Chapter Text
“This isn’t what I want.”
“Don’t contact me again.”
***
Dancing between the tables, damp cloth in hand, Chan spun, diligently wiping down each one. He hummed along quietly to the music on the radio on a cold February afternoon, his mind clear of any nettlesome troubles. He heard his coworker singing loudly yet pleasantly back in the kitchen and let out a small laugh while returning to his post behind the counter.
Snow was falling in blankets outside the warm breakfast diner, leaving the establishment virtually empty spare a few kids playing games together on their handhelds. They had finished eating over an hour ago, but Chan enjoyed the extra company. He approached them, taking their empty cups to refill. While he brought their drinks back, he saw his coworker prancing into the dining room with a sandwich.
“I’m taking my break early since it’s dead,” the coworker justified.
“What’re you drinking?” Chan asked, facing the fountain drinks.
“Diet Coke.”
Chan swiftly brought his friend the drink and sat down next to him with his own. Although, moments later, the bell sounded, signaling a new customer. Without hesitation, Chan stood up and patted down his apron, glaring towards the front door.
“Welco—”
He couldn’t believe his eyes.
No, that isn’t him. There’s no way he could be here.
But the shape of his eyes…the way his flows…those full lips…it was unmistakable.
“Soonyoung?” Chan choked, sure that his mind was playing tricks on him.
The stranger smiled, and when he saw his round teeth, there was no way it could have been anyone else.
“Is that really you?” Chan questioned, more to himself than anyone else.
He took a step closer to the stranger, in utter disbelief. The stranger, on the other hand, was beaming with joy. Several images of memories flashed in Chan’s mind, both delightful and heartbreaking.
“I thought I might see you here,” Soonyoung said.
“Wow, it’s been so long.”
Chan was astonished. It was akin to seeing a dolphin in the middle of a desert. What is he doing here?
Soonyoung opened up his arms in invitation for a hug, and Chan reluctantly accepted. In his embrace, he felt an onrush of memories, making him light-headed. So many conflicting feelings made a war in his head and he stepped away from Soonyoung.
“What brings you here? Wait, take a seat first and I’ll bring you a drink,” he fumbled, rushing back to the kitchen for a breath.
Why is he here? Why did he have to come here?
I never thought I’d see him again.
Taking a deep breath in attempt to coax himself, Chan rubbed his sweaty palms on his white apron. He spun around to walk out of the door but instead got it pushed into his body as his coworker skeptically entered the kitchen. A panicked Chan stepped back, his eyes wide as he glared into his friend’s eyes.
“Are you okay?”
“Josh…” Chan started, gazing out the door’s window frantically. “That’s my ex.”
“Do I need to kick him out?”
“No, that’s not necessary. I just need to regain some composure… I never thought I would see him again.”
“Was that a good thing?” Josh asked, trying to grip some sort of understanding.
“Yes… Well, no. Actually—”
“I understand now,” Josh put his hands on Chan’s shoulders. “You’ll be fine. And if not, I’m here, and I’m not afraid to throw hands.”
Chan smiled and nodded, stepping back out into the dining room, his hand over his heart, feeling it beat against his fingers, yearning for it to slow down.
“Sorry about that, what can I get you to drink?”
“Just water is fine,” Soonyoung replied. Hearing that voice again felt inexplicably familiar and alien at the same time.
Chan placed the drink in front of Soonyoung and sat down across from him.
“So, what brings you here?”
“I wanted to see you,” Soonyoung replied frankly.
His heart showed no signs of slowing, and he couldn’t keep his palms from sweating profusely. Soonyoung’s dark eyes were so fantastically alluring, his big lips seductive as ever. And they were here for him.
“Well, I’m here,” Chan laughed awkwardly, unable to maintain eye contact.
“Chan,” Soonyoung reached out his hand, “I’ve really missed you. I’ve known for so long that the first thing I was going to do once I graduated was to come see you.”
Glaring at Soonyoung’s hand, pondering how unwelcoming it appeared, he wasn’t buying Soonyoung’s act. He was an absolute master of words and could use his talent to get anything he wanted.
“You certainly didn’t have that mindset when we were still together,” Chan uttered loudly enough for Soonyoung to hear, yet still failing to look into those mysterious black eyes.
Soonyoung sighed in disappointment. “You must understand why things happened the way they did.”
“I don’t understand, Soonyoung, why cheating on me seemed like a logical and viable option,” Chan shockingly stood his ground, breaking his own expectations of his behavior.
“Chan, that’s my biggest regret in my entire life. Please hear me, I would never do that to you again in a million lifetimes,” Soonyoung pleaded.
With all his strength, Chan looked into the eyes of his ex. “I want you to leave me alone.”
Soonyoung opened his mouth to speak, but no words came. He stood up and made his way to the door. Chan’s gaze remained still, on the clean tabletop.
“I’ll be back, Chan,” were Soonyoung’s final words before closing the diner’s door behind him.
Chan was shaking. The last group of young customers departed, leaving Chan and Josh alone in the diner. Josh joined him in the dining room, taking the seat next to him.
“Don’t worry about him,” his friend consoled him, rubbing his back gently.
Chan didn’t hear Josh. He couldn’t have, because he was lost in his head, relaying every happy and painful memory of Soonyoung back.
Later, when Chan’s shift was over. He trudged through the dismal snowy landscape, regretting not wearing a bigger scarf. His nose felt like an ice cube.
When he finally made it to his dorm, he walked in and set his backpack and shoes on the floor and let the large metal door shut behind him. He peered upward to find his roommate Jimin sitting lazily on the couch, wrapped up in every blanket in the dorm, game controller in hand, playing video games on his PS4.
“How was work?” Jimin asked, his gaze remaining on the television.
“Soonyoung showed up,” said Chan bluntly, taking a rest next to Jimin on the couch.
Jimin paused the game, glaring at him with a wildly confused countenance. “Soonyoung, like your ex Soonyoung?”
Chan nodded wordlessly, an expression of inner turmoil on his face.
“W—What the heck is he doing here? Isn’t he supposed to be off at some fancy university far away?”
“He graduated last semester. And he said he’s here for me.”
“That’s crazy. You think he wants to get back together?”
“It sounds like it,” said he disappointedly.
“Are you going to tell Brian?”
Silence enveloped Chan.
“Chan, you have to tell Brian!” Jimin exclaimed.
“Brian doesn’t have to know!”
“Your current boyfriend doesn’t have to know that your ex-boyfriend showed up completely unsolicited with plans to get back together with you?”
“Exactly!” Chan shouted, on the verge of tears. “I didn’t ask for any of this.” He covered his face with his hands.
Jimin moved the blankets so that they covered them both and gave him a hug.
“I won’t let him hurt you,” said Jimin, rocking his friend back and forth.
“Jimin…”
“Yeah?”
“You can’t even manage to protect yourself against boys who break your heart!”
“Don’t bring him into this! I swear, he has good intentions!”
Chan sniffled, pulling his friend tight.
“Jimin?”
“Yes?”
“Can we play Mario Kart?”
“Yes, Chan. I’ll go get the other controller.”