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Later, Shinsuke would blame the alcohol.
He always blamed the alcohol. It was an easy excuse to use. One that most people wouldn’t question because most of them have already done stupid things or simply things they usually wouldn’t do because they had a few extra cups of sake. So that was the excuse Shinsuke would use.
Even though he had not drank a single drop of any alcoholic drink that day.
"Your family name," Shinsuke said in what was pretty much a whisper while staring down at the floor.
Bansai took his eyes off the book he was reading and looked up at him.
"Did you say something?”
Shinsuke continued to stare at the wooden floor when he spoke again, just a little louder this time.
"Give it to me,” he said.
“Oh?” Bansai asked. “Right now? Don’t you want to wait until later? I haven’t even showered yet—”
“I’m not talking about your dick, you buffoon!” Shinsuke said out loud. This time looking at Bansai as his face became red with what could be embarrassment or annoyance or a mix of both.
Bansai smiled. Of course he knew that, but lately he had been finding amusement in teasing Shinsuke a little just to see his usually bashful reaction. Perhaps he had been hanging out with Gintoki a little too much. Or maybe Tatsuma was the one to blame.
“I know,” Bansai said. “Seriously now, what did you say?”
Shinsuke’s expression went back from annoyed to serious as he avoided Bansai’s eyes again.
"Give me your family name.”
Bansai looked at Shinsuke confused. The man in front of him was staring at the floor, as he did whenever he was embarrassed, and Bansai could still see the blush on his cheeks. Shinsuke had just asked him for his family name. Wait, that could only mean…
“Oh.” was everything he was able to say.
Shinsuke shrunk in his place, clenching his fists and his teeth. He knew that wouldn’t be a good idea. Maybe now was the time to say it had been a joke and blame the cup of sake he didn’t actually have earlier.
“I mean. I…” Bansai started, “Of course. I would love to give you my name.”
Shinsuke lifted up his head and looked at him. His face was intensely flushed, the red of his skin competing with the color of the yukata he chose to wear that day, and Bansai couldn’t remember ever seeing him like that outside of intimate situations. It was adorable. How could a man in his mid-thirties look so damn adorable?
“May I ask you why this so suddenly?” Bansai asked.
“It’s not suddenly,” Shinsuke replied. “I’ve been thinking for a while. I just have no attachment to my family name and we’ve been together for years. That’s all.”
“So you just decided now was a good time to propose—”
“I’m not proposing!” Shinsuke said defensively.
Bansai smiled again, this time almost starting to laugh.
It was one of Bansai’s favorite things in life since they decided to settle down to live together peacefully. Small domestic moments like that one, and Shinsuke always acting awkwardly when dealing with things that required too much… vulnerability from his part, like openly showing his feelings and intentions. It was just something that would never change about the man, and it was a trait that, despite difficult to deal with sometimes, Bansai found endearing.
“Of course not,” Bansai pretended to agree while still trying not to laugh.
Shinsuke scowled at him but the blush didn’t fade.
“Should we go choose the rings together then?” Bansai said.
“What— Bansai, we’re not getting married!”
“Aren’t we?”
“I told you I’m not proposing!”
“Oh,” Bansai kept smiling. “Well then.”
Bansai closed his book and put it aside. He got up from where he was sitting and told Shinsuke to wait where he was. The man didn’t say anything but obliged. It didn’t take too long for Bansai to come back. He put himself on his right knee right in front of Shinsuke, only a few centimeters between them, and started talking.
“Since you’re not proposing, maybe I should do it before it’s too late and I miss my chance.”
Bansai picked a small case from inside his pocket and opened it, showing its contents to the other man and smiling as he watched his jaw dropping.
“Shinsuke,” he spoke. “Will you marry me?”
Shinsuke spent a few more seconds with his only eye and his mouth wide open, trying to absorb the scene in front of him.
“Are you serious?” was all he could ask.
“I am, I daresay.”
Shinsuke opened his mouth and closed it again without saying anything. He wanted to say yes. And he knew Bansai knew he wanted to say yes. He knew Bansai knew where this conversation was going since the beginning. He knew Bansai knew he wanted to get married. And that, yes, he was proposing.
“I…” Shinsuke started. But he couldn’t continue. He was absolutely speechless. He should say yes, but would only “yes” be enough? With what face he should say yes?
But like always, Bansai knew what was going on inside his head and he understood Shinsuke might need a little help.
“I brought the yakult you asked me to buy earlier today,” he said.
Shinsuke swore the man was able to read his mind sometimes. People often thought he couldn’t see anything behind those shades he usually wore, but Shinsuke wondered if he wore them because without them he was able to see things other people couldn’t.
He finally took courage to speak up.
“Will I still get the yakult if I say no?” he smiled.
“Absolutely not,” Bansai smiled back.
“Good grief… I guess I have no choice then. I will marry you, Bansai.”
Shinsuke could swear he never saw Bansai’s eyes glowing like that.
He put himself on his knees and then wrapped his arms around Bansai’s shoulders. He was aware of the rings Bansai was still holding, but right now they weren’t important, despite the situation. They could exchange them later, right now he just wanted to be closer.
Bansai closed the small box and placed it on the floor beside them. It was him the one that finished closing the space between them by putting his arms around Shinsuke’s waist and pulling him closer in a way their whole bodies were touching, there wasn’t any gap between them.
Bansai approached his face from Shinsuke’s and connected their mouths. It was a gentle kiss, without any hidden intentions, a kind they didn’t share very often, but they stayed what felt like an eternity with their lips touching.
When they separated, Shinsuke spoke up.
“You know it, right?” He said, avoiding Bansai’s gaze once again. “I don’t need to say it.”
Bansai smiled.
“I know.”
I love you.