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In the middle of winter, you wouldn't expect to see anyone outside in the biting cold, strolling through the streets like it were still autumn or taking in the sun's rays like they were enjoying the summer heat. No, the people in Silas were sane enough to be cuddled up in a warm blanket with a hot drink in hand and the radiator blasting. But through one empty street of Silas, you could see one soul, wrapped in just a leather jacket and pants, sporting a pair of combat boots, trudging through the thick layer of snow that had fallen the other night.
The wind was harsh and bit at Carmilla's face, but she didn't care. She continued her trek, one snowy boot after the other, ignoring the numbness that had grown in her nose and fingertips. The cold weather wasn't going to stop Carmilla from reaching the only place she felt secure and at peace.
Down at the end of the street sat a ruined apartment building, about 12 stories high. The windows were bordered off with wooden planks that had started to rot long ago. Dead vines stuck to its facade and sides. Vines that never got the chance to reach the top of the building. From the sight of it, anyone could tell it had been abandoned for a few years. And because of that, it was just the perfect place for Carmilla to retreat to.
Carmilla reached the base of the building and walked past the front entrance. The handles of the door that led to it’s lobby was wrapped with thick heavy chains and a padlock, securing the building from intruders and the outside world. Carmilla instead walked along the side of the building, down the alleyway. She emerged at the back end of the building. The area was not a sight to behold. Pieces of paper were scattered across the ground and garbage had been left, forgotten.
She diverted her attention to the large board of wood that was leaning against the wall of the building. It was clean and smooth. It certainly didn't look like it belonged to this run-down mess of an area. Carmilla took the board and shifted it slightly, revealing a hole in the wall, the size that a small adult could crawl through. Once Carmilla was inside, she shifted the board back in its original position.
Carmilla knew she could have easily broken the lock out front with her bare hands if she wanted to. But she knew that it would give an easy access to dimwits dumb enough to look through abandoned apartment buildings. She wanted to keep this place all to herself.
Carmilla stomped her boots on the ground, shaking and swiping off snow that had clung to her boots and legs. The hole had led straight to the staircase of the building and Carmilla began her hike up twelve flights of stairs. She was panting slightly when she reached the top. For a vampire with superhuman strength and the ability to turn into a giant black panther at will, one would think that climbing twelve flights of stairs would be the equivalent of snapping a toothpick.
However, it had been five days since she had last fed. Finding food or something to feed on wasn’t the problem. She had simply lost her desire to eat.
Carmilla pushed the door that led to the rooftop open and was immediately greeted with a gush of cold wind. She zipped her leather jacketed up and stuffed her hands in her pocket, cursing herself for not wearing more layers. That doesn’t matter right now. She walked to her usual spot at the edge of the building. She swiped away some snow that had accumulated and sat down and swung her legs over the edge, letting them dangle freely.
She stared at the evening sun that had just started to set and down below at the shorter buildings and street. The evening was by far her favourite time to come here. The warm orange sunlight hit everything perfectly. She took a deep breath in, feeling the cold air rush and burn all the way through her nostrils and down her throat into her lungs. She held her breath, feeling the cold air in her respiratory system before slowly exhaling. She watched as her breath flowed out as dancing smoke.
She took a couple more deep breaths in and each time she did, she felt alive. Each time the cold air entered her lungs, she remembered she could breathe. Breathing meant that she was still alive. Carmilla has a somewhat complex relationship with life; she doesn’t want to live, but at the same time she doesn’t want to die. To be more specific, she doesn’t want to live this life.
The life of taking innocent girls away from their family and friends. To befriend them in the beginning. To earn their trust. To tell each other secrets and stories of their past. Only to later betray them and send them to Mother, letting her do only God knows what to them.
Carmilla hates it.
She wants to defy Mother, but she knows she can’t. She refuses to go down that horrific road again. She still has nightmares about waking up in that coffin filled with Elle’s blood. She refused to drink her blood, did everything in her power to refrain, but her vampiric instincts soon took over and she couldn’t control herself. The metallic smell was too overpowering, too overwhelming. She couldn’t stop herself. Not even if she willed and pleaded with her own brain as the blood gushed in her mouth and down into her stomach.
The rumour had it that you could hear the blood curdling cries of a woman out on an empty field for nearly a century. And that suddenly, one day, the cries stopped. But little did they know that those cries came from Carmilla, 30 feet underground, crying out to Mother for forgiveness. That happened about a hundred years ago and Carmilla still hasn’t forgiven herself for it. Only a monster would drink the blood of her own lover to survive.
Carmilla wishes to live her life just like everybody else. No betraying of girls for sacrifices, no Mother to report to. She just wants to travel the world.
To be free.
Carmilla heaved a big sigh. She couldn’t die. She’s already tried that. Tried starving herself, jumping from bridges, even a gun to the head at one point. Every time she did, Mother would just bring her back, laugh in her face at her failed attempt and send her out again. It was futile. There was no escaping from this Hell her Mother had created for her.
Carmilla fumbled around in her pocket and pulled out a small blood bag. It wasn’t much but it was something at the very least. She held it in both hands and focused her eyes on it. She felt her eyes get slightly hotter and the bag radiated heat onto her palms. Blood was better warm.
She bit open the bag and sucked the warm silky liquid down. She felt the heat travel down her chest then settle in her stomach and radiate through her whole body. Carmilla immediately felt more energetic and stronger.
Just then, the door to the rooftop flung open and a small stranger fell to the floor with a squeak. Carmilla rolled her eyes.
“Just great, a dimwit found my hiding spot.” Carmilla mumbled to herself.
She tossed the empty bag off the building and swung her legs and body around to face the culprit who was foolish enough to disturb her. But the sight that bestowed Carmilla stopped her in her tracks and made her raise an eyebrow.
In front of Carmilla lay a girl looking up at her with big brown bug eyes, a sheepish smile and a face that was as red as a boiled lobster. She was wearing a woven beanie, a thick winter coat, blue jeans and brown boots.
“Uh, hi there..” The stranger said sheepishly. Carmilla did nothing but raise her eyebrow even more.
The stranger realised she was still on the floor and rushed to stand up, dusting off the snow to try to look more presentable.
“I’m really sorry I just tumbled in like that. I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry if I interrupted anything, I was just walking down the street and I saw you walk behind the building, and so I followed you and oh my gosh, that sounded really creepy. I’m really sorry, I wasn’t stalking you I swear! I was just-”
“Woah there, Cupcake.” Carmilla interrupted the stranger’s ramble as she thought she was going to end up hurting herself talking that fast. “Slow down.”
The stranger took on a deeper shade of red.
“Right. Sorry.” The stranger took in a big breath before she began again.
“I’m new here and I was exploring the streets but I got lost. I spotted you walking down the street, so I thought I would go up and ask for directions. But you were walking too fast and then you turned into this alley. I probably shouldn’t have followed you because following strangers into an alleyway is extremely dangerous and not to mention dumb, and my Dad would be so angry if he knew that I did that, but I did anyway because… “
The stranger thought about it for a bit and shrugged. “I don’t know. It intrigued me. Curiosity killed the cat, huh?” The stranger finished off with a nervous laugh and avoided Carmilla’s intense gaze. Carmilla was still processing what the stranger had just said.
“So, you’re new here?” Carmilla asked slowly. The stranger nodded.
“And you were walking down the empty streets alone?” The stranger nodded again.
“And you thought it would be a good idea to follow me into an abandoned building? The hole in the wall didn’t ring any alarm bells for you?”
The stranger avoided Carmilla’s eyes again, realising now that it was indeed a terrible idea to follow a stranger, let alone into an abandoned building. She looked as though she was sinking back into her winter coat like a tortoise would with their shell. She nodded again.
Carmilla let out a sigh and ran a hand through her hair. ‘How naïve can this girl be?’ She thought.
“Well Cupcake, you’re very lucky I’m not a psychopathic murderer.” Carmilla said dryly. Technically, Carmilla wasn’t a murderer. She lured girls to their demise, but she never physically hurt them herself.
The stranger forced a small laugh. “What are you doing up here then, if you don’t mind me asking.”
Carmilla walked nonchalantly back to her spot and looked out. “I come here to think.”
“About what?” The stranger probed.
‘Damn, this girl’s curiosity will get her killed one day’ Carmilla thought.
“I’m a philosophy major. I think about many things.”
“Oh! That’s so cool! Which school do you go to?” The stranger replied excitedly, clearly eager to know more about the stranger she just met.
“Silas University.”
“Hey, I go there too! I don’t think I’ve seen you around though. My name’s Laura. I’m a journalism major.” Laura tried to join Carmilla at her spot but felt queasy looking down and decided to sit a few feet away from the edge.
Carmilla noticed her hesitation and smirked. “What’s wrong, cutie? Scared?”
Carmilla could see a light blush grow on Laura’s cheeks and neck.
‘This could be interesting’ Carmilla thought.
“Come on. You don’t need to be scared. I’ve got you.” Carmilla reassured Laura as she extended out a hand towards her. Carmilla could hear Laura’s heart rate quickly increase. She gave Laura a warm smile to reassure her further. “You can trust me. It’ll be okay.”
Laura bit her lip, contemplating, then slowly took Carmilla’s hand in hers. She held it firmly as Carmilla slowly guided her to the edge of the building. Laura carefully sat down with her legs crossed. Her heart pounded in her throat as she looked over the edge. Her head started to spin. She took a deep breath and shut her eyes tight. She willed her heart to slow and her mind to steady. Laura was gripping Carmilla’s hand so tightly that her knuckles had gone white. Ever so slowly, she uncrossed her legs and let them hang off the edge.
“Relax, Laura. You did it!” Carmilla smiled and laughed at the fact that Laura was still gripping her hand for dear life.
'Laura.' Carmilla thought.
It surprised her that Laura’s name rolled off her tongue so naturally. Carmilla looked at Laura. The setting sun hit her face softly, casting gentle shadows. The light reflecting off her hair made it look about five shades lighter, almost like a golden brown. Her eyes were big, and full of excitement. She had a cute button nose and light freckles dotted over her cheeks. Carmilla watched as a small smile crept at the corner of Laura’s lips. It wasn’t long before it became a full-blown smile, with teeth and all. Maybe it was the sunlight hitting Laura in all the right spots, but Carmilla couldn’t help but return a smile at Laura’s natural beauty.
Laura looked Carmilla in the eyes, grinning, and Carmilla’s heart fluttered. She had never seen anyone so effortlessly beautiful and full of life.
‘Please, Mother’
‘Don’t let her be the next one’