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Yoosung rang the doorbell with his elbow and shifted on his feet. Carrying all this food was annoying. Pizza, fish shaped buns, fries, chips and PhD Pepper he'd promised Seven. All that running around had made him late. He was so flustered. He was going to absolutely strangle Seven for making he get this much food…
The door swung open. “YOOSUNG, YOU LITTLE CUTIE! WELCOME TO FOREVER ALONE VALENTINE'S DAY!” Seven said, with his arms open only slightly wider than his smile.
“Hey, Seven, take your food!”
Seven grabbed the chips and drinks, then started to push past Yoosung.
“Wh-where are you going?”
Seven snaked his hand into the pizza box, coming back with a slice mostly devoid of cheese and toppings, and started to shove it in his mouth.
“Gotta work!” He said, as he began to sprint to his ostentatious car. Yoosung rolled his eyes.
Zen was standing in the living room, shaking his head. “He just got off the phone when you rang the doorbell. That guy…”
“I wouldn't mind so much if he wasn't the one who asked me to bring all this food.”
Zen gestured to his coffee table. It was covered in takeout food from various different places.
“We got used.”, Zen said, with an amused smirk.
“At least we have options?” Yoosung said, with a shrug, as he walked over and put his food onto the table too.
“Wasn't this whole party his idea?” Zen asks, going to the fridge and coming back with some beers.
“Ah, actually… that was me.” Yoosung said, a bit embarrassed. “The actual like, Forever Alone group is having one, but I don't really know anyone there, and RFA is kind of it's own forever alone club, isn't it?” He said, with a little laugh.
Zen chuckled as he popped the tab on his beer.
“Oh, shit.”
“What is it?”
Zen frowned. “Seven took all the soda. Do you even drink beer? I should have asked before. I'm sorry.”
“ Zen.” Yoosung said, sounding amused. “I'm a college student. I drink beer. Haven't you ever seen a movie?”
Zen nodded. “Yeah, yeah, here ya go, man.”
“I'm only a year and a few months younger than you.” Yoosung said, only pouting a little. “Everyone always treats me like I'm still in high school.”
“Sorry…” Zen said, feeling a bit embarrassed about it. He did tend to nag Yoosung sometimes. “It's not that I forget, I just worry. I think everyone does. I mean, when I was your age-”
“So like, last year?”
Zen rolled his eyes. “Yes. Whatever. I don't want to to sound mean, but I think the rest of the RFA just had to grow up really fast. You don't. You get to be Yoosung Kim and be 21 and enjoy it, and I'm happy for you.”
Yoosung smiled at him. “Thank you.” Of course, he didn't just get to be 21 year old Yoosung Kim, but it seemed tragedy had the opposite effect on him than it did the other members.
They had to grow up and he just regressed and wanted time to stop moving. He sipped his beer. It was a Forever Alone party, but he didn't need to be that depressing.
“Sorry I didn't ask before, I would have gotten your preferred brand.”
Yoosung waved his hand. “Its fine. I like this. I haven't really tried that many different ones, I tend to just buy the one my dad drinks.”
Zen nodded. “I'm glad you like it. C'mon, let's sit down. I feel weird standing around my kitchen like this.” He said, laughing awkwardly.
Yoosung nodded and moved to the couch. When he sat down, he felt something poking him in the back. He turned around and something was sticking out from the cushions. He pulled it out.
“Hey, Zen,” he said, watching Zen make his way to the couch. “You left your uh, book?” He said, lifting it. It wasn't a novel, it was a diary or-
“Is this a photo album?” Yoosung asked, excitedly.
“W- Yoosung-” Zen protested as Yoosung opened it. There was a family portrait. Everyone had reasonable fake smiles, except Zen, sitting on his brother's lap, looked genuinely happy.
Yoosung had barely gotten to look at it when Zen slammed it shut and grabbed it as he sat by Yoosung. He shoved it into the cushions on his side of the couch.
“Aw, c'mon, Zen! That picture was so sweet! You were such an adorable kid, I wanna see more!”
“Well, that was the only one with me in it, so you're not missing anything.” He said, a little stiffly. He stared at the television, even though it wasn't on. Yoosung tilted his head.
“Sorry, I know you don't like to talk about your fami-”
“Mom wouldn't take pictures of me because she said I was ugly. Everyone else took pictures of me, though. I never got to see any of those. I wonder what happened to them.” He took a sip of his beer.
Yoosung copied him. His mother told him he was ugly? He looked so happy, though…
“You're not ug-”
Zen cut him off with a laugh. “I know that one, kid.” He looked at Yoosung, who was just giving small nods.
“I know it too much. I don't like all the modeling stuff, there's no talent there. Not with me. Someone just tells me to stand some way and I do. And then I get paid? I get praise for that?”
“I thought you liked when people told you- I mean you're always posting selfies and-”
“It's different in the chat.” He said. There was a little blush in his cheeks.
It was astonishingly beautiful and Yoosung was not going to say that, he was just going to memorize it.
“You guys are just my friends. You don't think like other people do about the way i look. You can all just enjoy them and tell me to shut up.” He said, with a little laugh. “Not like directors or fans who only see my headshot and think that it really means something. Think that's a good reason to pick me.” Zen slumped over like a wilting flower. He really sounded upset.
Yoosung chewed on his lip a moment before responding.
“I never cared too much about that. It's not… the most impressive thing about you, Zen. You're so strong and independent and you're so talented.”
Zen looked up at him without lifting his head. His hair obscured Yoosung's face a bit. He couldn't read his expression that way. He didn't want to. It was easy enough to tell someone something just to cheer them up, wasn't it? Just empty words between friends.
Zen let out a dry laugh and looked back down at his beer. “You've never been to any of my shows, Yoosung. The most you would have seen is that video Seven posted.”
He tilted his head back and took a long draw from his beer.
Yoosung fidgeted in his seat. “That's not true.”
Zen lowered his head slowly, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Oh, really?” He asked. He was curious, but it didn't really come through. It came out sort of accusatory.
Yoosung bit his lip again. “I don't know why I didn't tell you this, I don't know why I never wanted to- I felt embarrassed, I guess, just because… that's when I really started to like you, I guess.”
Zen's heart pumped slower and harder. His mind was swirling.
“Like…” That word could mean a lot of things. No conclusions, Zen. “What you talking about, Yoosung?”
His face had gone pink. He covered it with his hands.
“Yoosung…”
He uncovered his mouth, but kept his hands over his eyes. “Rika used to take me to see you preform.”
Zen felt a shock rush through him, only slightly numbed by the alcoholic haze protecting him from comprehending too much too quickly.
“You saw me?”
Yoosung nodded. “I never wanted to tell you because it was embarrassing to- because I liked you from the first time i saw you act and I thought that was so, so childish. Like, to f-fall in-” Yoosung's hands fell from his face and he stared out with wide eyes. “Well, not- I didn't mean-” he sighed. He looked like he might cry.
“I didn't want it to be like that. I didn't want to approach you like a crazy fan or something, you know? And honestly, I'd still go see you if I could, but I can't afford it…” he played with the zipper on his hoodie.
“And then you joined The RFA and that… I nearly died. I was so embarrassed to say anything in the chat for a while. But you're so nice, you made it easy.”
Zen was leaned back onto the couch, staring at the ceiling, trying to take all the information in.
“When was the first time you saw me on stage?”
He was trying to do the math. It was before Rika died, so- and he'd mentioned…. Shit .
“I was still in high school. It was before you joined The RFA, like i said. It was a few yea-”
“And you've felt like this the whole time?” Zen asked, sitting up quickly and leaning towards Yoosung. His eyes were wide and curious and- there was something sad in them. Some kind of pity for Yoosung.
Yoosung turned his head away, he couldn't stand to look into those eyes.
“Yeah.”
“Y-you never let on.” Zen said, quietly.
Yoosung was red now, and his expression was so soft as he looked at the floor, thinking over everything.
“I thought I did. I tried to. But the thing about the chat, the way we all talk to each other- Seven kind of set a tone where anyone can say anything, didn't he? Always flirting with everyone to mess with us. So no one ever noticed.”
Zen looked at Yoosung with his eyebrows drawn together.
“I'd be lying if I said I hadn't used that to my advantage a few times.” He admitted.
Yoosung whipped his head around to look at him, his hair settling messily. “You what?”
“With Seven in there saying whatever he wanted i got to- call you cute, and tell you things I wouldn't have been able to say-” he pushed Yoosung's hair out of his eyes softly.
“Guess you didn't notice either.”
“I just thought you were teasing me too.” He said, his breath shuddering a bit now that Zen was touching him.
Zen shook his head, then paused. “Maybe a little. But only because I didn't know I was allowed to say it sincerely.”
He tucked Yoosung's hair behind his ear and withdrew his hand. “Am I? Allowed to say it sincerely?”
Yoosung nodded furiously.
“Am I allowed to kiss you?”
Yoosung's mouth fell open slightly, his heart was absolutely racing, and he knew, he just knew he was melting into a puddle right there.
“I've- Zen, I don't think-” God, he wanted this, but he didn't want to embarrass himself… well, embarrass himself further.
“What is it?” Zen asked, his heart sinking into his stomach a bit. He was waking up from what had been such a nice dream, and he just wanted to roll over and melt back into sleep.
“I've never kissed anyone before, so I don't think I should, because then it won't be good for you, since you've kissed people before, and-”
Zen laughed abruptly, throwing his head back. His anxiety melted away. He'd thought Yoosung might say something about The RFA, just staying the way they were so they wouldn't ruin their friendship, maybe.
“ Zen… ” Yoosung said, in a whiny voice.
“Oh, no, no, I'm not laughing at you- well I mean a little- I thought you were going to say something else. No, listen-”
He put his hand on Yoosung's warm, blushed face.
“You'd rather have to kiss other people before me?”
Yoosung shook his head as much as he could without removing himself from Zen's touch.
“Don't worry, then, okay?”
Yoosung's eyes widened as Zen leaned closer. His lips just barely brushed Yoosung's as he stopped to ask again, “May I kiss you?”
“Yes.” Yoosung said, quietly, longing for that little brush of Zen's lips against his when they spoke.
And then it just got better. Zen's kiss was gentle, just lips settling over lips softly. Yoosung sat there for a second and pulled back.
“Shouldn't we like… move around more? Like… I don't know, that's not how it is in movies.”
Zen blinked. “You didn't like it?”
“No- that's not it! I really- I really liked it.” He said, smiling. “I was just worried it wasn't enough for you.”
“If it's enough for you, it's enough for me.” He said. He wrapped his hand around Yoosung's chin and kissed his cheek.
“It's not like that's the last kiss you'll ever get from me.” He whispered against Yoosung's ear.
Yoosung grabbed Zen's arm and put it around himself, cuddling into Zen's chest.
“I guess Forever Alone Valentine's was a bust, huh?”
“Oof, I didn't bring you any chocolate.”
“Are we allowed to do White Day?”
Zen shrugged. “I guess. We can do whatever we want, Yoosung. We can buy each other chocolate any day we want.”
“Thank the Catholic God that Seven had to go to work today or we'd just be watching action movies or something…”
Zen laughed and played with Yoosung's hair.
“What do you want to watch instead?”
Yoosung buried his face. “I like romantic stuff.”
“Perfect day for it.” Zen said, grabbing the remote and pulling up Zipflix.
Yoosung sighed happily and settled in, suggesting different movies to Zen as he scrolled. Zen talked about which ones reminded him of plays he'd been in. It was an honest hour and a half before they finally chose a movie. All the food was cold. The beer was warm.
They were happy.
And back in his bunker, Seven was snickering to himself as he kicked ass in LOLOL on the Shooting Star server. One more boss and he'd be above Yoosung on the leaderboard. Everything was going according to plan. Perfect Valentine's prank! And he'd gotten free food out of it!