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“It’s hopeless,” Barry bemoaned as he dropped his forehead against the surface of the bar on Earth 38, head in his hands.
“Oh no, don’t say that,” Kara pled sympathetically as she rubbed his shoulder.
Truth was the Scarlet Speedster was in a pathetic state, miserable and wanting to escape his own problems with a day trip to another earth. Yes, it was mostly a self pity party, but Kara was kind enough to let that slide and entertain his wallowing.
Barry picked up his head again to look at his super friend with big sad eyes, “What if there’s nothing I can do?”
“You can’t think like that,” Kara insisted furrowing her brows determinedly.
“Yeah, you can’t think like that,” Mon-El’s voice cut in sliding a drink across the bar to him. But Barry got the distinct impression the Daxamite didn’t exactly know what he was agreeing with as Kara amusedly rolled her eyes in a way that made Mon-El grin before he turned his attention back to the luckless speedster, “Now are you sure you want to try this? I mean I know you said you have a hyper-metabolism thingy but this is a lot of alcohol.”
The other man chuckled awkwardly as Barry swished around the strange green alien drink in his glass before he simply shrugged and drained it. Coughing and sputtering as it burned down his throat in a way normal alcohols didn’t. Then stilled, waiting to feel the effects... anytime now... something....
“Nothing,” He grumbled setting the glass back on the counter.
“Nothing?” Kara and Mon-El repeated in unison exchanging a shocked look.
“I guess only Caitlin’s serum can--” He stopped short closing his eyes briefly with a groan. He couldn’t even drink to forget about her without thinking about her. She was truly the master of all things Barry Allen, from his metabolism to his heart. And she didn’t even know it.
Her deep and beautiful brown eyes danced across the back of his eyelids, her warm smile, and the fond crinkles that appeared when she did. And here he was a literal world away, well thirty-eight worlds actually, while she was giving that smile to some other guy.
“Oh this doesn’t look like fun,” Kara’s sister’s voice rang as she slid onto the stool next to him.
“Hey Alex,” He greeted pitifully and he couldn’t tell if the look she gave him was sympathetic or amused, probably both.
“So what brings The Blur back to National City?” Alex teased him with the name Cat Grant had given him last time he was here.
It even got him to crack a smile before it dropped again when he answered her question, “Girl trouble.”
Alex let out a huff of air, “Oof. Been there. Anyone we know?”
“Caitlin,” He mumbled and promptly startled when Alex shot up from her relaxed posture.
“Caitlin? As in Caitlin Snow?” Alex demanded making Barry shrink in his seat.
“Yes...” He let out unsurely, nervous what the right answer was. Not embarrassed to admit he was intimidated by the DEO agent, any sane person should be. Even super people.
“Barry’s sad because he thinks he can’t tell her how he feels,” Kara leaned over and filled in the blanks for her sister.
Suddenly Alex’s hand connected with a not overtly painful but firm slap to the back of his head.
“Ow! What was that for?” He pouted rubbing the spot where she hit.
“For being a moron. Have you seen that woman? If she was gay I’d ask her out in a heartbeat.”
“She's gorgeous, she's smart, unbelievably kind, hell, I wanna date her,” Kara pitched in as Barry looked frantically between the two sisters.
“Hey!” Mon-El cried from his new spot next to Kara after he had come out from behind the bar to stand by her. A fauxly aghast expression on his face that made her chuckle and wrap an arm around his waist as his draped over her shoulders.
“You goofus,” She teased and Barry's heart hurt. He wanted something like that with Caitlin. But even though the Danvers sisters only joked about dating her to make a point he knew that meant there were so many guys out there that actually would. What made him better than any of them? Nothing, that's what. He only seemed to be able to bring Caitlin more trouble and she didn't deserve that.
As his mind began swirling into overly dramatic and anxious thoughts Kara spoke some of them aloud, though she managed to cast them in a far more optimistic light than his own mind did.
“But seriously Barry, if you don't someone will. And who knows, I think maybe she could like you too.”
“And never be too proud or afraid to admit the truth, trust me on that one. You could miss something really special if you are,” Mon-El added sincerely, squeezing Kara’s shoulder as she looked up at him beaming. And while Barry took his words to heart, he was already too late.
“It doesn’t matter now anyways, she's already on a date. Probably right now actually,” Barry informed them, it was the real reason he left his own universe to mope on another.
“Pffft. One date doesn’t guarantee anything,” Alex chimed in.
“It’s the third and I think she really likes him.”
A silence hung over the group as they searched for something comforting to say, but before anyone could another friend joined their party.
“Well, actually, I don’t think that ‘date’ worked out,” Winn said coming up with a tablet in hand.
“What do you mean?” Barry asked now completely confused. How would Winn know?
“Cisco messaged me saying you should come back to Star Labs and...” He trailed off as everyone stared at him strangely, “What? Cisco and I use Gold Tooth. That man is a genius. But besides the point, he said you should come back because her date didn’t go well.”
Barry shot up from his stool so fast it would have fallen over if Alex hadn’t caught it, feeling a jolt of protective anger and worry at the split second thought she may have been hurt. Emotionally or otherwise, “Didn’t go well? How so?”
“Nothing bad!” Winn quickly reassured him, “They just... may have interfered.”
Barry groaned tilting his head back, “Great...”
They messed up her date, and it was all his fault. He quickly pulled some money from his wallet, thankful for whatever reason this Earth’s currency was the same, and laid the bills for his drink down on the counter.
“I really gotta go-- sorry guys-- keep the change,” He rambled out quickly before grabbing his coat and rushing out the door into the alley where he fumbled to pull the interdimensional extrapolator from his pocket.
“Barry, wait,” Alex’s voice called as she exited the bar.
“I’m so sorry, Alex. I wish I could stay but I really have to get back,” Barry apologized profusely. He had to make sure Caitlin was alright, his panicked brain berating how he never should’ve left in the first place.
“Slow down there, Blur,” She joked, putting a hand on his shoulder but by her grip he knew he wasn’t going anywhere until he listened. “Mon-El was right, you can’t hide your feelings or bottle them up. It’ll come out eventually.”
She smiled at him knowingly and he nodded, remembering something similar Caitlin said to him long ago about hiding his feelings and how it wasn’t normal to do so even if change was scary.
‘Whatever happens next will be better.’
“No matter which way it goes, you’ll regret it if you don’t.” Her hand slipped from his shoulder only to come back and punch him in it playfully, “Now go get her, hero.”
Barry laughed rubbing his shoulder, she was always good at knocking sense into people, “Yeah, alright. Thanks Alex.”
“Anytime,” She said and he gave her a one arm hug before he ran through the breach and back to his world.
The elevator door dinged open to the Star Labs’ cortex level and Barry stepped off, only to find an anxious looking Ralph and Cisco waiting for him.
“Barry! Buddy, friend, amigo!” Cisco started way too over enthusiastically for it to mean anything good.
“What did you two do?” He hissed lowering his voice, unsure where Caitlin was or if she was even here.
“So we may have kinda... crashed Caitlin’s date,” Cisco explained slowly.
“And scared the guy off,” Ralph added.
“And scared the guy off.”
“But we did it for you! And for her, but you as well!”
“That is so much worse!” Barry cut in, “Why would you do that?”
“We were just looking out for our good doctor and may have done a little digging. With Cisco’s hacking skills and my P.I. connections, let me tell you we found some dirt.”
“Like what?” Barry asked, curious now. Had they actually found this guy trying to infiltrate Team Flash or swindle Caitlin into something nefarious? But if that was the case why did they seem so nervous? Surely Caitlin would understand them trying to protect her.
“Oh you know... a few unpaid parking tickets, some trips to the casino here and there, and a lot of student debt,” Ralph reported like they had just found evidence this guy was a drug dealer. Barry’s jaw dropped.
“Oh my-- Are you two serious right now?? What were you thinking? I still have student debt, that doesn’t make me a criminal!”
“Okay, I know that we probably crossed a line--”
“No kidding.”
“-- but when we got there he was still an ass. Even before we laid out our accusations,” Cisco tried to explain.
“Well he was on a date, with Caitlin , I’d be kinda ticked too if you guys randomly showed up.”
“Rude,” Cisco deadpanned and Barry sighed.
“At least tell me you apologized.”
“Grovelled really,” Ralph admitted hanging his head.
“But you know she’s not going to calm down until she talks to you, so... could you please?”
Barry looked at them and almost considered letting them fear Caitlin’s wrath for a little while longer but relented, he wanted to speak to Caitlin anyways and see if she was alright. Forgiving them would be part of that process, “Fine. Where is she?”
“Med bay,” They said together before they hurriedly got on the elevator behind him and left the floor.
Barry gave an exasperated sigh before heading to Caitlin’s bay, opening the door slowly and finding her deep in concentration staring at one of her many computer screens. She hadn’t noticed him yet as he leaned against the door frame until she finally seemed to sense there was another presence in the room.
“I told you I don’t want to--” She started sharply, whipping around before she actually laid eyes on him. And when she did she softened immediately, that smile he had been craving to see appearing on her face as she breathed out, “Barry.”
“Hey,” He smiled stepping inside.
“Hi,” She answered kindly, tucking her hair back behind her ear.
“I heard what happened,” He started and grimaced when she groaned and rolled her eyes.
“I can’t believe them. It was such an invasion of privacy and so humiliating.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.”
“No... I mean, I’m sorry. This is my fault.”
“You put them up to this?” She stared at him in complete disbelief.
“No!” He hurriedly shot out, “No, god no. But I’m the reason they--”
He stopped short once he took another step forward, the room suddenly spinning and he was feeling woozy. His head starting to pound.
“Barry...? Are you okay?” Caitlin’s voice broke through worriedly, a soft hand on his arm to steady him. Then a cool touch on his forehead, “You’re burning up.”
“I don’t feel so good...” He mumbled. His stomach churned like he was going to puke and sped off. And that turned out to be the worst thing he could’ve done once he finally reached the bathroom.
Not twenty minutes later Barry was back in the med bay, sitting on the edge of the bed with a small trash can in his lap feeling like he was having the worst hangover in history.
“Look at me,” Caitlin’s voice called softly and he glanced up so she could examine his eyes with her pen light, “Hold still.”
“Sorry.” He flinched again as the light hit his eyes. All the lights in her lab seeming extra bright and making his head throb further still. Her hand came up and gently grabbed on to his chin in an effort to hold his head steady. He relaxed into her touch and he heard her huff a laugh under her breath, trying to keep her doctor’s composure.
“Alright we’ll try one more time, look at me.” And he did. He looked up at her and saw her face fill his vision just before the light blinded him momentarily, when it passed a fraction of a second later little stars danced around her.
But Caitlin pursed her lips as her brows furrowed, seeming perplexed as she stepped back. Barry’s head dropping downwards at the sudden loss of her hand supporting his jaw making the room spin again.
“Ow...”
Caitlin looked at him sympathetically, her hand misting with frost for a brief moment before placing it over his forehead making Barry sigh with relief as the cold soothed his pounding skull.
“Have you done anything out of the ordinary today? Eaten or drank anything different?” She asked still trying to diagnose what was wrong and suddenly everything clicked.
“I had a drink,” Barry realized out loud.
“What?”
“I had an alien drink on Earth 38, it must’ve, I don’t know... done this.”
The cold was ripped from Barry’s forehead as Caitlin sharply stepped back.
“You what?” She snapped.
He grimaced, “So loud...”
“Barry, you can’t just have alien drinks!”
“They said it was safe for humans.”
“But your physiology isn’t exactly like every other human! It’s impossible to tell how something from another planet could affect you. It could’ve killed you!”
“But it didn’t...” Barry groaned, her raised tone making the pain in his head beat like a drum.
“No, luckily it just gave you a hangover. Maybe that’ll be lesson enough,” She shot with a huff, crossing her arms firmly over her chest.
Barry chuckled a little, no one should look that adorable while angry, then winced, “Yeah... I think I learned it.”
Caitlin stared him down hard for a few moments as he cast her a sheepish grin until finally her facade broke and a smile pulled at the corner of her lips. Rolling her eyes as she shook her head and pulled up her chair to sit down in.
“Are all my boys going to be idiots today?” She teased smiling fondly at him now.
“It’s why we need you, Dr. Snow,” He grinned back softly and they stared into each others eyes for a few long moments before he finally broke the silence, “So... you think you’ll be able to go out with that guy again?”
Caitlin blew out a breath of air pushing her hair back, “Honestly I don’t think I want to.”
Barry was a little ashamed at how that made his heart jump.
“Why’s that?”
“I didn’t like the way he reacted. Cisco and Ralph went overboard, yes, but they meant well. If he can’t accept my friends were just trying to protect me then I don’t think I want to continue seeing him. How they went about it was wrong and I’ll be having a long talk with them about that--” Her and Barry exchanged a small grin, “--but after everything I’ve been through... I appreciate their concern.”
“So you’re doing okay then?” He asked, wanting to show his concern for her too. More than anything, even his own feelings or well-being, he wanted her to be happy.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” She assured him before raising an eyebrow amusedly, “You?”
“I could be better.” He laughed lightly before setting the trash can aside, “I think the nausea is about gone, but my head is still pounding though.”
“That’s good, well mostly,” She joked softly exchanging a fond smile with him before an expression he couldn’t place flitted across her features and she looked away, biting at her lower lip, “Hey Barry?”
“Yeah?”
“What did you mean when you said you were the reason?”
He took a deep breath, now really didn’t seem like the best time for this with him being ill not a half an hour before and all. It wasn’t romantic or ideal in any way but all the advice he’d been given swam around in his mind. Mon-El’s plea for pride and fear to not stand in the way, Alex’s warning against regrets, Kara’s wondering if maybe Caitlin liked him too, Caitlin’s words from the past of knowing once it’s out there it will be better no matter what happens, and even the ghost of his own words. Great possibilities right in front of them, just waiting to be taken.
“I... I like you, Caitlin. Like a lot. And Ralph and Cisco, they do want to protect you and they care about you but they also know about my feelings and...” Barry fumbled for the words as he could feel his face get redder and redder.
“Sabotaged my date for you?” She offered pointedly, it was clear even though she didn’t want to date the guy anymore she was still annoyed with what had occurred.
“I didn’t ask them to do that, I never would’ve... I went to Earth 38 today because I was sad you were going on it and I didn’t want you to see me and ruin your day. I just wanted you to have a nice time. I’m so sorry, Cait.”
Caitlin wasn’t looking at him and that made his confession easier and more torturous at the same time. Could she look at him? Was she just trying to let him down easy? It was out there now, supposedly this was for the better, but he was starting to regret this whole day.
She slowly got up from her chair and made her way over to him as his breath hitched in his throat. Her hands were intertwined and fidgeting as his eyes honed in on them unable to look anywhere else.
“In a way I’m glad it happened,” She started slowly, “Like I said, it showed me I didn’t really want to be with him before we got too serious.”
“Yeah...” Barry said nodding slowly when she paused.
“And it made me realize it wouldn’t have been fair to him anyways because I could have never truly committed. Not when... I like someone else.”
Barry’s eyes shot up just as her’s skipped away. Was she saying what he thought she was saying?
“S-someone else?”
“Mmhm.” She nodded, treading another step closer, getting a look on her face Barry didn’t recognize, something almost like amusement played in that adorable quirk at the corner of her lips. “He’s a scientist, a brilliant one. And he has the biggest heart I’ve ever known, and the brightest smile.”
Barry knew he was gaping at her, completely dumbstruck. Seemingly unable to process what she was implying.
“He’s also really into running,” She teased and he let out a laugh of disbelief, bashfully ducking his head. She bumped his leg lightly to get him to look up at her. When he did she smiled, “I like you too, Barry.”
“I... I-I uh...” He stammered. Her sudden confidence spiraling him into a sputtering mess that had him blushing up to his ears and his brain to mouth connection out the window.
“So since we both like each other... would you... maybe, want to go out sometime?” She offered shyly and Barry smiled. His nervous mind settling in knowing they were both actually in the same awkward boat here.
“I’d like that.” He nodded and she beamed back at him. He was about to say something else when another wave hit him, the pounding in his ears returning. He groaned rubbing at his forehead, “Ugh my head...”
Caitlin giggled softly, a soothing noise as she scooted closer, “Here, let me try something.”
Barry watched her curiously as he squinted in pain. Her finger tips misting again before she slowly snuck them into his hairline, the sensation cool against his temples. His shoulders relaxed immediately, tilting his head into her touch. But just when he was going to thank her she slid her hands to the back of his head and his words got lost somewhere before they could make it out.
Leaning forward she laid a gentle kiss on his forehead, letting her lips rest there for a moment before a cold wave washed over him, numbing the throbbing. He sighed gratefully, closing his eyes as her fingers gently played with his hair.
When she finally pulled away she rubbed her thumb over his forehead to remove any lipstick that may have been left behind, but Barry took it as an excuse to lean into her palm and she set her forehead against his.
“Better?” She asked softly, though there was a hint of something smug like she already knew the answer.
“Much.” He grinned and it really was, in more ways than one.