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Wei Wuxian felt like the fog that haunted Yi City was suddenly inside his own head, trapping him in a daze as they departed the cursed town and found an inn to rest in for the night. As they walked, he was now very aware of Lan Wangji’s constant stare on him, as well as the occasional glance the juniors gave him -- Jin Ling in particular.
Up until now, Wei Wuxian had simply thought the stares and whispers were just because he was inside the body of the lunatic Mo Xuanyu. But something Jin Ling had said to him at Yi City had thrown him off-balance and made him re-think the eyes always on him, and now the words clutched at his chest, right next to his rapidly beating heart.
Surely it was a joke.
Jin Ling is just misunderstanding something.
It can’t be real.
Thoughts swirling, Wei Wuxian’s hands slid to the front of his robes, curling his fingers into the fabric just above his belly. As they checked into the inn, Jin Ling cast him another glance, a warning burning in his gaze. He may have been just a teenager, but between being a Jin and an alpha, his eyes were ruthless and haughty as they looked at Wei Wuxian. He could almost smell the displeasure.
“No one else is telling you off so I will. Stop prancing about,” he’d hissed in Wei Wuxian’s ear. “Hanguang-Jun may look after you, but that’s no excuse! Go back to your alpha and stop being so shameless! It’s not Hanguang-Jun’s responsibility to protect your child.”
Wei Wuxian put on a smile and bid the juniors a good meal and warned them to not make too much noise. But as soon as he turned away, his smile wavered and broke. He quickly made his way up the stairs to his room and didn’t look back, but neither could he really face ahead.
Jin Ling’s words echoed again and again in his head.
As expected, Lan Wangji was close in tow, following Wei Wuxian into the room. His golden eyes watched his distracted movements intently as he closed the door behind him. Wei Wuxian began to pace at a short length, his stomach feeling heavy as if he’d swallowed a bunch of stones.
It isn’t stones inside me though.
“Wei Ying?”
“Hanguang-Jun, I… You should dine with the juniors. They’ll probably need your supervision, they are teenagers, after all. Don’t you recall the ruckus we made at that age? Well, perhaps not you, haha…”
Lan Wangji’s brow furrowed with a measure of concern, and Wei Wuxian realized it wasn’t just because of his babbling words or how his hands fidgeted over himself. No, there was a new scent in the air -- the sweet orchid that Wei Wuxian knew to be Mo Xuanyu’s, but now slightly soured. The scent of Wei Wuxian’s distress was in the air and he tsked in frustration as it steadily filled the room. How embarrassing to be at this age yet not be able to mask his scent! But Wei Wuxian didn’t know this body, much less know how to handle its secondary sex.
In his previous life, he’d been an alpha -- a rambunctious and charming one sure, but he still knew how to handle his hormones and conceal his scent. But in this new body, Wei Wuxian had quickly learned he was experiencing things differently -- he became affected by certain smells in a new way and his instincts told him different things from his head… Even now at the height of his distress, Wei Wuxian found himself yearning for the familiar and noble sandalwood that was Lan Wangji’s scent to calm him down.
How could this be? The Jade was the perfect picture of an alpha . Certainly, in his past life, Wei Wuxian did rather enjoy Lan Wangji’s scent too, and found pleasure in the challenging look the other alpha would give him. But how Wei Wuxian’s biology reacted to it now was different from back then -- this emptiness, this yearning, this want to be completely pliant in Lan Wangji’s arms -- it all screamed omega . Mo Xuanyu was an omega, Wei Wuxian knew that, but on top of it…
(“Shameless.”
“Go back to your alpha!”)
Lan Wangji took a step closer. He reached a hand out as if he meant to comfort Wei Wuxian, but the hand curled into a fist, and he retreated with a look of great reluctance.
It left Wei Wuxian alone to fester in his mounting panic as the realization dawned on him. Ever since the start of this journey, others had looked at him strangely, especially after he began clinging to Lan Wangji’s arm. At the time, he assumed it was disgust for flirting with another man, but now he knew -- while still not having the skill yet to hold back his scent, what everyone perceived was…
Wei Wuxian’s hands touched his stomach.
(“It’s not Hanguang-Jun’s responsibility to protect your child.”)
Child…
He hadn’t realized it, but they’d all known that he was a pregnant omega.
Dizzy with realization, Wei Wuxian could only speak in fragments to himself, the world slipping into his periphery. “Mo Xuanyu… When he sacrificed himself… Did he know that…? N-no, he mustn't have known, it was too early. But it’s been weeks now… All this time I thought...”
(“Lan Zhan, you’re going to make me fat if you keep giving me so much portions!”
“Ehh? No wine again? Tell me, Lan Zhan, why are you suddenly being stingy and never allowing me even a drop of alcohol to drink?”
“Ugh… Ah, d-don’t worry about me! I’m sure I’m not sick! I’ll feel better if Lan Zhan carries me the rest of the way though~”)
Idiot… He was such an idiot . All this time, thinking he was alone with this body… How did he miss all the signs? He'd been so clueless and reckless during this whole journey and Lan Wangji had to take care of him to make up for his own ignorance. What a foolish person he must have looked like. If he had known, he would've...
Wei Wuxian’s breaths grew shallow as he stumbled to sit on the bed, pressing a palm over his stomach. It felt soft. Definitely soft and -- and somewhat rounded… Not enough to poke through his robes just yet, but it was an undeniable fact that -- inside here...is a child that I hadn’t known was there all along!!
Lan Wangji approached again, this time coming down to his knees in front of Wei Wuxian.
“Wei Ying,” he said, low voice a grounding force, “breathe.” As he spoke, he released a steady wave of his scent, so soothing and warm.
“B-But I--I’m-- Mo Xuanyu, he was, I am-- There’s a--” His distressed scent intensified, the foreign instincts of his omega screaming for an alpha’s care and scent and safety. And Wei Wuxian surrendered to it, unable to think, unable to come up with some clever way to shrug it off his shoulders like he normally would.
It was -- scary , so scary, Wei Wuxian had never felt so vulnerable and so in need of reassurance on such a primal, biological level. Everything was confusing and scary and out of his control and-- what should I do, what should I do!?
White robes suddenly fluttered around him, landing on his shoulders with all the grace of a full-bloomed flower flying free from its tree. In a panicked daze, Wei Wuxian realized Lan Wangji had taken off his outermost robes and placed them around Wei Wuxian like they were a blanket. It was just as well to serve as one, considering how much he was shaking. The robes were warm and pleasantly heavy and best of all -- they smelled like Lan Wangji. Instinctively, Wei Wuxian pulled the soft fabric closer, huddling up in the robes and desperately gulping down the scent of sandalwood to ground himself and sate his omega. Little by little, his lungs remembered how to hold air, and his trembling limbs steadied.
It was enough yet nowhere near enough at the same time.
“Lan Zhan,” he eventually whispered, lips shaking. “Lan Zhan, what do I do? This body isn’t even mine in the first place, yet I’ve learned that I’m not the only one occupying it…”
Lan Wangji stared at him with slightly widened eyes. “You...didn’t know?” He seemed truly mystified, and of course he would be. It had been obvious to literally everyone else with a nose that Wei Wuxian was carrying a pup inside him.
“How could I have known? Mo Xuanyu barely sacrificed his body the same day you arrived at Mo Village. Omegas would truly have troublesome biology if they could bear children without mating first!” Wei Wuxian barked out a dry laugh at the last part; in a sense, he was living that troublesomeness. He’d never mated with anyone in his previous life, had never so much as been touched before except for his stolen first kiss. And yet here he was, weeks, months , into a pregnancy…
This was too crazy, wasn’t it?
Lan Wangji looked at a loss for words as he processed Wei Wuxian’s claim. “Then, this child…”
“It’s Mo Xuanyu’s. It must've survived the ritual because only his own soul was offered. But...I don’t think he knew either. Nothing in his room indicated it.” Wei Wuxian frowned now that he thought about it, images of the wrecked, dirty room resurfacing in his mind. “As a matter of fact… There was no scent of an alpha present. Everything in the room belonged to him. Did he really not have a mate?” Wei Wuxian raised his hand, trying to feel over the back of his neck.
Lan Wangji caught the movement and shook his head. “I thought you were… But in the bath, I saw your neck. Unmated.”
The panic that Wei Wuxian had been experiencing was slowly being quelled by the scent and softness of Lan Wangji’s robes and now he could think a little more clearly. With those shocking words, all that filled Wei Wuxian’s heart now was a mix of pity and sadness.
Mo Xuanyu… He really did have quite a rough life. On top of everything else that prompted him to summon Wei Wuxian’s spirit in revenge and sacrifice his body, he was also bearing the child of an unknown alpha, one he hadn’t even mated with. Had he continued to live, the stress of pregnancy would’ve been quite difficult -- for both himself and his pup.
How...lonely.
Although the fact that he was pregnant was still something he was trying to wrap his mind around, Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but place a hand back on the slight slope of his stomach gently. At the moment, the pup inside him had no promise of a family. Even though Wei Wuxian had been orphaned early in his childhood, at least he’d been born in the loving embraces of his parents. Even if Mo Xuanyu’s own life had ended with him sacrificing it, he’d still been bathed in the scent of his mother at birth.
What would this child have? Unborn, hardly even fully formed, and already alone.
Lan Wangji leaned in slightly, re-entering Wei Wuxian’s field of vision and breaking his thoughts.
“Alright now?”
Wei Wuxian relaxed his shoulders, giving a tired nod. “Mm. Yes. Thank you, Lan Zhan.”
“Your scent is still upset.” Lan Wangji reached out, folding his robes more securely around Wei Wuxian like it would eliminate the sour smell. Wei Wuxian couldn't help but give a weak laugh at his fussing.
“I’m still...out of sorts. I don’t know what’s happening anymore.” Still huddled in the robes, Wei Wuxian raised his head. Even knowing what he knew now, knowing that to the world he was a pitiful unmated pregnant omega, Wei Wuxian was still a bit uneasy to be left on his own and asked, “Lan Zhan… Can we rest together on the bed, please? I don’t understand it much, but I… I need…”
Lan Wangji had every right to refuse. He might be a single alpha, but it certainly wasn’t his responsibility to take care of Wei Wuxian, especially given his present state. Any alpha would want to stay away from an omega that carried another’s pup and was unmated. An omega like that...surely there was something wrong with them. It was better to not be associated.
And yet, without needing further explanation and without hesitation, Lan Wangji nodded and rose up.
The two situated themselves under the blankets. Wei Wuxian kept Lan Wangji’s robes and cocooned himself in them. With the blanket on top of it, he felt quite warm, like a seed buried deep in the earth. It gave him the illusion of safety. Lan Wangji laid down right beside him in his usual proper posture -- on his back and body straight. For some reason, it made Wei Wuxian purse his lips. Like this, his face was close to Lan Wangji’s shoulder -- he could just move a little and bump his nose against him -- but mere presence wasn’t all he wanted. Just like the robes and blanket, he wanted Lan Wangji’s strong and warm form draped over him. Wei Wuxian felt he’d only be restless until this came true.
As he thought of how to best request this, Lan Wangji turned his head towards him. Wei Wuxian realized by the look in his eyes that Lan Wangji already knew he was still upset.
“Sorry,” his cheeks grew warm, “you can still smell me, can’t you? It must make you quite uncomfortable…”
Lan Wangji shook his head. “Not uncomfortable.”
“My scent has really changed, especially now with this pup… I’m trying to get used to it.”
At that, Lan Wangji’s usual stare of solid gold softened. “Still smells like you.”
“Huh?” Before Wei Wuxian could ask what he meant, Lan Wangji turned to his side, his arms moving forward and wrapping around Wei Wuxian. He embraced him securely, his face buried into Lan Wangji’s chest, mere inches from his neck where the scent of sandalwood was strongest. Feeling his arms around him should’ve been embarrassing, and yet for the first time that evening, Wei Wuxian could finally relax, his omega practically sighing in relief and contentment.
As Lan Wangji began to nuzzle into his hair and held Wei Wuxian closer to him, the sweet woody scent clung to him, blending with the smell of orchids, and he suddenly realized what was happening.
“Y-You’re scenting me…”
“Mmn.”
“You shouldn’t put your smell on me,” Wei Wuxian said with reluctance. “What would the others think when I’m pregnant and smell of you?”
“To calm you down,” Lan Wangji explained, ignoring the statement. Then, after a pause, “Also good for the child.”
Wei Wuxian’s insides twisted again, but it was hard to tell this time if it was a pleasant or painful feeling. As Lan Wangji continued to scent him, Wei Wuxian could feel himself melting and his eyelids growing heavy. Finally, he just decided to let the alpha do as his instincts directed him -- his own omega reassured him that this was the right thing.
The revelations of the evening continued to swirl in his head, but above everything else, Wei Wuxian knew this.
“Lan Zhan?”
Strong hands ran up and down his back in a soothing, hypnotizing manner. “Mmn?”
Quietly, Wei Wuxian admitted, “I want to take care of Mo Xuanyu’s pup. Is that crazy?”
Lan Wangji was silent for a moment, still tracing the line of his spine and making Wei Wuxian shiver pleasantly. With the smallest trace of humor, he said, “Wouldn’t be you otherwise.”
Wei Wuxian’s laugh was muffled against Lan Wangji’s chest. “Fair enough. I’ve just... I’ve kind of thought about having pups before -- not as an omega, and not like this, mind you, but… I thought of having a family. I suppose I'm getting my wish.”
He didn’t say he'd had this wish ever since he lost his parents, and that when Jiang Fengmian brought him to Lotus Pier, he had also wished to belong, to be a family .
He didn’t say these daydreams got more vivid after he was brought back to life and spent days with the man currently beside him.
And he certainly didn’t say that in these daydreams, the pups belonged to him and Lan Wangji.
Low voice rumbling pleasantly against Wei Wuxian’s ear, Lan Wangji said, “I’m here, Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian’s heart skipped a beat. The words touched him in a way he couldn’t describe. But they felt right .
“Thank you...Lan Zhan.”
Laying like this, he was so close to Lan Wangji’s heartbeat. It’s a very nice sound… Although, it was beating a bit fast. Wei Wuxian supposed his own was rather restless as well. Even so, he felt safe. Content. He cuddled closer, wrapping his own arms around Lan Wangji, enjoying his solidness and warmth.
Nice… So very nice…
“You’re a good alpha… And you were taking care of me all this time when you didn't have to. No wonder you’re so popular. Be glad I’m giving you this practice run for your future mate.”
“Not in the future,” Lan Wangji protested in his usual terse way. “I’m here .”
“Hmm, so particular. Well then, you’re here.” Wei Wuxian couldn’t deny that the claim gave him reassurance. His omega was also pleased to finally be bathed in the scent of the alpha it’d been craving for the past few weeks. Tangled as he was in hormones and sleepiness, Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure where his body’s needs ended and his heart’s needs began. Perhaps they were one and the same. Either way, he was in Lan Wangji’s arms, and him and this pup inside him were safe.
It started with a pleasant hum at the center of his chest. Then with each breath, it grew a little more until a soft purr rumbled through him. As an alpha, he’d of course never purred before, but he found it to be quite an agreeable feeling. Lan Wangji only continued to stroke through his hair and back, encouraging the sound of an omega at comfort and peace.
Wei Wuxian fell asleep completely sheltered in Lan Wangji’s embrace. Whatever the future held, at this moment, he wasn’t alone -- and neither would this child nestled between their bodies be.