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Her auburn hair was dancing fire as it blew in the breeze. The wind carried her familiar scent, a mixture of coffee and cherry blossoms from her body wash. He could watch her from his place against this tree forever as she laid down to stare up at the sky. She was watching the clouds again, finding shapes in the abstract wisps of air. His favorite part was when she noticed him. She would sit up, resting her weight on her forearms as her eyes settled upon him and the grin she wore would light up his world and brighten every color he ever saw. He was quick to make his way to her, his aim to lie with her and watch the hours tick by.
It never lasted. Every time he was only a step away from her, the dream ended. He sat up from where he has slept, his heart racing while it twinged with the heavy feeling of betrayal once again. She had left to find herself, and she had never returned. She had left him behind, and he had never been able to pick up her scent to track her down himself. She was lost to him, forever, before any of the true nightmare he lived began.
The first time he lost her, he thought his heart would never break again. He pitied Scott for not being able to move on like he had. He had lost his love as well, but Scott just couldn’t function. The second time he lost her, he broke even further and withdrew into himself. He abandoned the only home he had known to isolate himself, until fate found him and restored him. He never thought he would have to suffer through losing her a third time. The third time he lost her, he was agonizingly numb for years. He could function, he went through his routine as he always had, but he could never shake the feeling of not truly being there. It was like his body was on autopilot and anything he used to feel was gone.
Then the war began. Everything he had ever known was ripped away from him as the Sentinels descended upon his race at first, and then began searching for humans who carried the mutant gene. In those days, he couldn’t afford to waste time thinking about Jean. He was trying to both survive and protect as many as he could. For all his effort though, he failed to protect most. When his mind would wander and attempt to process his loss, his heart would sink further. This wasn’t a life worth living, but he couldn’t give up. If he gave up there would be one less defender for mutants, one less being trying to fight for a future for his kind.
When he was told the truth, along with what remained of the X-Men, about where Jean had truly gone, all he felt was blind anger. For years he had been led to believe Jean had left for some sort of soul searching. In reality, she was one of the first to die in hopes of stopping the Sentinels. His love seemed to always be the martyr, dying to protect the ones she loved.
“We should consider ourselves lucky,” Charles addressed the group, “with her sacrifice, she has given us another opportunity to change the past. If we send someone to the day she left, we can possibly join her. If we are unable to, we will have to send someone all the way back to 1973 ourselves.”
Logan didn’t need any more details, all he saw before him was a chance to see his love again, “I’ll do it.”
After being sent through the past, Logan awoke in the mansion again. His home that he had missed far more than he would ever admit. He was in his own bed, and he could smell her again. She had just been in the bed, but she wasn’t in the room any longer. He was quick to spring into action, haphazardly dressing himself before tracking her down. The ends of her fiery hair moved into a portal that looked similar to one he had seen Blink make, but not similar enough. With no other thoughts, he launched himself after her.
His mind being sent back had been a strange sensation, and a painful one. If he focused hard enough, he could feel parts of himself seemingly fade away into the unknown. Going through whatever Jean had made felt infinitely worse. He had no way of telling what direction up was in, where he was, or what he was even seeing. It felt like his whole body was melting and twirling into a kaleidoscope of misery and pain.
As quick as he entered, the shifting in his body and the pain by the travel was gone. In front of him was the woman he had yearned and pined after for over a decade. She was the woman who held onto his heart entirely, and he could recall the moment he knew he was in trouble when she appeared in his life for a third time. It had only taken one voluntary touch from her, a grasp to his wrist and a plea for him to stay, to know he would never part from her side again unless she requested it. The toll of her travels hit her all at once as she went limp in only a second. He would never let her fall, not while he could help it. He had to push himself and rush, but he had caught her. Then she looked at him and he couldn’t help but to smile. She was real, alive, and in his arms once more. They could do this. They would change their future. They had to, otherwise they wouldn’t have one.