Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"See you, sweetie!" Sam says and kisses Jack. "I won't be far behind you."

"I know. I just wish we didn't have to continue this charade." Jack sighs and kisses her, looking into her beautiful blue eyes. "This is driving me nuts."

"You know we can't risk it. We both want to stay in the Air Force, and if anyone finds out it would be bad for our careers."

"I know." Jack nods and leaves for his car.

Sam looks after him, a thoughtful look on her face.

Daniel feels a little guilty seeing this side of his friends lives, but he misses Jack terribly, and seeing him happy helps. Some, at least. It wasn't like though he ever observed them doing anything intimate.

Problem was - it seemed like Jack wasn't as happy as Daniel would have thought. Didn't he love Sam? Didn't she love Jack?

Daniel had felt sure of it - all the little looks. It was part of what had kept him from approaching Jack before. Well, that and the fact that Jack would probably have rejected him, and even the thought made it hurt in Daniel's heart - even an ascended being could clearly feel pain, as long as it was emotional.

He had been ascended for several months now, and now and then he kept an eye on his friends. Sam and Jack had taken up a surreptitious love affair about a month after he ascended, and at first they had seemed really happy. However, it hadn't lasted long. They spent less and less time together, and while they clearly tried to convince each other and themselves they were happy, Daniel could see that was not the case.

Maybe they had found out that actually being together wasn't as wonderful as it had seemed when it was just a forbidden dream? Or maybe they were just not right for each other. Really, Sam and Jack had little in common, aside from both being in the Air Force.

Daniel sighs as he slowly floats back to the plane of the ascended, where he spends most of his time. Thinking about it he could see he didn't really have much in common with Jack either, but they did get along well. He considered Jack a friend, and it was usually him, Daniel, that Jack would talk to whenever something bothered him. Well, as much as he talked to anyone.

It was possible to descend again - Orlin had proven that - but the fact was, Jack would never admit that he loved Daniel, so it was just as well that Daniel was ascended and out of the way.

"Hi, Martouf!" Daniel says, waving at the other ascended being.

"Hello, Daniel." Martouf bows his head in greeting. The Tok'ra had not changed his behavior, even if he had now been ascended for longer than Daniel.

Daniel knew that Martouf had ascended when he died - which was when they decided against trying to heal him after he was shot as a zatarc, and removed Lantash from him. That had happened more than a year after they had actually been shot, since they had been in stasis until then.

When Daniel had met Martouf, he had been together with Lantash again. Elliot and Lantash had ascended after giving their lives to save SG-1 and Jacob. Elliot had not wanted to remain a host, but as they were all ascended, Lantash did not need a host. However, Martouf missed him terribly, and Lantash missed him, so when they met, they decided to 'blend' and remain together like host and symbiote, even if it was not necessary. It was cute, actually, and Daniel could not deny envying them a little.

"I just - checked on Sam and Jack," Daniel tells Martouf.

"I see." Martouf looks somber. "They are happy together, I assume?"

Daniel hesitates. "Well - I'm not sure, actually. I don't really think so."

"I was of the belief that they loved each other?"

"So was I, but as I said - I'm not sure." Daniel shrugs. "Anyway, I need to check on Anubis."

"Do you wish my assistance?"

 "No, it's easier on my own, but if you want to you could check on Sam, Jack, Teal'c, and Jonas for me. They are going on a mission which could become dangerous."

"There is nothing I can do - at least not without being stopped."

"True, I still like to keep an eye on them when they're in danger. Perhaps secretly help a little. As long as it is only a little, the other Ancients don't mind."

Martouf nods, smiling a little. "I see. I shall do so, then."

"So, what happened?" Daniel asks when he sees Martouf again.

"Some aliens who had escaped a prison transport tried to fool SG-1 into helping them escape further. Their leader kept trying to seduce Samantha - I only just managed to restrain myself from causing something to fall on him!" Martouf takes a deep breath. "Regardless, SG-1, with the help of SG-15, succeeded and has returned to the world of the Tau'ri."

"Jack is safe?"

"Yes, Colonel O'Neill is safe." Martouf looks closely at Daniel. "You care for him a lot."

Daniel blushes - not something he had thought possible as an ascended. "Yeah, uh, he's a good friend."

"It's more than that, though, is it not? You love him."

Daniel looks down, then nods slowly. "Yes. I do."

"But you have not informed him. Why not? Because he is with Samantha, correct?"

"No, well, yes, that too. But I have loved him for years." Daniel admits. "It's just that Jack would never - he just wouldn't understand, okay? He'd probably be furious and never want to talk to me ever again, if I told him!"

"Why? I realize it can be difficult to tell someone you love them, particularly if it is a good friend - Lantash and I did not do a good job of telling Samantha. We feared rejection, and I understand that you do too, but I do not understand how anyone would become angry to hear they are loved?"

"It's, difficult. Especially because Jack is in the Air Force. They've got rules against that kind of thing. Well, officially he and Sam can't be together either."

"So he might not mind breaking this stupid rule? Since he already does so."

"It's not the same. Sam is at least female! I'm male! Jack would never admit to any feelings for me, even if he did have them!"

"Why would it matter? Ah, yes, some cultures have aversions and sometimes even rules against sexual relationships between people of the same gender, but I did not know the Tau'ri subscribed to these foolish notions."

"Not all Tau'ri do, but many. And they really don't like it in the Air Force." Daniel sighs.

"It is regrettable." Martouf nods.

"I take it the Tok'ra don't mind?"

"Why would they? Many symbiotes have had hosts of either gender, and so have been in relationships as both male and female, and with both males and females. Lantash is only attracted to females, but most Tok'ra like males and females equally as sexual and romantic partners, though some hosts are from cultures that are averse to relationships with the same gender, and so the symbiotes respect that their hosts may not be comfortable in such a relationship."

"Interesting." Daniel says. "I'd like to study that - I mean, I would, if I wasn't ascended."

"Sometimes being ascended is frustrating. Especially when you see something you would like to interfere in, but are not allowed to."

"Well, you can descend, you know," Daniel says.

"Really?"

"Yes. An Ancient called Orlin ascended - because he had fallen in love with Sam."

"It would seem she attracts a great many males of different races." Martouf smiles, a little bitterly.

"It does, yes." Daniel looks unhappy.

"Well, even if descending is possible, there is no point in doing so. Samantha is with Colonel O'Neill."

"Yes - she is, but I don't think she loves him, and I don't think she'll stay with him much longer. Especially not if someone she loves more is available."

"If you mean me, then I doubt she loves me." Martouf glows a little brighter for a moment, and Daniel recognizes that as how he and Lantash does when they switch control.

"When Samantha learned of my feelings for her, she did not say she loved me, only that she would never forget me." Lantash sounds bitter.

"That was while Elliot was your host, right? And just before you died."

"Yes, but why does that matter?"

"She isn't the best at showing emotions on a good day, and she would have been thoroughly confused by the different host, and probably also trying to suppress what she felt because it hurt so badly. I talked to her afterwards, and she said she had never felt such bottomless despair as when she first learned Martouf was dead, and then realized you would die too. So I am sure she was trying to keep her feelings in so as not to break down completely. She didn't want to do that in front of everyone, and it was also a dangerous situation where we had to hurry. She needed to be professional, but I can assure you that she regretted not telling you what she felt for you. She never said it straight out, but it was very obvious that she loves you. Both of you."

Lantash makes a sharp intake of breath. "You really believe she loves us? That she might become ours if we descended?"

"Yes. I really think so." Daniel says, believing it - and knowing that if Sam leaves Jack, then it is one step closer to Jack being with him, Daniel.

"I will observe them. If it seems that Samantha does not love Colonel O'Neill, I will talk to Oma Desala."

 "I believe you are correct. Samantha no longer loves Colonel O'Neill. In fact, she informed him she wanted some time to 'think about their relationship' - and yes, I feel bad for eavesdropping, but I had not expected them to talk personally. It was on a mission, while they were sitting and talking, after Jonas was asleep, and Teal'c was on guard," Martouf says.

"So you will talk to Oma Desala about descending?" Daniel asks.

"I will, yes. What about you, Daniel? Will you also descend, and perhaps attempt to win Colonel O'Neill?"

"Possibly. I will wait a little, and see how he reacts. Then I will maybe contact him, and talk to him. If he seems to, have missed me, then I will also, descend."

"Then Lantash and I hope we will see you - back on the lower planes of existence," Martouf says.

It was a couple weeks after Sam had told Jack she wanted some time to think about their relationship. Part of her regretted it, when she went to bed alone. The sex had been good, but that was about all there had been left in their relationship. They simply had too little in common, and sex wasn't enough to make a relationship, however good that sex was.

She sighs and set her alarm clock, before crawling to bed, naked.

She liked sleeping naked, but Jack wanted the room too cold for that, so at least she could enjoy a slightly warmer room now, and be able to sleep naked.

She pulls up the blanket and cuddles the pillow against her, imagining she holds her lover. Imagining she has a lover, which she probably doesn't anymore. Even if she wants Jack back, and she's not sure of that, then she's certain he doesn't want her back. He was more relieved than anything when she suggested they take a break.

Sam sighs again and closes her eyes. As has happened regularly - even when she was with Jack - the image of Martouf pops into her head. This time she does not push it aside, but allows it to linger as she falls asleep. If only she hadn't been so stupid before - if only he was still alive.

Chapter Text

Sam wakes up from a nice dream about Martouf and sleepily reaches for her alarm clock. She turns it off, and huddles back under the covers for a few moments more, trying to hold onto the nice dream. The dream where Martouf and Lantash are alive.

Then she suddenly freezes when she feels naked skin against her own naked skin, and hears a sleepy muttering.

Who is in her bed? Had she went out to drink yesterday, and taken somebody home? No, surely not!

She realizes she also senses naquadah - the energy signature of a symbiote! 

She turns over quickly, and spots a man lying beside her. The room is fairly light, as the morning sun is shining through the curtains, so she can easily recognize the man.

"Martouf!" She exclaims, shocked. "How can you be here, in my bed? And why are you naked?"

He looks at her with a confused and groggy look. "Who are you?" He looks down himself, and her, realizing they are naked. He smiled, somewhat embarrassed. "I, do not seem to remember you, or how I ended up here, but from our state of clothing we clearly know each other."

"Nothing happened, if that's what you're implying!" Sam shakes her head. "Don't you know who you are? Really?"

 What was going on here? How could he be alive? Why didn't he know who he was?

He smiles embarrassed. "Ah, no, I really don't." He frowns, looking around. "Where are you?"

"What?" Sam frowns. "I am here."

 "Not you. There is someone else here. Another man."

"What! I can assure you there aren't more people in my bed!"

"Don't you hear him? He says he also doesn't remember. And that he can't move." Martouf frowns. "He, thinks he may be - in my head?"

Sam groans. "Lantash! That is Lantash! He is supposed to be in your head!"

"You are supposed to have another person in your head?" Martouf wonders. "I see."

"No! Well, yes, Tok'ra do! You're Tok'ra! Your name is Martouf, and Lantash is your symbiote!"

"I am sorry we are making you angry." Martouf looks over her nude body - she has moved so the blanket has slid off most of her. His expression tells Sam that he appreciates what he sees.

Sam takes a deep breath and quickly pulls the blanket up. "I'm not angry. Just frustrated. Listen, we need to get to the bottom of this. Can you remember anything?"

Martouf thinks about it for some time. "Very little. I do remember seeing you before. So does Lantash. We don't recognize the room. We think," He blushes. "That we have feelings for you. Perhaps we are mates? Since we are sharing this bed?"

Sam gives him a sad smile, really wishing it was the case. "No, we're not. But I, um, know you have feelings for me." She remembers what Lantash had wanted her to know - that he loves her as much as he loved Jolinar. "And, I sort of, think that I have feelings for you too."

"That is good." Martouf observes.

"Yes. Yes, it is. Listen, I don't know how to tell you, but you, were shot. You're supposed to be dead. Both of you."

"Dead? But how can we be here then?"

"I have no idea. But there are plenty of ways to bring back someone, so I guess it's possible. Obviously it's possible. Provided you are who you think you are. I guess you could be a clone. Or an impostor, trying to trick me-" Sam suddenly realizes.

"I would never do that!"

Sam takes a deep breath. "I don't think you are an imposter, but we need to get to the bottom of this. I'll, get dressed, and see if I can find something you will fit in. Then we'll get to Stargate Command, and have Janet look you over. Call the Tok'ra. Okay?"

She stretches out and grabs a towel that hangs on the chair beside her, then gets up, wrapping it around her.

"I already saw you naked." Martouf smiles. "But yes to the plan."

Sam blushes. "I'll be back in a moment."

Daniel smiles a little to himself, after having checked how his friends are doing. It was very unfortunate the Ancients insisted on making Martouf and Lantash forget everything before sending them back, but Oma had promised the memory loss would be temporary for all the memories they had before ascending - but permanent for most of the memories they had gotten as ascended. Apparently, human and symbiote brains were not yet evolved to the point where they could hold on to all the memories of an ascended being, and Daniel also suspected the Ancients didn't want mere mortals to have all their knowledge of the universe.

He floats to where Jack is, in his own house. Jack has just woken up, and he does not look happy. Daniel decides to talk to him.

"Hi, Jack!" Daniel says, making himself visible.

"Whoa, Daniel! Don't just show up like that - if you're real, that is. You're probably a figment of my imagination."

"Jaaa-ack. You know I'm not. We've been over this. Many times. Especially when you were a prisoner of Ba'al's."

"Don't mention that! Ever!" Jack warns.

"Sorry." Daniel smiles, and secretly admires Jack's body. He is only wearing underwear, but Daniel wishes he had been there a little earlier, while Jack was showering! Oh!

"Did you want something? Because some of us are going to work, you know!"

"I just wanted to say hi. See how you're doing. Checking up on old friends, you know."

"Hm." Jack starts finding his clothes and begins to dress.

"So you're not with Sam anymore?"

"None of your business!" Jack sounds grumpy.

"I'm your friend! You can tell me - anything!"

Jack is silent for a long time while he dresses. "I guess it doesn't matter. You're ascended - or whatever. You're not gonna tell anyone. We're taking a break."

"Ah."

"I'm not sure we're good together." Jack confesses. "I thought we'd be, but we're not. Too little in common, I guess." Jack grins. "Though there are some things I miss - she's really hot in bed, you know!"

"Not interested in hearing about that!" Daniel tells him, feeling a pain in his heart thinking of Jack with Sam.

"Why not? Jealous?"

"Why would I be? I'm ascended." Daniel looks carefully at Jack.

Jack shrugs. "It's just that you guys always spent so much time together. I always suspected there might be something there."

"Really? We've always only been friends."

"Never wanted more?"

"With Sam? Well, she's attractive, but we became close friends pretty much immediately, and somehow I think of her more as a sister. I do care for her. A lot."

"Care for her. Okay. Well, ascended people don't have relationships, I guess."

"Actually, some of them do, though many of them consider themselves 'above' that. They can even have, uh, sex."

"Really? How?"

"I didn't ask. Didn't feel like it - I mean, there weren't anyone I was interested in."

"Too bad. I'd have thought there was lots of people."

"And lots of space, and places they have created. Anyway, I wasn't interested in any of them because I'm already in l... I mean, never mind." Daniel realizes what he almost said.

Jack hasn't been paying attention, and is looking at his clock. "I need to get going, Daniel. It was fun to chat!"

"Sure." Daniel waves, feeling a little sad. Perhaps he should just tell him? It was obvious Jack was too dense to think of it himself!

"So he's really Martouf - and Lantash?" Sam asks Janet.

"Yes, for all I can see. They're not a robot copy like the ones that were made of you guys. They are flesh and blood, and their DNA matches what we have on file. I guess they could be clones or from another reality, but I don't have the means to tell you that."

"We'll have the Tok'ra come check them out. What about the amnesia?"

"Temporary, for all I can tell. Possibly a side-effect of whatever brought them here." Janet shakes her head. "This place sure is never boring! Now people are being brought back from the dead!"

Sam nods. "Yeah - no side-effects of that?"

"None that I can tell. They're completely healthy in every way, except for the memory loss."

"Okay. Well, I'll talk to the General about calling the Tok'ra here to check." Sam's stomach rumbled. "But for now I think I need some breakfast." She smiles.

Janet smiles at her. "I can understand why you're worried, Sam, but they really seem to be who they appear to be. Lucky, huh?"

Sam blushes. "Uh, yeah. Or, what do you mean?"

Janet rolls her eyes. "You love them! Duh! It's obvious!"

Sam looks embarrassed. "They're - very good friends. And Jolinar's mates."

"You're fooling no one, young lady! Now, go talk to them! Don't waste any more time! Don't waste this second chance!"

Sam nods slowly. "You're right. I won't - if they still want me."

"I'm sure they do. Didn't you see how they were looking at you? They're waiting in the other room - go ask if they want breakfast too!"

Chapter Text

"Do you miss her?" Daniel asks, popping out of thin air beside Jack, as he is sitting on a rock while Sam, Jonas, and Teal'c are studying some ruins? "Sam, I mean."

"Jesus! Daniel! Don't scare me like that! Carter is just over there!" Jack points in the generic direction of where Sam is working.

"Carter again, huh?"

"We're on duty."

"But you're not together again, are you? How long is this break?"

"Unusually nosy, aren't you?" Jack sighs unhappily. "No, we're not together again. Won't be together again. Do you know what happened? Marty returned! Alive and well! I mean, isn't that completely crazy? He died years ago!"

"Uh, yeah." Daniel nods.

"Uh, yeah? Is that all you have to say? The Tok'ra have examined him and his snake, and they say that not only is it him, them, genetically, but they're also sure they're not clones, and not from another reality. Which they can apparently tell." Jack snorts.

Daniel is silent for a moment. "They were ascended."

"What?"

"Martouf and Lantash. They both ascended. Elliot too, but he wanted to stay ascended."

"They, uh, ascended? And now they've returned, like that, that, Orlin-fellow did?" Jack asks.

Daniel nods. "Yes." He makes a motion to push at his glasses, but since he's ascended, it doesn't work that way.

"He didn't have memory loss, though."

"No, because he wasn't a human to begin with. I mean, I know Lantash isn't either, even if Martouf is, or was before he became Tok'ra. Anyway, Lantash is closer to us humans, so like a human, his brain can't hold the vast knowledge of an Ancient. Even despite the genetic memory stuff."

Jack nods. "Right. Like when I got all that memory dumped in my mind by the database-thingie. Mortal minds can't store all that."

"Exactly. And forgetting everything is part of forgetting that - their own memories from before they ascended will return. You, uh, you should tell Sam."

Jack sighs. "I will. She's worried for him, even though he's already starting to remember." He shakes his head. "She's obviously in love with him - and him with her. I kind of suspected it before, before he was a zatarc, but I didn't want to see it. Now - well, Sam and me doesn't work out, but I still love her, as a friend. I'm happy for her."

"That's really nice, Jack!" Daniel smiles. "What about you? Is there someone else you're interested in?" He subconsciously licks his lips.

Jack hesitates, then shakes his head. "Nah, don't think so. Listen, Daniel. It's always great to chat, but I'd really like to be alone right now, okay?"

"Okay. Okay, Jack." Daniel sighs and disappears.

He hangs around for a little while though, watching as Jack is deep in thought. Daniel would really like to know what he is thinking about. He actually feels hopeful Jack is interested in him, but how to make him admit it!

Some weeks pass, and Daniel watches now and then, as Martouf and Lantash slowly regains their memories and starts a relationship with Sam.

He also watch as Jack seems down, but not out of jealousy of Martouf and Lantash. Daniel visits now and then, and every time Jack seems happy again.

Daniel decides it is time to descend, but not until he has helped SG-1 against Anubis, who he has just found out is going to go to Abydos to get the 'eye of Ra' to power his new superweapon.

That he can't be allowed to do, and Daniel decides to interfere, even if it means the other ascended will punish him.

He is on his way to do just that, when Oma Desala appears before him.

"Daniel! Are you sure you want to do this? You know how the Others look on interfering with the lower planes." Oma says.

"Yes." Daniel nods. "I'm sure. I just can't let Anubis do this. I don't understand how any of you can! I mean, he's part-way ascended! He holds all the knowledge of an ascended being! Why didn't you make him forget it?"

"We would have, if we had descended him fully." Oma admits. "However, if someone truly does not wish to be descended, we cannot force them more than part-way, such as this. The person has to comply for us to descend them fully."

"So they also can't do that to me?"

"No, but do you want to be like Anubis? He will never again be accepted in to our ranks! His only options is staying the way he is, or descend fully and become mortal - and forget his ascended knowledge."

"No, I don't want to become like him."

Oma nods. "I will try to stop the others from punishing you. I think I will be able to, as there are quite many who agree with you."

Daniel shakes his head. "Don't. Stop them, I mean. I have decided - I want to descend."

"You want to become human again? Mortal? Like your friends?"

"Yes, but not until I have helped SG-1 against Anubis."

Oma nods. "You are doing this for love, just like Martouf and Lantash. It is a powerful feeling, one many of my kind have forgotten. Good luck, Daniel. I will help you as much as I can."

A long time later.

"We found something you might want to see." Reynolds says.

Jack, Sam, and Teal'c walks towards them and look.

"Daniel?" Jack asks, his voice breaking at the sight of the beautiful young man, whom he had never thought he would see again as a mortal.

"Arrom." Khordib says.

"Arrom?" Jack asks.

"It's what we call him." Khordib says.

"It means naked one." Shamda says."

"That's how we found him in the forest, two moons ago." Khordib says.

"Seems he doesn't remember who he is." Reynolds says.

"Colonel, that's just how Martouf and Lantash appeared in, uh, in my house. Naked, and with amnesia." Sam looks at Daniel. "Daniel?"

"Right." Jack nods, unable to take his eyes of Daniel. Naked? He smiles a little to himself at the thought.

Sam approaches Daniel, smiles and reaches out to touch his shoulder. "It's okay. It's me, Sa-"

Daniel puts his hand up to stop her from touching him. Sam nods, understanding he is confused, but a little saddened he doesn't seem to remember her at all, which Martouf and Lantash did fairly immediately.

"Do you not recognize us, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c says.

"I'm sorry." Daniel walks away.

The team turn to watch him go.

"Not even me?" Jack shouts after Daniel, who stops for a moment, looks at Jack and frowns. He seems to consider saying something, then turns and leaves.

Daniel is sitting in a tent. Jack enters.

"Please leave me alone." Daniel says, not looking up.

Jack does not accept that, and sits down opposite him.

"I'm Jack O'Neill. And, barring some freakish similarity, you are Dr. Daniel Jackson."

"This tent is all I know. These people, they're all I know. Before I woke up in the forest, I don't remember anything. I've tried. I've tried to remember who I was before. Sometimes I think it's right there, floating in front of me, and all I have to do is reach out and grab it. I try—and it's gone."

"You were a member of my team, SG-1. You're a friend of mine. Last year, you died."

"I'm dead?"

"Obviously not. You just sort of died. Actually, you…ascended to a higher plane of existence. Last time I saw you, you were helping us fight Anubis."

"Anubis?"

"Yeah. Kind of an over-the-top, cliché bad guy. Black cloak, oily skin, kind of spooky. Anyway, obviously since then, you've retaken human form, somehow. I—" Jack pauses as his words register and he shakes his head. "Actually, I can see how this might sound a bit unusual…"

"A bit? Why am I here?"

"Hey, why are any of us here?" Jack grimaces at his bad joke. "Honestly, I don't know, but you've got to trust me. You are Daniel Jackson. Think of it this way: out of all the planets in the galaxy, why this one if not for us to find you?" He points at Daniel.

"So you're saying a higher power had a hand in putting me here?" Daniel says, sceptically.

"I don't know. That was generally your department." Jack sighs. "Daniel. Danny - you're my. My best friend. Please tell me there is something! Don't you remember me at all? Just a little bit."

Daniel looks at Jack, then smiles sadly. "There is, something. I don't know what, but - it hurts thinking about it. Somehow it hurts, trying to remember you. Jack."

Jack sighs again. "Yeah. I may not always have been as good a friend as I should be." He looks into Daniel's beautiful eyes and takes his hands. "But I promise I will do better in the future. If you'll just try to remember me!" He begs.

Sam walks over to Jack who is just leaving Daniel's tent, he looks sad.

"Remember when I said it was like talking to a wall?" Jack says.

"It's just like when Martouf and Lantash had just descended. They didn't remember anything either."

"No, but from what you told me they didn't actively try and stop you from helping them, and they were friendly."

Sam gives him a wry smile. "True. Daniel is being difficult?"

Jack nods. "Unfortunately."

"Well, you know Daniel. He can be that way sometimes - mostly if he feels he's been treated wrongly in some way."

"How could he be! He doesn't remember anything about anything we've said or done!" Jack exclaims, frustrated.

"Maybe he does, at least subconsciously. Martouf and Lantash felt they knew me immediately, and also had some, uh, feelings associated with me." Sam blushes.

"Yeah, but that's because he loves you. Daniel doesn't love me!"

Sam looks at Jack as if she considers saying something, then shakes her head. "He's your friend. Maybe he remembers something. Something that seems small to you now, but he doesn't remember that you worked out your, differences. Or whatever. He only remembers that something in connection with you hurt him. Does that make sense?"

Jack sighs. "Yeah. It does. More than you may think."

"Daniel? Can I come in?" Sam pauses at the entrance to the tent.

Daniel blows out a candle he has just lit, leaving the interior of the tent fairly dim. "Sure."

Sam sits down and looks at Daniel. "So-"

"What did you say your name was again?" Daniel asks.

"Samantha Carter. You used to call me Sam."

"Yeah, well, like I already told, uh, Jack-"

"I guess what I don't understand is why you aren't dying to know all about who you are." Sam says.

"I am. And I'm not."

"See, it's the not part…"

"What if I don't like who I was? What if I don't want to be that person? What if I don't have it in me to make up for something I've done wrong?" Daniel sighs.

"I have to admit, that never occurred to me. Look, we all thought we'd lost you at one point." Sam is quiet, collecting herself. "It was one of the hardest things I have ever been through. You were—you are—brilliant. One of the most caring, passionate… You're the type of person who would give his own life for someone he doesn't even know."

"Well, that doesn't sound so bad."

"If you had one fault, it was that you wanted to save people so badly, y—you wanted to help people so much, that it tore you apart when you couldn't make a difference."

"That actually sounds kind of hard to live up to."

"All I know is that if I were you, I would definitely want to get to know me—you."

"I get it."

"Come back with us. Let us show you who you are instead of just telling you."

"I'll think about it."

"OK." Sam sighs, again considering how to ask him about Jack. She decides against it and begins to rise from her seat.

"Samantha Carter?"

She stops at the tent entrance and turns back to Daniel. "Yeah? You know, you never call me that!"

"Was there ever anything between us?"

"Us, uh… No, no, not in that way. We—we were really, really good friends." Sam looks at him, really not understanding.

"OK." Daniel smiles a little and nods his head.

Sam decides to make a gamble and sit down. "Actually, I wanted to ask you something. You know, Jack? He doesn't understand what you meant by feeling 'hurt' when you try to remember him. What did you mean by that?"

Daniel frowns. "I don't know. It's just, when I see Jack, when I think of him - I get all these, feelings. They don't make sense, but when I try to think of him, I feel a bottomless, sadness."

"Sadness? You know, I think you're mistaken. You and Jack are good friends. Great friends. I can't imagine why you'd feel sadness thinking of him. Maybe because you miss him?"

"No, I don't think that's it. More like, because I know there is something that will never happen."

Sam takes a deep breath. "Please her me out now. I think, I think you and Jack - that you may have feelings that are, more than friendship."

"What do you mean?" Daniel frowns.

"You know. Love."

"I do feel love, but I also feel love for you. Not the same, though."

Sam grins. "I think I understand. Daniel - whatever you feel, I very much suspect Jack feels it too. Please, come back with us. Try to remember - I have a feeling it will be worth it!"

Chapter Text

Several weeks later.

Daniel has finally gotten all his memories back - including a few from when he was ascended. He is also remembering what Sam told him, about Jack. He decides it is time to talk to Jack, and to confess how he feels. Now, before he loses the courage to do so!

He decides it is not a good idea to approach Jack on the base, because then Jack will be in full military mode, and he would never admit to anything then.

So, when the weekend arrived, and the team was on standby, Daniel decided it was time to make his move!

Jonas was back on Kelowna. Teal'c was visiting his son, Rya'c, and Sam was with Martouf/Lantash visiting some romantic planet. That meant no one would come and disturb him all weekend.

If only he could convince Jack to admit to the feelings he hoped they shared.

Nervous, Daniel knocks on the door to Jack's house. Please be home, the handsome archaeologist thinks.

After a few moments, the door opens, and Jack stands in the door.

"Daniel?"

"Uh, hi, Jack. Can I come in? I mean, I can leave if you're busy-"

Jack rolls his eyes. "You know me, I'm not busy! I'm just watching hockey and drinking beer. I was just about to order pizza, so it's a perfect time if you want any!"

"That sounds really nice, Jack. Thanks, yes."

"Good. You still like pepperoni and mushrooms, right?"

"I, yes. Yes, I do. It sounds really good, actually. I haven't had it in, well a long time. Not since before I ascended."

"Thought so. Come on it, Danny, and let's order." Jack smiles.

"Uh, I brought this." Daniel holds out a bottle of wine.

"Wine? Well, I guess it will be perfect with the pizza." Jack grins. "Beer and pizza is good for team night, but wine and pizza is more, classy. Yeah, that's the word!"

Daniel steps inside and goes to sit in the couch in the living room while Jack orders pizzas for them both. After a few minutes he shows up with a couple wine glasses and the bottle, uncorked. On the table stands several beers, a few full ones, three of them empty and one half-full. 

"It's been a long time since team night, Jack. Maybe we should start that up again." Daniel says, nervous. He's not sure if he should really have interrupted, or if it was a good idea. Jack seems...unnerved. 

Jack nods. "Good idea. I wonder if Marty wants to come - when it matches the times he's on Earth."

"Unless he and Sam, uh-"

Jack rolls his eyes. "Yeah, that's true. Probably." He grins. "I never thought I'd say it, but I'm happy for them. Really. Marty is a good guy - as Tok'ra go. Hell, even otherwise. Also, he makes Carter happy."

Daniel nods. "That's good. I'm happy for them too." He takes a deep breath. "Jack, what about you? Wouldn't you want that? I mean, being happy, with someone."

Jack takes a long drink from his beer, then shrugs. "Sure, I guess. Haven't thought that much about it recently."

"Because it didn't work out with Sam."

He sighs. "Yeah... no, not just that. Before that too. After it didn't work out with me and Sara. After Charlie, we couldn't..." Jack becomes silent.

"I'm sorry."

Jack shakes his head. "Don't. It was a long time ago, but I guess it's rare to meet someone like that. Someone you really love and feel you can be you with. Sara was someone like that, and if Charlie hadn't died - due to my own stupidity!" he says bitterly. "Then maybe..."

Daniel puts a hand on his leg. "Jack...don't be so hard on yourself. You didn't do it on purpose. You're human, and humans make errors."

"Not like that!" Jack exclaims hotly. He drains the rest of the beer and opens another. "Sorry. I'm...a bit drunk." He takes a long drink from the beer.

"I understand, uh, maybe you shouldn't have any more beer then?"

"Right. You brought wine." Jack looks at the beer. 

"That's not what I meant." Daniel sighs. "Sorry, this was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here like this." He gets up. "I'll leave."

"No, wait." Jack puts down the beer and grabs Daniel's arm, pulling him down on the couch beside him. "Stay." He grimaces. "I don't...really want to be alone. I guess I've been sitting here and being miserable and feeling sorry for myself."

"Jack...I understand. When Sha're died, I felt like my life wasn't worth anything anymore. Like nothing was worth anything anymore."

Jack nods slowly. "It's hard...losing those you love." After they have sat in silence some time, he takes the wine bottle and pours for them both, then hands a glass to Daniel. "Cheers. To...survival. And absent friends and loved ones."

"Yes. To absent friends and loves ones. And survival." They drink, and then sit in silence for a long time. "Jack..." Daniel starts again.

"Hm?" Jack pulls himself from his thoughts - which are probably not pleasant ones.

"Have you ever felt like that again? Like you did for Sara, I mean?"

Jack thinks for some time, looking down at his glass. "I thought I did for Carter, but that wasn't true. But...yes, I have." He confesses, looking up at Daniel.

"So have I." Daniel says. "I didn't think so, but I have." 

Their gazes catch and they look into each others eyes. 

"Daniel..." Jack begins, but is interrupted when the doorbell chimes. "It's the pizza. I'll get it." He gets up fast and hurries to the door.

Daniel looks after him, having the feeling Jack is not just hurrying because he doesn't want the pizza man to wait. What had he been about to say?

Chapter Text

They sat and ate the pizzas, and drank the wine, grinning and enjoying each others company. It was just like old times, being friends and team mates.

Jack pushes the pizza box aside and wipes his mouth with a napkin before downing the rest of the contents of the glass of wine. He smiles at Daniel, who finished eating a little while ago. "This was a great idea, Daniel! We need to do it again soon!"

Daniel smiles. "I agree." 

"I've missed you...missed your friendship." Jack says. "Don't ever die like that again! Ascend, or whatever!"

"Not without you, I promise!" Daniel says. "I won't leave you." 

"Good." Jack says. He's a more than a little drunk, and at that wonderful stage where you feel mellow and just want to share how much you love your friends. "You're my best friend, Daniel! I mean, all of you, you, Teal'c, Carter...you're my friends, but you...you're the closest. I feel, I feel like I can tell you everything!"

"You can." Daniel promises. "I'll always be there for you Jack, and I was. Even when I was ascended. I did my best to...watch over you. Protect you."

Jack grins. "Like I need protecting! It's usually you who needs that, Danny-boy!" He grabs the other man's hand and squeezes it, growing somber. "I'll be better at protecting you in the future. I can't...lose any more of you guys! Can't lose any more of those I love..." he mumbles in a low voice. 

Daniel smiles at him and squeezes Jack's hand back. "Then we'll look after each other." When Jack doesn't let go of his hand, he slides a little closer to him on the couch.

Jack looks up and into Daniel's beautiful blue eyes. Daniel stares into Jack's brown eyes, so warm and lovely.

"Daniel..."

"Jack..."

They lean forward at the same time, and their lips meet. They sit like that, slowly kissing their first, wonderful kiss, for several minutes. Moving their mouths against each other. Simultaneously they decide to deepen the kiss, and soon their tongues are sparring. When they finally pull apart, they just look into each others eyes. 

"Um...Daniel..." Jack begins, not sure what to say.

"Shh, Jack, please don't say anything. Don't ruin the moment with trying to explain this away..."

"I wasn't going to try..." Jack says, his voice a bit rough from arousal. He pulls Daniel to him again, and kisses him deeply and thoroughly again. 

They embrace tightly and soon their hands start to stray, unable to not go where they have wanted to for so long. 

"Oh, Jack!" Daniel squeals when Jack's hands slide over his body, down to his butt, kneading it. 

"Daniel!" Jack kisses his Daniel again, and slides his hand up under Daniel's shirt. He fondle him as they lie down on the couch, embracing tightly.  

They start tearing at each others clothing and soon tumbles to the ground, in their frenzy to get naked and sate the desire they have felt for each other for so long. 

The last Daniel thinks before he succumbs to Jack expert hands and mouth is that going to Jack's house that night is the best idea he has had in many years! 

Daniel wakes in Jack's bed the next morning. Some time during the night they had made it there, after having wonderful mind-blowing sex on the carpet in the living room. Then they had wonderful sex in the bed, before falling asleep, snuggling closely together.

Daniel moans softly when he opens his eyes. "My head!"

Jack stretches and looks at him, raising an eyebrow at his lover. "As I mentioned before, you are a cheap date - you get drunk from a glass of wine or a beer!"

Daniel scoffs. "It was more than one glass!"

"So it was." Jack kisses him. He looks closely at him. "No regrets, I hope?"

Daniel had thought he would be the one to ask that. He careful shakes his head. "About us? No, never! About the wine? That's another story!"

Jack grins. "My poor Daniel!" He grimaces. "My head isn't much better, even though I've got a bit more experience in this matter."

"You also got a lot more to drink!"

"Yes. But I know just how to treat a hangover."

"How?" Daniel looks at him suspiciously. 

"A cold shower - and then a beer. Followed by my amazing massage!"

Daniel grimaces. "Can we go directly to the massage?"

"Nope! It's all three or none!" Jack gives him a sly look.  

"Okay, okay..." Daniel groans and force himself to sit up. "Don't want to pass that up, so I'll try..."

Jack smiles and gets up, wincing a little at his sore knees. He then pulls Daniel up after him, giving the younger man's body an appreciative look. "I'll accompany you to the bath. Come!" 

Daniel looks at Jack's body, studying his firm ass and deciding that headache or no headache, sharing a bath with Jack might be worth it. "Okay, but can we take a warm bath? Please?"

"Sure." Jack grins. "At first!" He then adds. 

Daniel groans, but happily follows his new lover. As they walk out into the bathroom he smiles to himself. This has gone much better than he had ever imagined, better than he had ever dared dream!

Perhaps there is happiness in the future for him and Jack anyway! 

The end. Though I will definitely write more about Jack and Daniel's journey through a shared life, and the happiness they have together, as well as the challenges they meet!