I don’t like boys, Harry.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Do you? Do you like boys?”

“I don’t know about you but I know about me, but that’s none of your business, mate.” Harry laughed, “I’m just saying that if they’re spending so much time on this and they are so dedicated to you then why not give them a chance? I mean, if they are not a freak.”

“I don’t know…” Liam said, averting his eyes away from Harry.

“Just give it a thought.” Harry put his hand on Liam’s shoulder. “I’m going, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” He replied and then Harry was gone.

*

Now it’s the second week since he’s been getting these notes and Liam’s kind of freaked out. It was weird at the beginning and then it was a laugh and all but it was really awkward to get up to a poem and then come back to another one, and he even got ones during the weekend! But that wasn’t the whole problem, the thing was that this person, whoever they were, knows his schedule and everything he does on a daily basis and that was freaking scary.

He felt like he was being watched all the time and that made him uncomfortable and he just wanted this to stop and it’s been going on for only a week and a half, who knows how long is this person planning on sending these things, if they ever stop doing it.

The second drawer of his bedside table was slowly being filled with pastel color papers with words on it and he didn’t know if he felt flattered or terrified. Probably a bit of the first but mostly the latter.

Liam started to pay more attention every time he was out walking down the halls of college or in the field or in the cafeteria buying food, just to see if he could spot someone watching him or that was around him at all the places he was when he was in there. But he couldn’t really find anyone and okay, it was kind of impossible to remember all the faces he saw but he was sure he’ll notice if a face started to appear everywhere… right?

He was frustrated, because he felt like this was getting out of hand (even though nothing changed since the first note so it wasn’t out of hand but oh well) and his friends were starting to notice.

“Hey,” Harry approached him one day after his football practice when he was out of the lockers room and ready to go back to his dorm.

“Hey,” Liam smiled weakly at him, consumed by his thought that he was about to go back to find yet another piece of paper.

“You’ve been kind of down lately, mate, you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m…” he started and then had an internal fight about actually telling about his friend how he was feeling because he felt stupid, it was so dumb to feel down about something as what it was happening but he wasn’t comfortable with the situation, okay?

“You know that I’m not Louis and you can talk to me, righ-“ Harry started.

“Hey! What do you mean you’re not me and that he can talk to you?” Louis appeared right next to them out of the blue. “First of all, you wish you were me,” the blue eyed boy said in a sassy voice, “and second, Liam can talk to me whenever he wants, I’m not that bad.”

Both, Liam and Harry raised her eyebrows at Louis at that last comment.

“You think that? Come on, try me then.”

Liam looked at Harry with a with a dubious face, he wasn’t sure about telling Louis about this.

Oh, what the hell.

“I, uhm… I’ve been getting these notes for about two weeks…”

Louis frowned, “notes? What kind of notes?”

“Uh… notes, like… pieces of papers with poems and stuff…” he trailed off.

None of them said anything for a minute until Louis face of confusion turned into a laugh, a really obnoxious laugh.

Liam knew, he knew he shouldn’t have told him about it. He looked down embarrassed and Harry couldn’t help but shook his head in disbelief, Louis could be awful at times.

When Louis noticed that none Harry or Liam were actually laughing, and that one of his friends was shaking his head at him while the other looked down, he immediately stopped laughing.

“Wait- you’re being serious.”

“Of course he’s being serious, you asshole!” Harry almost yelled at him.

“Alright, no need to get mad at me, geez, I just thought- you know what? It doesn’t matter.” He said, “so who’s sending you those notes?”

Liam shrugged with his left shoulder, still looking down, “don’t know.”

“Louis, are you stupid, how would he know? He would have said that if he knew.”

“Harry, shut up.” Louis glared at him. “So, that’s what’s making you feel like this? But it’s great, mate, I mean, someone’s interested in you!”

“Couldn’t they just approach me as a normal person then?”

Louis shrugged, “maybe they are shy, who knows. I think it’s kind of romantic.”

Liam didn’t say anything.

“So how often do these notes come?”

“Twice a day, when I wake up in the morning and when I come back to my room.”

“Wow. Wait, you mean, now there should be one waiting for you? Haven’t you tried to wake up earlier and look down the hall to catch them?”

“Yeah, I guess. And yeah, I tried, never did though.” Liam shrugged.

“Well, let’s head to your room and see if there’s one.”

They walked the short distance from the locker room to the dorms building and made their way upstairs to the second floor, where Liam opened the door to find a new piece of paper. He sighed. He lifted the note and opened it, both of his friends standing but none of them moved or said anything to him.

“give me a little sign of love and I will lay it all on the line,

if you only feel a fraction of what I do, that’ll be fine”

Liam didn’t read it out loud though and suddenly the small piece of paper was ripped from his hand.

“Liaaaaam, this is so cute!” Louis exclaimed, “can I read the rest, please?”

Liam sighed, “I should have never let any of you know about this, you’re the worst.”

“Hey!” Louis faked an offended grimace, “at least we’re not making fun of you or whatever, be grateful, asshole!”

Harry shook his head at both of his friends, unbelievable. “I’m gonna get going alright, I’ll see you both tomorrow.” He said and walked out of the door before any of the other two boys said anything, both of them too preoccupied with all the small pieces of paper that Liam had handed Louis.

Harry shook his head at his friends while closing the door of Liam’s room behind him and started to walk down the corridor. His room was also in the second floor but on the other wing of the building, so he’ll have to go all the way around the floor.

He was taking his key out of his bag just when Zayn was going out of his dorm.

“Oh, hey Zayn.” Harry offered him a polite smile.

“Hey, Harry.” Zayn smiled back.

“Where’re you going this late?” the curly lad asked then, already placing the key in the keyhole.

“For a walk and a smoke.” Zayn shrugged and showed his pack of cigs and his lighter to Harry.

“Oh.”

“How’s the searching of your friend’s secret poet?” Zayn spoke again and let out a chuckle.

“Uh… no progress, to be honest.” Harry answered and leaned into the door frame with a sigh.

“Sorry about that. I’ve been thinking about it, maybe I would come up with someone but no such luck.” He shook his head. “Maybe you should ask Niall, maybe he’ll be able to help you, he’s into all this poetry stuff, like, you go into his room and he has all this books and-“ Zayn started to ramble but Harry cut him off.

“Who’s Niall?” he asked a bit confused, he was pretty sure he knew a lot of people from there but never heard about someone named Niall.

“He’s an English major but he likes poetry a lot, maybe he knows someone I don’t.” the black haired boy shrugged.

“And where can we find him?”

“Uh- he’s room is on the third floor, but on the other side of the building. He’s a bit shy so don’t just- uh, just don’t overwhelm him too much, yeah?”

“Alright, will do.” Harry nodded. “I’ll tell Liam and we’ll see him tomorrow or something. Thanks Zayn!” he smiled bright and went into his room.

*

“So how was this morning’s poem?” he asked as he joined Liam and Louis in their walking down the hall.

Liam shrugged and didn’t say anything.

“Ooooh, I completely forgot about that!” Louis exclaimed, his face going from sleepy to completely awaken.

“Did you bring all the papers like I asked you to?”

Liam nodded, “why though?”

“Zayn told me about this guy, Neil- uh, no, wait, that’s not his name,” Harry frowned in concentration, “fuck, how was this guy calle- Niall! That’s it, Niall.”

“So?” Liam asked, still confused.

“So, what?”

“So what about this guy Niall?”

“Oh! Zayn told me he knows a lot about poetry and-“

“We don’t need anyone that knows about poetry, Harry, we need people who write, or people who know people who write!” Louis cut him.

“Well, he’s an English major and he’s into poetry, so maybe he knows some people and can help us with this.”

“And why do we need the papers?”

“To show him? Maybe he had read some of them before, or maybe he can recognize the handwriting? I don’t know, something! Mate, I’m just trying to help you here!”

“Okay, okay! And when and where are we meeting this guy?”

“I know his room number, I thought we could go see him after classes today?”

Liam nodded and shrugged his head.

“Now let me read the new one!” Harry pleaded and Liam shook his head no. “Pleeeease?”

Liam sighed, what was even the point in not letting them read anyways. So he looked on his back, and took out a single piece of baby blue paper.

“I long for your kiss to touch my shy lips,

the weight of your hands, to rest on my hips”

Harry read out loud.

“Shhh!” Liam shushed him with wide eyes. “Don’t need anyone to know about this!”

“This is so cute! I think this is my favorite so far.”

“Your favori- Harry!” Liam’s face went from confused to surprised and maybe a bit annoyed and he punched his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m serious! I mean, yeah, okay, it’s a bit creepy but it’s so cute, whoever this is, is putting so much effort into this, Liam, I’d love to have someone like this.”

And if you asked Liam, well, yes, he was still a bit scared of this because as Harry had said, it was creepy, but seeing that nothing about his life had actually changed, deep inside him, he knew and he wouldn’t admit it to his friends or to himself, he liked this a bit. The attention he was getting. Yeah, the possibility of this person being a total and complete creep and/or stalker was high, but maybe he was willing to take that risk and get to know his “secret admirer”, as he liked to call them up in his head.

*

He was working on an assignment that was due to next week but that needed a lot of planning, when there was a knock on his door. He frowned, no one ever knocked on his door. Unless it was Zayn, but that would be weird too because Zayn was never in his room because why would he? They weren’t so close.

He got up from his chair and walked to the door to open and- this was the last thing he would have expected. What were they doing standing on his door? Where they lost or…?

“Uh… h- hi?” he asked a bit confused and then it clicked.

They found him. Oh my God, they found him, they realized it was him writing Liam those poems and he was so, so screwed and-

“Hi, you’re Niall, right?” Harry asked, standing right in front of him.

Don’t freak out. Play it cool. Maybe they don’t know. Don’t screw this up.

“Uh- yeah, t- that’s me.”

“Do you have like a stutter problem?” that was Louis, making a weird confused face.

“Louis!” both Harry and Liam hissed at him and the blue eyed lad rolled his eyes.

Well, this is exactly how he pictured his first conversation with these guys was going to be. Ha. Not.

“Sorry about that, we just want to ask you something, if that’s okay with you.” Harry was now the one speaking again.

“S- sure.” The blonde gave a weak nod and stepped aside to let the other boys into his room.

Liam took a look around and wow, so many books, this was something different. Well, that and the fact that he hated reading so the chances of ever having a room like that, with so many books was far away. He looked back at this guy- Niall, and noticed his pink cheeks and nervous eyes hiding behind the thick black frames of his glasses. He was cute.

You did not just think that, Liam, nope.

“So…” he started, trying to take of his mind about how this guy looked.

Niall lifted his head and his eyes met Liam’s. He was a lot more handsome up close, he was only used to seeing him on the halls, or in the football field and definitely not standing a meter away from him in his own room.

“So Liam’s got a secret admirer who sends him poems and we want to know if you know who he is.” Louis stated, blunt as always.

“Louis!” Liam exclaimed again and this time he earned a slap on the back of the head from Harry.

Niall let out a short laugh, he’d like to say it was because of the boys reactions but truth is, it was a nervous laugh. At least they weren’t aware of who he was. Yet. How was he even going to deal with this now? Damn Zayn.

“We brought every little piece of paper Liam received so you can read them, maybe you recognize their handwriting or their writing style, if that’s even a thing, or something?” Harry spoke again.

“I uhm- okay.” He mumbled, still a bit doubtful.

Okay, don’t freak out. Think of something to say to get you out of this one.

“Or maybe you just know some people who write and you can tell us their names and then we’ll see what we can do? That’d be useful too.” Harry added.

Niall just nodded and moved his eyes back to Liam who stared back at him. Niall could feel his cheeks going red under his stare which made him look down at his feet. He didn’t like it when people looked at him so intently, it made him feel embarrassed, like there was something in his face or something wrong with him, or like he was being told off. But having looked down so quickly, didn’t give him time to realize that Liam wasn’t looking at him in a judging way, he was just… admiring him? Liam looked like Niall was something new, something different to him.

Louis and Harry looked at each other confused as to why Liam was just standing there looking at this guy with this weird look in his eyes, it was an expression none of them could properly read.

“Uhm, Liam?” Louis decided to break the silence.

Liam shook his head a little, as if he was out of his trance, “uh- yeah?” he asked, trying to avoid a blush to appear on his face after being caught staring.

“The poems, mate.”

“Oh! Oh- yeah.” Liam lowered his bag to the floor and kneeled to take out one of his notebooks in which he had placed every piece of paper with poems. He stood up and handed them to Niall then.

The blonde grabbed the papers Liam was handing him with shaky hands and oh God, this was so weird, how was he supposed to get out of this one now? He took a sit on his bed and read the words written in the colorful papers even though he knew very well what was written on them, but still, he needed to act like he was paying attention to this.

“These are good.” He mumbled, even though he didn’t think anything he wrote was good enough, let alone good enough for someone like Liam.

“Aren’t they? It’s so romantic, I wish someone sent me those.” He smiled dreamy and Niall could only offer him a polite smile back.

“So… anything you can tell us about those?” Louis spoke.

“I, uhm- I can’t really recognize the handwriting, sorry,” yeah, sorry for not recognizing his own handwriting, but even if it wasn’t his and couldn’t recognize it, he doesn’t know any people because he was an antisocial, weird, nerd kid, so.. yeah, same thing. “I can- I can look around a- and try to find out who did, though? If- If you think t- that would be us- useful.”

“That’d be great.” Harry smiled again and why wasn’t Liam talking, he just wanted to hear him talk but instead he was just standing there looking at him like he was really uncomfortable and that made him sad and upset.

“Any ideas of who could be the one doing this?”

“Not- not sure b- but I can think of some p- people who write things l- like this.”

“Girls?”

“Uh- not- not really, there aren’t too m- many girls who write p- poems. Not that I- I can think about at l- least.” Why was he stuttering so much?! Goddamn it, what a good impression he was giving.

“Well, if you find out something or if you can think of someone then please come tell us? I know Liam here haven’t said a damn thing and he’s just standing like an idiot,” Harry turned his head to glare at Liam who just looked embarrassed and angry at him, “but he wants to know, okay? Doesn’t matter who they are.”

“O- okay.” Niall nodded slowly.

“Right then, thank you.” Louis spoke, looking like he wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as possible, and then and made his way to the door, Liam and Harry behind him.

Niall nodded weakly and gave them a shy smile when they got to the door. He was about to close it when he realized he was still holding the papers Liam gave him in his hand. Shit. “U- uhm,” he cleared his throat, “L- Liam?” he managed to blurt out even if it sounded really soft.

“Yes?” Liam turned around then.

“Uhm- t- this is yours.” He said, stretching his arm to hand Liam the poems back.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry about that. Thank you.” Liam gave him a small, shy smile, earning one in return from the blonde before going back to his friends, Niall closing the door of his room.

The three boys made their way downstairs to the second floor until they reached Liam’s room, all of them going inside, Liam throwing himself on the bed, Louis sitting in the chair of his desk and Harry just standing.

“Well, that was a waste of time.” Louis sighed.

“What was all that staring though, mate?” Harry asked Liam, deciding to ignore Louis’ comment.

Liam said nothing, his face was against his pillow as he was laying on his stomach.

“Liam, I’m talking to you, mate.” Harry said again. Nothing. “Liaaaaam!” he exclaimed and moved to shake him, “Earth to Liam! You there?”

“W- what?” Liam lifted his face from the pillow.

“I asked, what was all that staring.”

“W- what staring?” Liam furrowed his brow and Harry rolled his eyes at him.

“I’m gonna go back to my room, you know what I’m talking about.” Harry replied, “you coming, Lou?” Louis nodded and they both made their way out of Liam’s room.

What the fuck had just happened.

*

Another week had passed and the poems were still coming, every morning and every night. Well, this morning was not an exception.

“we can be something beautiful and great,

I just hope you figure it out before it’s too late”

Liam sighed after reading the note, folding the paper again and putting it the bottom drawer of his nightstand with the rest of them. The drawer was slowly filling with the colorful papers. He just wanted to know who this person is, get them to talk to him and maybe, just maybe, kiss them a little. You know, with all those notes and the nice words he might be falling for this unknown person a bit. He was only human, and even though it was uncomfortable and weird at the beginning, he got used to those little words of comfort, and he won’t admit it, but some days, it even put a smile on his face, so of course he would like the attention, and whoever this was, they were giving him their everything.

Classes that day were going extremely slow for his own liking and he found himself chewing on the end of his pen or moving his feet the whole morning, waiting for time to pass faster so he could go practice and kick the ball around a bit before he went nuts. He didn’t know why, he just felt so full of energy he felt like he was going to combust any time soon.

When the class was finally over, he threw everything inside his bag and almost run out the door of the classroom. As it was Friday, the hallways were full of people, making their way out of the school building, desperate to get their much needed weekend.

He was walking so fast he could easily be running, so not paying attention enough, he still managed to see a book falling to the floor from someone’s arms. Niall’s arms. How he managed to realize it was the blonde boy, he didn’t know. He picked what he realized now, was a notebook, and made his way through the people.

“Niall!” he yelled at him.

The blonde boy turned around, confusion on his face and furrowed eyebrows, because who was calling him? He doubted anyone there knew his name.

His eyes went wide when he saw Liam walking towards him with a small smile and- was that his notebook?!

“Here, you dropped this.” Liam smiled and handed Niall the book, who grabbed it with shaky hands. A light blush appearing on his cheeks.

“T- thank you.” he managed to mumble out as a response.

“No worries. See you around.” Liam smiled, returning to his way towards the football field, leaving a very startled Niall standing in the corridor.

*

Liam’s afternoon in the field was a bit weird. His mind was torn between football and try to put all his attention into the game and the strategies the team has been practicing lately, and Niall. He didn’t know why, he couldn’t find a proper explanation as to why he had found himself drifting to the blonde boy with those beautiful baby blue eyes so often. Ever since that day a week ago, in which him and his friends have been to Niall’s room, he just couldn’t stop it and he didn’t know why. He didn’t even like boys, so that couldn’t be the reason, of course. But still, he found himself daydreaming about him, not knowing what he was thinking about, and that made him upset. What was it about this boy, god damn it.

*

Harry had his suspicions about Niall. He’d had them since they had visited him in his room. Okay, Zayn had told him that the guy was a bit shy and could get overwhelmed easily but the way the boy was blushing and stuttering was over the top. Surely the boy knew something. Maybe even more than he thought, but anyway, he didn’t want to jump into conclusions and get his hopes up. So what was he going to do about this? Keep an eye on the blonde. Not stalking, just… see if he’s around the places Liam is. He was already around Liam most of the day, so that shouldn’t be too difficult, right?

What a coincidence, that just as he had made his resolution, he bumped into Niall on the stairs. Well, actually, on the corridor, the blonde was heading to the stairs and he was heading to Liam’s room.

“Hi, Niall.” He smiled at him even though Niall wasn’t really looking, he was too preoccupied looking at some book he held in his hands.

“Uh, h- hi.” The blonde stuttered back when he saw Harry.

“What are you doing here?” a still smiley Harry asked, and okay, you are not that straight forward with people you’ve talked to once in your life for like… three minutes, but it’ll have to do because he didn’t have any connection to the boy and trying to befriend him so suddenly would be weird, small talk will have to do for now.

“Uhm, my- my room is on the t- third floor.” The blonde replied, a bit of confusion showing in his face.

“Oh, you’re right! How dumb of me,” he laughed, “guess I’ll see you around!” he said cheerfully and resumed his walk to his friend’s room, walking past Niall.

He knocked on the door of Liam’s room and waited a couple of seconds until his friend opened the door.

“So, how’s the poem thing doing?”

“Same as two hours ago when I saw you.” Liam laughed briefly. “Nothing new.”

“Did you already get a new one?”

“Yeah, came here half an hour ago and it was already here.”

Damn. He just bumped into Niall and the poem was there some time ago, so he couldn’t point his finger to Niall yet. Key word, yet.

“Was it good?”

“All of them are good.” Liam sighed and sat on his bed.

Harry let out a laugh, “I love how you went to completely hating this and feeling uneasy about it to admitting this person is good and loving these things in what? Three weeks?”

Liam just shrugged, “I guess I just… feel overwhelmed by the attention, but it’s nice, I mean, I feel spoiled?” he explained even though it sounded more like a question.

“Look at that, Liam Payne likes to be spoiled, who would have thought that!” Harry laughed and sat next to his friend on the bed, who nudged him with his elbow but still laughed a little.

“Not funny, I really wish I know who they are.”

“I’m working on it, patience, young one.”

“You’re younger than me.” Liam raised an eyebrow at him.

“Whatever. I have someone in mind bu-“

“Who?!” Liam asked excited and Harry glared at him.

“I’m not telling you until I’m sure.”

“Why not? This is about me, I should be informed!”

“Nope.” The green eyed boy shook his head no.

“Why not?” Liam frowned at him.

“Because I’m not sure how you’re going to react and I just want to be sure first before I screw up.”

“Do you think I’ll like them?” he asked and Harry shrugged, “Come on! You know me, you can answer that.”

“I feel like it’s going to be strange for you but you’re going to like it anyways.”

“Strange? Why? In what sense?” Liam was frowning again, confused by Harry’s words.

“It’s not fun if I tell you!” Harry said and stood up, “can I read today’s poem?”

Liam was about try blackmailing, he’ll give Harry the newest poem he received if he told him who he had in mind, but gave up on that idea in a matter of seconds when he realized it was going to be pointless, Harry would rather not read the poem than tell him. And so far, he’s read all of them so what was the point in not handing him the new one to read?

“there’s something in that smile of yours

that makes me stop and stare”

“This doesn’t even sound like a poem.” Harry frowned.

“I know, I thought it was weird too.”

“Sounds like a confession to me.” Harry commented and Liam shrugged.

“Well, it’s nice either way.”

“Aw, look at you getting all lovey dovey about someone you don’t know.” Harry battled his eyelashes at him.

“Lovey do- what the hell, mate.” Liam frowned in disgust at the expression and shook his head.

Harry just laughed and rolled his eyes, “you know what I mean. I promise I’ll tell you as soon as I’m sure about this.”

“Fine.” Liam huffed.

*

Harry’s investigation week started the next Monday, he made sure to be next to Liam or at least around him most of the time. He’d be at his dorm room every morning and walk to class with him, and then made his way from his classes to Liam’s just to be with him all the time. It might seem weird, like he was being clingy and wanted to spend all his time with his friend, but the truth was, he wasn’t even listening to what Liam was saying half of the time, he was too busy looking around and trying to memorize people’s faces wherever they went so that way he’d be able to know if some face was starting make an appearance in every place Liam’s been to. The thing is, it wasn’t really that easy, there were just so many people in college and most of the people in the football team shared one or more classes with Liam, or free periods and even lunch time. So there were a lot of the same people that were in the same place they were at the same time. But he just had this feeling that it wasn’t any of the guys in the football team because, well… that’d be weird. Also, most of them chatted with Liam all the time about matches or games or just some random talking but none of them seemed… infatuated? Was that the word he was looking for? Whatever, none of them seemed really into Liam to be the ones sending him those messages.

Of course it could be someone from his classes, and Harry couldn’t be in there with Liam at that time, and he wasn’t going to go as far as to check every person in Liam’s classes in a list or something, he wanted to know but he wasn’t as desperate.

The rest of the week passed uneventful and he didn’t really make any progress with his investigation, because he couldn’t really see Niall in every place they’ve been, and that kind of threw his idea out of the window. Why he had that stubborn idea on his head? He didn’t know, it was just a feeling, that it was Niall, he knew it was, he just needed to catch him somewhere.

More papers with words on it kept coming to Liam’s bedroom every day, twice, as always. And they kept being stack in his second drawer.

“if only for a moment, I will give to you my soul,

the time I spend with you is what makes me whole”

“the mere sight of you sends shiver down my spine,

I never wanted anything as bad as I want you to be mine”

“I look at your face and nothing really matters to me,

there’s a fire in my chest, I don’t know what to say”

And those were just some of them that he’d received lately, but he had his favorites though, not that he’ll let Harry or Louis know about it but that was the truth. The two of them had been sent to him on the same day, one in the morning, one at night.

“you shine like you're glowing,

so beautiful it drives me mad”

He couldn’t even begin to explain how hard he had blushed when he read that, and to be honest, it kind of made him feel like a girl. He even had to go to the bathroom and splash some water on his face to make the blush go away before leaving for classes. Geez. He liked that one though, okay, maybe he’d rather be called “handsome” or “fit” or “hot” instead of beautiful but he could do with that, it wouldn’t be too poetic to say “so fit it drives me mad” in a poem. Also… beautiful gave this whole thing a whole new different connotation. And there he was blushing again.

And then at night came his other favorite, this one didn’t make him blush though, but it did make him smile.

“if you were magic,

 I’d buy a locket and make you my lucky charm”

It was really simple, and it didn’t even rhyme but just the thought of it made him smile.

That night, when he went to bed, smile still on his face, with his head full of thoughts about who could this person be. He just couldn’t take this for much longer, he wanted to know who they were and thank them for being so nice to him, spend so much time on him and get to know them and maybe try to make them at least half as happy and smiley as these little notes had made him.

That night, he dreamt about Niall being his secret admirer.

Oh, if only he knew.

*

“So, how’s the investigation going?” Liam asked as he walked down the school’s hallway next to Harry and Louis.

“What investigation?” Louis asked, confused.

“I’m trying to catch whoever is sending Liam the poems. It can’t be that hard.”

Liam chuckled, “apparently it is because I can’t see you making any progress.”

“Shut up, I have my suspicion.” Harry huffed out.

“Who?” Louis asked.

“I’m not telling you.”

“Why not?!”

“Because you can’t keep a secret for shit and I don’t want you telling Liam.”

Louis put his right hand over his chest, where his heart is placed, and faked a hurt face, “that is not nice of you, Harry, I’m hurt!”

The youngest of the three boys just rolled his eyes, “it’s true though, and you know it.”

“Fine.” Louis huffed out and crossed his arms over his chest. “I was going to offer you my help but guess you’ll just have to do it alone, then.” He mumbled out, making Harry and Liam laugh.

*

“roses are red

violets are blue

I’m in love

guess with who”

Liam lifted his eyebrow at this one, because really, roses are red poems? Okay, he could let this one pass. The only difference between this one and the rest, is that this actually said the words, maybe it was just that, words, but it made him feel this funny feeling in his stomach, the words “I’m in love”, was this person actually in love with him? Does that mean that they had actually talked before? More than once? That they had actually met? Maybe it was someone he knew well? Fuck, this was getting too much for him to handle. He just wanted to get to the end of this.

*

Harry had only noticed Niall in the same place that Liam at the same time, on the cafeteria during lunch time, and that was frustrating. He was this close to go ask for the blonde’s classes schedule so he could try and get him. That if it was actually him the ones sending the notes. Which he was almost one hundred percent sure it was.

He noticed something more though, not about Niall, but about Liam. Whenever his brown eyed friend would see Niall, he would either look away from him quickly or stare at him or throw glances over where the blonde was every couple of minutes. Huh, weird. But then again, the way he was looking at him that day they went into Niall’s room… that gave him away. And then it clicked. Now more than ever he needed Niall to be the one sending Liam those poems because even if Liam haven’t mentioned to him, he knew that deep inside him, he wanted Niall. Good, everything was going better than he could imagine. He’ll need to talk about that with Liam though, they were supposed to be friends!

His problem was solved though, when on a practice day, he actually decided to go the football field to see his friends practice, and maybe hoping (just a little) that the blonde boy he so desperately wanted to catch, would be there.

He couldn’t believe his eyes when he realized that Niall was actually there. Ha, busted.

Niall was sitting in the stands on the side of the pitch, earphones on, a notebook and a pen in his hand. He could see him scribbling something down, and he could also see words and things written all over the page. He needed to get closer and take a look at him. Good thing the blonde had headphones on, but still, he was going to be careful, knowing he was clumsy as hell, he might fall right in front of him and screw up his own plan.

He was silently walking, as silently as he could at least, towards the blonde, a few benches higher so he couldn’t see him, even though the blonde looked really into what he was doing, when he realized that the sun was actually shining really bright for London, and that his shadow was going to interfere with his plan. Shit, this was the only time he had hoped it was cloudy. Whatever. He looked at Niall and tried to think of a place to seat so the blonde won’t see him, and realized that where the boy was sitting, his shadows was behind him, so if he sat right behind Niall… yes, great. He smiled to himself.

Slowly he began walking on the bench again, until he reached the space behind Niall, who was oblivious to everything that was happening around him, thank God, and sat behind him, cautious not to make too much noise while sitting his bag next to him.

Alright, now he needed to know what those pages said, maybe he could lean a bit forward… yes! He could read some words already, so he quickly tried to memorize them to text them to Liam. Then he realized that if Niall had just written down those words, then he probably hadn’t send that to Liam… yet. He suppressed a huff and- Niall just turned to the previous page, now’s the time, Harry.

To be honest, apart from having to be careful, this was fun, he felt like an agent on a mission trying to get to the bottom of a mystery.

There we go, he could see a couple of words, just a bit more forwards and- shit! He almost fell on top of Niall. Careful, Harry, careful, you don’t want to ruin this when you’re so close.

Ha! There it was, a full sentence. He repeated the words in his head a couple of times until he was sure he knew them, and wrote them down in a draft on his phone. He leaned a bit forwards again, over Niall’s right shoulder and saw another sentence, well, just a part of it but it’ll have to do. So again, he repeated it mentally and wrote it back down on his phone. Now it was time to text Liam.

*

Liam was about to go out of the locker rooms to practice when his phone made a beep sound inside his bag, signaling he had a new text, and he quickly took it out to check it.

From: Harry

‘did you get a poem about magic and lucky charm or something about it?’

What the hell, how did he know that. Liam had showed Louis and Harry all the poems. All the poems except those two that were his favorite. But how could he know?

To: Harry

‘uh… yeah whyy?’

That was all his response.

“Payne!” a voice came from the door, “Come on!”

Shit, he needed to know what this was about, so he hesitated for a moment, but decided to carry his phone with him, which could actually be a horrible idea, if the ball hit it or something it could break or crack its screen and he couldn’t really buy a new one because college life was demanding and he couldn’t go around wasting money. However, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his head, put his phone on the pocket of his shorts and went out to start running.

His phone vibrated a few minutes after and he took it out to check Harry’s response while still running.

From: Harry

‘and one of those roses are red violets are blue too?’

This one read, he frowned and stared at his phone screen and was about to type a reply when he felt his body hit someone and suddenly he felt to the floor and so did the other person.

“Payne!” the coach’s voice came again. “What the hell?!”

“I’m sorry, I was just-“

“You were using your phone, I saw you, now give it to me before more accidents happen, I don’t need any of you to get injured before the tournament starts.”

“But- this is important, please, coach, I-“ starting to stand up.

“If it’s so important then go out of the court.”

“No!” Liam exclaimed, “No, please, just- let me answer this really quick and I’ll give it to you.”

“Okay.” His coach gave him a serious glare and Liam nodded.

To: Harry

‘yes’

Was the only thing he could type to make it quickly and then he handed his coach the phone and started running again. Fuck, he needed to know what everything was about.

Not too far away from where everything was happening, Niall was watching Liam, how he had been looking at his phone while running and then his body crashed with the guy who was running in front of him and how the both fell to the floor until the coach approached him and started talking to him. Or yelling or reprehend him, he wouldn’t know because of his headphones.

*

When the practice was finally over, and thank God because Liam hadn’t been able to concentrate during the game because his mind was with what Harry had been texting him. So as soon as he was out of the field, he walked to his coach, who handed him his phone back and said something like “I don’t want this to happen again” but he wasn’t really listening, to preoccupied with unlocking the screen of his phone to see if he had a reply from his friend. He did have one.

From: Harry

‘I know who your admirer is ;) I’ll be out of the lockers room when you’re out of practice’

Liam’s eyes went wide and the phone almost slips from his hand and fell to the floor but he was quick to catch it. His heart started beating so fast into his ribcage he could easily be having a heart attack soon.

He run into the changing room, getting his clothes out of his locker and into the shower and made it in record time, that was definitely the quickest shower he had ever taken but he needed to get the hell out of there now if he didn’t want to die from all the nerves he was starting to feel.

So after putting all his clothes on and throwing his football uniform messily into his bag, he trotted out of the room, and just as the text said, there Harry was waiting for him.

“What the hell? How do you know? Who is it? Harry, please-“ he started speaking so fast, his words were stumbling one over another.

“Woah! Calm down there, bro!” Harry laughed.

“Harry!” he almost yelled at him, and you could almost see the desperation on his features.

“Alright. Are you sure you’re ready to hear this?” Harry asked before telling him, he wanted to make sure about this first.

Liam nodded quickly, “please.”

“Alright, it’s…” he started and he could see Liam’s eyes go wide and his mouth open to say something to him, probably make him hurry or curse him but he cut him off, finishing his sentence, “Niall.”

Liam’s face turned into a confused one then, “what?”

“It’s Niall.” Harry repeated.

“But… that’s not- how’s that-“ Liam started and Harry smiled.

“Come on, I saw the way you looked at him when we went to his room weeks ago. And don’t think I’m that stupid not to notice you staring at him on the cafeteria.”

“W- what?” Liam stuttered, a slight blush making his way over his neck and cheeks.

Harry rolled his eyes at his friends, “come on, Liam, you might fool Louis but you’re not fooling me. Now go get your man.”

“W- WHAT?!” he yelled then, finally, and Harry shushed him, “Harry, I don’t- I don’t like boys.” He explained then, his voice lower now.

“Now, how would you know that?”

“I don’t- I just know!”

“Liam,” Harry said calmly then and put a hand on Liam’s shoulder, “it’s okay if you like him, it doesn’t have to mean anything, you know? Just- just go there and talk to him about this and sort it out, it doesn’t mean he’ll automatically become your boyfriend or something. You wanted to know, well, now you know.”

“I just…” Liam started, looking away from his friends eyes and to the ground, “are you sure? What if it’s not him? What if he denies it? What if he laughs at me?” he started speaking until his voice became a whisper while saying the last part.

Harry smiled and squeezed Liam’s shoulder, “see? You care about it, don’t try to deny it.” he said and Liam playfully pushed him away. “He won’t laugh at you, Liam, he can’t even talk to you without stuttering or look at you in the eyes. Do you need more proof?”

“I…”

“Liam.” Harry said sternly, tired of Liam trying to get out of this. “Go.”

Liam then took a large breath and nodded, more to himself than anything. “Okay…”

Harry smiled at him, “good, I’ll see you later and we’ll talk about it.” and then he was walking away from Liam.

“Wait!” Liam turned around to see Harry.

“What?” the green eyed boy turned to look at his friend again.

“Where do I find him?”

“He’s sitting on the stands on the side of the pitch.” Harry told him and turned around to walk away again.

Okay, alright, it was now or never. He took another deep breath before letting it out and started making his way to the field.

Just as he put his feet on the grass, he could see Niall from the distance, standing and starting to walk away. No. No, he needed to do this and he needed to do it now. He started running in the blonde’s direction, hoping to catch him before he was out of sight.

“Hey!” he yelled at Niall once he wasn’t that far away from him but Niall didn’t turn around. So he sped up his running a bit until he was just behind him and put a hand on the blonde’s shoulder.

He saw Niall give a small jump and turn around, a hand over his heart, probably because he had scared him.

“Hi.” Liam said, a little out of breath but still couldn’t held back the smile that appeared on his face when he saw Niall’s shy eyes hiding behind those black glasses and his cheeks getting more blushed by the second.

“Uh, h- hi.” The blonde said, the grip his hand had on the stripe from his bag tightening.

“So, uhm…” Liam started, scratching the back of his neck, “I… I wanted to ask you something.”

Niall nodded slowly, “o- okay…”

“It’s you, right?” he asked softly and Niall looked at him as if he was confused so he added, “the one sending me the poems. It’s you.”

Niall’s face was completely red now and his eyes were looking down, his whole body tensing. Shit, he was caught and Liam was going to say he was disgusted by him and that he was horrible and he really wanted to cry. He wanted to get to his room right now and let it out but he couldn’t find the strength to move, it was so embarrassing, he could already feel the tears coming to his eyes.

“Hey…” Liam said softly, putting his hand on the blonde’s chin to lift his face. “Don’t cry…” he whispered when he saw Niall’s blue eyes filling with tears.

“I’m s- sorry.” Niall mumbled out, still not moving and Liam moved closer, his warm hand repositioning to touch his cheek.

“I really liked them. All of them.” He smiled at Niall, who casted his eyes down again. “Did you write them?” he asked then even though he was ninety nine percent sure than Niall did write all of them.

Niall only nodded, still not looking up.

“You’re really good.” He said again and suddenly Liam’s voice was really soft but sounded so close, like he was just inches away from him, his body tensing up again. “Hey, relax, it’s okay.” Liam said and he could almost hear a smile in his voice. That gave Niall just a bit of confidence to move his eyes back to Liam’s face. God, he was so close he felt like he was going to explode. “You’re so pretty.” Liam whispered then, because he was, he really thought he was, his eyes falling from Niall’s eyes to his lips and his hand moving from his cheek to his neck.

“U- uh…” Niall tried to say something but nothing really came out of his mouth.

“Can I kiss you?” Liam whispered, so soft it was barely audible but he could already feel his breath on his lips and- oh God, he surely was so blushed right now he looked like an apple. He just nodded weakly though, because he really, really wanted to kiss Liam, even if this was just a dream, it was what he’d been dreaming of for the past months.

Liam gave him a faint smile before closing the small gap between their lips, just pressing them together for a moment, his hand still on Niall’s neck while he just stood there, his hand still gripping the strap of his bag. Liam smiled at him when he pulled away and noticed Niall’s red face and the way he was biting his bottom lip looking like he was embarrassed. He moved his hand up to the blonde’s cheek then, rubbing circles with his thumb. “What’s wrong?”

Niall just shook his head.

“Please? What’s wrong?” he asked again and pressed a small kiss to the corner of Niall’s mouth.

“That was my first kiss.” Niall mumbled out quickly, not even with enough time to stutter. God, this couldn’t get any more embarrassing for him.

Liam just looked at him seriously, Niall’s eyes averting to the floor again and then Liam smiled, “I can do better than that.”

“I don’t-“ Niall started but was quickly cut off by Liam’s lips pressing against his again, his eyes falling shut quickly. This time Liam moved his lips, just a little though, not even trying to deepen the kiss, and Niall was just trying to copy him. He felt so stupid. Twenty years and he had never been kissed, shame on him.

“Come on,” Liam said when he pulled away, moving his hand from Niall’s neck to grab his hand, “I’ll walk you to your room.” He smiled and started walking, Niall still couldn’t believe what was happening and that he was holding Liam’s hand.

The walk from the pitch to the dorms was silent, Niall looking down but with a small smile playing on his lips, and Liam catching a glance of the blonde every few seconds and smiling. He really was cute.

They made their way to the third floor, where Niall’s room was and Liam walked him to the door, where they stopped and looked at each other. A smile grew on Liam’s face as he looked at Niall, who was now again blushing but shyly smiling back at him.

Liam leaned forward and so did Niall, their lips connecting halfway and touching again. Niall let out a small sigh and Liam chuckled and pulled away, only to move closer again and wrap his hands around the blonde’s waist. Good thing no one was around.

Niall’s arm slowly made their way around Liam’s neck, resting on the older boy shoulders, while Liam pressed a small kiss to his neck and going to his earlobe. “I’ll see you soon, yeah? Maybe you’ll even get your first snog.” He whispered in the blonde’s ear teasingly and placing a kiss behind it before pulling away, untangling his arms from Niall’s waist just to see a very flushed Niall. He laughed and kissed him on the cheek, leaning closer to his ear again, “or who knows,” he shrugged, “even your first shag.”

This fucker.

And just- wow. What. Niall was just standing there and Liam laughed briefly, his eyes crinkling. “See you, babe.” Liam whispered, pecking the blonde’s lips one last time and winked at him, not even giving him time to respond and then he was walking away.

Niall took a deep breath and took his keys out of his bag with shaky hands and entered his room, throwing his bag to the floor and closing the door quickly before running to the bed and flying himself and falling ungraciously on it. His face against the pillow, screaming in happiness.

For the rest of the day, he just couldn’t stop smiling.

*

The next day, when Niall woke up, he had to think about what had happened the previous day a thousand times to assure himself that it hadn’t been a dream and that Liam Payne had actually kissed him.

He smiled for a bit, and then his smile faded, that couldn’t be true though, Liam couldn’t actually like him. He was a nerd and had no friends and Liam was popular and fit and could have whoever he wanted. Surely he just had been kidding, thinking that it would make Niall’s day if he just kissed him, not knowing that it was actually awful and heartbreaking.

He sighed, making his way to the bathroom and took a shower. And once out, he dried himself and changed into clean clothes to start a new day. Should he go and leave a note on Liam’s room or…?

And just as that thought crossed his mind, a small piece of paper came from under his door. He frowned and bent down to pick it up. He unfolded it and blushed at the words. He couldn’t believe his luck.

‘morning kisses? ;)’ was all it said, scribbled in a messy hand writing, and under the words there was a phone number.

He quickly took his phone out and saved the number there and put the paper in his pocket while already opening a new text message. But what should he write though?

He opened the door while thinking about a smart text to send so he wouldn’t sound desperate, when there was already an arm flying to wrap around his waist and a smiley Liam leaning forward to kiss him.

Wow, just… wow.

Their lips were pressed together for a couple of seconds before they pulled away.

“Morning, beautiful.” Liam beamed at him and Niall blushed and offered a small smile back, leaning forward to peck the older boy on the lips, actually initiating the action and making Liam chuckle softly. He could definitely get used to this.