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HAMLET (conflicted and exasperated)
“O serpent heart hid with a flowering face!
Did ever a dragon keep so fair a cave?
Beautiful tyrant, fiend angelical,
dove feather'd raven, wolvish-ravening lamb!
Despised substance of devinest show,
just opposite to what thou justly seemest -
A dammed saint, an honourable villain!
O nature, what hadst thou to do in hell
when thou didst bower the spirit of a fiend
In the mortal paradise of such sweet flesh?
Was ever a book containing such vile matter
so fairly bound? O, that deceit should dwell
in such a gorgeous palace. There’s no trust,
no faith, no honesty - it’s all perjured,
all forsworn, all naught, all dissembled.
What a piece of work is a man, though
there's a divinity that shapes our ends,
rough-hew them how we will.
Give me that man that is not passion's slave,
and I will wear him in my heart's core,
in my heart of heart. Yet in my heart
there is a different kind of fighting
that will not let me sleep, for these violent delights
have violent ends. Look now, the beauteous
moon in all its glory shines upon us,
the light of which is not unlike Ophelia’s fair glow.
But will what I confess have any meaning
while done under the shining moon?
For the moon is awfully inconsistent,
much like a woman’s love.
No, I will hold my tongue till morn
lest the devil hear and think my thoughts the same.
Resume morrow I shall, under the blaze of the midday sun,
Where I may utter the name of thee
who resembles it so closely one may
indeed think they are one and the same.
Now stars, hide your fires;
Let not your light see my black and deep desires.”
ROMEO enters the scene by popping his head through HAMLET’S open window.
ROMEO
“If you will not allow the stars to see,
then why not let me, Lord Hamlet?”
HAMLET (surprised)
“How did thou make thy way here? There art
guards at every corner!”
ROMEO
“I simply climbed up the castle vines, my lord.”
ROMEO climbs through the window to stand in HAMLET’S room.
HAMLET
“Aside: Ha, the castle seems no more to me
than an unweeded garden that grows to seed-
No matter, you are here now, but the question
remains of why I should explain myself.”
ROMEO
“I do not wish for you to explain, only
to understand that I have felt the same,
but also know that our doubts are traitors,
Lord Hamlet, and make us lose the good
we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.”
HAMLET
“Why should I take thy advice then,
I’ll have you know that there are more things
in Heaven and in Earth, Romeo,
than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”
ROMEO
“Because we are alike you and I - I
am also a man in love.”
HAMLET
“But are men any better, for we do
not love with our mind but with our eyes.”
ROMEO (with amusement)
“Oh so pessimistic about love,
and so wrong I am afraid to say.
Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind,
and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”
HAMLET
“Well what can thou declare about love,
considering our predicament?”
ROMEO
“I have seen many a thing that would be
frowned upon by the church and state, yet in
many cases that which is shown to bring
happiness is looked down upon by our rulers.
Hast thou been to the lovely city of
Florence before?"
HAMLET
“No, I am afraid I have never
had any reason to, what do my travels have
to do with the matter at hand?”
ROMEO
“It isn’t so much your travels as the city itself.
You see Florence condoned many actions
that the Catholic church and the state of Denmark
would most certainly find unlawful,
including the practice of sodomy.
In Florence, men and women were indeed
allowed to have partners of the same sex.
I tell you, I have never seen a
city, nor met a people, so lively.
Sadly those times of joy did not
last for very long, the officers of
the night were then formed, were being formed
perhaps even during my visit!
They busted into houses and spit upon couples,
then dragged them, the majority still unclothed,
for all the city to see. Many were
charged with sodomy, many were convicted.
Outrageous! Put to death for something so private.”
HAMLET
“It is not private if He can see it,
and He possesses the capability
to see and hear everything, therefore
nothing is private-”
ROMEO (forcefully)
“And what of thy thoughts, they are neither
seen nor heard-”
HAMLET
“We are not discussing the matter of
my thoughts, we were speaking of the practice
of sodomy in Florence.”
ROMEO
“But weren’t they exactly what started
us on this parallel? Why dost thou hide
thy conflictions and internalize thy
burdens, my lord?”
HAMLET (bitterly)
“Because I do not want to end up like
those Florentine lovers, dragged and beaten
for a mere kiss on thy cheek.”
ROMEO
“So thou dost not object to the action,
but only the consequences it could conjure?”
HAMLET (hurriedly)
“I beg thy pardon? I fear thou art
putting words into my mouth, I do not
condone sodomy in any way, nor
do I condone thine amorous behavior,
I bid thee leave me now.”
ROMEO
“Good sir I must refuse, not until I
catch just one more glimpse of what lies beneath
thy facade. Do not try to hide thine thoughts
from me, I can see right through your masks.
Though I do not blame thy thoughts.”
HAMLET
“I should have thou beheaded for that comment.”
ROMEO
“Which head, my lord?”
HAMLET
“Both if thou dost not take thy leave this instant.”
ROMEO
“It’s understandable that thou would
not want to soil thy own sheets, but that
aside, I shall leave thee to rest now with
thy sheets unsoiled. However, I can
not promise they will stay that way for
long my good sir.”
HAMLET shoves ROMEO towards the window from which he entered.
ROMEO
“Did my words spur you into action, pretty boy?”
HAMLET
“You speak an infinite amount of nothing,
pretty boy. You should take leave the same way
that you came, it would arouse suspicion
otherwise.”
ROMEO
“I do agree, though I have to say you
flatter me, my lord. However I do
have a name, if you would so care to
refer to it.”
HAMLET
“Most certainly, ‘tis ‘a royal pain in my ass.’ ”
ROMEO
“Ha, if only I were indeed a royal,
what a glorious life I could live!”
HAMLET
“Trust me, expectation is the root of
all heartache. Make haste now, or thou risks
being caught.”
ROMEO moves his way down the vines, pausing a moment to look up and see HAMLET staring down at him. ROMEO leans in, a final attempt of sorts, only for HAMLET to press his fingers against ROMEO’S lips.
HAMLET
“Not in front of the stars, for they might not
like what they see.”
ROMEO
“The only stars I concern myself with
are the ones in thine eyes, and methinks they
like what they see. Good night, good night, my lord!
Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall
say goodnight till it be morrow.”
HAMLET (smiling faintly)
“Good night, Romeo, ‘till morrow.”