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If he hadn't frozen up in surprise, he would have dropped his bowl of Lucky Charms all over the pristine cream carpet. Fortunately, he kept a hold of it - Edgeworth was annoyed enough at having the box of Lucky Charms contaminating his otherwise mature and sophisticated cereal cupboard, never mind having them all over the floor. He'd just come through to the lounge to put the early morning news on, only to find the entire sofa was taken up by the sprawl of a gangly, black-haired young girl, who lay on her back fast asleep and snoring her head off. She was fully clothed, thankfully, or the Lucky Charms really would have ended up all over the floor.
Having gotten over the initial shock of the sight of her, he stood in the doorway and speculated on who she was and why she was here in Edgeworth's house. He was no stranger to having a girl crashing on his sofa - there was a distinct Maya imprint on his one at the office - but he knew for a fact that Edgeworth was utterly terrified of most women, however gentlemanly he may behave towards them. And, well, unless Edgeworth had been lying to him for the last six months they had been together, and was a cradle-snatcher to boot, for she looked nearly half his age, then she couldn't be a girlfriend he'd opted not to mention.
This left two other explanations, one of which was fairly unlikely given Edgeworth was an only child and so were both his parents - therefore the chances of her being a relative were pretty minimal, so only one explanation was left. It made him grin - no wonder Edgeworth hadn't mentioned her to him, he knew what a ribbing he'd get for finally having gotten himself an assistant.
"You gonna say hi or keep gawking at me?"
Phoenix jumped, some primal and reflexive part of him acting to stick his leg out to catch the worst of the Lucky Charm spillage.
"Uh, uh, hi!" he grinned sheepishly as milk started seeping through his pajama leg. "I..."
The girl chuckled, swinging her long legs sideways to sit up on the sofa.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump - although hey, you really did think I was asleep! The snore is pretty convincing, huh?"
"Is feigning sleep something you do on a regular basis?" Phoenix looked sideways at her, picking a stray Lucky Charm off his pajama leg and popping it into his mouth. Now she was sitting up he could see the odd badge she wore on her scarf (how she hadn't strangled herself in her sleep with that, he couldn't guess).
The girl yawned, stretching her skinny arms up in the air. "More often than I'd like - this is one of the few places where I can actually get a good kip."
"So... are you Edgeworth's assistant?" he finally asked the question.
She grinned in response. "Yup, much as he hates to admit it."
Phoenix had to laugh at that. "I bet he does!"
"All the more reason to introduce myself as such to people who know him - he gets so embarrassed that it's hilarious. So yeah, my name's Kay Faraday," she stood up and stuck her hand out, "and it's nice to meet you at last, Mister Wright."
They shook hands, Phoenix feeling a little odd having this introduction while he was still in his pajamas with his breakfast cereal in hand.
"If I'd known you were coming then I might have been more suitably dressed - my apologies," he said.
Kay waved it off with a smile. "Don't worry, you could say that turning up unannounced is kind of a specialty of mine," she winked.
That was when Phoenix realised that he and Edgeworth had slept soundly through the night without the burglar alarm going off.
"Uhh... do you have a key to this place?" he asked.
"This is the only key I've ever needed," Kay pointed at the large key in her hair, far too large for any of the doors in this house.
Phoenix was starting to get more of an idea of what she was about, now. So the badge she wore of the three-legged crow wasn't just an ornament. How on earth had Edgeworth gotten to know a girl like her?
"You totally need to tell me the story of how you and Edgeworth met, sometime," he said, sitting himself on the sofa and switching the TV on.
"It's a good story," Kay laughed.
"And one you're never, ever going to tell a soul, understood?" Edgeworth stood at the doorway in his baby pink silk pajamas, a grumpy expression on his face and bed hair that would've put Will Powers' lion mane to shame.
"Oh, hey, Mister Edgeworth!" Kay beamed at him. "Here I was about to tell Mister Wright all the good stories about our adventures!"
"You'll do nothing of the sort," he humphed, shuffling into the kitchen to put the kettle on. Contrary to what others might believe, he was not a morning person in the slightest, in comparison to Phoenix who was often up with the larks.
"So, about this lovely assistant of yours," Phoenix began with a grin, knowing he was totally pushing his luck ribbing his lover at this time of the morning but unable to resist such a golden opportunity.
"What about this thoroughly disreputable individual who has probably hacked my alarm system into nonfunctionality for the third time this quarter?" Edgeworth ran his fingers over the tea caddies in his cupboard.
"Hey, it should still work!" Kay protested. "I made some improvements to Little Thief!"
"So how come we've never been introduced, yet you've told her all about me?"
Edgeworth shrugged, putting tea leaves in the tea strainer.
"You were going to cross paths eventually - may as well put off the inevitable despair over the meeting of two impulsive and incorrigible personalities for as long as possible."
"Impulsive? Incorrigible?" Kay sounded affronted. "More like indispensable! Intelligent! Incredible, in fact!"
"Never mind indispensable, you're indefensible. Now eat your breakfast," Edgeworth pulled a swiss roll packet out of the cupboard and threw it at her. She caught it one handed with a grin. "Are you here for any particular reason besides leaking completely untrue and obviously fabricated tales about me to Wright?"
Phoenix nearly snorted milk out of his nose in response to that.
"Ah, well," Kay cleared her throat, a wicked gleam in her eye. "I did stop by late last night, 'cause I had some information for you. But, well, y'know, you guys were... busy," she said nonchalantly.
The two men exchanged glances, and Edgeworth flushed to the roots of his bangs, Phoenix hiding his own red cheeks behind his bowl of Lucky Charms. Then Kay started laughing.
"Sorry, bad timing on my part - was bound to happen one day!"
"You're a terrible human being and you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself, not that you've ever had any shame for as long as I've known you," Edgeworth sighed. "Between you, Gumshoe and Wright I'm amazed I've kept my sanity, really."
"It makes life more interesting?" Phoenix suggested.
"You would totally be a boring old fuddy-duddy otherwise," Kay was matter-of-fact.
"That's true," Phoenix conceded.
Edgeworth poured his tea with a sigh. "I knew this was what it'd be like if the two of you met. I'm just never going to catch a break now."
"Pah!" Kay scoffed. "You give as good as you get, and you know it. I could give Mister Wright loads of great stories but even with all that ammunition I bet you win any verbal test of wits."
"He does, frequently," Phoenix said sadly, finishing off his cereal.
"I automatically win, because I'm not the one eating cereal aimed at children aged five," Edgeworth was smug.
"Negated by your thorough enjoyment of a children's television show," Phoenix shot back.
"Oh, you want to wheel this old chestnut of a debate out again, do you?" Edgeworth sipped his tea, regarding his partner with a steady gaze. "We know what happened last time, don't we?"
"I don't, but now I'm curious," Kay chuckled, then sat back with her swiss roll to enjoy witnessing a breakfast-time debate that was far more entertaining than anything on the television.
[End]