Work Text:
At the Fandom Cafe:
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
I can't believe the Avengers lost in Avengers: Infinity War! How could *THAT* have happened???
RAMSEY BOLTON
I know. What a tragedy.
JOFFREY BARATHEON
So, does this mean I won the bet?
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
Don't get your hopes up, dude.
(Just then, Thanos is seen snapping his fingers. Bolg calls out to them.)
BOLG PATASE
Uh, guys? Did you just hear that?
JOFFREY BARATHEON
Hear what?
RON PUCKERMAN
What? That snap?
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
Yeah, the snap. That's not good.
BOLG PATASE
I feel weird.
RAMSEY BOLTON
Bolg? Are you all right?
(Ron walks towards Jacquelyn with a weird look on his face.)
RON PUCKERMAN
Jacquelyn?
(He turns into dust.)
JOFFREY BARATHEON
OK, that's not right...
(just then, several other people are seen turning into dust.)
PEETA MELLARK
Uh-oh!
(he turns into dust.)
MURTAGH
CURSE YOU!!!
(he turns into dust.)
OBARA SAND
That's so not right!!
(she turns into dust.)
EMMETT CULLEN
NOOOOO!!!
(he turns into dust.)
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
What's going on here?
JACE WAYLAND
It's the snappening!! That's what!!
ALICE CULLEN
Oh no, something's happening...
(she turns into dust)
KATNISS EVERDEEN
Jace?
(she turns into dust)
JACE WAYLAND
Oh man!!!
(he turns into dust)
RAMSAY BOLTON
What's going on here? Why are our friends turning into dust?
ORI SCHWARFSTEIN
Because that evil Thanos snapped his fingers, just like what Alice said.
NYMERIA SAND
This is so not fair!! Why would he do that???
TYENE SAND
Because in the comics, Thanos wanted to hook up with Lady Death.
All
EEEEWWWWWW!!!!
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
Well, it's true. But that doesn't help our current situation.
BOLG PATASE
Guys, HELP!!!
(he turns to dust.)
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF, RAMSEY BOLTON, and JOFFREY BARATHEON
Oh no!! BOLG!!!
(Newt falls onto the floor in shock as Thomas rushes towards him.)
THOMAS
On your feet, Newt; this is no place to...
(he turns into dust as Newt screams in horror.)
FOUR
You know, none of this would have happened if you guys had let me and Tris help you...
NYMERIA SAND
Not likely. And besides, this snappening is the only way...
(she turns to dust.)
ERETRIA
(sees Wil crawling on the floor trying to escape, but he turns to dust.)
No Wil, NO!!!
WIL
Help me...
(he turns to dust.)
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
Well, I hope Thanos is happy with what he's done! He's killing all our friends!!
JOFFREY BARATHEON
Yeah. I hate that stupid Thanos.
TYENE SAND
I HATE YOU, THANOS!!!
NEWT
YEAH!! YOU DESERVE TO DIE!!
PERCY JACKSON
This is why we can't have nice things!!
(Just then, Eragon is seen stumbling to the ground.)
ERAGON
Uh, guys? I don't feel so good. I don't know what's happening!! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
You're not going to die.
ERAGON
I can't die; if I die, my dragon dies along with me and I can't let that happen!!
(he hugs Ramsey)
You gotta help me, dude!!
RAMSEY BOLTON
Don't worry, dude, it's not that bad...
(he turns into dust.)
ERAGON
I'm so sorry, Saphira...
(they both turn into dust.)
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
OK, this calls for some extreme measures.
ANNABETH CHASE
What do you mean by "extreme measures"?
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
We call for help. Let's go!!
(At this, the remaining group runs through the cafe as their friends turn into dust. Once they reach Jacquelyn's office, Percy, Annabeth, Newt, Tyene, and Eretria have turned into dust.)
ORI SCHWARFSTEIN
Uh, Jacquelyn? It seems that we have less time than we thought. So, whatever you're doing, you better step it up!
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
Why?
JOFFREY BARATHEON
Because I'M TURNING INTO DUST!!!
(he turns into dust, leaving Jacquelyn and Ori behind.)
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
Dammit!! I guess I have no other choice...
(she reaches into her bag and pulls out a T-Mobile Sidekick 3.)
I hope this thing still works...
ORI SCHWARFSTEIN
Why?
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
I've been saving this for an emergency...
(she turns on the phone and types a text message.)
ORI SCHWARFSTEIN
Uh, Jacquelyn? Who are you texting?
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
Someone I know who will save us all.
ORI SCHWARFSTEIN
Jacquelyn? I'm scared...
(he turns into dust as Jacquelyn sends the message.)
JACQUELYN-CLAIRE RITTERWOLFF
Ori?
(she looks down and sees herself turning into dust.)
Oh, son of a...
(she turns into dust)
(The phone falls to the ground with a clatter, yet the message Jacquelyn typed is still sending. Within three seconds, a strange symbol is seen, with the initials AF.)