Work Text:
“You’re a coward.”
The words stabbed into Spot Conlon’s retreating back, jerking him around to face the other boy. When he spoke, his tone was laced with barely contained malice.
“Excuse me?”
Despite every nerve in his body telling him to run, Racetrack Higgins squared his shoulders and held his ground. He glared down into Spot’s face, a stubborn set to his jaw.
“I think youse heard me jus’ fine.”
Spot abandoned all pretense of walking away, Race’s contemptuous words filling his ears as he grabbed a fistful of the taller boy’s collar, yanking him back against the wall. His breath came out in short bursts as he watched Race’s eyes dilate in fear and shock.
Just as quickly, however, they went back to the way they were before, flashing angrily up at him. The close proximity was not lost on Race.
“Oh, so now’s you wants to get close to me? Not when I wants to be wit’ you, or when I wants to kiss ya. Just when you wants to soak me ‘cause you can’t face the fucking truth.”
Anger and hurt coursed hot through Spot’s veins. He shoved the boy further up against the wall, speaking through clenched teeth.
“Shuddup, Racer. I’m not gonna soak ya. An’ I’m not fucking scared, o’ anything.”
Race straightened up fully, shoving back against the arm holding him in place.
“Say that when youse not holdin’ me up against the damn wall, Spotty.”
Despite the fond nickname, his tone was sharp, his smile becoming bitter as he continued.
“An’ I know youse scared. I know it. If you weren’t scared, we wouldn’t fuckin’ be here. Tha only place you’ll get close to me is in this here, your private room in Brooklyn.” He drew the last word out like it left a bad taste in his mouth.
Spot opened his mouth to retaliate, to defend himself, but Race wasn’t done.
“Oh wait, I forgot. There’s two places you’ll touch me. The otha’ one’s any goddamn back alleyway with the rats for company. Pretty fuckin’ romantic don’tcha think?”
All the anger drained out of Spot, leaving only exhaustion and guilt behind. He lifted his arm away from Race, stepping back to let the other boy slide off the wall. A cold, hard lump filled his throat, one that no amount of swallowing would make disappear.
“Race, I-.” He grimaced, rubbing at his forehead as if that would help him find the words to say.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. ‘S just, the boys here, they don’-“
“Yeah, I knows all about the boys here,” Race cut in. “I knows they’s your friends, an’ youse they leader. Sometimes I even thinks they’s my friends too. If they’s really our friends, they’d understand.”
“Race-“
The other boy burst into motion. “No Spot! We’se newsies! An’ newsies is loyal! Newsies don’t turn on fellow newsies no matter what. You really think they’d care? I’m not sayin’ we have to be cuddlin’ up on the streets in front a everyone, I fuckin’ knows that’s dangerous. But here? In the lodge house, Brooklyn n’ Manhattan? All I want is you! I jus’ want to be able to be wit’ you.”
Race looked up at Spot, expecting something, anything, but he just stared at the ground, saying nothing.
Race stepped back, shaking his head. He turned to the door, one hand on the knob before he felt a firm grip on his sleeve.
“Spot-“
Before he could say another word, Spot embraced him. Race stiffened for a moment before slowly melting into his arms.
After a moment, the two boys separated. Spot held Race out at arm’s length, his eyes soft.
“I’m sorry Racer. Youse right. I’s been scared. I’s been selfish.”
Race put his hand on Spot’s arm, rubbing in soothing circles as the other boy drooped his head. “Hey. Spotty. It’s okay, I jus’ wants to be able to be wit’ you, almost all the times. I knows what we feel, it’s- it’s illegal. But it feels right, don’t it?”
Spot nodded, before lowering his mouth to Race’s in a soft kiss. When he pulled away, he took Race’s hand.
“Youse right Racer. Okay? Tonight it’s late, but tomorrow, we’ll tell the boys.”
Race looked up at him, an uncertain smile creeping over his face. “Youse sure?”
“Yeah Racer, I’s sure. We’ll tell the Brooklyn boys and then we’ll go an’ tell the ‘Hattan boys too.”
The other boy frowned. “I can jus’ tell ‘em tonight, or tomorrow when youse telling your newsies.”
Spot shook his head. “We’ll tell ‘em together Racer. An’ you can’t tell them tonight or tomorrow morning, ‘cause youse staying here tonight.”
Race blinked, but nodded. “Okay Spotty.” He let himself be led over to the bed, laying down with Spot climbing in next to him. As they curled up under the blankets together, stealing each other’s warmth and lips every few moments, both boys felt content.
Even all alone under the cover of darkness, for the first time, they felt like they could be honest with the rest of the world.
As long as they had each other, they’d be okay.