Work Text:
“Pathetic”
“P A T H E T I C” Chengcheng echoed back a louder whisper as they hid behind a pillar that did no justice in trying to camouflage them. They had been ‘hiding’ for approximately 5 minutes; painfully witnessing the most awkward flirting session by their Science teacher, who also, unfortunately [in Justin’s most disappointed voice] is Justin’s still-single-but-he’s-trying-from-his-mother’s-side uncle, Mr Bi Wenjun.
“By the looks of it, he might and most likely about to piss his pants” Chengcheng commented before Justin elbowed him, earning a groan from the former right after. Justin kept his eyes fixated on the older man before he averted his focus to their infamous Mandarin teacher and Cheerleading coach, Mr Zhu, who also turned out to be shit in Mandarin. But God does wonders to have him to be good to look at, so it’s tolerable to have him teach.
“Didn’t Wenjun said he just wanted to ask Mr Zhu to lunch?” Chengcheng questioned before Justin huffed out in annoyance before turning his head towards his best friend with a glare, hushing the taller that was leeching on Justin’s back. Chengcheng pulled himself back slightly and raised his hands up to a surrender position, expressing his dramatic hurtful expression before he gleefully latches himself back to Justin.
The awkward fidgeting of Wenjun standing and rubbing his nape for nth time is getting on Justin’s nerves. He turned to look at his best friend that was busy picking on his fingernails, God knows why, and hastily tugged him by the arm, marching towards the teachers and cleared his throat, loudly, in the most obnoxious way possible.
“Hello Mr Zhu, can I have a moment with Mr Bi?” Justin plastered a forced smile and snatched Wenjun’s arm, not waiting for any confirmation before he practically dragged him away. Zhengting only smiled slightly as he waved Wenjun goodbye and Wenjun waving back with a dreamy smile plastered on his face. Chengcheng just tagged along before he yelled out ‘sayonara’ to the giggling teacher that was left alone near the teacher’s office.
Justin had the three of them cramped in the janitor’s closet because it was their ‘secret hideout’. The three towers had a problem in trying to stand in the small room, so they squatted into a tiny circle with Justin as the leader of the ‘cult’. Before Wenjun could break the silence, Justin shot him a glare, taking a hella deep breath and exhaling it slowly.
“Okay, what the fuck was that?” Justin expressed as he kept his eyes trained on the older male.
“What was what-“
“THAT! That awkward flirting?? What is wrong with you?? You’re 27 and you still can’t flirt for shit and it’s killing me”
Wenjun looked offended and jutted his bottom lip slightly, taking his nephew’s words at heart. Justin tried to ignore the kicked puppy look his uncle slash teacher gave him before he proceeded to lay out a piece of paper that was filled with random numbers and doodles that was poorly erased on the floor.
“Alright, Operation-Help-Wenjun-Get-Laid-“ Justin starts to scribble on the paper with a pencil before he was abruptly stopped by Wenjun’s slender fingers.
“Hey-“
Justin just shot him a look before giving in, sighing as he crossed out the initial name of the operation.
“What about... Operation Biting? You know, ‘Bi’ as in Bi Wenjun, and ‘Ting’ as in Zheng ting ? So, it’s both appropriate and nasty in English?” Chengcheng suggested. Wenjun was about to reject the title when Justin interjects, agreeing almost instantly.
“Then, Operation Biting is a go!”
Attempt #1: Lunch Break Date
“Okay let’s go slow ya know? A get-to-know session maybe? So first, let’s start with making a lunch box, like the ones in cheesy romantic animes and share it with him during lunch? Make it with your whole heart and start out with simple 20 questions. Then, you can ask him out for another ‘date’ like movies, dinner, or maybe a motel-“
“I think a picnic would be nice. Mr Zhu looks like the type that enjoys being outdoors.” Chengcheng interrupted. Justin’s face lit up at the idea, patting Chengcheng on his back before nodding.
“Something mediocre and simple, I like it.”
Justin went ahead and rummaged through Wenjun’s pantry, taking out random ingredients before tossing them to the back for Wenjun and Chengcheng to (successfully) catch.
Wenjun just stared at the mess that unfolded before his eyes. The two boys were burning several fried eggs on a plate, the rice was undercooked, and the ‘special sauce’ that they splashed on the rice looks oddly familiar to just normal soy sauce.
They looked super proud of their creation, so Wenjun didn’t have the heart to scold them for messing up his kitchen. Chengcheng bravely took a bite of the ‘food’ before he started choking, spitting back out the contents in his mouth before rushed to chug down a glass of water.
The two looked at each other before slumping their shoulders in disappointment. Wenjun just shook his head before smiling gently.
“Hey, you know how Zhengting just moved back from Seoul? He’s quite fond of Korean cuisines, so maybe I’ll make him some Japchae and a few rice balls?” Wenjun swiftly moved around the kitchen, preparing the said dishes before placing it into 2 lunch boxes, pink and yellow coloured respectively.
Justin and Chengcheng were astonished at Wenjun’s craftsmanship. He was also pretty sure that Chengcheng was drooling at the sight before he placed the lids on to cover the boxes.
Justin snapped out from his daze and Chengcheng pouted, stomach grumbling at the hunger after ‘cooking’ for hours. Wenjun let out a light laugh and served the dishes on the table, initially had made extra on purpose for the duo. The way both of their faces lit up at the sight of food being placed on the dining table warmed Wenjun’s heart.
The next morning, it was almost lunch break. Justin and Chengcheng grew super anxious and fidgeted in their sits. They were in Zhengting’s class, so they didn’t have to bother running around and hunt for the soon-to-be couple.
Right when the bell rang, they hurriedly packed their things (not that they have any on their desks) and chucked it in their backpacks, making a bee-line to ‘discreetly’ follow Zhengting.
When Zhengting almost made his way to the teacher’s office, trouble came – or that’s what Justin addressed it.
Mr Wang Ziyi, their infamous PE teacher was making his way to Zhengting.
“Cheng, look, Mr Wang at 12 o’clock. And hold on- Is that- a lunch box??” Justin gasped and looked at his best friend. Chengcheng nodded, a mutual signal for them to initiate the ‘block-every-intruder-intruding-biting’.
And so, they ran full charge at Ziyi.
…
The initial plan was to knock both Ziyi and the lunchbox from his hands, but the latter was quick to dodge, making them both ran into each other, bumping into each other’s heads before falling off their feet. Ziyi quickly helped them to stand and gave them a warning for running in the hallways. Ziyi gave them an earnest smile before heading towards Zhengting, successfully bringing the fairy teacher out with him instead.
The duo looked at each other in defeat.
Looks like the first plan: failed.
Attempt #2: Picnic Date
“-and he just came, with all his mighty glory, swept Zhengting away from your supposed lunch date!” Justin rambled as Chengcheng nodded at every exaggerated sentence that his best friend spouted. Wenjun laughed lightly as he nodded along. This made Justin slightly agitated.
“Hello? Earth to Wenjun? Why aren’t you jealous? Mr Wang is a threat to this blossoming relationship of yours with your one and true love!” Justin expressed in a slight angered tone.
“I asked him out for the picnic date”
“You managed to ask him for a picnic date? How??” Justin said out loudly, making Wenjun flinch slightly at the sudden increased of tone. Wenjun rubbed his nape and let out an awkward laugh.
“Well never mind that. Now we can proceed with our second plan!”
On the very day, it was a miracle at how Justin and Chengcheng managed to persuade Wenjun into wearing a full suit and tie in a 35°C sunny day, but he did. Completed with a bouquet of vibrant ruby red roses and a large picnic basket filled with myriads of dishes that could feed 10 people.
“You look great! You’re good to go!” Justin beamed, showcasing his front teeth, proud for being able to force Wenjun to cook extra, in case Zhengting was picky with food. Chengcheng gave him two thumbs up before pushing the taller out, simultaneously shouting ‘Jiayou’ before slamming the door close.
When they made sure Wenjun left, they looked at each other mischievously and nodding at each other again.
Disguised with matching of black face masks, sunglasses, black hoodies, and binoculars, they set out to ‘watch out’ for Wenjun, making sure there were no more interruptions for this date.
It was all going well, and Justin was quite happy with it.
“Stupid Wenjun, as if removing his blazer and tie and sweating like that will attract Zhengting,” Justin muttered under his breath as he zoomed his binoculars more, focusing on Zhengting that was smiling brightly. A smug smile appeared on Justin’s face.
“Looks like this plan is a success, Cheng” Justin turned his head to look at his best friend. But he was gone. Justin looked around as he furrowed his brows together, squinting his eyes to look around for his missing partner-in-crime. He then used his binoculars again.
And that’s when he noticed. A hand was reaching out for the sandwich from behind the tree that Wenjun was leaning his back against. Justin zoomed in to see the culprit.
It was Chengcheng.
Justin was bewildered at the discovery.
“What the fuck- Fan Chengcheng!” he whispered loudly and facepalmed so hard, he could feel his brain rattle. Justin sighed and sneakily made his way closer to the oblivious couple. When he arrived behind Chengcheng, he did not expect him to scream out loud when he placed his hand on the food thief’s shoulder.
Which obviously blew their cover.
Zhengting smiled when he saw the duo. Wenjun too gave them the same sincere smile and offered them the food he brought.
So, at the end of the day, they head home, with full stomachs, disappointed but satisfied.
Second plan: Failed.
Attempt #3: Night Walk
“This is the greatest opportunity yet!” Justin screamed out as he holds out a flyer in his hands, pushing it to Wenjun’s hands.
“The camping trip...?” Wenjun hesitantly and questionably asked.
“Yes! This is the chance we needed! We all know that there’ll be a night walk! So, you gotta have to pair up with Zhengting.” As usual, Chengcheng automatically agreed with the idea before they start to plan things around 2 weeks before the trip. Wenjun just smiled and nodded along, listening to their ideas.
The day of the trip finally arrived, and the first ever plan was to make sure Wenjun and Zhengting will be sitting together on the bus. So, what they did was to keep cornering them together.
The gentle smiles and small waves that were exchanged between the two every time they ‘bumped’ into each other made Justin sick. It was almost time for them to ride the bus and they successfully made them ride the same bus. The duo brofisted before happily headed inside the bus.
But their plan didn’t really go as plan. Mr Cai, Goddamn Cai Xukun, was sitting beside Zhengting while Wenjun was sitting at the opposite side of the bus. Justin marched up to Xukun with his best resting-bitch-face he could manage.
“That’s not your seat,” Justin said straightforwardly, a slight angered tone was laced in his words, expressing it to the English teacher.
“Uh, yes it is” Xukun deadpanned before shoo-ing them both away. Justin stomped his way to the back of the bus with Chengcheng trailing behind him.
Throughout the whole ride, Xukun was sure someone was shooting daggers at the back of his head.
And the occurrence of ‘bad luck’ continued to follow Xukun whenever he was close to Zhengting. But that didn’t stop the young teacher to accompany Zhengting wherever he went. Justin and Chengcheng had used every tips and trick in the book to make Xukun go away but it didn’t seem to work. They ‘accidentally’ pushed Xukun into mud, they ‘unintentionally’ set Xukun’s shoes on fire, and even extinguished Xukun’s campfire ‘by mistake’. Nothing was working, Xukun was still around Zhengting and it was pissing Justin off.
Making Wenjun and Zhengting walk together for the night walk was their last resort to make Biting a reality.
The night falls and all of them sat around the campfire. Instructions of the walk were later given by Mr You, explaining that they shouldn’t take anything that wasn’t ‘theirs’.
“Every 2-3 students will be accompanied with 1-2 supervisors and prefects” Mr You announced loud and clear. That was the green light.
The plan was that they will grab Wenjun and Zhengting, making them a team of four, and Justin and Chengcheng will ‘disappear’ just to leave them alone. Zhengting will then lean close to Wenjun, maybe even hold hands as they try to find the ‘missing’ Justin and Chengcheng. But they weren’t missing, they will be following them from the back. And Wenjun will confess his undying love for Zhengting as the kiss under the moonlight. This plan had been thought through and researched by numerous of shoujo mangas and manhwas. Justin and Chengcheng were 100% sure this will work.
But it couldn’t even be executed. Why? Well, let’s say they didn’t discuss who was grabbing who, so they both ran and grabbed Zhengting. Wenjun was quickly snatched away by a group of obnoxious whiny girls, which left them with the clueless Mandarin teacher.
Justin grumbled disappointedly, kicking the stones as he dragged his feet along the trail. Chengcheng kept sticking at his side as Zhengting followed them from behind.
“Our plan: RUINED!” Justin sighed out loudly.
“What plan?” Zhengting leaned closer at the saddened teens, humming softly as he calmly walked through the trail with them.
“Our plan to make you and Mr Bi fall in love with each other,” Chengcheng replied sadly. Zhengting smiled as he continued to follow the two best friends from behind.
“Oh, you were helping me to get together with him?”
“If it wasn’t obvious enough, then yeah” Justin stated; matter-of-factly.
“Oh, well but, you do know that we’re already together, right?”
“…..”
“….”
Justin stopped his tracks and snapped his head back to face Zhengting, gaze almost piercing the latter before he looked back at his best friend. Chengcheng was busy registering what he just heard before widening his eyes, letting out a dramatic gasp in disbelief, placing his palm on his chest and looked at his teacher that had his head tilted slightly, confusion written all over his face.
“Wait- what??” Justin and Chengcheng said in unison.
“B-but what about the bento box from Mr Wang?
“Oh, he owed me his homemade dumplings after our little dance match.”
“What about Mr Cai trailing you everywhere you go??”
“Xukun? He’s my little step brother! He can be a bit over-protective at times, but don’t worry too much. He’s pretty chill with Wenjun”
Chengcheng’s mouth hung open, unbelieving what he had heard.
“Then what about that ring???” Justin pointed almost animatedly to the silvery red rose design on the latter’s ring finger, spreading his legs in a ‘fight me’ stance.
The best friends swore he saw their teacher’s face grew pink-ish red, shyly playing with the ring as he had a stupid grin painted on his face. He cleared his throat slightly before looking back up to the two dumbfounded students.
“He proposed”
“What?? When??”
“After the picnic date that we had when you both came over to help us finish the food.”
Justin feels misled, deceived, betrayed . How dare he, Bi Wenjun, his dweeb of an uncle, his forever lonely ass, managed to score the pretty (loud) teacher, Zhu Zhengting, even before he decided to help him. He even proposed and NOT tell his favourite nephew about this?
The audacity! Justin just couldn’t believe it!
The minute they arrived back at the campsite, Justin had his wanna-fight-face on. Once he spotted Wenjun, he smacked and kicked the latter, making Zhengting let out a laugh, witnessing the little boy’s tantrum.
Wenjun hissed at the stinging pain before he looked at an angry looking Justin, then at a hurtful looking Chengcheng, then to his giggling lover that tried his best not to laugh out too much.
“How dare you? Not inform me? That you guys were dating, and you asked his hand in marriage, without telling me??” Justin was clearly upset about this matter. He thought he had a special, no secret relationship with his beloved uncle. Oh, how he was fooled.
“Wenjun told me that he’d been trying to tell you guys, but he didn’t have the heart to since you both looked super pumped in making things work between us,” Zhengting intervened, lacing his fingers with his fiancé.
“How long has it been?”
“About 2 years.”
“You had 2 years to tell me, but you didn’t??”
Another smack on the arm echoed through the campsite before Justin was about to throw another tantrum.
“I told Wenjun not to tell! I didn’t want to be known as an ‘Uncle Stealer’. Please don’t get mad at Wenjun, he really did appreciate your efforts, especially for the picnic date.”
“I couldn’t have done it without both of you” Wenjun expressed before hugging the troublemaker duo. Justin as not buying it, he won’t be fooled anymore.
“I’m still upset, you know”
“What if I treat you both ice cream?”
“Deal!”
And it took just that to make them plaster their smug expressions, cheering at their success. Little did they know the consequences they have to go through after their little ‘operation’.
Justin and Chengcheng had their heads forcefully bowed to Ziyi and Xukun by Wenjun before they head home from the trip.
“We’re sorry for almost headbutting you, Mr Wang. We’re sorry for burning your shoes, Mr Cai.” They apologised simultaneously. Both teachers forgave them and were slightly amused at the reasoning behind the whole chaos.
“So, it was all for them to get together? Didn’t you know, almost the entire school kinda knew even though they tried to make it ‘a secret’. Let’s just say they’re horrible secret keepers.” Xukun rolled his eyes as he explained.
Justin looked at Chengcheng before the latter shot him the same look.
“I’m so betrayed?? And I feel so dumb?? Me? Justin?? Not being able to detect these buffoons had already had their asses struck by cupid- I can’t believe this”
“I can’t believe this either. This is the first time we didn’t notice these subtle things.”
“Whatever it was. Thank you for accepting Zhengting and me.” Wenjun offered a smile before looking up to see Zhengting waving at him. Wenjun excused himself and jogged towards the smiling male, intertwining their fingers together almost instantly before pressing a gentle kiss on the shorter male’s forehead.
Justin gagged slightly and Chengcheng ‘ngaw’-ed at the sight. But they were both glad that things worked out.
Operation Biting is a success.