Chapter Text
It’s become a tradition that whenever Piper gets a crush on someone, she writes them a love letter. Not a real love letter, not a letter that she’ll ever actually send. She writes a letter so she can put her feelings into words to better understand them; so she can get rid of her crush as soon as possible.
The letters are usually sweet, but to the point. Hey, I like you. You’re a nice person. I like how you laugh. We have fun in class together. Never have any of Piper’s letters been truly romantic. She doesn’t think she can risk her heart like that.
August
Drew is being a little shit and Piper can’t take it anymore.
“She’s going to leave whether you get off your butt or not. Wouldn’t you rather see her off than sulk in your room?” Drew just turns up her music, blasting it loud enough that Piper can hear it through Drew’s headphones.
She just had to throw a fit the night before Silena’s supposed to leave for college. In Paris. About a million miles away from Piper and Drew. Okay, Piper can understand why her sister is being a little shit. But she shouldn’t take it out on Silena when she’s going to be gone for months.
“If you get in the car and don’t whine, I’ll make Dad stop for ice cream on the way home,” Piper reasons. Drew somehow hears her and takes off her headphones. She nods, pulling a sweatshirt over her head. Ah, bribery.
When Silena had announced she was accepted by a fancy college in France, Piper had wanted to cry, beg her not to go. Silena was Piper’s best friend. She taught her how to do pirouettes without getting dizzy, she introduced her to their mom’s favorite old Japanese dramas. She couldn’t just leave.
But Piper is not one to make a scene, so she let Drew do it for her.
“Okay, but who’s going to help me pick out makeup? We both know Pipes is useless with makeup, and Dad doesn’t trust me with money anymore.” Her reasoning was so Drew, so herself that Piper had wanted to laugh.
They go downstairs and Piper wants to ask where Charlie is. He should be coming with them, breakup be dammed. Apparently you can’t stay friends with your ex even when you’ve been together for almost two years.
The ride to the airport is emotional and frustrating. Drew still won’t talk to Silena, Dad keeps making wrong turns (though maybe it’s on purpose), and Piper stupidly left her phone at home. The radio somehow thinks it’s acceptable to play songs about missing someone which makes everything so much worse. Piper might actually cry.
JFK is packed with people and Drew keeps elbowing everyone. She also doesn’t let go of Silena’s hand.
“How am I possibly going to survive junior year without you?” Piper asks. Silena laughs, wipes her eyes.
“You know, this could be a good chance to make new friends,” Silena says. Piper shakes her head, responds with a million nos. She’s fine where she is; she has Leo... Sometimes Percy and Annabeth. She always has Charlie, before Silena dated him and especially after. Make new friends? What kind of bullshit is that?
Flight 2901 to Paris, France is now boarding. Flight 2901 to Paris, France is now boarding.
Piper sighs, sad and defeated. Silena has tears rolling down her cheeks. Drew goes on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around Silena’s neck. Piper joins their hug, rests her chin on Drew’s head.
“Call us every day,” Dad says. Silena nods, mouths ‘will do’. Piper knows she’s getting choked up. She doesn’t even realize she’s crying until Silena has to let them go.
Last call for flight 2901 to Paris, France.
And just like that, her best friend is gone.
“Can I borrow your boots for tomorrow?” Piper asks. She’s making lunches, not really trusting herself. Is Drew allergic to peanuts, or is that Dad? Or is it her?
“The ankle ones? Will they fit you?” Drew asks from her perch on the kitchen counter. Piper shrugs, not knowing if Drew was simply asking or making fun of her foot size. They should fit; Piper hasn’t grown since the eighth grade.
“Silena left that cute cardigan that Grandpa Tom bought her, so I thought I’d wear that with your boots.” Drew cackles, actually cackles, like she’s a fucking witch. Which means Piper just said something stupid.
“Those boots definitely do not go with that sweater.” She lets out one more cackle for good measure. “How are you possibly going to survive college without my fashion advice?” Piper rolls her eyes. She doesn’t have the best fashion sense, but she likes what she likes.
Piper puts the sandwich that hopefully won’t kill anyone in her family in the fridge. Honestly how did Silena do it? How was she so thoughtful and kind that she remembered everyone’s favorites? Piper doesn’t even know what her favorite food is.
“Don’t worry, I’ll just send you Snapchats of my terrible Hawaiian shirts and ask you to rate it.”
“I’m glad you’re finally aware of how much those shirts fucking suck.”
“Drew, language,” Dad says, balancing a bunch of dirty plates and a mug in his hands. Drew’s ears go red and Piper can see her go stiff.
Their relationship with their father is a weird one. Tristan McLean is a good father, but also an absent one. Sure, he was there for Silena’s soccer games back in middle school, and he went to all of Piper’s choir shows when she was in fifth grade. But he’s not there for the small things, the everyday occurrences. He’s busy, they know. But he should know that Drew’s been cursing up a storm since seventh grade.
“Sorry, Dad,” Drew mumbles. She jumps down from the counter, fixes her hair to cover her ears.
Dad puts the dishes in the sink, mutters something about dealing with them later.
“You ready for school tomorrow?” he asks. Piper nods, not ready to go on her spiel of how everyone at her school is fake, and she can’t do this without Silena, and Drew shouldn’t be growing up this fast.
She loves her father, there’s no doubt about it. But he can feel like a background character in her life.
“Oh, I totally forgot. I won’t be able to take you girls to school, I have an early morning call.”
“It’s fine, Dad,” Piper says. It’s not like he knows how much of a shitty driver she is.
It’s two in the morning and Piper can’t sleep. She made sleepy time tea like her mom used to do (it wasn’t the same), she tried putting on calming music (it just made her more anxious), and she even started to clean her room (something she never ever does).
Now she’s on plan D: read all of her old love letters. Maybe the cringyness will shock her into sleeping.
To: Percy Jackson. Holy shit. Holy shit, she forgot she had a crush on Percy.
I have to admit that it’s weird to see you with Annabeth all the time. Holy. Shit.
I don’t know if it’s jealousy or something else, but it made me realize that I like you. Maybe it’s stupid to fall for your best friend (at least I think you’re my best friend) but I think it can be exciting.
Piper wants to gouge her eyes out. Was she really this much of a dumbass? She can’t even remember when she wrote this; it couldn’t be after seventh grade. Seventh grade was when Percy told Piper he was basically in love with Annabeth.
You always know how to make me laugh, and you know what it’s like to have an absent dad.
She can’t read anymore. This feels like an invasion of privacy. She’s invading her younger self’s privacy. She moves on to the next one.
Letter two: Will Solace. This she does remember. Eighth grade, field trip to the Empire State Building. That’s when her crush developed. It was a small, one-week thing. But he was always really sweet and could make her laugh no matter what. They’re even still sort of friends.
Letter three: Charlie Beckdendorf. Silena’s Charlie. The crush that Piper feels the most guilty about.
Piper had met Charlie when he moved next door during his freshman year. Piper was in eighth grade, Silena was a sophomore. He was so nice to her and would hang out with her whenever she wanted. He listened to her and confided in her. And if Piper is being completely honest, Charlie was the only crush that she hoped would actually work out.
When Silena told Piper about her crush on a boy, Piper was over the moon. Silena was truly a romantic at heart, and Piper knew that she would make any boy happy. She just didn’t think it would be Charlie.
Piper knew she was being selfish. She knew she couldn’t tell anyone about her feelings for him, and so she kept quiet, until her feelings went away.
Moving on, Piper thinks, wanting to bury his letter, vowing never to read it.
Letter four: Reyna Ramirez-Arellano. Piper’s first real crush on a girl. While Reyna made Piper realize she likes girls too, it wasn’t a big thing. It was ‘Oh hey, I’m bisexual. Cool.’
Reyna transferred to Piper’s school when she was a freshman. Some guy in their PE class tried to flirt with her and she immediately punched him in the face. That’s when Piper knew she liked Reyna.
Piper thinks it can’t be too bad to read this letter. She had written it after Reyna moved away that summer. Piper still doesn’t know why she moved, but she thinks it has something to do with Amazon warriors.
Please like girls. That’s it? She couldn’t have written just that. Piper may not be exceptionally romantic, but she is her mother’s daughter.
She reads it again. Please like girls. Actually, no. That's all she needed to say. That's all you can say when you don’t know if your crush is into girls or not. You just have to hope.
Letter five: Jason Grace. The most recent crush she’s had. He was in her chemistry class last year – she specifically started her letter with we have chemistry - and he was nothing but a sweetheart.
He’s insanely smart too. Almost Annabeth Smart. He can be awkward and dorky, but Piper thinks that’s why she liked him. He also bought her food so many times, which always makes her like a person a little bit more.
She would probably die if they ever actually dated though. While being the school’s golden boy and a complete nerd, he’s also really attractive, and so many girls have confessed to liking him. Piper doesn’t want to be just another girl who likes Jason Grace. That made getting over him pretty easy.
Piper’s about to open the envelope and read what sophomore Piper thought was romantic, when someone knocks on her door. Who the hell could be up at two in the morning? She scrambles to put away her letters, stuffs them in an old hat box her mom had given her.
Piper grips the blanket she has around her shoulders like a cape and quietly opens the door. And it’s Drew. Holding out her ankle boots. Piper smiles and tugs her baby sister into her arms.
“You have mediocre fashion sense,” Drew whispers, voice groggy. She’s been surprisingly sentimental lately, but Piper likes it. It makes her feel wanted.
Should have burned this place down when I had the chance, Piper thinks as she walks into her second period class. Except there’s Jason Grace, so maybe it’s not going to be so terrible.
He got glasses. He looks good in glasses.
He sees her and waves. A small, shy wave that sends Piper’s stomach on a rollercoaster. Can’t someone simply get over a guy?
She sits behind him and takes off his glasses. He doesn’t protest, just smiles at her.
“Wow, you’re fucking blind,” Piper says as she puts them on. Fuck, her head immediately hurts. Jason laughs and takes them back.
Throughout class he turns back and looks at her. He makes faces and little comments that make her laugh way harder than they should. They almost get in trouble three times.
“You’re in a surprisingly good mood for the first day back,” Leo comments in fourth period. He's right; Piper has only mentally yelled at twenty people today instead of her usual forty.
“I saw Khione spill her coffee on her douchebag of a brother before class,” Piper lies. She doesn’t know why she lies, but she does. Plus, Leo laughs and doesn’t question her good mood any further. She just can’t allow herself to get sucked back into the vortex of liking Jason. That would just be asking for trouble.
“Is that really necessary?” Piper asks. Drew gets into the passenger seat of the car, a bike helmet on her head.
“Extremely.” Drew responds without a hint of sarcasm. Ugh.
Piper begins to back out, focusing all her energy on not hitting anything. So of course, she hits someone.
Fuck. She looks in the rearview mirror. Who else could it be besides Jason Grace? Fuccccck.
He goes up to her side of the car, knocks on the window. Piper hesitantly rolls it down, a thousand apologies on her tongue.
“You do know you’re supposed to look behind you before backing up, right?” Piper refuses to look at him. She can’t tell if he’s actually pissed off, or if he’s just giving her a hard time. “You’re in charge,” he says, pointing at Drew.
Drew laughs her witch cackle as Jason walks away. Piper wants to burst into flames. Maybe if she’s lucky the car will catch fire too.
“Who was that?” Drew asks, tightening the strap on her helmet. No doubt she’s going to tell her friends how her incompetent older sister almost ran over probably the hottest guy in the eleventh grade.
“That was Jason Grace,” Piper says. She makes absolutely no attempt to continue backing out.
A few seconds pass when Drew asks, “What are you waiting for?”
“We’re waiting for all the cars to leave.” She can’t have any witnesses.
A chance to make new friends.
Silena’s words rattle around in Piper’s head. She feels guilty for wanting to call her. Silena's in Paris for fuck’s sake. Piper’s sure she’s made a bunch of new fancy French friends already.
It’s not like Piper needs to make friends. She has plenty! Maybe that’s why she’s sitting in the living room, watching 90s rom-coms with Drew. Too many people are asking her to hang out so she’s ignoring all of them.
“Should we invite Charlie?” Drew asks halfway through 10 Things I Hate About You. He would always watch with them, even if he pretended to gag whenever the couples started kissing. That would always make Piper and Drew laugh. “It feels wrong without him and Silena.”
Piper nods, offers to turn it off. They put on Star Wars instead and Drew puts Piper’s hair into two very droopy buns.
“We should go to Comic Con and you can be my R2-D2,” Piper says. Drew blankly stares at her. “Cause you’re so tiny,” she explains. Drew flips her off and throws a pillow. Piper dodges and grabs the remote. She holds it like a blaster, shouts pew pew pew.
“I’ve been hit!” Drew screeches, and falls over the side of the couch. There's a loud thump on the floor which sends Piper into a fit of giggles.
A distant ‘keep it down!’ can be heard from their father’s office. Drew slowly crawls back onto the couch as Piper takes her hair out of the buns.
Drew’s phone begins buzzing again; it’s been buzzing all night. Piper suddenly feels self-conscious. She knows for a fact no one has tried to call or text her. Not even Leo, who blows up her phone for no other reason than to annoy her.
“Should you answer?” Piper asks. Drew shakes her head, keeps her attention on the movie. Piper knows her sister loves her, but she also knows that Drew would rather be out with her friends on a Friday night.
“Pipes?” Drew asks a few minutes later. Luke has just rescued Princess Leia and they swing across the chasm, Stormtroopers firing. “What if you got a boyfriend?”
“What?” Piper asks, startled. “Where did this come from?”
“Well, then you would spend time with him and not be so lonely.” Piper raises her eyebrows. This little shit. “I didn’t mean it like that! I’m just saying that if you had a boyfriend, he could drive us around, and...” she trails off.
“And you wouldn’t have to spend as much time with me,” Piper finishes. Drew looks so guilty that Piper almost feels sorry. Almost. “No, I get it. I’m such a drag.”
“That’s not it!” She’s being such an asshole, but she doesn’t care. Drew takes a breath. “Piper, I’m fourteen, and I cancelled plans to be here. You’re sixteen and I don’t think you had anything else going on.”
A chance to make new friends. Silena said it. Drew’s saying it. Piper knows she’s not the most popular person, but she has fun in her own ways. She doesn’t need more people or even a boyfriend to feel complete.
But maybe they’re right. She sometimes has the tendency to push people away. It might be time to start working on that.
Piper wants to die. How dare her gym teacher make her do... exercise.
“C’mon, just. A. Few. More. Laps,” Leo wheezes out. Piper's certain he’s going to collapse. Maybe if she helps him to the nurse she won’t have to finish running.
Piper feels like she’s about to pass out when Jason appears on the track.
“Hey, Piper, can we talk?” he asks. She tries to say she’s in the middle of something, but no words come out. Because he’s holding her letter. The letter. The letter she wrote to him explaining exactly how hard she was crushing on him.
How the fuck did he get it?
Piper is frozen. She can’t move, can’t even speak. Leo mutters something about them needing some alone time and hobbles off.
Jason takes a step forward, asks if she’s alright. She takes a step back. How can she be alright? Wait. If Jason got his letter, did everyone else get theirs?
Piper’s question is answered, because sure enough, Charlie Beckendorf walks down from the lunch tables, a letter clutched in his fist.
“Oh shit.” Time is frozen and Piper McLean is fucked.
She looks between Charlie and Jason, determines which is the lesser of two evils. If she faces Jason, what’s the worst that could happen? He becomes extremely awkward around her? She can handle that.
Piper looks back at Charlie one more time, takes a deep breath, and grabs the front of Jason’s shirt. His surprise only lasts a moment before he starts to kiss her back. Jason Grace is kissing her back. Piper finds herself smiling against his mouth.
“McLean! Two more laps!” her gym teacher shouts. Piper and Jason break apart. His face is a very bright pink and Piper doubts her face is any better.
“Thank you,” Piper says, her voice somehow not betraying her embarrassment, before she sprints off to the bathroom, passing a very confused and somewhat hurt Charlie Beckendorf.