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“They’re at it again, Hux,” Phasma said, pointing out Hux’s kitchen window.
Hux’s garden was his prize and joy. He’d been cultivating the rose bushes for years, and had invested an obscene amount of money in bulbs. His garden had been featured in several magazines, and had earned landmark status a few years ago. And then Pokemon Go had happened. A pokestop had appeared in his back yard, and he’d not had any luck yet in getting the company to remove it. Ever since the game had started, that meant he had people hovering next to his fence, and invariably some fool would hop over it to cross the final few feet that allowed them to reach it.
He’d posted No Trespassing signage all along his fence, but it had done no good. Last fall, instead of picking out his next additions from his various gardening catalogues, he’d invested in a trespasser deterrent system.
“Got your phone ready?” Hux asked as he joined Phasma at the window. There was a motley group out on the sidewalk, a young black man holding hands with another fellow, rather good looking, with curly hair and olive skin. There was a also tiny brunette and two Asian girls, and hovering over them all was one of Hux’s repeat offenders.
“Oh, look, that menace has brought friends,” Hux growled. “Well, you’re in for a surprise, you hulking brute.”
He’d yelled at the man on several occasions and had gotten flipped off in response, so he took great pleasure in pulling out his phone and opening up the new app.
“Ready?” he asked Phasma.
“Ready for what?”
“Are you filming yet?”
Phasma tapped her phone screen. “I am now.”
“Okay. Take this, you insufferable prick.”
There was a chorus of shrieks as Hux’s new automated sprinkler system kicked on. The giant man had one leg over the fence and took the brunt of it. It was a sunny day, but cool, and the water even cooler. Hux grinned as the group scattered.
“Worth every penny,” he declared. “I’m going to set it up with motion detectors this weekend. Solar powered lights, too, to catch the little shits that try to sneak in at night.”
“You are an absolute bastard, Hux.”
“I know. Isn’t that why you’re friends with me?”
“Probably, yes.”
As they watched, the big one shook himself like a dog, water droplets spraying everywhere. Then, despite the chill, he stripped off his shirt and wrung it out.
“You’re drooling, Hux,” Phasma said, elbowing him in the ribs.
He’d deny it, but he’d be lying. “Are you still filming?” Hux asked.
“No, I quit after they backed off.”
“Well, start again, dammit.”
“Going to wank off to it tonight?”
“You’re insufferable.”
“Isn’t that why you like me?” Phasma winked at him as she turned her words back on him, but started filming again.
One the others pointed towards the kitchen window and said something to the big man. He turned to look, and flipped them off when he saw them watching.
“Think they’ll be back?” Phasma asked as the group started walking down the street.
“Without a doubt.”
“Think he’ll take his shirt off again?”
“One can only hope.” He might have to think about setting up motion activated cameras to go along with the lights. Maybe he’d put together a video compilation. It might go viral on YouTube.
“Well, now that we’ve had our little test run, how about that brunch you promised me?”
“You mean the brunch you told me I was making you? Really, Phasma.”
They continued to bicker, moving away from the window. As soon as they disappeared, Hux’s nemesis snuck over the fence and jabbed at his phone, then hopped back over, pumping his fist in the air in triumph. His friends clapped him on the back as he rejoined them. Giving Hux’s house a raised finger in salute, he led the way down the block.