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Roxas has been trying to sleep for...who knows how long. All he knows is that he’s been rolling around in his bed several times, trying different positions, closing his eyes, and sleep never happens.
He rolls over one more time with a frustrated grunt, peering out the window. The stars and colors in the sky twinkle back at him. Is it ever actually day time here? In the times he remembers Sora visiting this tower, it was dark outside. Maybe that was part of what made this tower special, besides everything else.
Roxas sighed. He knew at this point sleep wasn’t coming. It was just impossible. Something was...missing. What could be missing? His heart immediately gave him the answer but he didn’t want to admit it. But what else was he going to do at this point?
The blond pushed the blankets off him and sat up in bed, looking at the door. He hesitated and thought over his plan for one more second before swinging his legs over and standing up.
His mind and heart had an internal battle as he put on the simple slippers he was given and he walked towards the door. This is stupid. But you need this. Why do I need this? You miss it. Why should I miss it? I’m my own person now. But the warmth is gone.
Roxas gritted his teeth for a moment, opening the door and looking out in the hallway. He must’ve had some magical timing, because Xion was standing nearby, looking at him in surprise.
They stared at each other for a few seconds before Roxas whispered, “Xion? Why are you up?”
“Why are you?” Xion asked back.
He didn’t want to admit it to her. He was already having a hard time admitting it to himself. The blond simply stayed quiet, raising a hand to rub the back of his neck and look away.
That was apparently enough of an answer for his friend. Xion sighed and gestured with a hand. “Come on, let’s go together.”
...Now he gets it. They’re awake for the same reason. Roxas stepped out into the hallway, softly closing the door behind him.
They walked side by side down the hallway, going up a single flight of stairs. Roxas wanted to break the silence somehow, but he couldn’t think of any real small talk to make. But he was glad the silence wasn’t awkward at least, it was...comfortable. Almost calming.
The two headed towards the room and then stopped at the sight of someone else heading to the same place. Roxas was still adjusting to seeing his twin, for a split second he almost thought there was a mirror in the hallway. But their clothes were different and Roxas simply knew better, even in the low light (and how late it was).
“Ventus?” Xion was the first to speak up between the three.
“H-hey, guys,” Ven laughed a little and fidgeted, running a hand through his hair and giving them a small smile. “What’re you doing up?”
Roxas sighed. This was embarrassing enough as it was. “It’s alright, we’re here for the same thing,” he muttered, looking over at the room.
Ven looked down at the floor and didn’t seem to think of anything to say to that. Roxas wouldn’t let them all stand there in awkward silence, so he stepped over to the room and lightly pushed the door open.
Sora was sitting up in bed, looking out the window. Why wouldn’t he also be awake right now?
Roxas pushed the door open more, a small creak escaping it causing Sora to look over. “Huh? Guys?”
All three stepped into the room, Ven closing the door behind them and they took a moment to look at each other sheepishly. Now that they were here, they realized they didn’t exactly have a plan beyond this point.
“Is something wrong?” Sora turned his body around, legs dangling over the edge of the bed and facing them completely.
“We can’t sleep,” Xion started, raising a hand to push some hair behind her ear. “We’re um...we...”
None of them seemed ready to say it. They knew why they came here, but it all felt...so silly. They couldn’t really look him in the eye at the moment.
Sora let out a little laugh and they looked at him, just seeing his grin made them relax a bit. “You guys too, huh? I kinda hoped it was just me, but I’m also glad I’m not the only one.” The brunette scratched the side of his face and looked embarrassed. “But I feel it too. You guys have been a part of my heart for so long, it feels a little...empty now without you. But that’s a good thing! I mean,” He fumbled for a moment and sighed. “You can all live your own lives now. Experience things for yourself, do whatever you want to do, you can do it all now! And I’m happy for you and I’m glad I could help.”
“We are grateful to you, Sora,” Ven spoke, placing a hand over his chest. “You kept me safe all those years and I want to do whatever I can to help you too. I mean, I want to do more things to help you, and I’d be more than happy to call you my friend. We shared a heart space for so many years, but we don’t really know each other too well, and I’m ready to change that.”
“Even though I had no right to be a part of you, I was still a part of your heart.” Xion smiled. “And it felt very welcoming and warm. And you helped me become myself again. I’m not a puppet anymore, there’s no one to pull any strings on me.”
“I’m your nobody, and we shouldn’t be able to exist separately like this,” Roxas closed his eyes, placing a hand over his chest and feeling his heartbeat for a moment. “And I fought my entire life to be my own person. To prove I’m more than what they said I was. But then I gave up. No matter what I did, it didn’t matter. I was just your other half and I had accepted that. But then...you told me different. You said that I deserved to be my own person, that we were not the same. And you tried your best to bring me back.” He opened his eyes and realized they were burning a little, tears threatening to fall but he kept them in somehow. “I honestly hated you for a long time. But after everything, I want to do everything I can to make it up to you, and keep you safe.”
Sora stared at them in silence and then his face slowly turned red. He cleared his throat and looked away. “I- wow- this is a bit much at once- I don’t even- um.”
The other three laughed, and Roxas stepped over and patted Sora on the shoulder. “It’s alright, don’t worry about it. But uh...can we stay in here for the night?”
Sora looked at him and then over at the other two. “Of course!” He grinned, and looked over his bed. “Might just be enough space, I hope.”
It took longer than it should’ve to figure out, but eventually all four got comfortable on the bed. Sora was in the center, Ventus to his right and Roxas to his left. Xion was on the other side of Roxas, up against the window. They all huddled together, sharing the blankets they had on hand.
Roxas sighed deeply and closed his eyes. The literal and figurative warmth he felt now was easily lulling him to sleep.
He felt Sora turn his head towards him. “I’m with you,” he whispered, his voice slowly fading.
-
Roxas opened his eyes slowly, his mind a bit hazy. As the fog of the dream cleared, his eyes widened and he sat up quickly in bed. He squinted at the sight of bright light coming into his window, and he raised a hand to cover his face.
Chimes from the clock tower rang in the distance, and the blond glanced at his clock sitting nearby. It was just another morning. Another day in Twilight Town. Another day of figuring out school work. Another day of hanging out with all his friends.
Another day without Sora.
Roxas stared down at his lap, placing a hand over his chest and closing his eyes. “I’m with you,” he whispered.