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The screen is black for a while as somebody fumbles with the camera. Then there’s the muffled sound of a bitten-off curse, and the camera pulls back to focus on a grinning man with curly black hair, waving excitedly at the camera.
“Hellooo viewers!” he crows, looking very much like an overexcited puppy dog. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and those who don’t identify as either, welcome! We’re here today to answer the age-old question—is Enjolras really perfect?”
The camera pans out to reveal a familiar recording studio, with Enjolras sitting behind the mic, a pair of headphones nestled in his hair. The expression on his face is equal parts miffed and amused—it is a look his fans have come to know as the ‘annoyed kitten’.
“Anyway,” Courfeyrac continues blithely, “for those who don’t know, we’ve never once been able to get Enjy baby here—”
“—Courf, no, that’s terrible –”
“—to sing at our karaoke parties. Not once. Can you believe that?” He waves a hand in the general direction of the recording booth, where the ‘annoyed kitten’ look has somehow transitioned into the ‘look that shows you the abyss’. “I mean, come on. This is clearly the face of a man who can belt out Broadway solos at the drop of a hat, and you know it.”
The camera shakes with silent laughter.
“But today—” here, Courfeyrac’s smile becomes slightly more manic, his gestures more animated, “today is different. Today our genius Grantaire here—”
The camera shifts to film Grantaire, waving hello from his place behind the camera, before the focus turns back to Enjolras, stewing in his misery even as Courfeyrac blabbers on.
“—somehow, somehow, got Enjolras to agree to a dare. So guess what our little angel has to do now?” he singsongs.
In his booth, Enjolras has resorted to hiding his face in his hands.
“Do I at least get to choose the song?” he whines.
“Nope,” says Courfeyrac, popping the p. “You’ll probably choose the national anthem or some shit, where’s the fun in that?”
“What if I don’t know the song you pick?”
“Trust me,” comes his voice from off-screen, “You will.”
The studio is quiet.
“Meanie,” Enjolras grumbles.
Courfeyrac cackles loudly and moves about the studio; presently music begins to play.
Speechless, the blond blinks owlishly at the camera before groaning again and tipping his head backwards. “Seriously? Seriously? Courf, why would you—”
The key that cues him to start singing must play, because Enjolras breaks off abruptly and starts to sing.
“The trouble with schools is,” he starts, glaring at what must be Grantaire, shoulders heaving with silent mirth behind the visible constraints of the screen, “they always try to teach the wrong lesson.”
“Dun dun dun,” hums Courfeyrac.
This must be the grumpiest Fiyero anyone has ever seen.
“Believe me,” and here his lips curve upwards with a sardonic twist, and Enjolras starts to smile as he drags out the last note, “I’ve been kicked out of enough of them to know.”
As the song continues, his expressions grow more and more animated, and soon enough he’s somehow—non-verbally, in what seems to be sign language—roped both Courfeyrac and Grantaire in as his back-up singers. There’s a hushed, whispered conversation, which you manage to catch snippets of (“No, I’m not going to be Galinda, I’ll break the glass—” “Well I can’t be Galinda, Enj already wants to kill me—”), then the focus is back on Enjolras, looking very amused as he says;
“So! What’s the most swankified place in town?”
“That would be the Ozdust Ballroom!” Grantaire yells in a mock-falsetto, and—mother of god—Enjolras winks at him.
“Sounds perfect,” he drawls, and leaps right back into the song.
“Let’s go down to the Ozdust Ballroom—” is he gyrating his hips “—we’ll meet there later tonight—” he is gyrating his hips “—we can dance till it’s liiiight—” nothing else matters because ENJOLRAS. HIPS. GYRATING.
A sort of half-choked, half-strangled noise escapes from Grantaire’s throat. There’s a distinct snigger from Courfeyrac; somehow, you get the feeling that he’s nudging Grantaire with his elbow behind the camera.
Whatever has happened, Enjolras doesn’t seem to have noticed it.
“It’s just liiiife,” he sings, clear as a bell, “so keep dancing throoouuuugh!”
*
“There you have it, folks,” Courfeyrac says drily. “The verdict is in. Enjy here is, in fact, perfect. Who’da thunk, huh?”
There’s a faint dusting of pink on Enjolras’ cheeks as he pulls off the headphones and steps out of the booth.
“So Enjolras, what are your comments on this fascinating new development? How long have you been hiding this—this quintessential part of yourself from us?” He drapes one long arm along his shoulders in an attempt to pull him into an affectionate one-armed hug; Enjolras shakes it off.
“Nope. Nope, I am not doing this right now, give me some time to recover.” The lithe blond drops into a nearby chair, flinging an arm over his face in an extremely Courfeyrac-esque move. Who would’ve thought that Enjolras could be embarrassed?
“Courf, cut the guy some slack.” The camera tilts sharply downwards, and for a brief half-minute the screen is treated to a high-definition close-up of Grantaire’s ratty old sneakers. “We can take it in another video and I’ll edit the two together.”
“Thank you.” Something rustles in the background. “See, Courf, this is why I like Grantaire, he respects my boundaries.”
“I introduce you two, and the first thing you do is gang up on me. Dicks.” At the corner of the screen, Courfeyrac’s long slender fingers pull his phone out of his pocket. “Anyway, we’ve got like, an hour more in this studio tops, so we’ll have to finish it up ‘fore then. Your cousin likes me, Enjolras, but not that much.”
“How do you even know Raphael?”
“Your lovely twin, of course,” Courfeyrac scoffs. “How else?”
Silence descends. The camera returns to its previous position; in the corner sits Enjolras, hunched over, face hidden in his hands. The phrase ‘oh my god’ falls from his lips successively, like a litany of prayers.
“So,” says Courfeyrac at last, “have you ever considered a career in musical theatre?”
“Just shut up, Courf,” Enjolras mutters, flinging his red hoodie haphazardly in his direction. Miraculously, it lands square on his face, and the brunette squawks loudly as he fumbles to get it off.
“Seriously, you really should though,” comes Grantaire’s voice. The camera is jostled for a second, maybe more, then it’s left lying on its side on the table, and the green-clad man walks into view. “I mean, that was pretty great—musical theatre could be like, your third back-up plan or something.”
Voice muffled by 100% pre-washed cotton, “Wait, he has two back-up plans? Why did I not know about this? What’s the second one?”
“Social justice blogger,” says R offhandedly. The annoyed kitten expression returns for half a second. “No, but you should really sing more, you’re good at it.”
Enjolras’ cheeks flush lightly for the two seconds they remain on screen.
“Nah, I’m not that great,” he stammers, ducking off-camera to retrieve a water bottle. “I haven’t had proper training since—in a while. Since in a while.”
“Come on, I’ve heard you in the shower, but that was nothing compared to this. You didn’t even want to sing at first!”
A moment of horrified silence settles on the room. “Wait, what? You heard?”
“Your shower solos?” Grantaire turns; the camera catches sight of a shit-eating grin stretched across his face. “You were pretty loud, you know.”
“Oh god.”
“You could have turned it down a ‘lil bit at some points, I definitely learned more than I wanted to know—”
“Oh god.”
“Pretty sure you belted out Let it Go at one point—”
“Shit.”
“But hey, if you can do that Idina Menzel high note thing, you can sing anything!”
Blinking blearily, Courfeyrac stumbles back on screen, face finally free of the crimson menace. “Guys, is the camera still running?”
Grantaire’s head whips around so fast you’d think he’d get whiplash. Then he’s on his feet and striding back towards the camera, picking it up and cursing as he checks the power switch.
There’s a final, resigned “Oh my god.” from Enjolras.
“Shit,” Grantaire mutters, running a hair through his thick black curls. A close-up of his face is the last thing to grace the screen. “Remind me to edit all of this out.”
Comments:
shutuptaire 8 hours ago
YOU UPLOADED THE FUCKING UNCUT VERSION
reply • 500 likes
shutuptaire 8 hours ago
COURFEYRAC YOU LIL SHIT
reply • 10 likes
shutuptaire 8 hours ago
GET BACK HERE
reply • 2 likes
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Roxanne Basile 6 hours ago
Omg he sings like an angelllllll *o*
reply • 5 likes
therealestcourfeyrac 2 hours ago
we call him angejolras for a reason yknow.
/ba-dum-tsss/
reply • 50 likes
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immortansenpaiwitnessme 6 hours ago
Of course it’s r who gets enj to sing on camera. Of course.
;)
#entaire
reply • 92 likes
enjolraswithashotgun 6 hours ago
did you guys see at about 6.10 when the galinda-fiyero conversation starts istg he was FLIRTING WITH HIS EYES JUST SHOOT ME
reply • 96 likes
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enjshair 6 hours ago
Like this comment if you’d watch enjolras perform on broadway
reply • 602 likes
Aristodeme Alexandris 6 hours ago
Not gon lie I want to see him as fiyero just to see his ass in those tights
I mean it’s alr established he can sing so
reply • 601 likes
Eli Zhang 5 hours ago
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN THOUGH!!!!
reply • 559 likes
enjolraswithashotgun 5 hours ago
how have none of you mentioned GABE FROM NEXT TO NORMAL smh
reply • 429 likes
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Elliot Frost 4 hours ago
what’s this about singing let it go in the shower
damn it i want to see enj snowcastling
reply • 36 likes
Rajya Kavarai 3 hours ago
courf just forces r to be galinda i’m wheezing
reply • 26 likes
harrypotterfan69 2 hours ago
I’m loving the side of enj that comes out to play whenever r is involved omg look at him he’s a precious little kitten
reply • 10 likes
fredlived94 2 hours ago
imagine r as elphaba
reply • 60 likes
enjshair 2 hours ago
blithe smile lithe limb
blah blah blah blah
gold hair with a gentle curl...
;)
reply • 70 likes
therealestcourfeyrac 2 hours ago
+shutuptaire u shld totes do a cover 10/10 wld reccommend
reply • 96 likes
shutuptaire 2 hours ago
COURFEYRAC I SWEAR TO GOD
reply • 74 likes
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RRRRRyareadykids 2 hours ago
GRANTAIRE LISTENS TO ENJOLRAS SING IN THE SHOWER PASS IT ON
#entaire #showersolos #canon
reply • 307 likes
enjshair 2 hours ago
do you think they have #showerduets
reply • 270 likes
shutuptaire 2 hours ago
+therealestcourfeyrac you come back here and take responsibility for what you have done
reply • 310 likes
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