Chapter Text
“you didn’t have to walk me home.”
iwaizumi just looks at you, for a moment, expression unreadable, and then he clicks his tongue and shoves his hands into his pockets.
“of course i did,” he answers, gruffly, eyes fixed over your shoulder. “you’re drunk and i had to make sure you made it home safely.”
you let out a mirthless chuckle, crossing your arms self-consciously as you tilt your head down, away from the way he watches you. “i’m not drunk.”
you’re not looking at him, but you know he’s rolling his eyes, so you bite your lip and rock on your feet anxiously.
“you’re drunk enough,” he says, tersely.
it’s not meant to bite, but it stings anyway. things are so different, now, like there’s an unbreachable distance between the two of you, and it aches in a way you don’t quite understand. it’s so different from the way things used to be, back before you left him, and you find yourself wishing, not for the first time, that you could just go back, that you had the courage to fix things before they broke and bent beyond either of your repair.
but it’s too late, you suppose, standing here in front of him with that same distance between you. it’s too late to go back, and the thought makes your stomach sink because standing here in front of him, you can smell his cologne and you can see him and you want for him, so desperately it hurts in ways you didn’t know it could, but it’s just too late.
“well,” you start, a little awkwardly. “thank you either way, iwaizumi-san.”
he grunts, but it’s soft, and you watch as his jaw clenches and unclenches and his fists ball in his pockets. your stomach sinks again, because he doesn’t really say anything, so you turn away and shakily unlock your door.
“hajime,” he whispers, so quiet you almost miss it. you feel the way your heart breaks again, the way ice surges through your veins and freezes the warm breath in your lungs.
“you used to call me hajime.”
it takes you a moment to choke back the sudden tears that threaten to overwhelm you, but soon enough
you find your voice. “things were different then, iwaizumi. you know that.”
“i know,” he murmurs, soft, sad, after a beat of hesitation.
you don’t know how it happens, or why you even let yourself give in, but before either of you can really comprehend it you’re spinning around and throwing your arms around him, and when you kiss him it is just as hot and overwhelming as you remember it.
he’s shocked for half a second but he reciprocates soon enough, arms tight as they wind around your body and anchor you to him. this kiss is hurried, desperate, and it tastes of everything you wish you had the courage to say, everything you wish you could take back.
it escalates, soon, and you groan quietly when he presses you against your door, mouth hot and wet and so goddamn consuming it nearly breaks you. his hands are everywhere, now, and you find yourself sinking into the feeling of his body pressed so nicely against your own.
it takes you a minute to come back to earth, but when you do, you gasp against his kiss and push at his chest, trying to fight the way he steals all your breath.
“iwa, we cant,” you murmur, eyes fluttering when he brushes a soft, barely there kiss to your upper lip. “i’m drunk.”
his body freezes, and then he sighs as he pulls away from you.
“shit,” he murmurs, swiping his hand over his face. “shit.”
“i’m sorry,” you whisper, when his hands finally leave you. “i’m so sorry, hajime.”
his breath catches, and you watch the way his features soften and then harden all at once, but before he can answer you slip back into your dorm and lock your door, wishing that makki wasn’t so good at coaxing you out for the night and that you had just stayed in.
“i’m sorry,” you whisper, one last time. “i’m so sorry.”