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As soon as Gray’s front door clicked shut behind him, he fell to the floor, head impacting painfully with the wall next to him. He did not feel it, and Gray idly wondered if the numbness was the worst part of it all; if feeling something, even if it was nothing but hurt, would be better than the gaping hole expanding through his chest.
The effort to stand was too great, too much, and Gray briefly considered whether it would be worth just staying there on the floor until the morning. Instead he groaned as he pulled himself to his feet, the small action making his body ache in strange ways. The stinging behind his eyes was familiar, but he fought it off ardently, determined to at least go a day without crying. Staggering into the kitchen, Gray’s jaw clenched as he slammed a glass onto the table and filled it with liquor.
He hated feeling like this, feeling this weakness build and overflow until it was consuming him, and he became a stain in his own body, barely recognisable. The alcohol did not help, not truly, but it was an escape, one of the few he knew, and he had using it for so long that it was as close to comfort as he seemed to get.
There was a rattle at his front door, but it did not startle him; his brain was too exhausted to care much about intruders, as his magic was stronger than most already. His keys were still jammed into the hole, preventing the other person from using their set, and it was clear then that he was not being broken into, that the only person who owned a set of keys for his apartment had followed him home.
And so Gray was presented with the true conflict of depression, the feeling of gratitude at being noticed and cared for rivalled by the feelings of frustration and self-loathing that you need to be checked up on; that you need to be needed.
When Natsu swung his door open with force, Gray threw a glare in his direction, and the smaller boy scoffed at him, taking long strides until they were stood together, nose to nose, Gray staring at him with defiance as he raised his glass to his parted lips and drank the remaining contents. Before the glass had touched the table, Natsu had snatched it from Gray’s fingers, his hands harsh but his gaze soft.
“That’s enough.”
The words were simple, and yet held a tenderness within them which Gray had yearned for. Once again the tears threatened to spill, and instead of choking them back Gray falls into Natsu’s shoulder, letting the other man smooth back his hair and whisper in his ear that everything will be alright.
And for once, Gray believed it.