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“Phil, you’re standing on my foot, you clod!” Daniel Howell yelped as the Interactive Introverts tour bus turned down the corner of 42nd street in New York City.
“Sorry!” Phil Lester replied as he quickly shifted his weight off of Dan’s foot and onto the second bus step.
Both young men peered excitedly out the front window at the bright lights of Broadway as the bus driver warned them for the dozenth time to stand back of the white line. Although they immediately apologized, neither one moved from their spot as their eyes took in the glitter and glamour of the blinking lights and neon signs of the historic district.
“I wish we had enough time to watch a Broadway show,” Dan pined. As a theater kid and aspiring actor, seeing a Broadway play had always been high on his bucket list.
“We’ll come back,” Phil assured Dan, “We’ll make it happen.”
Dan sighed, “Yeah. One day.”
Forty minutes later, the bus finally made it to the Plaza Hotel where Marianne had secured them reservations for a suite of rooms for New Year’s Eve. Phil was first off the bus and was immediately surrounded by screaming fans.
“Hi!” Phil said warmly, waving to the crowd. Dan jumped off the bus theatrically with jazz hands and Phil rolled his eyes as everyone else laughed.
“Hello everyone!” Dan exclaimed, his “Danisnotonfire” character surfacing and hiding his trepidation at being surrounded by dozens of hyperventilating fans.
Marianne stepped into action and announced that they young men simply could not stop to take pictures with everyone and must get into the hotel. Dan and Phil shrugged and apologized, waving and making a point to high-five everyone they could as they transitioned from the freezing curbside to the toasty hotel lobby.
“Holy titballs,” Dan said as they took in the beauty of the vast lobby of the Plaza Hotel.
“This is amazing!” Phil exclaimed as he noted the vaulted ceilings above and expensive carpet beneath their feet.
Marianne took the lead and led them to the front desk to check in.
“That will be the suite with a view of Time Square for the gentlemen,” the clerk said formally.
“Thank you,” Dan and Phil said in unison, then looked at each other and inwardly moaned. Could they be any more in sync? Phil smirked and Dan stifled a laugh.
They took the special elevator up to their room. The elevator had a glass bottom center, and Dan dared Phil to jump. Phil hugged the side and refused to even place a foot on the glass. Dan stood squarely in the center and jumped, causing the elevator to lurch and Phil to scream, “Oh my God! Dan, you’re going to kill us all!” Dan just laughed and looked down at the scenic mezzanines whizzing by below them. “Look at all the plant life!” he said, “Phil, you would kill all of those in about a week.”
“I would not! It would be two weeks!” Phil retorted with a laugh.
“Yeah, I’ll give you two,” Dan said, giggling.
The elevator came to a soft stop and the doors opened to reveal the door to their personal suite right in front of them.
Phil swiped the card in the door and opened it into a vast suite with three bed rooms, a living area, and a kitchenette.
“This is bigger than our flat!” Phil enthused as he ran around the room touching everything and opening all the doors.
“Phil, that’s expensive! Don’t touch it!” Dan exclaimed as Phil picked up a miniature abstract sculpture. “It’s probably by Banksy or something, put it down!”
Marianne crossed the room and opened the curtains onto their sprawling view of where the New Year’s Eve ball would drop later that evening.
“Oh my God!” Dan exclaimed as he jogged to the window. “We’re never leaving. This is amazing!”
Phil nearly dropped the sculpture as he took in the fantastic scene below. “This is perfect! We can see everything!”
“And,” Marianne interjected, “you’ll be safe and warm instead of standing out in the middle of the murderous streets of New York City!”
Dan and Phil gave each other a quick look then said, “Yes! It’s perfect!”
Marianne, not one to miss out on anything said, “And what was that glance about?”
“What glance?” Phil said, innocently.
“You are not going downstairs and into the streets by yourselves. It’s not happening.”
“Of course not!” Dan re-assured Marianne.
There was a long pause as Marianne eyed them up and down. “Do I have to bring up the incident in Paris when you both wandered off and I couldn’t find you for hours?
“No,” they answered in unison.
___________
Two years prior, during The Amazing Tour is Not On Fire:
“Now, promise me you won’t get lost.” Marianne was wagging a finger at them, her 5’1” figure doing its best to fill the doorframe of their hotel room. She wasn’t very keen on the idea of her charges going out alone in a country whose language they didn’t speak.
Phil laughed. “Dear god, Marianne. We aren’t twelve years old, you know! And I do speak French: ‘J’aime manger les petits enfants.’” He stuck his chin out proudly.
Marianne rolled her eyes. “You like to eat small children, huh?”
Phil rolled his eyes, though the two tall men made no move to force their way past the tiny woman blocking their way. Their personal assistant was the scariest person they knew.
Continuing in the same vein, Phil protested “But we can’t leave Paris without sightseeing and shopping! We have to home tomorrow.”
Dan decided to take a different tactic. “Please, Marianne? We promise we’ll be back in plenty of time for the show. Paris is laid out in perfect grids, and it’s not like we won’t have our phones. We made sure to upgrade to a better international plan and we need to get our money’s worth.”
Dan could see the gears start to turn in Marianne’s head at the thought of saving money. “Well, in that case. . .” She stepped out of the doorway a little. “But you’d better not be late!” she called at their backs. The glamourous streets of Paris drew them deeper and deeper into the city as the hours flew by. Tiny shops filled with trinkets lured them in and soon, Phil was holding three bags of souvenirs that they did not have room for in their luggage.
“We could always mail them home I guess,” Dan laughed as he took one of the bags from Phil.
“Oh, that’s a great idea!” Phil said excitedly, “I’ve been holding back! Let’s go find that board game PJ showed us and buy it!”
“It’s getting close to the meet and greet time,” Dan said, “We should probably start to head back to the hotel.”
“Oh, alright,” Phil said. “Let’s get going.”
Dan started walking and Phil called out, “Hey! That’s the wrong way!”
“No it isn’t!” Dan said.
“Yes it is,” Phil argued, “we came from the other direction.”
Dan held his ground and pulled out his phone, “Look, I’ll load up google maps and show you.”
Phil jogged over to Dan and peered over his shoulder at the phone.
Dan held the phone up towards the darkening sky to try to get a signal.
“You have no bars,” Phil said with some concern.
“It’s fine!” Dan said, “Let’s just walk a bit until we get a signal. Um, let’s go towards that big building. There is probably a cell tower there.”
The two young men walked briskly towards the highest building three blocks away, each feeling a sense of urgency as the sky started to fade from blue to pink and purple.
When they arrived at the building, Dan pulled out his phone and tried to load Google Maps.
“Dammit,” he said under his breath.
Phil tried his phone and tried as well, but there was no use. There were no bars and the app would not load. “The tall buildings and narrow streets must be blocking the signal.”
“What are we going to do?” Phil said in a panic, “We can’t miss the show!”
“We’re not going to miss the show, just calm down,” Dan said, trying to project an air of calm and control that he did not feel. “Let’s just head back to where we were and retrace our steps. I remember the shops we visited, so we’ll just use them as landmarks.”
“Alright,” Phil said, and they started back towards the shops.
They navigated their way away from the building and back towards the shops. As the minutes ticked past, the shops grew farther and farther apart, and the roads got more and more narrow.
Ten minutes later, Dan admitted what Phil was trying to pretend wasn’t happening.
“We’re lost.”
“Jesus!” Phil said, now in a full panic, “What are we going to do?”
“Okay, I don’t recognize any of these shops, do you?”
“No!”
“And I can’t see the tall building any more,” Dan said, scanning the horizon.
“Neither can I!”
“How long until the meet and greet?”
“Thirty minutes!” Phil said, nervously pacing.
“Okay, we’re going to ask for directions.”
“How? We don’t speak French!” Phil said.
“People here speak English, Phil. Some of them do. We can mime if we have to.”
“Oh, God!” Phil said. “Maybe in the city they do, but we’ve wandered out of the city and into a whatever this place is.”
“Settle down, I’ll take care of it!” Dan soothed, though inside, he was not at all calm.
They picked a small restaurant at random and walked in. Dan stepped right up to the hostess, “Hello, do you speak English?”
“Non,” the hostess said, shaking her head.
“Okay, merci beaucoup,” Dan said with disappointment.
They walked across the street and into a store that appeared to sell only dolls.
“Hello,” Dan smiled, “Do you speak English?”
“Je ne parle pas anglais,” came the quick reply.
“Does anyone here speak English?”
The kind woman tilted her head, obviously not understanding, and repeated with a soft smile, “Je ne parle pas anglais.”
“Oh! Ask if we can use her phone!” Phil suggested.
Dan held up his iPhone and pointed to the landline on the counter, and then back to himself.
“Oui!” the woman said, and turned the phone to face Dan.
Dan dialed Marianne’s iPhone and it rang until it went to voicemail.
“Uh, Hi. We are at a store and we’re lost. We, um, we can’t use our cell phones because we can’t get any reception.”
“And I have to pee!” Phil yelled into the phone.
“Phil!” Dan said sternly, then turned back to the phone, “I, um, I don’t know the number here and I don’t know the address. So, um, I wish you would have picked up. I guess I’ll just keep calling you until you do? Okay, bye.”
“We’ve got to get the phone number here, or the address,” Phil prompted, “so we can tell Marianne how to find us.”
“How do you suggest we do that?” Dan said, becoming exasperated.
“Bonjour. Je suis Phillipe.”
The woman nodded and said, “Bonjour, Phillipe!”
Phil mimed a pencil and paper and the woman quickly obliged. He then drew a phone with blanks underneath and ended the blanks with a question mark. He handed the drawing back to her and pointed at her landline.
She smiled brightly with recognition, took the pencil from Phil, and wrote down the digits to the shops landline.
“Phil! You’re a genius!” Dan said, clapping him on the back.
Just then, the landline began to ring. The kind woman answered the phone and said, “Bonjour, voici Clair, comment puis-je vous aider?”
Her nose crinkled and she said, “Non, Je ne parle pas anglais.”
Dan’s eyes widened. “Oh my God!”
“Uh, merci beaucoup, s'il vous plaît?” Dan said and gestured for her to pass him the phone. She obliged and Dan heard Marianne’s voice on the line saying, “Two men, tall, are they there?”
“Yes!” Dan screamed. “Marianne! How did you find us?”
“Caller ID,” she said, flatly.
“Oh,” Dan said as he mouthed, “caller ID” to Phil, who slapped his forehead.
“Now,” Marianne said, “You’ve missed the meet and greet and we’ll have to do it after the show. I am going to send a car for you. Put me back on the line with the woman who answered. I’ve got google translate open and I’m going to get the address.”
“Okay,” Dan said, and handed the phone back to Clair.
“Quelle est l'adresse de l'heure, s'il vous plaît?” Marianne asked.
Clair slowly gave the street name and building number and then handed the phone back to Dan.
“The car will be on it’s way shortly. It will take you directly to the venue. We will talk about this later.”
“Okay. Thank you!” Dan answered, genuinely relieved.
Marianne hung up.
“She’s mad,” Dan said as he swiped to end the call.
“Is she sending someone to get us?”
“Oh, yes, that too,” Dan said, laughing.
The sky was dark by the time the car pulled up in front of the little shop. Dan and Phil thanked Clair with a dozen Merci beaucoups and then climbed into the car.
Marianne met them with a cold look.
Dan took the lead as the car sped off toward the venue, “Look, we’re sorry. We didn’t get lost on purpose. We just got confused and ….”
“And had me worried sick, “ Marianne finished. “Do you know that you could have gotten robbed or even worse? Not to mention you missed your own meet up!”
“You’re right,” Dan said. “We should have kept better track of time and--”
“--and stayed closer to the hotel! I had no idea where you were, your phones went straight to voicemail, and they needed you to do a technical run through hours ago.“
“Look,” said Marianne, cooling down a bit, “I know you are grown men, but you have to understand that people are counting on you and that your safety is my responsibility. If something happened to you, it would be my job to call your families. “
“You’re right,” Phil said. “It’s my fault. I got to shopping and we wandered away from the hotel and I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright now,” Marianne said, patting Phil on the leg. “Just promise me that you’ll never sneak out again, okay?”
“Absolutely,” they said in unison.
They had behaved for months afterwards, always notifying her of where they were going and what time they would be back. When they sat down and discussed going out for the ball drop, Marianne had put her foot down. It was “too risky” and they “would get mobbed” and “we don’t have enough security”.
After the meeting, Dan and Phil simply looked at each other. Then they smiled.
_________
Times Square, New Year’s Eve:
Dan claimed the bedroom to the left of the living area, and Phil and Marianne took the two rooms to the right. Phil ordered room service for everyone, with champagne for the big moment at midnight.
“Waffles, sir?” the polite yet slightly indignant man on the other end of the line asked Phil.
“Yes, please. Waffles with maple syrup and lots of butter.”
“We typically only serve waffles during breakfast, sir, but we will be happy to make an exception...for you,” the man said, clearly looking at the phone to see that the call was coming from an expensive room.
“Thank you!” Phil said as he hung up.
“You spork. You ordered waffles at 10pm?” Dan giggled as he punched Phil in the shoulder.
“I’m hungry and there isn’t an IHOP nearby!” Phil said, laughing.
Dan rolled his eyes.
They met back in the living area and moved the couch so they could sit on it and take in their view.
They could see the set ups from the major networks below them, and could make out Anderson Cooper’s crisp white hair on the CNN platform below.
“What channel should we watch?” Marianne asked as she came out of her room.
“Um, I don’t know,” Dan said. “I guess CNN since we can see them from here anyway?”
Marianne picked up the channel guide and quickly sorted the television, which was just to the side of the window.
Soon after, the room service came and Dan and Marianne had pizza while Phil devoured his waffles and maple syrup.
Marianne was exhausted and decided that even though the view was spectacular, she was going to turn in early. They popped the champagne early and toasted the 11 o’clock hour with her, then wished her a good night as she closed her bedroom door.
Dan and Phil stole a glance at each other and silently grabbed their coats and headed out to their private elevator.
The plan all along had been to sneak out and see the ball drop live. Marianne going to bed early was the last hurdle between them and the magical streets of New York.
As they crossed the hotel lobby, Dan whipped out his phone and got walking directions to the ball drop site.
“We’re not going to be able to get close,” Dan said, “but we can get close enough to see it.”
“That’s fine,” Phil said, “I just want to say I’ve been here and stood in Time Square!”
They made their way down the street and found themselves in the midst of what the television told them was hundreds of thousands of people. Phil tucked himself closer to Dan. Dan reached out and put a hand on Phil’s space coat so they wouldn’t get seperated.
Together, they gently made their way through the throngs of half-drunk, half-freezing tourists and got closer to the drop site. When they could no longer make any progress forward, they stopped and glanced up at the Plaza, which, surprisingly, was still in plain view after twenty minutes of walking.
“We made it all of 100 yards!” Dan laughed.
“Well, at least we’re that much closer!” Phil yelled to be heard above the crowd.
Dan glanced down at his iPhone, “It’s 11:38! Perfect timing!”
The crowd was growing excited, jumping up and down, and beginning to let out yelps of joy.
“Yeet!” Phil joined in.
“Yeet?” Dan asked, rolling his eyes.
“Come on!” Phil urged. .
“Oh, alright,” Dan gave in, “Yeet!”
Phil laughed loudly and patted Dan on the back. “There you go! That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Dan laughed and turned towards their room above to take a picture of it from the street. “Which one is ours?”
“The one with the light on?” Phil suggested.
“Phil,” Dan began patiently, “most of them have their lights on…”
“I’m joking! It’s that one, there!” Phil said, pointing, “I left my suitcase in the window so we could find it!”
“Oh, yeah!” Dan said, snapping a picture with his phone. “Wow, it’s so cold, my phone didn’t want to recognize my fingerprint!”
“Put your gloves back on before I have to amputate a finger or something,” Phil joked.
“Alright, Mum,” Dan laughed as he slipped his iPhone into his jacket pocket, then reached back in to pull out his glove.
“Oh look, I can see the ball!” Dan said excitedly.
“Where?!” Phil asked.
Dan pointed to a point about 100 yards behind the CNN setup. “Oh yeah! I see it, I see it!” Phil said, taking out his camera and using the volume button to capture the picture.
“Let’s see if we can get closer!” Dan suggested, and the two started taking tiny steps towards the twinkling ball ahead of them.
A few moments later, they were just even with the CNN podium and it was clear they would not be able to advance any farther forward.
“This seems like a good spot,” Phil said as they met up with the tightly packed crowd ahead.
“Looks great to me!” Dan enthused.
“Four more minutes!” Phil yelled as the voices around them suddenly increased in volume.
“What’s happening?!” Dan yelled at Phil.
They watched the crowd and saw that Kathy Griffin was raining dollar bills down on the crowd wearing nothing but a bikini top and shorts in the biting wind. Anderson Cooper looked nonplussed, but everyone else was laughing hysterically and grabbing for the money.
A bill floated down in an air current above them, and Dan jumped and grabbed it.
“A souvenir!” he mouthed to Phil.
Phil rolled his eyes and laughed.
Suddenly, the crowd turned in unison and faced the ball, which had started to drop.
“Fifty-nine! Fifty-eight! Fifty-seven!” the crowd chanted loudly in unison.
Dan and Phil were beaming as they joined in, yelling along as loudly as they could.
Phil slipped his right hand into Dan’s left and Dan gave him firm squeeze and did not let go.
It had been quite a year for the two of them, touring across not just England or America, but the entire world. They had met thousands of people, performed for tens of thousands of fans, and had had countless experiences that they never could have imagined having even a few years ago.
The tour had had its taxing moments as well, with Phil’s illness and brief hospitalization from the flu and exhaustion, and Dan’s constant struggle with his depression. For two introverts, having to be “on” all the time in front of the crew had been fun, yet also exhausting. Most importantly, they had also missed their alone time together. Slipping away had been difficult, especially while keeping up the “we are just best friends” ruse in front of the any fans who might be around.
Phil squeezed Dan’s hand back and continued counting down.
“Thirty-four! Thirty-three! Thirty-two!”
The rehearsals had bonded them even closer than they had already been, and that was something neither had thought was possible. As perfectionists, they had rehearsed past the point of exhaustion day after day for weeks at a time. Downtime between shows was spent rehearsing small bits from the show and tweaking them to make them better. They were looking forward to their final shows, and yet, at the same time, yearned for the day when it was all over, and it was just the two of them sitting on the sofa and browsing the internet in silence.
“Fourteen! Thirteen! Twelve!”
Neither let go of the other’s hand to grab their phone. They wanted to live the moment in real time. They stole a glance at each other and smiled, then turned back and counted down the final seconds with the rest of the crowd, all joined together for this precious moment of reflection, unity, and hope.
“Three! Two! One!”
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Dan and Phil shouted, and then, without a thought, Phil turned to Dan and kissed him on the lips.
Dan returned the kiss and then pulled back and smiled.
“Are you crying?” Phil mouthed.
“Yeah,” Dan mouthed, laughing and wiping the tear from his cheek.
“We did it!” Phil yelled into Dan’s ear.
“We did it!” Dan returned, but softly, to himself, and as if he could not believe it.
The year behind them had been an adventure, but also a challenge, especially for Dan. Going for months without therapy had been difficult. He still had episodes of depression and without the therapist to help talk him through them, he had had to rely on Phil to be his confidant when he felt down.
They had shared long talks in the gameroom in the back of the bus, with Dan pouring out his feelings and sharing his fears. Phil listened and empathized, stroking Dan’s back and offering words of encouragement. Other than situational depressive episodes, Phil had never experienced full blown clinical depression, and it was hard for him to know what to say. Nevertheless, he did his best and Dan was grateful to him for his kindness and comfort.
The journey had not been an easy one for Phil either. With the carsickness, headaches, and stage fright, he was often exhausted and nauseous. The meet and greets, though he enjoyed them, took a lot out of him. For an introvert, having to act like an extrovert drained much of his resources. Fortunately, Dan was always there beside him to energize him with jokes and good-natured ribbing. They were each other’s support system, and even though Dan did not believe in soulmates, he believed Phil was a gift to him from the universe.
Phil was jumping up and down to see the ball and Dan looked at him and smiled. This six-foot, two-inch tall man in this thirties was acting like a young child on Christmas morning and Dan just leaned back a bit and took in every moment of it with a warm grin.
It was then that Dan reached into his pocket for his phone to capture the moment and found it was not there.
“Shit!’ he mumbled. He let go of Phil’s hand and reached into his other pockets and found nothing. “Shit, shit, shit!”
Phil turned around and saw the look of concern on Dan’s face.
“What?” he mouthed.
“My phone!” Dan mouthed back, holding his hand up to his face to mimic the missing device.
“Oh, no!” Phil said. “Don’t move!”
Phil somehow squeezed down and made space to kneel and began searching the confetti filled street near Dan’s feet for the missing iPhone.
Suddenly, Dan remembered putting the phone in his pocket and then removing the glove. It must have fallen out then. There. There back a hundred yards and a hundred thousand people away.
Dan pulled Phil up by the hood of his coat and leaned over to shout in his ear, “I dropped it back there!” he yelled, indicating the direction of the hotel.
Phil’s mouth dropped open.
Dan just stared.
This was bad.
“Maybe the confetti is cushioning it?” Phil suggested, hopefully into Dan’s left ear.
Dan got quiet and very still. Phil knew from experience that his best friend’s mood was dropping quickly and that he had to act fast.
“I'll find it!” Phil said, grabbing Dan’s hand and pulling him roughly through the throng towards the hotel.
Dan followed along numbly, both emotionally and physically as he bumped into celebrating people.
“What a way to begin the new year,” Dan said to himself. “I deserve this. This is just what should have happened.”
Phil kept pulling as Dan sluggishly followed along, half-heartedly shrugging apologies at those who gave him dirty looks.
Dan stopped at the approximate spot where the they had stood to look up at the hotel room and refused to be pulled further forward. Phil stopped and turned around, looked at Dan’s face, and then dropped to his knees to search the filthy street.
Dan looked around and then knelt down, feeling hopeless and depressed.
He saw Phil whip out his phone and make a call.
“Phil,” Dan yelled, we won’t be able to hear it. It’s gone. Just forget about it.”
Suddenly, a light appeared about three feet to the right of Dan’s left foot. His jaw dropped and he swooped down and brushed the confetti and trash off his intact iPhone.
“Oh my God!” he said, standing up too quickly and getting dizzy. “Oh my God! Phil Lester! You found it! In New York!”
Phil grabbed Dan by the shoulders and shook him as he jumped up and down with joy. “Yeet!”
“Yeet!” Dan joined in as he jumped up and down in sync with Phil.
Phil dragged Dan back to the hotel, hand in hand, and they took their private elevator back to their suite. When the silently opened the door, Marianne was sitting on the sofa looking out the window.
They boys froze.
“So,” she said, speaking to their reflection in the window, “You decided it would be a good idea to sneak out anyway.”
Dan and Phil glanced at each other.
“Uh, yeah, we just went downstairs for a, uh, for …”
“To watch the ball drop in the middle of New York City,” Marianne finished for Dan.
“Yes,” Phil said. “Look, we’re sorry if we worried you, but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and everything was fine!”
“It was Phil’s idea,” Dan said, pushing Phil forward towards the sofa.
“What?! No!” Phil exclaimed.
Marianne laughed. “Oh boys,” she sighed, “I’m just glad you’re alright. You could have been mobbed or trampled or robbed out there and,” she said as she stood and looked around, “and you’re soaked! Get out of those wet clothes and into a warm shower! You’ll catch your death of cold!”
Happy to have dodged the lecture they deserved, they bolted to their separate rooms and shed their snow and confetti-covered clothes. Dan stepped into his shower and let the whole room steam up as the hot water trickled down his chest. Suddenly, he felt a cool breeze and before he could turn, he felt two arms embrace him.
“Mmm,” Dan said, turning around to return the embrace.
“Happy New Year’s Day, Bear!” Phil said as he kissed Dan on the cheek.
“Happy New Year, Philly!” Dan replied as he snuggled his head down on Phil’s shoulder.
The steam rose around them as they shared another, deep, romantic kiss.
It would be a wonderful new year as long as they were together.
They both just knew it.