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"I missed you."
Gilbert pushed Roderich against the wall of the cubicle with force. But not with enough force to hurt him.
-
The pair had not seen each other for months, and due to the soviet occupation of east Germany, the only time Austria and Prussia could meet were half hour (at the most) rendezvous at formal functions held by host countries.
That in itself was rare though, as no other country at this period wanted any involvement with the German countries after the war.
This one of few rare occasions was a ball held by Russia, and as Austria has current pleasant relations with said country, he attended.
-
"I missed you too.. so much, liebe"
Gilbert buried his face into the smaller males neck, breathing in the familiar sweet scent of his lover so desperately, as if he had never breathed before at all.
-
It was a guessing game each time for Austria.
Any ball or gathering he was formally invited to, he would jump on the chance to attend, even if it was just to catch a glimpse of Gilbert.
Most times he was left immensely disappointed at not seeing the unfortunate sight of the former nation hidden in the corner of the room, wrapped in a Russian uniform while both sisters of the Russian federation sat alongside him at both sides to prevent him from interaction.
This time however, the albino man was allowed to speak, and walk around almost freely, if it weren't for stares from a certain russian man scaring him into submission.
-
Both men shared rough, wet kisses. Hands searching wildly for a resting point.
Roderich’s fingers tangled in the overgrown white strands of hair at the back of Gilbert's head. They both pulled away, panting hot breaths, and leaned their foreheads on each others own.
"You need a haircut." the Austrian whispered, smiling.
Prussia let out an amused hum and placed a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth.
"Why was he letting you roam so freely, Gilbert?" Roderich questioned him, refering to Ivan. He kept his voice low.
"Dunno, i heard that the walls gettin' demolished soon.. or somethin' along those lines. I don't know for certain but shit, specs, i can finally see Lud again, i hope. I haven't seen-"
Austria cupped the other mans face and kissed him into silence, breaking it for just a moment.
"You talk so loudly, like you want us to be caught Gilbert."
Said man smiled sheepishly and returned a peck to Roderich's lips. "Sorry schatz.. i just want to see him.. so badly.."
Roderich nodded in understanding "I know-"
"A-and you! obviously." Gilbert raised his voice and stuttered, pulling the Austrian man into a tight, clumsy embrace.
Roderich chuckled quietly into the taller mans chest and brought his hands up to stroke his back soothingly.
He had an inkling that his younger brother was a touchy subject.
"We don't have much time left.” Roderich sighed shakily, moving his head to look at his lover.
Gilbert leaned down to capture his lips, hand holding his chin to allow himself more access. This kiss was filled with desperation and passion.
"I just want to hold you, Roderich."
"You are, Liebling."
The albino male leaned down, inhaling Roderich's sweet scent once more, and placed tender kisses down the column of his pale neck. His teeth dragged along the junction of the shorter males neck and shoulder.
The Austrian’s breath hitched.
Gilbert pulled Roderich's chin up to face him, his crimson eyes visibly glossy with tears. Seeing this made Roderich's own eyes prick with tears.
"ich will dich berühren"
Gilbert kissed Roderich deeply. His tongue darted across the Austrians lower lip as his hand memorised each curl of the brown strands of hair tangled within his bony fingers.
Roderich followed suit as he let gilbert explore his mouth with his tongue, slender pianist fingers tangling in silver.
Austria could feel his hands shaking as they held weakly at the Prussians hips.
"Ich mache auch, Gilbert."
They didn't know when the next time they saw each other would be.
After all, talk of the wall being demolished on Russia's side was highly likely to be rumored.
Roderich hated to admit that sometimes, he thought about what if there wouldn't be a next time?
Almost 40 years on, and the undying fear of never loving Gilbert as he did so freely once before, made him cry himself to sleep.
-
"I have to go now"
Gilbert said, voice hoarse from the overwhelming emotions both men shared in the 30 minutes spent together.
The silver haired man caressed Roderich's cheek gently, brushing a thumb over his swollen lips.
They both shared a moment of tenderness.
Amethyst stared into ruby, and a chaste kiss was placed onto Austria's forehead.
Tears overflowed from Gilbert's eyes and he smiled briefly before turning to exit the cubicle.
He spoke, loud and clear.
Unafraid.
“Österreich”
Roderich choked, a cry getting caught in his throat.
He looked at Gilbert's back, trying to keep his composure until the very end.
He eyed his lovers shoulders, which were visibly trembling.
He reached out and held the former nation's hand tightly.
“Ja, Preußen?”
Roderich's voice shook with pain, he grasped at Gilbert's hand desperately as he felt his grip loosen.
“Ich liebe dich.”
And with that, Prussia was gone.
-
Roderich stood still at first. Tears finally being free to stream down his cheeks.
He slid down against the wall, to the floor in a heap. His tears ran violently into puddles of poignancy in his palms.
He grit his teeth.
"Ich liebe dich auch"
His wails were painful and his cries were cutting through the silent air of the washroom.
He stayed there, on the floor, until he could not cry anymore, until he was left numb on the ground, hugging his knees and trembling.
Without Gilbert, was the only time Roderich felt truly alone.