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It’s barely been a few days since they’ve all known each other, yet they were already close like a family. Maybe it was because of survival reasons that it went so fast, maybe it was because they’ve never been near a person for the last ten years, maybe it was because of pure boredom…
Or maybe it was because they were all the same fucking person.
Wilson, donned in a poor excuse for armour, stood proudly with a spear in his hand. He stared off into the distance, the sun still out but slowly going down. He didn’t know why he was doing this, all he knew was that he looked pretty damn cool doing it. Isn’t that all the motivation you need?
Another Wilson sat down on a log, talking about the fucker who brought them all here in the first place. Unlike what Wilson’s usually do, this one reminisced about him with a smile. His way of words almost made the tall bastard sound.. nice. Handsome, even. One might think this Wilson was just a tad bit gay and guess what! You’d be right.
“Thank you for listening… Frozen Wilson.” The Gay Wilson said with a smile.
Frozen Wilson did what he did best. He froze. No one knew how, when or why this particular Wilson was frozen, or where he even fucking came from, but he was a good listener. One day he’ll die, but he’ll die knowing your secrets. He knows all. Infact, as you’re reading this, he’s slowly moving his unblinking wide eyes to face you. You’re lonely and sad. You should tell him a tale. Tell him all your lies and tricks, tell him what you’ve done. He will die knowing your secrets, but the question is if you’ll ever live long enough to know he’s dead. Today is a nice day.
In the room filled with ice boxes was, you guessed it, another Wilson! He had a straw hat that he absolutely hated (his poor hair!), but wore anyway. Rummaging through two ice boxes, he has already eaten most of the food. But can you blame him? The title is literally Don’t Starve! He’s doing his job pretty well, as far as he’s concerned. He had no idea how to make food that was actually worthwhile, so the crock pot was left to collect dust.
He sighed, closing the ice box. Wilson felt pretty fine now, anyway. It’s not like he ever went out to actually fight anything, so health was never a concern. All he did was pick grass and chop wood, but he’s helping! This team of absolute dumbasses wouldn’t be complete without him! Putting a hand to his chin, he walked further away from the ice boxes. What to do...
“How ya doin’, Wilson?” a chipper voice replied directly behind Absolute Shithead Wilson.
“STARS AND ATOMS-” Absolute Shithead Wilson screamed, turning around and backing away “Why do you do that!? That’s the fifteenth time and we’ve only seen each other for five days!”
The Wilson from behind giggled. This one was an anomaly, with his weird goggles and even crazier hair than the other Wilson’s. Infact, he was really nothing any other Wilson would be. He had a lab coat and a cheerful but mischievous grin. This Wilson? Was absolutely cursed. Cursed, but still a friend.
“‘Cause it’s funny! Plus, you scream like a little girl.” Dumbass Wilson laughed, readjusting his goggles. No one’s ever seen his eyes and everyone’s too afraid to ask.
“This is bullying..” the other Wilson grumbled, going into the main room where all the other Wilson’s (except from Wilson That’s Most Like Wilson, who was still staring at the sun and slowly becoming blind) were. Wilson looked at the science machine like it was his nonexistent wife and reached to gently touch it. They didn’t even need a science machine anymore, they had a damn alchemy machine, but the Wilson’s couldn’t get rid of it because they knew Absolute Shithead Wilson would go apeshit if they did.
“...” Frozen Wilson looked at the science machine. He could feel it’s pain.
“So then, I walked down the fabled country roads..” The Gay(est) Wilson started, sharing a tale of hardships, I II II I_ and a little bit of love. Little did he know, no one was listening.
“Don’t worry.. It’ll all be okay. You can never be replaced…” Absolute Shithead Wilson whispered to the science machine, hugging it. He almost sounded like he was trying to reassure himself.
“Gamers! It’s almost night time.” it just became dawn “I think I’ll go for a lie down. Night!” What? He dropped on the floor and fell asleep. Every Wilson glanced at him, before going back to what they were doing.
“See you, space cowboy.” The Gay Wilson sighed, like this was a common occurrence.
Dumbass Wilson was in the room next to the dozens of ice boxes. This room had nothing in it, except from the alchemy machine standing in all its former glory in the middle. You see, when the Wilson’s first made the alchemy machine, they made a terrible mistake. They made it next to the science machine. When all of the other Wilson’s were gone, collecting things and actually doing important stuff, Absolute Shithead Wilson was outraged and set fire to it. Then they had to build another home. Don’t ask how they’ve done all this in the five days they’ve known each other, it’s story logic.
Wilson noticed a blueprint resting on the alchemy machine and looked at it. Golly gee, that sure was a blueprint! It seemed to make.. a top? Dumbass Wilson was very happy with his current look already, but he decided to give it a go anyway. Wait- He needed spider glands for this. Welp, nevermind then. The last time The Wilson’s™ tried to find spiders, they almost searched the whole server and still found nothing. So instead of whatever this was, he made a ham bat. He felt very tempted to eat it (for science! his brain told him, and he’s a genius who should always listen to his brain), but he had to stop himself. What would the other Wilson’s say if he brought out a half eaten weapon to fight? Surely, using food to attack would be a dumb idea in the first place, but it was surprisingly effective. He walked back to everyone else.
It didn’t take long before night fell. Time flies when you’re fucking dumb. Wilson That’s Most Like Wilson woke up, his sleeping schedule now fucked. The Gay Wilson lit the fire in the fire pit and stared at the flames dully. Absolute Shithead Wilson had now departed from the science machine, sitting on another log next to Frozen Wilson. Frozen Wilson froze. Dumbass Wilson blabbered on about some stupid shit, skipping in glee around the Wilson’s. Awfully weird chap, that one.
“Sooo….” Wilson’s were known for being awkward in conversations, especially starting them. While, no one here is truly the og Wilson, they still have some characteristics that carried over.
“I’ll kill ten spiders all by myself! No.. fifteen! Wait, no, five hundred!” Dumbass Wilson plotted to get himself killed again.
“I got a body count of twenty yesterday and even that was hellish. You definitely couldn’t fight off five hundred!” Wilson That’s Most Like Wilson argued, not looking up from his book. Unfortunately, he’s not Wickerbottom. Wilson’s can’t fucking read.
“I totally could! Watch me!!” he ran out of the camp. Five seconds later, a ghost sadly floated defeated hovered over to the others.
Absolute Shithead Wilson clutched his head, as if he was already insane, which to be fair- “Wes damn it! You just died yesterday!”
Dumbass Wilson shrugged his nonexistent shoulders. The Gay Wilson ran over to the tent before anyone else could occupy it, just to see Frozen Wilson already here. How the fuck. He couldn’t even use the tent! His whole body is encased in a block of ice! The Gay Wilson slept in the tent anyway, but it wasn’t comfortable at all. If anything, it was really unsettling. And cold.
The next morning, most of the Wilson’s were up and early. Wilson That’s Most Like Wilson ran off to actually do stuff normal people do in Don’t Starve, Dumbass Wilson followed him, Frozen Wilson was near the now empty fire pit, probably desperate for any way of escaping, Absolute Shithead Wilson was eating all the food and The Gay Wilson had.. oddly never left the tent. Excited gasps were the only thing heard inside and Absolute Shithead Wilson was too scared to even think about what was going on in there.
Blah blah timeskip because if you can’t tell Absolute Shithead Wilson is me and I don’t know what regular people do in DST.
After a day of hell, the Wilson’s regrouped around the campfire. Except from The Gay Wilson. Apparently, he wanted all of the Wilson’s to see whatever the hell he’s made and wanted it to be a surprise. He actually seemed really happy about it! The Wilson’s were especially interested, whatever made one Wilson happy should make another happy too, right? The days were long and hard (The Gay Wilson laughed at the thought), so any sort of happiness was craved.
“Y’all ready for this??” and then suddenly, the tent was dramatically opened like a curtain. The Gay Wilson strutted forward with motions no one asked for, but he was smiling so what was the harm? He.. had a stubble! He looked smug about it, which to be fair, he had every right to be. All the Wilson’s gasped, before smiling. Having a beard was already an achievement, since dying was very very common. The only reason Absolute Shithead Wilson didn’t have one was because they joined the game a day late. Nevertheless, they’re proud!
“I finally feel like a real man-” no Wilson was blind enough to not see the tears coming from him. Dumbass Wilson, no longer a ghost, tackled The Gay Wilson Who Now Has A Beard into a hug, nearly knocking him down. Soon, all the Wilson’s joined in for a group hug. Except from Frozen Wilson, he was smiling but still trying to move to the fire. How rude.
Praise flowed through them and all of the Wilson’s found themselves smiling tonight. Even Absolute Shithead Wilson was being less of a shithead. Dumbass Wilson excused himself to go do something and no one questioned it. He always did stuff like that. The Wilson’s shared dumb stories around the campfire in the meantime, like they usually do. A few minutes later, Dumbass Wilson teleported into the room, like he normally does! It startled everyone, but he did it anyway. Seeing the reactions on their faces were priceless to him.
“Soo, I saw these blueprints and I made a thing!” he smiled and held up something the rest of the Wilson’s couldn’t really fathom, all except one.
“Holy fuck-” The Gay Wilson Who Now Has A Beard smiled even more and rushed up to Dumbass Wilson, extending a hand. Dumbass Wilson still smiled and looked slightly confused, but gave it to him. The Gay Wilson Who Now Has A Beard went into the tent and came out a few seconds later, still really happy.
“It fits perfectly, thanks dude!” it seemed to really be The Gay Wilson Who Now Has A Beard’s lucky day today! All the Wilson’s decided that tomorrow would be the most fun day possible, which turned out to be the fateful day of when the Husband Box was made. However, most important of all, Frozen Wilson froze.