Chapter Text
Wei Wuxian had realized in the past 4 years that Lan Zhan had been a lonely soul for the longest time. Four years of marriage had made him aware of how much he needed to reassure his husband that he was real.
Shizui came running to the pair seated among rabbits, enjoying the morning sun. He bowed to both of them “ greetings senior Wei, Hanguang Jun, I have a message from sect leader regarding an issue. He wishes to see Hanguang Jun in the main library hall.”
Just as Shizui rushed to leave Wei Wuxian spoke up. “My my so little consideration for poor old me. I expected you to miss me at least a little bit kid.”
Shizui blushed and gave Wei Ying an awkward smile “I’m s..ssorry senior Wei but I have a few more messages to deliver.”
Wei Wuxian gave a warm smile and said “No harm done, but I do expect you to join us for tea this evening”
He sent both of them away and returned to the beautiful little cottage that they called their own. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji spend almost three and a half of their married years travelling the world. Having just come back to cloud recess Wei Wuxian was still settling in and getting used to the people. His husband’s uncle was still the hardest to get used to. Even though he has disapproved of their marriage since the starting, he had started to thaw a little bit seeing his nephew so happy.
Having gotten bored, Wei Wuxian decided to go into the storage room of the cottage that they never opened. He had once asked Lan Zhan what was in the room, he had looked at him with a twinge of sadness and said “memories”. Wei Wuxian had immediately associated it with his mother’s belongings and never asked again. Curiosity got the better of him and he decided to take a look before his husband returned.
The door creaked slightly due to years to unuse. He stepped inside to reveal a dusty old bedroom with a large bed in the middle. Even through the layers of dust he could see the fine silk that covered the bed. Upon further inspection the room itself seem richer. A few silver vases on the bedside table, a large golden painting of chrysanthemums, an ornate mirror and few other silk robes. Showering her with riches to fill the void left by love. What a damaged concept.
He walked around bumped into a table filled with silk curtains. They looked relatively new and did not have as much dust on them compared to the rest of the room. Before he could inspect he could hear voices outside the cottage and decided to postpone the inspection for later. He knew Lan Zhan wouldn’t scold him for snooping but he was worried it would bring back the sad memories.
He waved at the two most lovely men in his life with a blinding smile. Lan Zhan’s mouth curved up in a tiny smile on their own volition. “Wei Ying, there has been a little bit trouble with a smaller cultivation clan and I have to leave to take diplomatic measures.” He look at Wei Ying with a probing look. Wei Ying knew he would stay and send someone else if he asked him to, but choose not to. His uncle does need to understand that his marriage to Wei Ying will not affect his duties to the clan. He gave Lan Zhan a huge smile and laced their fingers together. The rest of the evening was spend drinking tea and Wei Ying teasing poor Shizui. Lan Zhan left shortly with promises of emperor’s smile and a breathless kiss that had Wei Ying reeling from it even after some time.
Tossing and turning did not help him sleep. He had gotten used to a warm body every night beside him that it felt empty tonight. He though for a while and decided to inspect the storage room further. He ventured in and went straight for the pile of silk and began to dust it. A few closed enveloped fell off of the fold of the silk. Wei Ying picked it up and saw no name on the envelopes. After contemplating for a full minute he decided to open them. He decided they were the letters written by Lan Zhan’s father to his mother. Their love story was a fabled tale and Wei Ying was curious and decided to read it.
“It’s summer. I did not realize that a complete year had passed. The spring blossoms are in full bloom and have coated the garden in an array of colours. You would have liked it. After all, your smile was always a little brighter than summer itself.
The days seem longer now that I no longer am beside by your side. The nights are spent wanting to hear your voice and realizing that I never will. The warm summer breeze does nothing to the chill that have settled over my bones. I dream of your every single night and wake up wishing that I hadn’t stopped dreaming. I play the strings hoping the wind carries the music to you. I read poems about love and wish I had a chance to love you in all those thousand ways.
It’s summer and I did not realize that a year had passed. A year without you. Lan Yuan is a year older and a diligent student. Every time he smiles and tugs on my leg, I see you in him. I wished for you to be here to watch him grow. I cursed the wind, the mountains and the seas for taking you away from me.
Wei Ying my love, when will I ever stop bleeding for you?”
Wei ying sat there on the floor a long time trying to understand. It was not his father’s, it was Lan Zhan’s writing. The paper looked quite old which meant he had written this when Wei Ying had been gone. There was a long silent moment of stabbing pain in his heart which refused to dissipate.
Wei Wuxian had known that Lan Zhan had mourned his death like a lover for the past 13 years. That he had been in pain. What he didn’t release was…. How much.