Chapter Text
What I know about love is that it's quite the journey.
For most people, that is.
If I were to put it in terms by yours truly, then love would be a series of tests. Experiments. Chapters. A bookworm like myself knows it takes time to get to the climax in every novel; that in every experiment, it takes time to get results, let alone your desired outcome.
That's how it was with my love for Wendy.
It took time.
I must say, however, the wait was painful. To see her in the arms of someone else, someone who could probably provide her more than I ever could, who would be more accepted by society than I ever would...well...
It hurt.
But like every test, experiment, chapter, etcetera, one had to work through it and be patient. Good things come to those who wait, or so I hear.
And for Wendy, I'd wait for however long fate wanted me to if it meant I got to spend the rest of my days with her.
"Eyy~, this unnie is being sappy again..."
"Yah, Park Sooyoung! Stop reading over my shoulder!"
*
Mark Tuan could do back-flips.
He spoke fluent English.
He’s a dance major.
He's also from California, which meant he could probably do all those cool water sports and activities that Joohyun could only dream of doing because she couldn't go five seconds in the pool without some kind of inflatable tube that served to keep her head above and away from a watery grave.
Mark also knew what In-N-Out was.
(Joohyun thought it was another term for a fast check-out lane at the market.)
Did she mention Mark could do back-flips?
Plus, the younger man was a freshman, like Wendy, another thing Mark had that topped Joohyun in the Get-Wendy's-Love Scale.
But one thing she knew for sure was that he was lost. She didn't need Wendy to tell her the story of Peter Pan to know a lost boy when she saw one.
(Although, Joohyun could listen to Wendy tell her stories for days if it meant she got the chance to hear the younger girl's warm, soothing voice. Despite having read Peter Pan herself already.
Four times.)
Mark Tuan was a lost boy amongst all the other lost boys in Peter Pan's little gang of misfits, trailing the green-tights clad boy everywhere.
Or in this case, Wendy.
Joohyun knew fully well that Mark didn't care much for academics; the blond-haired boy would much rather spend his time in a dance studio or the gym, and if not for these two places, then wherever his girlfriend was. It isn't to say that he was spoiled, what with getting to study abroad in Korea and all, but rather he didn't know what to do with his life, despite having so much given to him.
And this, Joohyun knew, wasn't good for Wendy, who excelled in every area of academics and extracurricular activities, who planned and mapped out her life to the smallest detail and knew what she wanted.
(The brunette's lowest grade ever was a B in History for crying out loud!)
With that said, Mark Tuan simply wasn't a match for Wendy. The girl deserved so much more.
Joohyun just wished Wendy knew it.
*
She chances upon the couple when they visit the library to study. Or rather, Wendy wanted to study, and Mark didn't.
Joohyun was working her daily shift when she overheard the couple's little conversation.
"Can't we do this another day? We haven't seen each other in a while because you're always busy studying."
"At least I'm studying like I should instead of dancing."
The older girl looks up from shelving books in time to see Wendy place a hand on Mark's and wishes she didn't.
(She wonders if Wendy's hand would fit in hers instead.)
"Look, you and I both know you need to work on your Korean. We can't have you walking into the wrong bathroom again."
"That was one time!"
Even though his words are defensive, Joohyun can see the adoration for Wendy in his smile and feels a small part of her break when Wendy returns it.
*
"You promised me you'd come watch my performance. I was really counting on you this time..."
"Babe, I'm sorry. I got caught up at the studio an—"
"You say that every time though."
They were fighting again. It was the fifth argument this week.
(Joohyun knows. She counted.)
"Wen, please. I don't know what to say other than 'I'm sorry.'"
The girl only looks at him in disappointment, a frown on her face.
"Mark, I haven't seen my parents in a year, and they'd jump on a plane to see me. I see my boyfriend every day and he can't even show up to one performance when I ask him to."
Wendy looks down, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. Mark only looks at her sadly.
(Joohyun wished she could catch those tears in time before they hit the floor. She wished for Wendy's happiness.)
Looking up from behind her book, Joohyun sees Wendy shaking her head sadly.
"You’re never really there even when you are. Do you see what I'm trying to say?"
It was what Joohyun would expect from a sad romantic novel, where the female protagonist couldn't go on further in the relationship and the male counterpart is too stupid doesn't know how to fix the relationship that was merely hanging by a thread, so he chooses to walk away rather than bother trying to salvage what little was left; heartbreak results on both sides. The end.
She cowers behind her book again, unable to bear the sight of Wendy's tears or the boy who chose to return her love with disappointment and unmet expectations. Joohyun does, however, hear Mark's parting words.
"I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you."
This time, Joohyun was sure Mark meant it.
*
With Mark and Wendy, I found that love was more than just presence.
You had to be present, does that make sense?
It's not enough simply being there. You have to make sure the other person knows you're listening, that you're engaged in whatever it is they're saying, and that you genuinely care. There's not much in a relationship if none of these factors are there. Otherwise, it's like being in a relationship with air.
You have to look at the person, and give them your complete, utmost attention. And even if what they're saying doesn't make sense to you or interests you in any way, it makes them happy to see you paying attention to them, because you're there in front of them, taking in every word.
And when she they smile that sweet smile of theirs...even if it's not directed at you, it makes you smile too, and you look at them like they hung up the stars in the sky.
(One day, you wish they'll look at you the same way.)
*
What I Know About Love by BJH:
1) Be present. Be there, sound and mind, for all the love the person has to give. If you miss out on it once, you might miss out on it for good.