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He made his way into the bus. There was no going back now. No turning around. He would leave. He has to leave, has to go back, talk to someone from the Empire, his home. Ask them all the questions that have been burning in his mind. He wants to know the truth. The real truth, from someone who he can fully trust, someone from his own homeland. Leonis had already done more than enough, he still couldn't believe that a Lucian and worse, his self-proclaimed arch nemesis Cor the Immortal would have been the one to save him. But he did what he could for now, thanked him properly. Everything else would happen back on the battlefield. Right. That's where he wanted to return to.
As he sat down he took one last look outside the toned window. Cor was still standing there at the same spot, apparently watching the bus leave. He knew Cor couldn't see him. Cor looked calm, but there was something else in his eyes that Loqi couldn't quite make out. He decided to not think about it and stared at the seat in front of him instead. This would be a long journey and he should get some more rest in the climated bus. Traveling from Hammerhead or Lestallum onwards will probably be rather uncomfortable, he hated the heat of the Duscae region and Lestallum was even worse. Loqi was used to the cold weather that was so typical for his homeland. So he closed his eyes and rested.
The bus stopped at Hammerhead. Loqi wished it would have brought him a little farther, but they announced that the ongoing road to Lestallum was currently blocked by a herd of Garula. They couldn't wait until a hunter took care of them. Loqi sighed as he took his baggage out of the bus. His travel was stopped because of some walking steaks? Great. Just as he thought, the sun shone mercilessly down on his fair skin. “Fucking heat. Fuck those Garula too.” he started swearing to himself as he walked down the road to a public phone. That phone better be working or he might let his anger out on it. Since he didn't have anything with him when Cor saved him, he didn't have many telephone numbers to call. There was only one that he knew in and out. He called the office of the High Commander. Ravus Nox Fleuret was his only somewhat friend. Loqi sucked at social interaction, so he didn't really like anyone, and Ravus was the only choice, Loqi knew he could be trusted.
He should have told Cor that he wasn't the most liked person in the military. At least he didn't really get along with anyone from the higher ups. Loqi knew they talked behind his back a lot. They called him a kid, a tech nerd with no real strength, and worse shit that Loqi didn't want to recall. Despite all that he always kept his head up high. That's what they hated about Loqi, how their talking didn't affect him at all. The only one who wouldn't talk bad about him was the High Commander. And probably the Chancellor, but he only met him once and Chancellor Izunia kind of creeped him out. He shook his head. No time to think about this now, he told himself. With no further drifting off, he pressed the numbers one by one on the phone, taking the speaker in his left hand. And he waited. There was a sound indicating that it was ringing on the other end, but even after a whole minute, no one answered. He waited for another minute. Nothing. Maybe they won't answer because it's a call from a not secured military line? Loqi made a slight ‘Tsk’ sound as he hung the speaker back up with a little more force than needed.
So this idea didn't go well. On to the next, which would be finding the next military base. Surely, if he could contact the High Commander from a military line, he would have to answer. There was a base nearby, so he knew he could walk there. ‘If only it wouldn't be so damn hot’ he thought to himself as he made his way towards the base. After about one and a half kilometer of walking, Loqi cursed himself for not buying something to drink at Hammerhead when he still could. His leg still hurt, even though he tried his best not to put too much weight on it. As he reached the entrance to the military base, he was greeted with a rifle pointed at him. MTs were so stupid, not knowing who he was when he didn't wear his uniform. Loqi took in his breath, then exhaled slowly. “I am Brigadier General Loqi Tummelt, current head of the Tummelt family! I request to speak to the one in charge of this base!” he declared with a slightly strained voice. He was thirsty and his voice needed some liquid.
Loqi waited. The entrance opened, but the MT still wouldn't let him through, instead someone came outside. The one coming out was no other than Commander Ulldor. ‘Great, why did it have to be him?’ Loqi thought to himself. “So you claim to be Loqi Tummelt, boy?” Ulldor asked while putting emphasis on the word ‘boy’. “Right, you've seen me before, Commander Ulldor. You know how I look like. No need for me to claim anything, it's me, end of story. I only want to request a ride back to the Empire. Or if that's not possible, at least a way to contact someone there.” Ulldor made a slightly amused face. “Are you trying to mock me? Loqi Tummelt was reported dead just like the rest of the Tummelt family after the bombing of Vianard. You're clearly an imposter.”
Loqi gulped. Reported dead? But how could they report his death if he was alive, if there was no dead body of him found? It threw him off guard, and he needed a few seconds to find his breath again. “What do you mean? I'm alive, how could they report my death if there is no evidence? They couldn't have found a body. I'm here. I live. This must be a misunderstanding! Let me call the High Commander to clear this up.” This was so messed up, he didn't even think about something like that happening. Clearly, Ravus would be able to identify him and all of this charade would end. Ulldor seemed to be thinking hard about what Loqi had said, but then just laughed it off. “In all due respect to the Tummelt family, they were only in my way. I didn't care about the details of their deaths, but I received notice that their whole estate was crushed by a bomb so certainly there was not much left of them anyway.” What Commander Ulldor meant was clearly the part of Loqi's family that was already in the military and all had high ranks. Ulldor wanted to climb some ranks up and they were in his way. Still, his words were like poison for Loqi's ears.
“Are you saying you don't care about my little siblings?! Are you trying to tell me that Nanna and Frey were in your way?! That you don't fucking care about 100th or even 1000th of innocent people that have been killed? If everyone thinks like you do, it's really making me believe the Empire did it.. Damn..” Loqi's anger slowly turned into sadness at that realization. Still, Caligo Ulldor wasn't who he trusted. That man just had fired his anger. Ulldor was taken aback at being assaulted like that. He didn't even know about two little children in the Tummelt family, or at least couldn't remember it. What surprised him more though was what Loqi said after that. The bombing of Vianard was officially a Lucian attack on an innocent city. Every civilian in Niflheim believes that, because that's what the Empire had stated. The truth was carefully hidden. No one outside of a few higher ranked people in the Niflheimian military knew about it being a plan of the Empire to kill as many infected people as possible while also inciting more hatred towards the Lucian enemy. If that guy knows about it, he either truly is Loqi Tummelt and somehow survived the bombing and realized that the bombs were from the Empire, or he is a Lucian spy. Both possibilities were bad, since that information shouldn't be spread under any circumstances. The Empire controlled every media inside Niflheim, no civilian was able to hear or see any news that wasn't filtered by the Empire first. Anyone stating the truth should be put under control at least.
Loqi stared at Ulldor in anger, trying hard to hide his sadness and upcoming tears, while Ulldor stared back at him with a slightly shocked expression for a moment. But the moment passed and Ulldor reacted without further ado, ordering the MT which was still standing in the same position to take hold of Loqi and put him into custody. Was that some kind of joke now? Loqi couldn't process what was happening as the MT grabbed him quite harshly and shoved him into the base. Loqi struggled with all his might but he couldn't fight against the strength of a Trooper that weren't bound to human restrictions anymore. His loud protest fell on deaf ears as well. The MT put him into a small container with a hole only big enough to let some air in, as some kind of makeshift jail. The container only allowed Loqi to stay in a sitting position or some half lying down position, which was worse, since the metal was hard and cold. His baggage was taken in separately for a later inspection.
Loqi had stopped screaming and protesting after about half an hour of no one answering or reacting in any way. His thoughts drifted to what he had said to the man for him to get such a handling. Was it because Loqi mentioned the bombing of Vianard being the Empire's fault? If that was the case, it would prove him right. The Empire did it. Loqi was right but moreover Cor was right. Of course Cor really never had a reason to lie to him, or to go to the trouble of faking that document he had seen. Cor was right all along. And still Loqi had secretly hoped to find out another truth. He didn't want to believe all this, that the Empire, his
Empire would bomb his hometown, would kill his beloved siblings, all planned through in such a cruel way. An Empire that killed its own people wasn't what Loqi could still be proud of. It wasn't what he wanted, what he could proudly talk about. And now he was treated as a traitor, even though they were the traitors to their own people? If Loqi wasn't in such a damned situation, it all would be really laughable. ‘Fucked up’, he thought. Why was he being so stubborn, so stoic to actually try going back to the Empire? His love and pride for his homeland made him still want to believe it wasn't true, made him want to believe there really was another reason behind this. It was like Loqi was climbing up a cliff for all his life, thinking to reach the top was the only goal, but then the stone crumbled under his feet and he fell, only to grasp a little branch with all the strength he had left, the branch barely able to hold him, until it finally gave in and broke. Now Loqi was falling down without anything to stop him and he hit the ground so hard.
There was no one to hold him this time. Nobody could stop his tears and they kept coming. Loqi cried again, after he thought he'd been better and wouldn't need to bawl his eyes out again, but now he was, because he finally hit the ground. If only he didn't grasp that branch to begin with. If only he had accepted it before, when he was still at a safe place, when there was still someone who cared about him in some way. Loqi couldn't deny it, even though he wanted to so much, but he wished he'd stayed with Cor. But he was on his own now, alone, in a dark confined place, Cor wouldn't just appear and save him this time. No one would. Nannie.. Frey.. They died believing the Empire would come and save them. They died believing with all their might in their homeland. It's just too unfair, why was all of this so unfair, so cruel? Loqi couldn't help the feeling of betrayal. He lost track of time as he cried, only the lack of the little light that was coming through the hole made it clear that time had passed. Loqi felt tired, he was exhausted and he definitely needed something to drink. His throat felt sore and dry. He stared into the darkness of his confinement while he tried to hear if someone was nearby, maybe someone could at least give him a bit of water?
Loqi's whole body began to shake at the sound that he could hear then. The sound of a dropship close in the sky. Loqi looked around, but it was dark, he couldn't see anything, there was no space, he couldn't get out, so he cowered into a corner and covered his head with his hands. He was at an imperial base, a dropship approaching shouldn't be out of the normal, but after what he'd been through, a dropship coming his way could mean anything. The sound got louder and louder, Loqi felt like he was back in his basement. “Nanna.. Frey..!“ he wanted to look for them, but he knew they were gone, this wasn't his basement, he was alone and still wished he could hold them right now. In Loqi's panic he didn't hear the ship landing, even when they were two people talking right outside of the container, Loqi still screamed as if he was under attack again.
High Commander Ravus Nox Fleuret was called to ‘investigate’ on this cause of Loqi Tummelt's sudden return from the dead. Ravus knew Loqi well enough, he was acquainted with the whole Tummelt family. Still he couldn't believe that Ulldor had put Loqi into a container. What kind of treatment was that? As if there wasn't any other place to keep him. But as Ravus knew him, that man never really cared much about others well-beings. Ravus opened the door of the container, then stared down at the person he found inside, cowered in a corner, clearly panicked. It was with no doubt Loqi Tummelt, but in a state that the High Commander never saw him before. “Tummelt! TUMMELT!” Ravus tried calling out to him, but gained no reaction. “See, he doesn't even respond to his name, definitely a fake.” Ulldor remarked, standing right next to Ravus. A sigh, then Ravus turned to Ulldor: “I don't need you here anymore, go to your office, do some work, just don't stand in my way. I'll take it from here.” Caligo mumbled something in anger as he did as told, turned around and left.
Without anyone to interfere anymore, Ravus grabbed Loqi's arm and dragged him out of his confinement. He pulled the smaller man on his legs, then held his head slightly up so Loqi was forced to look at him. “Pull yourself together, Loqi. You're not under attack and you know me, you trust me, don't you?” It took a moment for Loqi to realize who was standing before him, what was actually happening in this moment. He took a deep breath. In and out, slowly. But with the realization came the shame of his own state and Loqi quickly tried to wipe away the last remains of his tears. It was no use, Ravus already saw his red and swollen eyes, already heard him scream in panic. “Ra.. err.. High Commander..” he breathed out, his voice sounded raspy.
“Drop the honorifics. You're officially not even part of the Empire's military anymore. Well, officially you're supposed to be dead.” Loqi only nodded, his head hurt and that whole situation was still not feeling real at all. Ravus brought him into the dropship and made him sit down. “Where are you taking me?” Loqi asked, slowly becoming a little clearer again. Ravus handed him a glass of water. “Here. Drink up.” While Loqi gulped down the water like he was completely dried out, Ravus continued: “To my office in Gralea. We'll need a few hours from here on, so you might rest until then.” Loqi shook his head. “I'm not tired.. Just exhausted? I want to know what's going on.” He insisted on staying awake, but his head felt so heavy and his eyes hurt from crying. Ravus sat down next to him and sighed. “Feeling exhausted is enough. Rest. We'll talk about everything else later.” And as if that confirmation was everything Loqi was waiting for, his eyes flew shut just some minutes later.
Ravus made sure Loqi was somewhat comfortable, with the given possibilities the ship had. He looked over to his sleeping friend. Unknown to the rest of the military, Loqi and Ravus were somewhat good friends. They were both not the best in social activities or in socializing in general, but they somehow got along just because of that. Ravus remembered how their friendship began. Loqi was promoted to Brigadier General back then, but his family thought it wasn’t much, like he could have done better. Except for his little siblings, no one was even proud of him. Ravus thought it was kind of sad, since he’d seen Loqi work extra hard for his goals. That was when Ravus decided to invite Loqi to a bar in Gralea, one that wasn’t overly full of people. What Ravus didn’t know back then was that Loqi was the worst drinker ever. Apparently Loqi tried to copy him and took the same drinks he did, but didn’t know they were so strong. Loqi thought he had to act tough. After two glasses of whisky, Loqi was completely drunk. His cheeks were crimson red and he had problems talking correctly. He suddenly started talking about how Ravus used to visit their family mansion when Loqi was still a teen, it was some official business with his parents, but Loqi kept staring at the guest like he had just seen the most beautiful man ever. Drunk Loqi had lost his sense of embarrassment as it seemed, since he told Ravus all about his teenage crush on him. Afterwards, Ravus had to carry Loqi out of the bar and noticed that the boy weighed nothing. He let Loqi sleep on the couch of his office that night and left him some painkillers and a glass of water on the table for the morning after.
Loqi didn’t remember a thing from that night and Ravus had always kept it a secret. He just felt flattered that Loqi had these kind of feelings as a teen. Still from that day on, Ravus and Loqi became good friends. He also tried to give Loqi some tips about gaining some healthy weight and muscles, even if Loqi wasn’t the type of man who needed to rely on his muscles, Ravus thought it was better than having none. Ravus snapped back to reality when Loqi groaned in his sleep. He took in his current form. Loqi was thin, thinner than he’d known him. Has he developed some eating disorder? Or was it just the stress and depression that he, surely, went through? Ravus couldn’t help feeling worried. No one told them why everyone from Vianard was sent home on vacation. Ravus only heard of the plan for Vianard when it already had happened. A day or two after the attack on Vianard, the whole Tummelt family was declared dead. Ravus never thought he’d see Loqi again.
Half an hour before they arrived in Gralea, Loqi woke up. The rest really did help a little, he admitted. Ravus told him they’d land soon and that, because Loqi was now official a ‘prisoner’, he had to put him in handcuffs. “It’s only until we reach my office. I’ll take them off then.” Ravus assured him. Loqi let his friend apply the cuffs. “Sure…” he mumbled. It still felt too unreal. Suddenly Loqi was a criminal, a traitor? He was glad it was Ravus with him and not Caligo anymore. Loqi didn’t know that Ravus had insisted to manage the case of his return. The dropship landed and Ravus pushed Loqi outside, acting to handle him harshly like he was supposed to treat a prisoner or traitor. But Ravus didn’t even try to hurt Loqi in any way. As soon as they arrived in his office, he took the cuffs off of Loqi’s hands. “Better? You can sit down over there.” Ravus pointed to the couch, while he sat down opposite on his chair. Hesitantly, Loqi tried his best to make himself comfortable on the couch. It had been a long time since he last visited Ravus office. But this time was so different.
“Listen, I have some questions that I need to ask you, but first, are there any questions you would like to ask me?” Ravus started. Loqi was glad he was given the possibility to ask something. “A ton of questions, but I guess most of them were already answered indirectly. Just one thing, are you going to kill me after I answered all your questions?” Ravus sighed loudly: “Well… I’m supposed to get every information out of you, then ‘get rid’ of you. You’re already declared dead, so..” Ravus stopped. It was hard to talk about having to kill his friend. “Don’t worry, Loqi. You will die tonight, but only in my report. I’m glad you’ve survived, I won’t end your life, even if it means we won’t be able to meet ever again, probably.” Loqi stared at his friend and couldn’t believe what he just had heard. He knew Ravus cared for him in some way, but to go that far? “You’re going to let me get away? But won’t you be in trouble?” Ravus smiled slightly, then shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve already planned this through when I was on the way to get you. As long as you stay ‘dead’ to the Empire, no one will question it.” Loqi only nodded slowly, his respect for Ravus only grew. Ravus asked him to tell him everything he remembered, who saved him, who told him about it being the Empires doing.
Loqi tried his best to answer the questions without breaking down in tears again. He tried to keep it short. Still, some tears did slip. Ravus knew it must have been hard, he knew how much Nanna and Frey meant to Loqi, losing them like that was really cruel. He gave his friend as much time as he needed to continue. But when Loqi told him who it was that saved him and others, Ravus raised an eyebrow. “The Lucians were there? Wait.. Cor the Immortal saved your ass? And he took care of you?” It was hard to believe, but Loqi nodded. “Yes I know that sounds crazy. I still think it is.” Ravus straightened his sitting position as he continued. “So you should return to...Insomnia. I guess..” It was hard for Ravus to just mention the crown city's name. He still held his personal grudge with the King. But if it meant that Loqi would be save there, Insomnia was the best solution. After Ravus had everything he needed to file his report, he set his notebook aside. “Okay, that’s enough. I can fulfil you a dying wish. Is there anything you want or any place you’d like to be taken to?” it felt weird for Ravus to ask that, but it was part of his plan. Loqi was taken aback a little, then remembered what his friend promised him. He won’t be killed. “I told you that..Cor had said he’d buried Nannie and Frey on the way from Vianard to Altissia. I want to..I just want to say goodbye, you know? But… I don’t have an exact location.” If Loqi actually were to die today, that would truly be his dying wish. “We will have to search a little, but I’m sure we can find the place. I will bring you there. I already had planned that you’d take that route to Altissia. Using the train might be too obvious, too many possible officers from the military.” Loqi was truly amazed by how much thought his friend had put into helping him.
They couldn’t get too close to Vianard, the city was still a total mess, and there were still MTs roaming around, killing anything that moved in the rubble. It was a sad and cruel sight, one that Ravus wanted to save Loqi to see. Ravus’ private car had no trouble driving through the snow. Loqi made sure to check anything that looked like a makeshift grave from the passengers window. They drove extra slow so they wouldn’t miss it. Luckily, the sun was already beginning to rise again. Loqi didn’t even realize they’d talked through the whole night, but it seemed logical. “Stop! Over there!” he screamed a bit too loudly at the sight. Ravus hit the brakes. Within a second, Loqi was already out, running up to the little grave. It was as Cor had described it to him. He fell down onto his knees. Loqi could feel it, they were right there, buried underneath the earth and snow. Ravus had gotten out in the meantime as well, staying a bit farther away. He wanted to give Loqi his time to say goodbye.
Loqi wept, he mumbled all kinds of small things, like how much he loved them, still loves them, how much he’d miss them. It was the only truth he still needed to find, and now he finally could at least tell them what he needed to. If only he could give them a better place to rest, but there was no way. Time passed and Loqi’s pants were already soaked from the snow. It was freezing cold, even with the sun fully out now. Ravus put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re gonna get sick. You should get out of the snow, okay?” he wanted to say more, he wanted to express his sympathy, but he needed to focus on his plan, on helping his friend to safety. It took Loqi a long moment to react to Ravus. Slowly, he got up from his position, wiping away remaining tears. “Goodbye, Nannie. Goodbye, Frey. I love you.” he said, gulping away another wave of sadness. “One day, we will meet again, okay? Be good and wait for me until then.” Loqi forced a little smile on his face. He wanted to make sure they knew that his brother would reunite with them, just not now. Not back then on that cruel night, not today either. But one day for sure. While Loqi said his goodbyes, Ravus took a coat out of the back of his car and put it over Loqi’s shoulders. “Are you ready to leave?” he asked, time was slowly running short on them. “Yes. Guess I have to be.” Loqi sounded raspy again. He turned to Ravus, then both went back to the car. “I will take you a little closer to the sea. I can’t bring you all the way, you’ll have to walk the rest. When you reach it, there will be a boat waiting for you. I’ve organized it. Take it to Altissia. As soon as you’re there, just don’t try to be too suspicious, don’t tell anyone your name either. Remember, Loqi Tummelt has died.”
Loqi mumbled a ‘yes’ and nodded, to show he truly understood. As soon as it was only a two or three kilometres walk to the sea, Ravus stopped the car. They both got out, Loqi hesitated to say something. He took a deep breath. “Thank you, Ravus. For everything.. not just this time.” It was hard. Loqi didn’t have the energy to cry again, and he was actually grateful for it. Ravus closed his eyes. This was hard for him, too. “Goodbye, Loqi. Farewell.” “Farewell, Ravus.” Loqi answered quietly. They kept standing there for a moment, until Loqi took a step forward and diffidently hugged the taller man. It felt awkward at first, they both never had much body contact. Ravus hugged him back. It was only a brief moment, a small contact, but it meant a lot. They broke the hug at the same time. “Good luck, Loqi.” “Take care, Ravus..” They nodded to each other, then both turned around and left in opposite directions. This was it, the last goodbye. To his homeland, to his siblings, and to his only friend. He didn’t look back. There was no going back now, there was nothing to return to in this land.
His leg started to hurt again as he finally made it onto that boat. Walking through deep snow took a lot of power and energy. Energy he didn’t really had left. His way back towards Insomnia was surprisingly uneventful. He had to take huge detours to not pass any military bases, and so, it took him more time, more days than he’d liked to. With the little money Loqi had left on him, he needed to rent a Chocobo. It was the best way to get to Hammerhead. As he reached his destination, his hunger drove him to Takka’s Pit Stop. He desperately searched his pockets for some leftover change, but it wasn’t enough for a decent meal. “Looks like you’ve had it rough, boy. Here ya go, it’s on the house.” Takka said as soon as he realized Loqi’s problem. He put a plate full of Chilli con Carne in front of him. “Eat up before it gets cold.” Loqi must have looked really poorly if that man pitied him enough to give his food away for free. Still, Loqi sat down at the counter and started eating. Deep in his mind he knew he had changed for good. The Loqi he knew himself would have never accepted such an act of pity. But now, Loqi learned to accept help, to not trust the people higher up, the people with more power. He had to trust the people he met on the way, the ones who would offer their kindness. Like Ravus did, like Cor did. And Loqi had to learn one more thing: to thank people for their given kindness. “Thank you for the meal.” he said while standing up.
Loqi had to walk all the way to Insomnia. Even with a meal in his stomach, he felt extremely tired, his whole body hurt and he felt like he was burning. He didn’t realize he broke a fever. With all the climate changes in two days, his body couldn’t keep up. When he finally reached the border, Loqi broke down. An officer had asked him if there was anyone he could call. Still the officer didn’t think this clearly Niflheimian looking man would mumble out the name of Marshal Cor Leonis. Cor was called out of the blue, he sat over some paperwork but couldn’t finish it. His thoughts kept coming back to Loqi. His well being, if he truly was able to return safely. “I’ll be there in some minutes.” he answered while already making himself ready to leave. Cor drove to the borders as quickly as possible. He stomped into the small office and quickly took the young man into his arms. Loqi looked bad. He looked paler than he already was, his forehead burned up and his face looked like Loqi had cried several times at least. Without further ado, Cor carefully put him into his car and brought him back to his apartment. Since there were no more clothes from Loqi in his place, he changed the blonde into some clothes from himself. Loqi was put into his former...no, into his bed. Cor sat down on the chair next to it. This time, he wouldn’t let him leave. This time, Cor would make sure Loqi healed completely. As best as he could. And Cor would be there for him, not letting him go. Not again.