Work Text:
Bling Bling Boy was in his room creating a new invention to help destroy Jonathan Test. He hated Johnny because of what Mr.Test had done to his father, he will never forget the day he broke his father's lawnmower.
As he was creating his hot new invention, he had BBC playing in the background. Harry Potter repeats were playing on TV, his favorite show. Before Harry Potter, he had watched my strange addictions where a dog was addicted to licking feet.
Bling Bling Boy went to the bathroom, and his pee came out green. This was not normal, since his pee is usually purple.
He ran into his bedroom and started yelling for his father, but his invention started to make his TV shake rapidly like his grandma when she had a seizure. He wished Susan Test was there to save him.
The TV opened up and a black hole was sucking everything in his room in it, including his Susan Test nudes. Bling Bling couldn’t lose them, so he jumped in the black hole to save those sweet Test nudes.
He started to swim within the black hole, and finally spotted those sweet underage booty pics. He grabbed them and shoved them in his underpants, then landed in a strange room.
“This place is ugly! Where am I?” He screamed at someone sitting on the couch. “Answer me you fat bitch, this place is where some ratchet ass hos stay!!!” Bling Bling Boy was not happy.
“Um, if you give me those cheetos you have sticking out of your butt, I’ll tell you.” The fat man said while staring at his thick ass.
“Fine!” Bling pulled them out of his ass and handed them to the lard.
“Okay, thanks.” He said while shoving the butt food down his throat. “My name is Crabbe, and you’re in the Slytherin Common Room. Why aren’t you wearing your robe?” Crabbe said while pointing at his robe.
“Um, those ugly outfits? Catch me dead wearing something as UGLY as that!” He said while he shoved his chain in Crabbe’s face. “THIS is Fashion!” Bling showed Crabbe a picture of himself on a pole.
A blonde, pale, twink walked in the room while Bling Bling Boy showed this fat lard the picture.
“Crabbe who the FUCK is this?” He said unimpressed.
“He gave me cheetos. I’m sorry Draco.” Crabbe shoved the rest of the buttcheese cheetos in his mouth.
“Of course you gave in fatty, now go suck Goyle’s dick, while I finish this ratchet ho off.” Draco snapped his fingers and approached Bling Bling Boy.
Bling Bling Boy teleported as the Draconathan approached him. He was impressed with the powers he had in this wizard world.
He was now in a weird looking place with huge long tables, surprisingly bigger than his dick. Most tables don’t compare in the slightest with his hotdog.
“ Oh my God! Who is this monstrosity? “ a girl with frizzy hair screeched, terrified of his sheer power.
Bling Bling was ANGRY at this low-tier girl’s disrespect, so he decided to punish her. He sent her to Dumbledore’s bedroom while the man was jerking his now sterile penis. Hermione and the man both screamed at the same time, horrified. It echoed throughout Hogwarts.
“ What did you do?? “ Harry asked terrified.
“ Shut up nerd boy “ Bling Bling said and forcibly zipped Harry’s mouth shut.
“ ANYBODY ELSE WANNA CHALLENGE ME? “ he threatened.
“ Me “ a familiar voice said, it was Draco.
“ Back for more blondie? “
“ Ok, come over here thiccie, let’s fight. “
Bling Bling walked over with his fists clenched. He prepared to punch Draco in his dumb gay mouth, but then he felt something attack his dumb gay mouth. It was Draco’s lips.
“ MMPFH?! “ Bling Bling questioned.
Draco used this as an opportunity to slide his tongue into Bling Bling’s mouth.
“ Does this solve your problems cutie? “
Bling Bling had to admit he was really turned on, his chode got hard in his pants.
“ Okay fine, I will return everything back to normal my love. “
Suddenly everyone was teleported into the great hall.
“ Citizens of this homeless center, I will no longer torture your poor homeless souls, as long as you bow and show allegiance to me, your God, Bling Bling Boy of Porkbelly. “
Draco kissed him again because he could.
The gay teacher, Snape, sighed and muttered under his breath. “ Fucking faggots “
Bling Bling Boy pulled away from Draco.
“ WHAT did you just say…. ?? “ he questioned challenging the man.
“ I said…. Fucking FAGGOTS!!!!! “
Everyone gasped at the mans blatant homophobia, but they werent really surprised tbh i mean.
Bling Bling Boy kicked the man in the nuts, the kick was so powerful that it sent Snape back to the time of dinosaurs and he got brutally eaten in like jurassic park and stuff it was pretty epic
“ HAHAHA “ Bling Bling laughed “ BRITISH PEOPLE USE THE WEATHER SYSTEM BACKWARDS ‘
Suddenly Bling Bling got sent home. Once he realized he was no longer with his true love, Draco, he cried his eyes out. Susan Test would never compare to his sweet blonde hair. He wished he could smell it….
Bling Bling turned on the TV and desperately waited for a Draco scene.
The scene where Draco was gonna kill Dumbledore in the Half Blood Pintce came on and BLing Bling pulled out his massive cock. He started jerking off and came almost instantly. Again and again. He eventually drowned in his own cum and tragically died.
RIP Bling Bling, you will always be missed. Please comment and send him love in Heaven.
